27 - ALARICAS | iBookHub

The storm didn't go away at all, it only got worse. My head was hurting like hell, I was a crying mess, and I was defeated. I knew what I did was wrong, but I had no control over my wolf.

Does Alaricas truly think I'm that heartless? I was there for him since we found him. I focused on him the whole time, ignoring my fears of him hitting me, of losing him forever, of thunderstorms, and being hated. Now all those fears came true. The most painful one though, isn't him hitting me. No, it's him just so easily hating me.

I cried harder, he probably didn't love me at all. He probably hated me the whole time, but his wolf just wanted me closer. I wrapped my arms around myself and looked at the wall.

It was stained with mt blood, I lost control of my wolf twice and clawed at the walls. The palms of my hands were sore and bloody. Half my face was covered in blood, it was also stuck in my hair. My body had claw marks from myself, I have no idea why I clawed myself. Leave it up to my wolf to do that.

I froze when the cell door swung open, I didn't look up. I already knew it was Alaricas by his scent. When he came closer, I flinched and tried blending in with the wall.

He didn't say anything, all he did was watch me. I clenched my jaw as I felt the need to cough. If I cough, I'll cough up blood. I clawed myself that deep and for some reason, I'm not healing.

"Jolene, I-

"I didn't mean to, I-I lost control. Sh-she attacked me...I didn't mean to. I just shifted...I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I sobbed.

He walked towards me, but stopped when I cried harder.

"Don't. Please....no more." I whimpered.

"Jo, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to take you to the infirmary." He said softly.

He doesn't love you.

I kept telling myself this as I looked at him. He seemed guilty, but looks can be deceiving.

"N-no...I'm safe here." I whispered.

"From what?"

Everything.

I woke up with a gasp, I was still in the cell, my head was still pounding, but the claw marks weren't on me. My hands were bloody and burning from clawing at the wall all night.

I felt empty as I sat in the corner, the thunderstorm didn't even scare me. I looked up when a man walked in with a tray.

He gave me a disgusted look, "I can't believe you, our Luna, is a murderer." He spat before leaving.

I stared at the food, but I wasn't hungry. I turned onto my side, away from the food. I closed my eyed as I fell asleep again.

When I woke up again, Alaricas was leaning against the opposite wall. I didn't look at him for long, I just turned my back to him. I smiled a bit when I remembered how he turned his back to me so I would kiss him. I wish he still loved me.

It was quiet for a while, I silently watched as the blood dripped off my hands. My head was healing, but the pain won't go away for a while.

Why can't he be the Alaricas in my dream?

"Eat." He ordered.

I still didn't look at him, "I'm not hungry."

"You didn't eat since yesterday, eat."

"Why do you care? Oh, wait, you don't. You just can't have your toy dying. You can permanently free from me." I whispered.

I allowed my nail to turn to a claw and looked at his mark on me. Tears rolled down my cheeks.

"All I have to do is slice an x over this...and poof. You'll be free to have sex with anyone you want." I whispered.

"Now we're going with the cheating thing again?" He snapped.

"No. It's not cheating, we're no longer together."

"I never accepted the rejection."

"How come? You don't love me, so why waste the time?" I asked.

I then laughed, all the humor was gone.

"How could you love me? I'm a murderer. Oh, he gave you the fake document. Call my dad for the real one. If I could of controlled my wolf at the time, I wouldn't have killed her." I blurted out.

My vision swam as I started to fall asleep. I tried getting up, to stop myself from passing out, but I fell. I slammed my head on the ground again and welcomed the darkness.

Alaricas

As soon as she hit the ground I ran over. She managed to crack her head open again, but it wasn't as big this time. I gently cradled her against my chest.

As I studied her I felt horrible, I did this to her. I already know I ruined her, my beautiful strong mate is now helpless. I ran out of the dungeons and into the infirmary.

I watched as they wheeled her away, yelling out orders. I ran my hand through my hair before leaving. I need to find out the truth.

I reached my office and slammed the door shut. I paced back and forth for a bit, I can't believe I did this. There's no excuse. I just hurt her again, there's no demon this time. I did this to her.

She's not the monster, I am.

I snatched the phone and dialed her father's number. I need to know the truth.

"Hello?" He answered after the third ring.

I took a deep breath, "This is Alaricas. Um...Jolene killed a female rogue when she was sixteen. What uh...what happened?"

He was silent for a moment, "Jolene was a newly shifted wolf, she was just learning to control it. Adding the fact she has alpha blood in her, it was very difficult. She has an usually strong wolf, she had even shifted early."

"Anyways, the rogue randomly attacked her. Jolene tried running, but the woman wouldn't stop. So, her wolf took control and tried making the woman submit. She didn't, so, she did what she had to do. She killed her."

"Jolene felt horrible about it for months. She did get better, but even today she hates herself for it. She calls herself a murderer. It's best not to bring that up around her."

"Thank you." I whispered.

I destroyed her.

"Is everything okay over there? Why were you asking anyway?" He questioned.

"Someone brought it up and it just hurt us. Thank you."

"Alaricas."

"Yes, sir?"

"If you hurt my daughter...I will kill you."

I gulped, "Yes, sir."

After I hung up I sighed and sat in my chair. I groaned and banged my head on my desk until small drops of blood were sitting on the dark wood.

I bit my lip as I made a decision that will fuck me up.

I walked into the waiting room and sat down. A nurse asked if I wanted something for my head, but I told her no. This is nothing compared to Jolene.

Once she was finally out if surgery, the doctor walked out. She gave me a disgusted look, but I deserved it.

When I walked into the room, Jolene looked at me with fear. I wanted to walk up and kiss her. To tell her that I love her, but she won't believe me. Why would she? I certainly didn't act like I loved her.

"Why are you here?" She asked.

I swallowed, "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Right." She scoffed. "You're probably here to finish the job. Are you sure it was the demon that abused me seven months ago?"

I clenched my jaw, I deserve this. All of this.

"How can I make it up to you?" I whispered.

"Accept the rejection." She stated.

I looked down and took a shaky breath. If it'll make her happy, then I have to do it. She'll be safe. She can find someone who won't hurt her.

I'm just the type of guy who can't love the right way and doesn't deserve any in return. None of this would happen if Jefferson killed me.

"I, Alaricas Cain, accept your rejection." I stated.

She winced and turned her nail into a claw, I closed my eyes and waited for the pain.

It sliced through me slowly, I eventually fell. It took five minutes for it to stop and when it did, my mark was no longer on her body.

"I'm sorry." I croaked before leaving.