Episode 19

Micaela's POV

Oh my God I kissed him, I kissed Fernando Perez my long time crush, the only guy I've ever loved, the only guy I caused to be stone cold to women up till date, I did kissed him. This is so surreal! What the hell did I just do? My hands were trembling on the steering wheel of my car as I drove to no destination in particular. I can't believe I wasn't thinking straight when I stole a kiss from him. I'm such a heartless bitch! Wasn't it enough I ruined his life while he was just a teenager and he's still trying to get over his past and now I had to make him remember all of it again? What kind of girl am I? God knows I only went there to show my gratitude for covering me up in front of my friends and not to kiss him. I swear I didn't mean to kiss him.

*Few Hours Earlier*

"I see you later found my friend yesterday. Tell us where you found her and what exactly she was doing when you found her, because yesterday wasn't the first time she's disappearing on us" Sabrina said and the whole room went silent. My palms were getting really sweaty where I was standing, I knew this was the end of me if Fernando should tell them the truth. They'll start seeing me as a selfish friend who doesn't care of others feelings. "Fernando! We're waiting for you!" Sabrina half-yells startling me.

I was at the brim of tears as I locked gaze with Fernando. He stood up from his seated position and adjusted the chair back. His hands were in his pocket and his gaze narrowed to Sabrina. "You know, you ladies generally are really full of dramas which is why I don't like spending time with you all. I beg to take my leave, I have important matters to attend to" he said and gave a slight bow and began walking to the door.

What?! I almost exclaimed aloud. He...he didn't answer the question Sabrina asks?

"What do you even mean we ladies are full of dramas? I just asked you a question and you're walking out on me?!" Sabrina half-yells with her hands on her hips. Good question Sabrina, I thought inwardly.

"Young lady, I don't have time for long conversations. If you want to know where I found her, you should ask her yourself, I have business matters to attend to which gives me more money than conversation like this. If you'd excuse me, I'm leaving" Fernando retorted and walks out on us.

The three of us gasps at his arrogance but then a thought hits me, Fernando was actually ignoring Sabrina's question for my sake. He doesn't wants to reveal my deep secret if not I'll be screwed.

""Ji-hye" his voice rang in the room and all our gaze was diverted to the door. This was it, he changed his mind, he's going to tell my friends all about last night. "I'm sorry but you have to help me with my breakfast again, don't worry, I'll make it up to you" he continues and winked at her and I gape at the door dumbfounded.

He didn't betray me like I thought he would, he left my house without even saying a goodbye to me. Although I was sad he left without talking to me, but I was happy deep down that he kept my little secret or maybe big secret whatever you want to call it.

A huge sigh of relief escapes my mouth unconsciously causing Sabrina to glance back at me. "What?" I asked with a shrug and she frowns at me.

"Seriously babe, you couldn't even stop him from walking out on us just like that?" she asks in an exasperated tone with her arms folded and placed on her chest, while all I did was shrugged in response. "Where the hell did you say you knew such an arrogant jerk from again?" she continues and Kim snickered.

"Sabrina, I've told you before that he's my highschool friend, how many times do you want me to say it? You know what, I'm so hungry right now, I don't know about you ladies" I replied in a bored tone and took a sit on one of the dinning chairs.

"I think my stomach just rumbles now that you mentioned it. Ji-hye, can I share that abandoned breakfast with you?" Kim giggles and joined me in the dinning.

"Of course, I'll gladly share with you, I can't eat the whole meal anyways when I still have mine intact in the kitchen" Ji-hye giggles and took few steps to the table and started serving Kim out of Fernando's breakfast.

I gaze up at Sabrina which was staring at us with a wide gape. "Sabrina, are you not going...."

"Join you ladies?" she half-chuckles cutting me off and I raised a brow at her. "You ladies are really something, especially you Micaela. I was worried sick over you last night only for me to come here this morning seeing you healthy and sound without a scratch and when I asked for an explanation on your hideout you choose to bullshit me, isn't it?".

"Sabrina c'mon, don't be...."

"It's fine, I guess I'm the one pushing this friendship thing, it's time for me to face reality and know you don't value my friendship with you like I value yours" she cuts in and then turnaround and walk away.

