Chapter 42

~Alistair~

Sam threw a punch into the wall, in frustration, but immediately, he regretted doing so, as he yelped in pain, while I sat with my legs crossed on a rocking chair, laughing at him.

He had approached me, saying that he needed me to teach him how to control his transformation. Just like how he had remained a wolf for ten years without the ability to change, he bad been a human being for a month without the ability to switch between being a wolf and a human being.

“You know, you could teach me how to control my transformation, instead of sitting on a rocking chair like a grandfather suffering from dementia, and laughing for no reason,” He said, his voice laced with annoyance.

A smirk played around my lips. “Talking to me in that manner isn’t going to help you. In fact, I can’t help you. Like I’ve already said millions of times, you are the only one capable of controlling your transformation,” I explained.

“Then, teach me how to do that. Didn’t anyone teach you?” Sam asked.

I grinned. “Well, I was just seven years old and needed help, you know. At first, it was pretty hard and whenever I was getting angry, and on the verge of losing it, I’d just say: ‘Changing would only make things worse. Control yourself.’ On the day of a full moon though, that was impossible to do. I always disappeared from school or from my house, and go deep into the forest, then I'd chain myself to a tree, which I eventually will break out of, but by then, hours would have passed, and I’d be far from home, unable to hurt anyone.

“When my parents noticed I was always disappearing on a particular day of the month, they brought guards to watch over me, so, instead, I just started locking myself in the basement, before which I’d take an overdose if sedatives, putting me to sleep,” I explained.

“How did you learn how to control your transformation then?” He asked.

“I came across the owner of a shopping mall, and instantly, we identified each other as werewolves. He heard my whole story, understood my dilemma and became my teacher. However, he’d always say I was the only one capable of controlling it and there was nothing he could do about it. That statement irked me a lot...”

“And now, you’re doing the same thing to your student as a means of payback. Incredible!” Sam said, interrupting me.

I shrugged. “I am just trying to be the best teacher there is. Why do you even want to be able to switch between being a human being and a wolf? You haven’t told me that yet. I mean, shouldn’t you be happy that you’re now fully human eating pizza and sandwiches, instead of running around looking for deer whilst covered in fur?” I asked.

“I heard about what happened to Eliana. She saved my life, and I’m scared that if anything ever happens to her and I’m unable to do anything about it, I’d never forgive myself,” He replied.

“So, what you’re trying to say is that you’re doing this because of Eliana?” I asked.

“Not necessarily. I wanted to be powerful and come to you, asking for how I could become a wolf if I wanted to, but I was having second thoughts about it. What happened to Eliana only confirmed that I should do just that,” He said.

I heaved a sigh. “Trying to trigger your abilities won’t solve your problems, but I’ll help you out if you truly aren’t happy with being just human. I just hope you don’t regret it in the future,” I said.

“I am definitely not going to regret it,” He told me, wearing a sly smile.

“What you must know, Sam, is that you need an anchor; someone or something that can provide you with emotional stability. It may be a feeling or an object, or even a human being. Think of who you can help with your abilities and become a werewolf, think of who you don’t want to hurt and become human again. That’s the logic, and you must retain that reasoning each and every time, even when you are about to explode. Trust me; that’s the only way you can survive as a werewolf living in the human world,” I said.

“You could have explained it this way all along. What took you so long? If I may ask, what do you think of when you want to control your transformation?” Sam asked.

I shrugged. “I control my transformation with the fear of being alone again. After my pack banished me, I was alone for about three months, and I don’t want to get that feeling ever again, so, I just think that if I transform in a public place because I’m angry or something, everyone will look at me like I’m this sort of monster, and I’d be forced to leave the human world which I’ve come to appreciate. On the other hand, if someone is in danger and I can’t save the person’s life, the person will taken away from me, and it’ll cause this ache in my heart and I’ll be alone again. Either way, loneliness scares me, and I use that as my anchor,” I explained.

“So, I basically have to think of something that will keep me sane, isn’t it?” He asked, with an understanding look written on his face.

I nodded my head, in the affirmative.

He heaved a sigh, then closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on what he wanted to do. His fists were clenched, and all of a sudden, he released one of them, and what I saw weren’t fingernails; they were claws.

“You did it!” I exclaimed.

He opened his eyes, which were now glowing, and beamed with happiness on seeing his claws, which he had controlled into coming out.

“Now, take the claws back,” I said.

He closed his eyes once more. After a brief moment, the claws sunk back in and his fingernails were revealed, and when he did open his eyes, they weren’t glowing anymore.

“You did it,” I said, excitedly.

“Well, I was only able to do it because I had such an awesome teacher,” He said, smiling.

“There’s no need to be so modest, Sam,” I said.

“With time, I’ll be able to do it without particularly closing my eyes, right?” He asked.

“No one asked you to close your eyes in the first place,” I retorted.

