Episode 04

Playlist~ Tu Dolor - Luciano Pereyra

Fernando's POV

My meeting with my investors went successfully well, after the day's work, I refused to take the advice of my friend of partying or doing anything that would make me stay out. Rather I went home to have some rest against the next day. Twice in a week I get to work and direct the miners on what to do, tomorrow is one of those days I get to do that, so enough rest is needed in order to be energized to do so.

After having my bath and had dinner, I relaxed on my comfy couch in my living room with my iPad pro in hand. I search through my PDF files to pick one of the inspirational books I'd downloaded few days ago. Then my mind wanders off to Antonio words: "Is not really the matter of being a softy dumbass. I just find the story similar to what happened to you. I'm dead serious! You've got to read this book, perhaps after reading you can tell me if I was wrong or right".

I don't know when my fingers has typed the title of the book and it's author and now I was at Amazon Kindle page. In the page, the book cover is designed with white background and then it had a broken shaped hearts on the background with the title written in red 'Shattered Hearts' and it's author name below the cover Micaela Alvarado. Seeing this book again sent turbulence to my heart like in the afternoon when I'd seen it.

I clicked on the description of the book and read it: Rape is the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone be it female or male, many think it is only females that becomes victim of rape but the story of Luciano shows males are also victims. Luciano was raped as a teenager and his past made him to hate women. How did the rape happen? Who was behind it? Will he ever let go of his past? Find the answers inside this book.

I stared at the screen of my iPad and never took my eyes off it. Reading the description drives my mind back to that ungodly and miserable night of my life. My heart began aching badly and my breathing suddenly became furious, my hands began shaking and at the same time I was gripping firmly to my iPad. Faint voices and laugh was ringing in my head causing me to shudder.

I screamed aloud and I realized my voice could be heard in reality because my driver came running to me in my living room.

"Sir Fernando are you okay? Is something wrong?" he asked staring at me in panick and I glance back down at what I was holding, my iPad.

I gazed up at Pedro my driver and I handed my iPad to him in silence and he stared at my hand confusedly. "Take it!" I ordered and he took it from my hand without hesitation. "Turn it off and hold on to it till when I ask for it".

"Yes boss" he bowed and turn around to leave but he halted. "Sir are you really okay?" he asked and I nod slightly.

"I'm fine. You can leave" I replied coldly and he obeyed in silence and left for his apartment. Pedro stays in my guest apartment in my mansion that was why he easily heard my screams. He's been a good man and he has been working for me for 2years now, he cares for me like his son but right now I wasn't in the mood to become friendly with him.

When I heard the door shut closed I groaned aloud and sweep my hair with my hands. I was angry, sad, confused and I hate myself for always feeling weak when it comes to my past. What is wrong with me? Is thirteen years ago it happened but it feels like yesterday, every little thing drives my mind to it. The fear, the pain, the anger, the betrayal, the overpowering could all still be felt right inside of me. That rape killed me emotionally and physically. How do I get over my past? I've read motivational books, listened to motivational speakers, watch videos on how to get over one's past but their advice only last in my mind that moment I'm reading it and after that I'm back to my old self.

I think I'm drowning in my past and there's no one to drag me out of it. I sat down there thinking over everything and wondering if my life will ever get better. I might have all the wealth in the world but my past wouldn't let me have my peace and enjoy it. The damage of that night has been a nightmare that has chosen to stay with me for the rest of my life. I felt my own tears spilling from my eyes.

I stood up and reached out for my bottle of whiskey and drank directly from the bottle to stop the pain I feel in my heart. I sat down on the couch and continued drinking and crying. I wish Antonio was around he would have looked for a way to make sure I'm not wallowing in my past.

**~~**

"Sir Fernando, Sir Fernando" a faint voice rang in my ears and I sluggishly flutter my eyes open to find Mr. Pedro standing in front of me. I helped myself up and I felt my head banging like someone was trying to get gold out of it. I held my held up and slowly gazed around, I came to my senses knowing I'd slept in my living room last night. On the table was an empty whiskey bottle I'd taken last night before I'd slept off. I now understand what is happening to my head, a hangover.

