Realize

The moment his lips touched mine, everything became more apparent to me. It was as if when he kissed me, the doubts and apprehensions I was feeling melted away.

Every caress of her lips on my lips was so gentle. He was so gentle that I felt as if I were porcelain—fragile and delicate.

I kissed him back in the same manner. He suddenly stopped and leaned his forehead to mine.

“L-let's stop. I don’t want you to think that I am taking advantage of you because you are drunk,” he said with difficulty.

I frowned at him and put both my hands on his neck. "How many times have I told you that I'm not drunk?"

I heard him groan. “Fine. You are not drunk, so we better stop— “

I stopped what he was about to say with a kiss. “I don’t want to,” I whispered within our kisses.

He stopped me and stared into my eyes. “Don’t make this hard for me, please,” he begged.

"You're the only one who's torturing yourself." I heard him groan again because of what I said. “I’m tired of pretending I’m not affected by what you do to me, Nic. I’m tired of denying what I feel for you. ”

"W-what do you mean?" I saw him swallow the lump on his throat. I could even feel his nervousness.

I smiled at him and caressed his face. “I want to experience happiness again. And for the past months, you have made me happy. When you came, I was no longer sad. I don’t feel alone anymore either. ” I grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently. “I don’t believe in second chances, but if it’s with you, I’m willing to risk this time. You prove to me that you are worth the risk. I'm ready to gamble again, Nicholai. Hopefully, this time everything will be okay. ”

“Punch me. I think I am dreaming right now,” he said incredulously.

I chuckled and kissed him instead. "I love you, Nicholai."

There, I said it. I knew I had loved Nicholai before, and I was really stubborn to accept that. All along, I’ve been denying my feelings for him.

I just realized that with Nicholai, I could act like myself. Even if I hit him and whatever else I demanded, Nicholai always tended to it. Even if he complained, he would still give in to my whims. Which I never did when I was with Philip. With Philip, I was so formal and limited in demeanor. ‘I’m kind of afraid to do something wrong because I don’t want him to be disappointed in me.

Thinking about it made me realize that it actually felt good that you are with someone whom you can act as yourself without him minding it. That type of relationship where you won’t hesitate to show who you really are because he accepts you for what you really are. And I felt that with Nicholai.

I sighed as he hugged me tightly.

“Thank you! God! I love you so much! I will do everything to make everything right this time,” he sincerely said and then cupped my face. “I love you. I’m so in love with you,” he added with so much emotion, which almost made me tear up before crossing the distance of our lips.

The kiss we shared gradually became inquisitive and aggressive. Our hands were roaming each other’s body trying to feel each other. We moved so fast that I didn’t even realize we had no clothes left.

We stumbled on the couch while still kissing. Nicholai was hovering over me. We stopped kissing and just stared at each other. I swallowed hard when I felt something hard in my stomach.

Damn! Nicholai was hard as a rock, and he was freaking huge!

Nicholai was staring at me intensely. "Just tell me to stop now while I still can, Denima," he said seriously. His mouth was telling me to stop, but his eyes were telling the opposite. Even his body. He was hot all over.

Instead of answering him, I pressed my lower against him. I heard him groan because of what I did. His last straw of patience gave in and kissed me again deeply. The more his hand moved, I could feel the warmth in his palms every time he caressed me

His kisses descended on my neck until he traced the top of my chest.

I gasped when he licked one of my crowns and then sucked it. I twitched and moaned as he sucked on my crown. It was as if all of my hair stood up because of the sensation he was giving me.

When was the last time I felt like this? It has been too long, so I feel like I'm delusional, especially when I feel Nicholai's finger gradually entering my delicacy.

“Aaah! Fuck, Nic! ” I moaned loudly while gripping his hair. I couldn't stop it from coming out of my mouth.

My legs naturally parted, and my hips moved on their own while his finger was moving in and out of my core. I could even hear how wet I was down there.

I moaned again when he entered another finger while taking turns sucking my crown too. Gradually something formed in my abdomen. And I knew anytime, and it would explode.

Nicholai suddenly stopped sucking on my chest and moved down his kiss. I saw him smirk when he got face to face with my genitals. It was as if I had a fever because of the heat I felt, now, more than double. It's as if I'm fighting the heat.

My fluttering eyes widened when he slowly licked me down there.

“Aaaah! Shit, Nicholai ... S-stop…” I said weakly.

And when he entered his tongue inside my core, my eyes rolled down to its socket at the taste of it. A loud moan escaped from my mouth as I convulsed hard, reaching my peak.

I felt so weak after he made me feel good. Before I could even recover, I gasped when Nicholai suddenly inserted his long and hard manhood inside me.

“Fuck! You are so tight,” he muttered as he rammed in and out of me.

I clung to his arm as I watched his every move.

I was biting my lips as we moved on our rhythm. Nicholai stared at me with a lot of emotion in his eyes.

“I… love… you…” he said while moving in and out of me. His moves were getting faster and faster, which made me even crazier.

“N-Nic… I’m cumming,” I said wryly.

“Cum with me….”

We both cum intensely. I was suddenly stunned when he lifted me. I immediately wrapped my hand around his neck.

“Where are we going?” I asked tiredly.

“In your room. We are not finished, Denima. ” I swallowed hard by what he said. “We are far from that. We’ll do it ‘til morning. We will compensate for the two years that we wasted,” he added with a smirk on his face.

My eyes widened at what he said. Shit!