Chapter 83

Clara's POV

I stood there shocked, unresponsive, and unable to say anything.

I don't know what got to me, the fact that he said he loved me or that his lips were just an inch away from mine.

Was he in love with me? I didn't know whether to jump with joy or start weeping. This was the happiest moment in my life and the saddest because I knew this wouldn't last.

What was I going to do? Jump into his arms and confess my love for him, too? Maybe pushing him away would be safer for everyone.

The tense look he gave me made me feel worse. I couldn't lie and tell him I didn't love him with him looking at me with those eyes. I also couldn't tell him that I loved him when I knew I was hurting him more than anyone else. He sensed my hesitation.

"You don't need to say anything," Derek added as I felt him pull away. "I'll always be patient with you. I know you feel it with this thing between us and that it's not just in my head." He continued.

“Clara," Layla called out behind us. She grabbed both of our attention. She couldn't have shown up at a better time. "Could I steal her away for a moment?" she asked.

Derek looked at me for my approval, to which I nodded.

He then returned to the house. Layla waited until Derek was out of sight before we both settled on the bench.

She paused, taking a deep breath. "I know that look in your eye." Layla began. "I can say that I know you well enough to say that I'm sure that you desperately want to tell him the truth." She added.

"He told me he loved me, and I couldn't even say it back, knowing I've been lying to him this whole time," I whispered back to her.

"I know you probably think that I'm superficial and a horrible mother, and that may be partially true, but trust me, I do love him. Sure enough, I'm willing to take extreme measures sometimes, but that makes me a mother. I've never seen him happier than when he is with you. I know this whole thing may have started as a lie, but what I see between you two is very much real, and I know the truth will only hurt everyone." She added.

"How am I supposed to face him knowing I'm lying and getting his hopes up?" I nearly sobbed.

"This whole thing is my fault. I should never have asked you to lie about being pregnant. I shouldn't have hired that doctor or done any of that. I'll make sure that I'll get you out of this and that there won't be any more lies." She added.

She took my hand into hers, rubbing it gently.

"I should probably get back inside before someone hears us." She smiled.

She pulled away from me, left her seat, and returned to the house.

I was left alone with my thoughts. One thing was clear: I was utterly in love with Derek. I didn't mean to, but I fell in love with him deeply.

I wanted to be selfish and keep him and hope the truth never came out, but it wouldn't be fair.

But one thing was clear: you don't hurt those you love.

I nearly jumped from my shot, matching back into the house and then upstairs straight to my bedroom.

I wiggled under my bed to retrieve the letter I had written in the far corner.

It was now or never. There would never be the right moment to tell him. Things were only getting worse, and I didn't want to continue hurting him.

Hearing some noises outside the street, I looked out my window to find Derek outside our front gate. It appeared that he was in the middle of an intense phone call.

He looked agitated. His neat hair was messed up by his franticness as he kicked into the air.

What was he doing outside?

It must have been because of some business call, but I wouldn't keep making excuses for myself.

I sat on my bed, completing the letter in urgent and frantic handwriting.

After nearly fifteen minutes locked up in my room, I folded the letter back into its neat square. I took a deep breath. I was just about to undo the one thing I'd been trying to do for the last few weeks.

I walked downstairs on my way outside to meet him. Coincidentally, he just walked back into the house.

I froze on the spot, unable to form a sentence. Coincidentally, he didn't say anything either. I couldn't read his face.

"Are you okay?" I finally managed to ask. "You seemed upset earlier," I added.

"It's just work," he answered defensively.

He wasn't in a good mood. Whatever it was, it had riled him up. "Well, I have something to tell you." I began.

I quickly grab his hand, placing the letter in it before changing my mind. "I think it is better if you read it. I will probably start stuttering, and then I will never be able to get the words out." I rumbled.

He stared at the page in his hand, clueless, before placing it in his pocket.

"Don't tell me the two of you were together," Layla interjected. "We should go home before you start making me a grandchild." She laughed.

"Oh wait, they already did that," Mom added.

They both laughed like lunatics. This was the first time I'd seen my mom under the influence.

This was some way to embarrass your children.

I felt my legs shake at the thought of Derek reading that letter. Had I made the right decision?

I couldn't continue to lie to him, but I'm not sure if I was ready for the consequences either. Especially knowing I'd lose him.

We all said our goodbyes soon after. All the while, I couldn't stop thinking about how easy it would be to slip my hands into his pockets and steal back the letter, but I didn't.

I waited at the front door as they drove away. This may be the last time I see them.

"Why do you look like you just did something stupid?" Katy asked, drawing me out of my thoughts.

"He had to know," I answered. I walked past her to return to my bedroom.

I'm pretty sure tomorrow I'll be the most hated person in the world.