"Good morning Sir Fernando, it's past 10am. I was waiting for you to come out so I can drive you to your office as usual but I didn't see you that's why I'm here to see if you were okay".

"Past 10am?" I asked a little bit loud and I groaned in pain when my head felt like exploding for just that little raising of voice.

"Yes Sir. You're not in good shape today, you drank too much last night. I've told you it's not good for you to be drinking that way" he scolded and I ignored him and tried standing up to my feet. "Let me help you to your room" he offered and I accepted as he wrapped my arm around his shoulders and helped me upstairs to my room.

"Do you still have some painkillers?" he asked after sitting me down on my king-size bed.

"Yes, check the first-aid box in my closet" I answered and he did and found the first-aid box. He opened it and took out the painkiller drug and handed two tablet to me, he grab the bottle water on my table and gave it to me and I collected it and swallowed the drug before gulping down the water.

"Thank you. Just give me 30minutes and I'll be ready for work".

"With all due respect Sir Fernando, you're not allowed to go to work today. You need enough rest" he said in all seriousness and I almost laughed if not for my predicament, next time I won't drink this much.

"Says who?" I asked calmly hiding my smiles.

"Says me" he answered just like I saw it coming. "You're not feeling well today, please rest so you'll be strong enough to work when you resume tomorrow".

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I have some teams to lead in completing today's task in the mining site, they can't commence work without my presence. Just go ahead, I'll join you later".

"Sir, the mining work is a serious one that needs workers with good health and strong hands. I'm not saying you're not strong enough but I'm not sure you are for today".

"Mr. Pedro, I understand your fears, I'll be fine. Just allow me have some rest and I'll be ready for today's task" I said and he nods without another objection and exited my room.

I lay back down on the bed and I shut my closed to catch few minutes sleep before I get ready for work.

I never knew my few minutes sleep will become five hours sleep, I woke up feeling so much better and when I checked the time it was past 3pm. "What!?" I exclaimed with wide eyes. Did I just missed today's activities? I picked up my phone and my missed calls was beyond expectations.

While still staring at my phone, there was an incoming call from my supervisor at the mining site, he's the fourth guy that has a 15% share of the mining industry. "Good day, Alonzo".

"Boss, I'm glad you finally picked up your calls. We've been so worried about you, are you okay, boss?" he asked on his end and I nodded like he was seeing me.

"Yes I'm fine, I just slept so much and forgot I have work to do with you guys".

"It's okay boss, I took care of it already. You can rest as much as you want, you can come for inspection tomorrow if you're less busy" he said and I raised a brow which he wasn't seeing.

"No, I can still come and join you guys and....."

"There's no need for that. Take a day off boss you need it. You work so hard like the world was going to end tomorrow. C'mon, live and have fun, you're still young and most of all you're single" he cuts in.

I smiled and said, "If you insist then I will accept your offer. Thank you for being there at the right time".

"Any time boss" he replied and I chuckled. He's fond of calling me boss all the time and I've told him several times not to but it was like I was speaking to the winds.

"When will you stop calling me boss?" I asked even when I know the answer.

"When you choose to get married then I'll switch it from Boss to Mr. Fernando" he laughed and I laughed so hard.

"You're such a crazy guy. I'll see you tomorrow, thanks once again" I replied.

"Yes boss, enjoy your day" he hanged up the call and I sigh in relief.

Mr. Pedro knew I'd slept off longer than expected and he didn't bother to wake me up, I know fully well that it was part of his plan for things to turn out this way. They're right I need to rest, not just to rest but to also meditate and think straight. But before then I had to return all the calls I missed including that of my mom and Antonio.

After the call my mind began diverting back to that misery book, Shattered Hearts. I'm beginning to get intrigued by what the content of the book is all about. Does the story really have any ties with me just as my best friend said or was he just exaggerating? Should I really continue to read that book?