“You mean that I can control my transformation at my own will now?” He asked.

“Not really. You have to be as focused and concentrated as you were now, but do not despair, you’ll be able to control it at your own will soon. Practice makes perfect, don’t you agree?” I asked, with a wink.

“You’re absolutely correct,” He said.

“What’s going through your mind?” I asked, sensing that something was wrong somewhere.

He shrugged. “I’m just worried about the fact that I could turn to a full wolf when it’s the full moon,” He said.

“You’re not going to turn into anything. Just don’t let your emotions get too heightened. For instance, if you have an issue with someone you’d like to kill, don’t see them that day, because when the moon is at its peak, you can hardly control transforming into a half-wolf, talk more of becoming a full wolf. However, unlike before, it won’t be your permanent form. You’ll become a human being again when the sun comes up,” I explained.

“Wow. Thank you. I have to ask, have you ever turned into a wolf...like a full wolf?” He asked.

“Even when I was a kid, I never for once transformed into a full wolf, and I don’t think I ever will,” I replied.

“Do you struggle with transforming on the full moon?” He asked.

I shook my head, in negativity. “No. Oh! Except on the day I met with Eliana. She took my breath away, and I could hardly control even kissing her right there and then,” I said, wearing a nostalgic smile as old memories came into play.

“You guys kissed on the same day you met?” Sam inquired, becoming suddenly interested in the topic.

I nodded my head. “Yes, we did. Feelings were all over the place and my emotions got heightened. We were kissing and the full moon did its thing. I inflicted claw injuries on her backside, and if anyone had told me she was still going to pay me any attention after that day, I’d have said that the person was a liar. Since I learnt how to take control of my transformation, even on a full moon, that was the only time I ever lost control. She made me lose control, and she’s made me into a different person. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but I do love her,” I said.

Sam nodded his head, sitting on one of the chairs in the gazebo, where I had been sitting as well. “I know you love her, but what if she doesn’t have feelings for you?” He asked.

“I’m sure she does have feelings for me. If she was lying, I’d know. What I’m not sure of is if you have feelings for her, which begs the question, who did you make your anchor today?” I asked, drumming my fingers on the table.

A smirk played around his lips. “How are you sure it’s a ‘who’?” He retorted.

“There was something in the way you behaved, and I could sense your mood was that of longing and love. Do you love Eliana, and do you long for her?” I asked.

He swallowed. “I’m sorry, Alistair. I still love Eliana, and trust me, it’s not my fault that I do. I have no control of the way I feel. As you rightly said, you lost control when you saw Eliana, even though it was the first time. We are all weak and defenceless when it comes to matters of the heart, and I hope you can understand,” He said.

I heaved a deep and thoughtful sigh. I knew quite all right that I wasn’t to get angry at him, but I also knew that it wasn’t his fault that he still had feelings for the same girl he had loved since he was a child, and even if he did try, he couldn’t control how he felt about her.

“I know it’s not your fault, Sam, but try to move on, okay? I love Eliana, and I’m sure that her happiness is all that matters to you, and you’re less concerned about if she loves you or not,” I said.

“You are correct, Alistair, and I have no intention of coming in between both of you. I’ve seen how much you love and care for her, and I’m okay as long as Eliana is okay,” Sam said.

“Thank you,” I said, with a half-smile.

“You’re welcome, but I have a question. Should you find out that Eliana and I were romantically involved with each other, what would you do about it?” He asked.

“I’ll rip your heart out, after asking you to say your last prayers,” I responded.

“And what would happen to the woman who betrayed you?” He asked.

I scoffed. “She’ll regret the day she was born,” I vowed.

“Will you finally end things with her?” Sam inquired.

I guffawed. “Why are you asking all these questions? If you think Eliana will do something to betray me and that would make me leave her, so that you can finally get to be with her, you’re absolutely wrong. Eliana would never do anything to hurt me, and I’m willing to bet my life on that fact,” I said, smiling mischievously.

“Relax, Alistair, I just only wanted to get your reaction. You know, trust is the most important thing in a relationship. I wanted to know if you trust my friend as much as you loved her, just to know if you’re truly the right person for her,” Sam said.

“And am I the right person for her?” I asked.

He smiled. “I don’t know. You just might be the right person for her,” He said.

“Well, I’m not worried,” I told him, with a shrug.

However, even as I said those words, worry clung onto a tiny part of me, which was buried deep within me. What if I actually wasn’t the right person for her? They say what’s yours always finds its way back to you. Maybe Sam was actually meant for her, and that’s why the universe had brought him back to her. I was worried that she was his anchor into controlling his transformation, and it was even more scary that I knew I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if Eliana ever betrayed me and had anything to do with Sam.

I shook my head, brushing aside those thoughts. Eliana had chosen me, and it wasn’t even fair to think for one second that she would ever betray the trust I had in her. Even if Sam was the one meant for her, together, we were going to rewrite fate.