Episode 16
Playlist~ Alan Walker - Unity
Fernando's POV
"Micaela don't do it!" I yelled my lungs out for her to hear me and she halted in between the waters surrounding her. I was right, it was Micaela afterall that was in there. Where I was standing was like a hill and I could sight the river below where Micaela was. Thank goodness her yellow top was flashy enough to draw attention from up here.
You might be wondering how I got here...well after a very long and tiring drive from Samcheong Park which was an hour drive from here and then I searched the rooftop, I also searched the malls which wasn't part of the list of places Sabrina gave to me but I just wanted to search every where before I finally found her here in Hangang River Park. I guess she's trying to get herself drown in that deep river. The day was already dark by the time I got here and the Park was so quiet and lonely. I only met two persons heading out of the park while I was coming to get Micaela, and I hadn't hesitate to ask them if they had seen her with the brief description I gave to them, thank goodness they had seen her when she got here, that gave me a clue to search round the park for her before I found her.
She glances back at me and I heard her stuttered my name. "Fer..nan...do".
"Please don't go into the water, it's very deep. You don't have to take your life just because of what is going on around you. We can fix whatever problem it is that you have, but don't just kill yourself. I'm sorry I left without telling you, I promise it'll never happen again" I pleaded and took a step cautiously.
"You stay back, okay? You have no idea what I've been through and what I'm going through, so just stay back and don't come any closer!" she yelled scornfully and took a step backwards into the water.
"Micaela stop, taking your own life wouldn't solve anything, it'll..."
"It will solve everything, I mean everything! I'll finally find peace of mind!" she cuts in taking another step backwards into the water. As I watched in horror, she was getting deeper into the water and I was almost losing sight of her.
"You're acting childish and stubborn. Trust me drowning yourself won't solve anything. Just take a deep breath and calm down. Please get out of the water and we can talk it over, please. If it's because of what I did that got you so upset to take such radical decision, then I'm deeply sorry, I mean it, I'm sorry" I took some steps forward and she took some steps backwards again.
The waters has covered more than half of her body and only her neck to her head could be seen. Just another second and I'll lose sight of her completely. What can I possibly do to stop her? I tried to think of a way out but it was like my head was blocked at this point in time, had it been I've been watching TV dramas then I could have acted one right now. I stared down at my clothes and shoes and I quickly took off my shoes. I can't watch her drown, I can't do that now nor ever.
"Well, since I can't stop you then I can as well join you!" I yelled to her hearing and she squint back at me. I took off my jacket hastily and threw it to the ground.
"What did you just say?" she asked like she just didn't hear what I said.
"I am joining you in the water, let's drown together!" I yelled back dramatically. Well, what did you expect me to say? If she's going to drown then I'm drowning with her, I can't live to tell the story of how I watched a lady drown. If you ask me what I'm doing right now I'll tell I don't know what is going on, so deal with it. I took off my shirt and threw it to the ground and the cold breeze hits my skin.
"What?!" she exclaims in bewilderment and I shrugged and took off my shirt and my shoes.
"What? Isn't that what you wanted, to get drown?" I asks taunting her if she'll have a change of mind.
"You're joking. I don't have time to play the game you're aiming at me" she replies and turnaround. And the next second everywhere was quiet and I lost sight of her. The river was quiet like no one was in there when certainly Micaela was in there.
For the first time in my life, I was so fucking scared. Scared like a little boy that is watching a horror movie. I stared blankly at the river and goosebumps hits my exposed body. I stood there, I don't know how long before I snapped out of shock and ran to the river as far as my legs could carry me.
"Micaela! Micaela! Micaela! I'm coming to get you, hang in there!"
I got closer and dive into the water in search of her, few minutes later I found her. Damnit! I cussed when I saw her unconscious body and I carried her in my arms and swam back to the river bank and laid her down. "Micaela, Micaela" I tapped her cheek gently and she didn't stir. I placed my hands on her chest and just as I was about giving her artificial oxygen she stirs up and coughed out some water.
Relief washes through every part of me and I sigh slightly and stared into her eyes. "What is wrong with you Micaela? Why are you doing this to yourself? Why do you choose to take your life this way? You would have just died in there not quite long ago!" I scolded her if she'll wake up and face reality for once.
"I know that already! I already told you I wanted to die, you should have just let me do it!" She cried out shivering.
"I didn't let you do it because I don't want you to do it. You deserve to live! Wake up and stop this madness!" I scolded her again sending more shivers to her and she bow her head low and sob silently. Was I really helping matters with my actions? I don't have to be so harsh on her, she needs calm words to make her feel at ease.
I held her arm and my right hand reached for her chin. "I'm sorry I raised my voice at you, I shouldn't have done that. But you made me to, I don't like the word suicide neither do I ever want to witness it. You're getting cold, c'mon let me take you home. We'll talk about this later".
