Chapter 1913 Yukino Yukinoshita, "Deified," a Lonely Person Pursuing "Authenticity&qu

Chapter 1913 Yukino Yukinoshita, "Deified," a Lonely Person Pursuing "Authenticity"

Yukino Yukinoshita: "However, it cannot be denied that some of his views and practices, despite being utterly terrible, do have unexpected effects in solving certain problems."

Yukino Yukinoshita: "Moreover, at least in the world I live in, he doesn't seem to have fallen so low as to make choices that are completely unacceptable, lacking in principles and responsibility."

Although it wasn't explicitly stated, the subtext of that sentence was almost obvious.

"Some choices that are completely unacceptable" clearly refers to the "perfect ending" in the world where Hachiman Hikigaya lives in the chat group.

Even though she said she wouldn't hold a grudge, that incident clearly left a thorn in her heart, making her wary of the possibility that "Hachiman Hikigaya" would do such a thing.

Even so, the world of Hachiman Hikigaya still left a considerable "good impression" on her;
Otherwise, she wouldn't have said something like, "I haven't fallen so low as to make choices that are completely unacceptable, lacking in principles and responsibility."

Yukino Yukinoshita: "So, that's the current situation."

Yukino Yukinoshita: "He is a member of the Service Club, and I will, as the club president, provide necessary guidance and regulation for his behavior."

Yukino Yukinoshita said calmly, defining her relationship with Hachiman Hikigaya within the framework of "department head" and "member," as if this would cut off all unnecessary associations.

But those who know her know that the fact that she receives such "special treatment" is itself a special thing.

A knowing smile involuntarily crept onto Su Yunqing's lips; she understood this kind of "trying to cover up the truth" all too well.

An ordinary group admin: "Even if I knew that Hachiman Hikigaya from another world had achieved the so-called 'perfect strategy' and knew my original future trajectory..."

An ordinary group admin said, "Even while I'm giving him special treatment, I'm also wary of any potential 'underlying tendencies' he might have."

An ordinary group admin: "But, despite the short time you spent together, you still developed a considerable liking for him, right?"

Before Yukinoshita could possibly refute, Su Yunqing preemptively spoke in a confident, all-knowing tone:

An ordinary group admin said, "You don't need to refute me; your words have already conveyed that meaning."

Yes, that "special treatment" itself is the best proof.

If it were just an ordinary, annoying club member, given Yukino Yukinoshita's personality, she could have dealt with it in a more concise, indifferent, or even dismissive manner.

But she didn't.

She would unconsciously mention his "twisted logic" and "incomprehensible behavior" in her conversations, and she would distinguish him from the other Hachiman Hikigaya in front of other group members.

This "concern" might not even be fully understood by Yukino herself, but it certainly exists and subtly influences her behavior.

It was a kind of concern that went beyond ordinary classmates or club members, and carried personal feelings.

An ordinary group owner said: "As expected, no matter which parallel world it is, Yukino Yukinoshita and Hachiman Hikigaya are the most suitable."

Su Yunqing remarked with these thoughts.

Both were "loners" who were out of step with their surroundings, and both chose to uphold their inner principles and beliefs in their own way.

They both despise hypocrisy and pursue "genuine things," but they express it differently.

This is also the basis for their mutual understanding.

Yukino Yukinoshita is different from the typical heroines in light novels.

On the surface, she is a cold, excellent, but almost perfect beautiful girl; apart from being physically weak, ruthless towards others, and overly serious, she has almost no flaws.

Even the words "honest" and "upright" are often used to describe Yukino Yukinoshita's personality.

The words themselves foreshadow Yukino Yukinoshita's characteristics:
It eliminates false flattery and the need for feigned weakness; it is upright, honest, and straightforward.

As someone who has experienced devastating failures in interpersonal relationships, Hachiman Hikigaya is aware of the hypocrisy and powerlessness of his own attitude of rejecting others.

That's right, he didn't really see through it.

He was rejected when he confessed his feelings to a lovely and gentle girl, and he was also rejected when he sought understanding from his friends. It was because of these repeated setbacks that he was forced to become who he is today.

