Chapter 75

~Alistair~

After finding out the whole truth, I had been feeling terribly sad and annoyed with myself. Although Eliana told me she had forgiven me, it was hard to actually forgive myself, because not only had I hurt her for something she didn’t do, I had hurt her family as well for something they had nothing to do with.

I had actually thought they were also monsters, and I had no idea that they were separated from the exact family that had hurt mine. I had killed one of them after the death of my parents, and that should have been more than enough for me. Why did I have to go ahead and decide to carry out my revenge? What had I hoped to gain? Vengeance only did more harm than good, and I should have been wise enough to just let things go and let sleeping dogs lie.

I was lying in my bed, and the thoughts which had clouded my mind for the past two days kept on going through my head. I had missed work and I didn’t even have the courage to face anyone yet. I needed some time to think, and I just wished that things could go back to how they used to be six years ago, before all this trouble started.

It was then that I remembered my life had always been filled with troubles. I needed experienced what it was to be cared for and given attention by my parents, I watched them take their last breath, I was put on exile, I struggled to contain my werewolf abilities at the young age of seven, my foster relatives hated me, I lost my foster parents, I was fooled into betraying the woman I have only ever loved, I was betrayed by my best friend, I was on the verge of a mental breakdown, my son hated me, I suffered threats while running the company, and now, I discovered that I had had my petty revenge on the wrong people.

My life was one hell of a tragic story, and I was tired of living it. I even forgot for a moment about the impending doom that was going to befall me and the rest of my pack very soon. I was so tired and I felt so empty. It was as though the universe wished that I hadn’t been born, and was trying everything in its power to make my life worse than it already was.

I should have never been born. There was nothing else to live for, and I was so done with living. Perhaps, I would find peace in the afterlife. Maybe I should just take my gun, and send a bullet straight into my head. I wanted a quick death, and if the ground couldn’t open up to swallow me whole, I just wanted to be erased from existence.

My eyes caught sight of the toy car Ian had forgotten at my place. I had left it on one of the drawers with the hope or returning it back to him, and now, it stared at me like it was trying to speak to me. Tears slid down my face as the memories of my little boy flooded my mind. No! I couldn’t possibly be having suicidal thoughts...at least, not now.

I still had something to live for. I had to live for the sake of my son, I had to live to save my pack, I had to live so as to not leave Duke Group in the wrong hands, I had to live to apologise to Eliana’s parents, and I definitely had to live to win Eliana back into my life.

It had taken a while, but I finally realised that even though my life all seemed so sad, I had had quite a few happy times, and the best times I had had in life had been with Eliana. She had thought me how to love, how to be happy even when the world was threatening to fall apart, how to have fun. She had also taught me the meaning of loyalty, trust, forgiveness and patience.

After all these years, she was still the reason I wanted to hold on instead of giving up, she was the reason I wanted to push forward even though fate seemed to have other things in store for me, and I knew everything will be back to normal if I could just have her back in my life. She was all I wanted, and all I needed to feel okay once again.

Standing up from my bed which I hadn’t left in days, I walked to pick up the toy car, and rolled the tyres with my fingers. Ian still needed me, and I wasn’t going to just walk away from his life like a coward. Remembering the mantra I had given him, I began to speak to myself:

“I have nothing to fear, I have nothing to lose, I have nothing to prove. So, now, who do I choose to be?” I kept on repeating it, till I felt better about everything.

Heaving a deep sigh, I began to answer the question. “I choose to be a better man, a better friend, a better boss, a better lover, and a better father,” I said, looking in the mirror.

Wearing a smile, I placed the toy car back on the drawer, and stepped into the bathroom, where I brushed my teeth and cleaned up myself nicely in the shower. I trimmed my beards, applied cologne and body cream, after which I put on a black suit, and checked out how I looked in the mirror.

I still looked very much handsome, and not like someone who had been crying for two days like a teenager who got his first heartbreak, without brushing, eating or bathing. I wasn’t going to give in to depression, and like someone once said, “Happiness is free". I was choosing happiness, positivity, love, and I was also choosing to forgive myself. No one was above making mistakes, and I wasn’t perfect, but a work in progress.

I picked up the toy car from the drawer, and was about to leave the house when I remembered that there was something in the house which also didn’t belong to me. I took it from a jewellery box, and walked out of the house, after making sure the door was locked.

Like the previous two days, I had instructed Mr Coleman not to show up at my residence, and couldn’t begin to call him to drive me around when he must have already made other plans for himself. Therefore, I unlocked my blue Range Rover, and got into the car, closing the door gently behind me.

Ian’s school was closing soon, and I was sure he was pissed that I hadn’t kept my word by coming to see him on the first day of school. I was determined to drive faster than I ever had in the past just to get to my son’s school, meet his mother, and become the better man that I hoped to be.

Few minutes into driving, there was an incoming call from Garrett, and I picked it up.

“Where the hell are you?” He asked, as soon as the call had been received.

“What kind of question is that?” I retorted.

“You were supposed to be here about forty five minutes ago. Didn’t you schedule another meeting with the advertisement team today? They are all waiting, and trust me when I tell you that they are growing more and more impatient. Some have been saying in hushed tones that they want to quit, because you’re way too overbearing,” He informed.