"Why should I go home with you when you'll be gone afterwards?" Her question took me unawares and I couldn't give a reply for a moment. I really don't get her, is she expecting me to stay with her forever? "You see, you'll leave as soon as you see I'm safe at home and then I'll be left all alone with depression!"
I stared at her silently, trying to process her words. "I'll stay with you, you'll never be alone again as from this moment" I found myself say out loud without a second thought.
Awkward silence took charge of the moment and it was then my words echoes in my head. Wait, what did I just say? Did I just make a promise to her? What the hell was I thinking, how am I suppose to keep this promise when I'm living a thousand miles away from here?
I was so caught up with my own thoughts that when I glance back at her, I saw her eyelids shutting off closed. "Micaela!" I whisper-yelled and wrapped my arms around her body and she slumped in my arms. "Micaela can you hear me?" I tapped her cheek lightly but she didn't stir. She must be exhausted, I carried her and walked to where I threw my shirt and jacket and I picked up the jacket and wore it on her, while I pick up my shirt and my footwear and we left the Park.
We both made it home before midnight with a cab. The worried expression on her workers faces was immeasurable. It made me wondered how someone who is so much loved by people could think of taking her own life. That doesn't matter right now, when she's awake she's going to tell me everything.
"Show me to her room" I said to Micaela's maid.
"Yes sir, come with me" she made a bow and led me upstairs to Micaela's room.
On entering her room, I was in awe. Her room was so cozy and well designed in white patings while the floor was in black fancy tiles and her wardrobe was also in white and silver design. I laid her on her queen size bed and glance around the room. This was exactly a second version of my room. She's got some high taste just like me. I gaze up at her maid.
"She needs a change of clothes" I said even though I knew where to get her clothes from.
"I'll get some from her wardrobe" she replies and rushed up to her boss's wardrobe to pick out some clothes for Micaela.
I glance around the room trying to buy time while she searches for the best of Micaela's clothes I guess because it's taking her forever to bring out just one and I'm beginning to run out of patience. "Can you just decide and bring out a pair of top and leggings or whatever you call it for her to wear?" I half-yelled.
"Right away, Sir" she responded and left the wardrobe and walk up to me with a magenta color top and a black sweatpants.
So she actually saw a pair of cloth afterall but choose to sleep in there searching for probably her boss's work outfit if I hadn't requested for her to hurry up? Ladies! I growled under my breath and waited for her to get to it but she stood there staring at me. "What again?" I asked exasperatingly.
"Please excuse us for few minutes" she said and I raised a brow at her. She glance down at sleeping Micaela and glances back at me.
"Oh!" I exclaim understanding what she actually meant. She wanted to dress up her boss without my presence needed. "I'll be out for 3minutes, you should be done by then" I said and she raised a brow at me. "What?" I shrugged at her and she fiddles with the cloth on her hands.
"Three minutes is quite a short time Sir" she replies and I groaned. Does she want to use the whole of the night to switch her boss's dress?
"Fine! 5minutes approximately should be enough to do that. I'm out of here" I reconsidered and she nods with a frown like she wasn't really satisfied with the five minutes as well. Well, I don't know how she wants to do it, but she should be done before I'm back.
I exited the room and stood at the passage and then I started flouncing back and forth. Antonio! My mind suddenly reminded me I haven't called him to tell him how it's going down here. I dig out my phone from my pocket and I dialled his line. He didn't pick on his first and third ring, is he already asleep or what? Oh, I forgot, Seoul is 8hours ahead, he should be at work by now. I hanged up the call at the last ring and I checked the time. It's already five minutes now. I knocked on the door once and opened the door.
"Right on time Sir" she flashed me a nervous smile and I nod at her.
I stared down at Micaela who was still sound asleep. The top she was wearing brought out brightness on her face. I stepped forward and pulled the blanket to cover her body and I sat down beside her. I touched her forehead to check her temperature and then I realized she was running high fever. I glance back at her maid which I haven't known her name yet and she raises a questioning brow at me.
"Is she okay, Sir?" she asks panicking.
"Uhmm yeah, just a fever. Please get me lukewarm water and a towel" I replied and she nods and rushed out of the room. I returned my gaze on Micaela's sleeping body and I reached for her cheek and rubbed on it gently.
"I really might not have been through what you've been through or you're going through now, but just know that I've had worst experiences that until this point of my life I still have nightmares of it. Is not that I haven't thought of taking my life at one time or another, but I choose to live because I have special people in my life looking up to me, and moreover, I want those who wanted to ruin my future to see they couldn't do it no matter how hard they tried. To me, that's the best revenge to ever give those who wanted to see your downfall. They're people who really do care about you, your friends are there, your workers, your fans. You can't just fail all of them this way, even though you don't want to live for them, live for yourself. I...."