So although he used a bitter and indignant tone to criticize the hypocrisy of youth, deep down he still coyly longed for the possibility of a genuine youth.

But the snow beneath the snow is different.

In Hachiman Hikigaya's eyes, Yukino Yukinoshita is another version of himself.

They were both ostracized, but the nature of their situation was completely different.

His unpopularity may stem from his own weaknesses and shortcomings, while Yukino Yukinoshita's rejection is because she is too perfect and too dazzling, to the point that the mediocrity around her cannot tolerate her.

The sense of rejection she exuded was not a forced fall from grace for a loser like him, but a proactive choice, like a drawn sword or crystal-clear snow.

She used it as a blade to ruthlessly cut through the hypocrisy around her.

Faced with Miura Yumiko's subtle violence against Yui Yuigahama, he struggled internally but ultimately retreated due to cowardice, deeply realizing his own powerlessness;

However, Yukino Yukinoshita stands up for her friends, retaliating in kind and upholding justice with an indomitable and overwhelming attitude.

In Hachiman's eyes, Yukino Yukinoshita is like another ideal version of himself, someone he dreams of becoming, but knows in his heart that he can never become.

She was just as lonely as he was.

She, like him, had experienced past failures.

Like him, she actively rejected the people around her.

But she is perfect. Her loneliness stems from her own excellence, and also from her complete disillusionment with the hypocritical relationships around her, leading her to no longer have any expectations for the so-called youth and friendship between people.

She is perfect, he is a failure.

She made the choice actively; he accepted it passively.

She was strong and resolute, while he was twisted and pitiful.

She tackled the issue head-on, while he resorted to self-destructive tactics.

Even if she treats people coldly, she is still a star who is sought after; even if he abandons his dignity, he is still a marginalized person who is disliked.

But absurdly, they are essentially the same kind of people, all lonely individuals who are out of place in the world.

Therefore, Yukino Yukinoshita is no longer just an outstanding peer to him.

She was sublimated into a sublime possibility, a "god" and "lighthouse" standing tall in the wasteland of his personal spirit.

She vividly embodied the "real," idealized self that he longed to become but knew he could never be.

He unconsciously imbued Yukino Yukinoshita with a dreamlike and perfect impression, and the descriptions and inner monologues in the novel reveal an extreme infatuation.

Gazing at Yukino Yukinoshita, Hachiman Hikigaya becomes aware of his own existence, finding a beacon for himself in the darkness.

But is Yukino Yukinoshita really that "perfect"? The answer is no.

This was Hachiman Hikigaya's biggest misjudgment, and also the key to their relationship truly deepening.

Yukino Yukinoshita is also a "person" with obvious flaws, fragility, and confusion.

Her "perfection" is, to a large extent, a disguise for self-protection, an icy shell built with extreme rationality, excellence, and indifference to isolate her from harm.

Her "active choice to be alone" stems from a deep sense of distrust stemming from the exclusion, misunderstanding, and even the shadow of her older sister that she suffered as a child due to her outstanding abilities.

She didn't "lose hope," but rather "was afraid that her expectations would be dashed again," so she simply cut off all possibilities in advance.

Her "direct confrontation" is sometimes a clumsy display of inflexibility and lack of social grace, which can exacerbate conflicts and lead to greater isolation.

She too would feel lost and helpless, and would show signs of fatigue and weakness when no one was watching.

For example, she is not good at handling the complicated relationship with her older sister, Yang Nai, and often loses her usual composure and sense of superiority in front of her sister.

For example, she has deep doubts about the meaning of the "Service Department" and whether she can really "help" others.

For example, her overly direct and ruthless way of speaking often doesn't actually "solve" the problem; instead, it may create new problems.

In other words, Yukino Yukinoshita is a girl who tries to arm herself with "perfection" but also has scars, fears, and uncertainties in her heart.

Her "strength" is often a disguise of necessity; her "lack of need" may be hiding a deep "desire".

