Chapter 17 Ep17

IT WAS as if the sky knew what the day meant.

Grey clouds laid suspended above their heads as Falcon chucked the last bag into the backseat of the taxi. Freya stood a foot away, her fingers anxiously intertwined with each other as the gravity of their situation finally began to sink in.

He was leaving.

There wasn’t a single bone in her body that didn’t want to simply grab him and haul him away. To beg him not to go. But she knew she couldn’t change his mind. Once he had decided on something, he refused to budge.

Freya studied her white shoes, refusing to meet Falcon’s eyes as he walked closer. Combat boots joined her line of vision and rough fingers gentle tilted up her chin, forcing her eyes to him. He had a sad smile on his lips, a longing in his eyes and it made Freya’s heart clench as she felt tears threaten to fall.

“I’ll be back before you know it, love,” he spoke softly. “And I’ll call you every day. I promise.”

Freya’s jaw clenched as she tried to hold back the tsunami of emotions that threatened to break out if she so much as opened her mouth. She nodded mutely, her eyes darting back to the ground.

“Baby,” Falcon murmured. “We’ll be alright. Come here.”

He held his arms out for her to fall into and she did so without hesitation. She clutched onto him with all she was worth, gripping the leather jacket that covered his back as the first tear escaped down her cheek. Falcon squeezed her tighter and a sob ripped out from her throat.

“Ple-ease,” Freya drew in a haggard breath. “I don’t wa-want you to go.”

Falcon smoothed down her hair as he tucked her beneath his chin. His heart ached, but he knew he was doing the right thing.

“I know, sweetheart,” the hold Freya had on him hurt but he didn’t mind it. “I don’t want to leave either. But I have to.”

He drew in a deep breath before pressing a long kiss to her hair.

“I love you,” he said softly, pressing another kiss to her cheek before brushing the hair from her face.

Her eyes were red and puffy and her mouth drawn down in a heartbreaking pout, but Falcon still thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“I love you,” he whispered again before finally placing his lips on hers.

Freya clutched onto him desperately, as if she could keep him there if she held on tight enough. Falcon’s hands trembled slightly as they curled around her waist, his throat swelling as tears pricked the corners of his eyes.

All too soon, he pulled back, blinking a few times before pulling in a deep breath and resting his forehead against Freya’s.

“It’s okay,” he didn’t know if he was trying to reassure her or himself. “It’s going to be fine.”

His hands drifted up to Freya’s arms, rubbing away the early morning chill from them as he mustered a smile for her.

“Okay,” Falcon breathed out, pausing for a moment. “I have to go.”

He wished he could bring her with him to the airport, - hell, he wished he could bring her with him completely - but he knew that if he did, it would be all the harder to leave her. Besides, her father was at work and he didn’t trust a taxi driver to bring her home safely.

Falcon squeezed Freya’s arms softly before reluctantly detaching himself from her. Everything in him cried out to go back to the safety of her arms but he forced himself to take another step away, his eyes not leaving hers.

Tears began to collect in Freya’s eyes and the sight broke Falcon’s heart. Before he knew what he was doing, Freya was back in his arms and he was kissing away a fallen tear. They remained like that for a few more moments, relishing their last few seconds together.

Falcon tore himself away from her, turning his back and walking towards the taxi before he could change his mind and never leave her side. Only when his hand wrapped around the door handle did he hesitate.

He risked a glance back, praying it wasn’t the wrong decision. His girl had one arm wrapped around her torso, the other covering her mouth as she held in her tears. Once she realised he was looking, she smiled, her hand shifting slightly from it's position.

“I love you too, Falcon,” she said softly, sniffling as her eyes continued to sting.

It gave Falcon enough strength to pull open the car door and push himself inside. He didn’t dare look out the window to her until the taxi began moving, and for that, he didn’t think anything could have given him enough strength.

The image of Freya shrinking into the background sent a final dagger through his heart and a single tear escaped the confines of his eyes. He tilted his head back, closing his eyes and taking in a shuddering breath before letting it out through his nose.

The realisation that he had actually done it - that he wasn’t going to see her again for god knew how long - hit him like a sucker punch to the gut. He felt sick and half tempted to make the taxi driver turn back around.

But he knew why it had to be done. He knew why he had to do this.

To keep her safe. To keep himself safe. To secure a better future for the both of them. To secure a relationship between them and her father.

To gain back the identity that had been stolen from him.

To prove to himself that he wasn’t a bad person.

To prove to everyone that he was wasn’t a criminal.

To prove himself.

And that was what allowed him to arrive at the airport. To step out of the taxi. To board his plane. And to dream of that perfect life.

~🎀~

Watching Falcon leave was hard.

The hardest thing, Freya realised, she had ever had to do in her seventeen years of life. She prayed that this would be the first and last time she felt pain like that. She hated the constant pinpricks in her chest that had been the main culprit in convincing her that it would be easier to just curl up in bed and do nothing than accept the reality of what had happened.

She felt as if he had broken up with her, not as if he had just performed the grandest gesture of love that he could have. How could she when she had finally learned the physical definition of a heavy heart?

She felt as if it quite literally weighed her down and she breathed deeper because of it, desperate to lift the imaginary weight.

Freya felt her bed dip to one side, a familiar hand rest on her shoulder in a sign of motherly comfort.

"He's not gone forever, love," Kendra spoke softly, rubbing soothing circles on Freya's arm. "Time flies so quickly; he'll be back before you know it."

Freya took in a calming breath before shifting her head to see Kendra better. She paused for a moment, her eyes flickering towards the floor before answering.

"I know," she responded quietly. "I just miss him, is all."

Neither of them said anything for a moment, allowing the silence to speak for itself. Kendra let out a breath, shifting in her seat as she made a move to get up.

"Well," she sighed as she straightened up and held out a hand for Freya. "How about you help out in the kitchen, hm? Distract your mind a little."

Freya's interest peaked and she pushed herself into a seated position.

"Can we make sweet buns?" she tilted her head to the side in question.

Kendra let out a short laugh before nodding.

"Of course we can make some sweet buns, my love," she snorted to herself. "Come one, then."

Once Freya was out of bed, Kendra wrapped an arm around her shoulders, guiding her out of the room.

"Don't worry yourself about him," she pressed a kiss to Freya's temple. "He knows what he's doing. He can take care of himself."

In a way, that was exactly what she was afraid of.

She needed him, but he didn't need her.

She was afraid he'd finally realise it.