"Sir, here it is. How is she feeling now? Should we take her to the hospital?" The maid barge in interrupting me.
"The situation is not so bad. Let's try this first and if it doesn't work then we'll take her to the hospital, okay?".
"Okay" she nods and handed me a towel and a bowl of water.
"Thank you" I collected it from her and I kept the bowl on the bed beside where I was seated and I deep the towel in the bowl of water and squeeze out the water and placed the towel on her forehead and massage it back to her head. I removed it and did the same thing to her face down to her neck and I stopped on her chest. I deep the towel in the water one last time and I place the towel on her forehead.
"She should be fine by morning" I said with conviction.
"I hope so. Thank you so much, Sir for bringing ma'am home. The last time she was gone like this I was so scared that something bad had happened to her. But I was so relieved when she came back unhurt. The only thing was that she was so drunk that night and she wasn't even with her friends, she drove all alone home in a drunken state of mind. Can you imagine how lucky she was not to have ran over someone or something?".
I stared at Micaela's maid in alter surprise from all she just narrated to me. Micaela has attempted to kill herself before today? "When did that happen?" I asks.
"Last month" she answers and I gasps. Such a close period of time. I can't believe she's been planning on suicide for a long time now. Who knows other times she has attempted to do this when no one was there? It's hard for me to open up to her maid of the real intentions of her boss. I glance at Micaela's innocent face and I returned my gaze back to her maid.
"You can spend the night here, Sir. It's past midnight, it's not really safe out there since you're not with your car" she said intruding my thoughts.
"Okay, thanks. I'll sleep on the couch downstairs if it's okay" I replied.
"No, we have three spare room in this house. I'll show you to one of them if you're ready. By the way, I'm Ji-hye and you're?".
"Fernando. Pardon me, I doubt I'll ever pronounce your name right while I'm here" I smiled and she laughs.
"It's no troubles. I can teach you if you're willing to learn" she grins widely and I chuckled.
"Teach me?" I asks and she nodded. "I don't think I'll ever grab it" I said in all honesty.
"Just give it a try, please?" she begs clasping her hand and pouting. This Korean girls are really something.
"Fine, I'll try. We should create a quiet atmosphere for your boss, don't you think?".
"I thought so too. You should also have some rest, it must have been a long day for you. Have you eaten yet?" she asks and I shook my head. That's true anyways, I haven't really eaten anything since morning just a cup of coffee. "I'll fix up something for you. Come with me".
I nod and stood up and she carried the bowl of water and led the way out of the room. We got downstairs and she walks me to one of the guest rooms. "Do you like it here Sir Fernando? Did I pronounce your name well?" she giggles and I chuckle.
"Well, not so bad, you pronounced it well. But if you should pronounce it this way when you're with some Mexicans then I can assure you they'll tell you to shut the fuck up" I joked and she laughs and fake frown thereafter.
"I'm hurt. I'm still going to try just as you'll also try learning mine" she flashed me a smile.
"We'll see. By the way, the room looks cool to me. Thank you" I returned her smile and she bows in acceptance.
"You can have a warm bath or anything you feel like doing while I fix up something for you. Do you have something in mind you'd like to have for dinner?".
"Ji-hye, it's late already, you should go to bed and have some rest". She burst into laughter and I knew why she was laughing. "What? Didn't I pronounce it well?" I asks smiling.
"No, you did. Just that it sounded so foreign in your tongue" she giggles.
"Okay, I get it. No more addressing of names, just title's. Like, Miss, Mr, ma'am..."
"아니" she replied in Korea language and I raised a brow at her. "I meant no. No, I won't address with just title. Mr. Fernando is the perfect way to address you" she giggles and I shook my head in amusement.
"Alright then, have it your way" came my reply and I made my way to the bed.
"I'll make sandwiches and a cup of juice for you. I'll be back in 10" she turnaround to leave.
"That's like saying you'll be back by 15!" I called out to her hearing and she halted and shot me a playful glare before exiting the room and shut the door closed.
I heave a long sigh I've been holding since this evening and I flop on the bed. My last 24hours has been a life and death situation, or simply put it has been a coerce. What would have happened within a month happened within 24hours, isn't that weird? Micaela Alvarado is the reason behind everything, I've never witness a suicidal case before, but with her, today I just did. To be honest, that scared the shit out of me. Mehn, how would I have lived with such unfortunate incident unfolding right in front of me? It's going to haunt me for the rest of my life and that's like adding my rape incident to it.
All the same, what matters most is I was able to save her life and nothing tragic happened. Now the question running through my mind is, what if she wakes up and still feels like leaving this world? Would I still be able to stop her or save her like I did today or yesterday since it's already morning? It's no longer me and my past now, it's all about her. How long do I have to stay here to keep protecting her life? Why do I even care of her existence? So many questions left unanswered as I stared up at the ceiling.