As time goes on, especially as the Service Club experiences various events together, Hachiman Hikigaya will gradually see this.

He would see her awkwardness and immaturity in handling certain things, her helplessness when faced with family troubles, the limitations of her theoretical "correctness" in the face of complex reality, and even the occasional small mistakes or vulnerable moments that did not fit her "perfect" image.

This "discovery" might initially be a disillusionment or even panic for Hachiman Hikigaya, who "deified" her, but on a deeper level, it is precisely the turning point that allows their relationship to move from looking up to each other to looking at each other on equal terms, and even to truly understand and get closer.

Because only when he saw her imperfections, saw her true face as a "human" rather than a "god," could the high wall between them, erected by the absolute opposition of "perfection" and "failure," possibly collapse.

He would discover that they were originally travelers standing on the same wasteland, one choosing to build a city with ice and snow, and the other choosing to roll in the mud.

Essentially, they are all fighting against the same loneliness and hypocrisy, and experiencing the same confusion and growing pains.

This process is the process of "demystifying," and it is also an essential path for relationships to become more authentic and profound.

For Yukino, being seen as imperfect might mean the risk of her disguise being exposed, but it also means the opportunity to be accepted as her true, less "perfect" self, which is perhaps what she desires more deep down.

Therefore, Su Yunqing said, "No matter which parallel world they are in, they are the most suitable." This "suitability" lies not only in the mirror-like comparison and attraction at first sight, but also in their ability and potential.

Beyond the initial "deification" and "misunderstanding," they see each other's most authentic and vulnerable core, and in this process, they achieve redemption and growth for each other and for themselves.

This is the deepest and most resilient bond that connects them.

Therefore, even though she learned about the future and Hachiman Hikigaya's choices in another world by joining the chat group, Yukino Yukinoshita still developed feelings for Hachiman Hikigaya despite being "waryed" about him in her own world.

Yukino Yukinoshita did not refute Su Yunqing's words, or rather, she could not deny them with a straight face.

Because of the existence of the "memory copy," she knew about the possible story between herself and Hachiman Hikigaya.

She saw his infuriating fallacies and self-destructive behavior, but also the clumsy kindness and almost obsessive pursuit of "truth" hidden beneath them.

She saw his vulnerability, inferiority complex, and struggles, but also the unexpected sense of responsibility and gentleness he displayed at crucial moments.

They are the same kind of people, all lonely individuals who feel alienated from the crowd, all abhorring hypocrisy and compromise, and all clumsily exploring their own paths to reconcile with the world, with others, and with themselves.

That resonance and reflection deep within her soul was so strong and undeniable that she couldn't deny how natural it was for her "future self" to fall for such a person.

If it weren't for that damn ending from another world, if Hachiman Hikigaya, who knew about that world, hadn't ultimately chosen both Yukino Yukinoshita and Yui Yuigahama;
So, when facing Hachiman Hikigaya, who is still at the starting point and whom she has only just met, her attitude might be more direct.

However, there are no "ifs".

That "perfect ending" was like a sharp thorn, deeply embedded in her heart.

Yes, she knew that Yui Yuigahama in the memory copy also liked Hachiman Hikigaya, and she knew that her "future self" had also had thoughts of wavering and retreating. She was even more saddened and guilty for the tears Yui shed when she finally rejected her.

However, "understanding" and "acceptance" do not mean that she can agree with the solution of "choosing two people at the same time"!

In her view, it was an irresponsible act towards everyone, including himself, a betrayal of the pursuit of "authenticity," and a weak and greedy compromise.

The image of "Hachiman Hikigaya" who made such a choice instantly collapsed in her mind, casting an indelible shadow over him.

This shadow inevitably spread to her perception of the "own" Hachiman Hikigaya in front of her.

Although her reason clearly told her that the Hachiman Hikigaya from the parallel world was not the same as the Hachiman Hikigaya from her own world, emotionally, she still unconsciously projected some of her disappointment and anger onto him.

It created a preconceived prejudice against him that "you might become like that too."

However, human emotions never completely follow the plans of reason.