I scoffed. “Then, let them quit. I have thousands of applications from people who are willing to work with us. They can go for all I care,” I said, wearing a sly smirk that no one could see behind the car’s tinted glass.

“Alistair, surely, you don’t mean that,” Garrett said.

“I do mean that,” I said, reaffirming what I had previously said.

“When will you be here?” He asked.

“I can’t answer that question right now, G. I’m presently on my way to Ian's school, and I’d like to take him for a treat, so, perhaps, I’ll be there in two hours,” I said.

“Alistair!” Garrett yelled.

My side eye saw the toy car, which was resting on the passenger seat, and I slammed the steering wheel in frustration, remembering that I had promised and chosen to be a better boss to my staff.

“You know what? Just evaluate their proposal and presentation on my behalf, and feel free to either accept or reject it,” I said, increasing my speed limit.

“Do you seriously mean that?” He asked, with his voice expressing how shocked he was.

“Yes, I do. I don’t think I’ll be showing up to work today, I have a catching up to do with my family,” I told him.

“I think you’ve once again returned to your senses, Alistair. Remember that women love it when you compliment them. Good luck,” Garrett said.

I chuckled, and then, the line went dead.

I was able to get to Ian’s school just as soon as the bell for the closing period went, and I drove into the school’s compound, then took out the toy car and the other thing which wasn’t mine, before alighting from the car.

I had the intention of going to pick up Ian from his classroom, but just then, I saw him walking out, with his hand placed in his mother’s hand, as they laughed and chatted about something that had happened in class just today.

He was able to sense that someone was staring at him, and when he looked to see who it was, his eyes met mine. Unlike what I had expected, he left his mother and ran to meet me. I had never expected that he was going to be so excited to see me, and I saw a smile appear on Eliana’s face, as he ran into my arms.

I caught him in my arms, and lifted him very high, tickling him at the same time, which made him laugh out loud, before I decided to put him down. Spending a full day with him had worked to change his mind about me after all, and also, it was most likely that Eliana had put in a word for me.

“I expected you two days ago,” He said.

“I’m so sorry, I have been so busy,” I told him.

“Will you take me to your office someday? I used to go to mum’s workplace all the time in Canada,” He said.

I nodded my head, in the affirmative. “I’ll take you to my companies, Ian, not just my office. Your father is a wealthy man who has several companies, and someday, you’ll be the one to manage everything,” I said to him.

“Really?” He asked.

“Really,” I affirmed.

“I can’t wait for that to happen,” He said, grinning from ear to ear.

“That’s going to take a very long time, Ian,” Eliana said, walking slowly towards us.

“Hey,” I said, smiling at her.

“Hey,” She said.

“Isn’t that mine?” Ian asked, pointing at the toy in my hands.

“You left it at my place, and I wanted to return it to you,” I answered, handing it over to him.

“Thanks,” He said, as he collected it.

“So, how are you feeling?” Eliana asked.

“Honestly, after that day, I’ve been feeling really down, and I haven’t even been myself, but I just stumbled upon Ian’s toy car, and realised that there’s more to life than moping around. No matter how sad or regretful I am, it still wouldn’t change what happened, and it’s a mistake I figured out that I have to live with. I want to be there for my son, Eliana, and I also want to be there for you. I won’t let my past mistakes dissuade me from living up to my responsibilities,” I explained to her.

She shot a warm smile in my direction. “You’re back to being the Alistair I once knew. If you keep this up, I just might fall in love with you,” She said.

I chuckled. “I hope you do,” I said.

She didn’t say anything, and just smiled.

“Um... I wanted to give this to you,” I said, giving her the jewellery box, that contained what I felt belonged to her.

“What’s this?” She asked, opening the box, and when she saw its content, she opened her mouth in surprise, with her eyes nearly popping out of their sockets.

“I took it from Sam, and he lied about how he had gotten it. I know that I would never be able to go back in time and change what happened, but I felt that it still belongs to you and it was never mine to take, so, that’s why I am returning it to you,” I said.

“I don’t know if I must have given you the wrong impression when I said that I have forgiven you. My forgiveness doesn’t mean that...”

“...we are back together, I know,” I said, completing the sentence, then I continued. “However, it doesn’t change the fact that you are my son’s mother, and that means you’re still family. It’s my family’s heirloom, and I think...no, I know that it is now yours to have, since you are the mother of my firstborn son,” I said.

She smiled, and closed the box, then kept it in her bag. “Thank you. I promise not to be careless with it this time around,” She said.

“You can do with it as you please, and I promise not to complain. It’s yours now after all, and even if you decide to misplace it, I wouldn’t get mad or feel bad about it,” I said.

“Well, I would feel bad. I won’t be careless with it, because I also intend to pass it down to my son’s wife or baby mama someday,” She said, wearing her ever warm and beautiful smile.

“Dad, can we go get ice cream?” Ian suddenly blurted out, obviously tired of standing under the sun, and in need of something to cool him down.

However, it wasn’t his request that had made me puzzled. It was the fact that for the first time, he called me dad.

My son called me dad.

He finally recognised me as his father, and that was more than enough reason to keep on living, even though my life was more miserable than the lives of many other people.