Kim and I shared a brief glance at each other and I stood up to go after Sabrina, I think she's taking this whole thing so serious. "Sabrina please wait up" I called after her but she turns deaf ears to me. "Sabrina I'm talking to you, please wait!"

"What for? To bullshit me more?" she halted glaring up at me.

"Oh Sabrina dear, you're really taking all this too serious, don't you think so?".

"Really? I can't believe my ears. You know what, just let me leave so I won't bother asking serious questions and so you can have your peace!" She snapped back at me and turnaround to leave.

I held her wrist and she glance down at my hand. "Please don't leave. I'm really sorry if I said something bad to you, but trust me it wasn't my intention to deliberately offend you. You do know how much I value your friendship and that of Kim's, you girls I've been my sisters ever since I got to know you two, I can't possibly trade your friendships for anything".

"But why then do you make me feel like you don't value it? I just hate when you disappear on us without even given us a clue on where to find you should incase godforbid something terrible happens. It gives me chills whenever you do that, is there something going on in your life that I don't know of?".

Sabrina gaze was fixed on mine and my eyes was almost betraying me right now. I blinked away quickly before I'll give in to her beautiful puppy eyes and start spilling out all I've been hiding concerning my suicidal thoughts. I can't tell her all about that because a thousand questions will definitely come up with the reason behind why I want to end my own life. Although nothing stops me from telling her or Kim, but I don't trust them enough to keep such a big secret and moreover I don't want them to judge me now.

"Sabrina, you know me too well, if I'm hiding anything I'm sure by now you would have figured it out already. Stop thinking too much about me, I'm fine really, is just that sometimes I just need space to clear my head on some things and also I get inspiration more when I'm in my space. So, is nothing serious to worry about, I'm really fine, okay?".

"I hope you're really telling me the truth, babe, I really don't want to loose you" she said in a soft tone of voice and entwined our hands.

I pulled her to a hug and whispers, "You're not losing me, dearest".

"I'm going to finish up all the food on this table if one more minute pass and you two are not here!" Kim yells from the dinning room startling both of us apart. We giggled and shook our heads amusingly.

"You're such a foodie but yet you're skinny!" Sabrina yells back and we burst into laughter and made our way back to the dinning room.

"Whatever!" Kim retorts and a smile spread on my face.

After having breakfast with my friends, an hour later I was left alone with my thoughts on how to show my gratitude to Fernando for saving my ass. I could remember before Ji-hye invited both of us for breakfast earlier on he made mention of us meeting again and talking about why I wanted to take my own life, perhaps when we meet then I'll use that opportunity to say thank you to him for all he'd done since he got here. I can't help but flashback to our first meeting at the bar to the elevator where we got stucked and then he helped me save face from my ex colleagues, then he saved my life again when we almost had a fatal accident and last night....last night was a night to remember forever.

While I was yet thinking about everything, a text message notification popped up on my iPhone and I slide the locks open and clicked on the message. It was an unknown number which I had a missed call on yesterday but didn't return the calls when I saw it today. The text message reads, "Hey Micaela, I can't meet up with you like I had said earlier, I'm going back to Madrid today in two hours time, I hope you take care of yourself. Goodbye. Fernando". He's leaving? A gasps escapes my mouth and I was at the brim of tears, Fernando was leaving me here in this country more or less he's leaving me in my own sad world again. I thought he's here to stay? Isn't that what he had promised last night?

When I blinked my eyes, tears were rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably. No matter what it takes I have to see him before he leaves even if is for the last time. I dried up my tears and got myself ready to see him.

NOW

Tears has made my vision blurry and still I refused to stop the car. What's the point of living, huh? Fernando will never forgive me for kissing him without his permission. Was it even necessary for me to kiss him all in the name of gratitude? I've not settle the score with him of years ago but yet I created another. Why is my life such a complicated one? I was so clouded with my thoughts that when I blinked my eyes to get a clearer view of the road the first thing I saw clearly was a young guy. "Oh my God!" I screeched and maneuver the steering wheel until the car came to a stop at the sideway of the road.

I can't believe I almost ran someone over, that would have mean a life jail sentence. Luckily for me I was able to avoid it. I was panting heavily when I realized it, I took a deep breath and bow my head on the steering wheel. What is really wrong with me?