Shadows and Revelations

Chapter 35

Dorothy, sometimes I cannot handle the pain. I feel like I'm drowning in an endless sea of pain.

I would give anything to be in your smell and to look into your deep, dark eyes while you cast me insensitive glances. Although I have a lot of regrets, I intend to right my wrongs.

I love you,

Ronaldo.

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Lucia Lorenzo's POV

It was the Lunar Glow's day. The exhilaration in my heart last night kept me up until past midnight. I was excited to see the dress I was given, but first I had to go to a spa day with the other Lunas.

When my phone rings, I check who sent me a message by entering my passcode.

Greg: Where is Lucia right now? Is my cousin mistreating you?

Lucia: I'm doing well, and he's being his regular grouchy self.

Greg: I'll be watching everything live online and can't wait to see your photos from the Glow.

In the three years I was in Italy, the nation had become home. I missed Lake Tahoe the most. I hadn't jogged through the woods or simply sat by a lake admiring the beauty that nature had to offer in such a long time. When I came home, I made a self-promise to myself that I would spend some time in nature.

When someone knocked on my door, I saw a strange face.

"Hello! From the Moonlight Pack, I'm Hellen."

I thought for a moment, bringing to mind who she was. Although I hadn't met her, I observed the attendees so that I would be ready for anything.

She was the madam of the group and, from what I've heard, a skilled mixed martial artist with a delicate demeanor. Her eyes regarded me warily as her dark, raven hair fell to her hips. Her purpose for being here was to get information about me, not to have a casual conversation.

"From the Blood Moon Pack, I'm Lucia. I'm glad to have met you! I told her, purposefully leaving out the information that I am aware of, "I've heard about your talented kung fu moves, Luna Hellen."

She smiles and replies, "Thank you. I was there at one of your races. You're a very fast runner."

"Thank you; I've been practicing all my life," I say.

"Well, I came here to ask if you would like to walk down to the spa room with me."

"That sounds amazing," I reply. I shut the door behind me after grabbing my suitcase.

"So, Lucia, it must be weird, right?"

"Excuse me?"

"You know, talk about awkward—being mated to your twin's mate."

I swallow my shame and clench my jaw. She's surprising me by being so direct, but it does make me appreciate her a little. Since Mirabel and Blaine were so open about their relationship, it was inevitable that people would have questions, but I'm still surprised.

"Hmm, I suppose it is, but we are all overcoming it," I reply. Was it accurate? Not really. We were just brushing the issue under the rug rather than truly conquering it.

"Well, being a Luna is a big responsibility, and I think you are perfect for the job," she replies. I grinned. Hearing that, especially from Hellen Jaden, is comforting.

That's meaningful, I told her.

"I don't wish to disrespect you, but I didn't think your sister could pull off the Luna role. She told me she worries too much about her appearance. In regards to the image, I concur with her. Although Mirabel has always been very concerned with what other people think of her, I still believe that she would have made a fine Luna.

"Mirabel had the qualities of a good Luna despite her small flaws," I argue.

"Perhaps, but a Luna will never be successful if she cares about other people's opinions," she replies. I ask her to go into further detail.

"When I first met my mate's pack, they were wary of me," she recalls.

"I was a stranger, and there weren't many Japanese members in his pack, and I felt as if I did not belong because I knew what they thought of me."

"One day, a nearby pack assaulted us while my friend was gone on a business trip. For directions, everyone looked to the beta, but I knew it was my responsibility to ensure the safety of my pack. I gave certain commands, but it was evident that nobody was interested in following them. I was their Luna, so they had to."

"Many lives were saved that day by my orders. Nobody was harmed, and I deserved to be here. I never once considered what other people might think of me. Since leaders don't think like that, all you can do is maintain your ground since someone will always disagree with you, no matter what you say."

"So you are saying you do not see these qualities in my sister?" I inquire. She chuckles. Her head leans back, causing her lips to draw forward and her eyes to wrinkle. Because of how black her hair is, the tight bun she has on practically seems blue in the light.

"Your sister, sweetheart, is the complete opposite of what a Luna ought to be. Being Luna is not her function; everyone in their pack has a role."

"What's the point of you telling me all this?"

"I want you to understand that there's a reason Blaine and you are friends. Give up on this silly idea that you two can be partners and live apart."

"How can you be so sure?"

To be honest, I agree with her perspective, but I'm curious as to why.

"I lost my partner of three years." Every day I feel like something is missing, that something isn't right, and that I feel incomplete. It's him. He isn't present. I will never see him again since he is forever gone."

I'm sorry for this woman. I want to put my arms around her and give her even a brief moment of comfort since the agony is so evident on her face.

Her tearful eyes meet mine, and her words freeze me in terror.

"It seems like every breath I take is forced at times. It feels as though my soul is halfway to him, even though I'm still in this body. Lucia, don't waste your time. I wish I had heard that from someone when I was younger, like you, Luna."

Her statements have left me so taken aback that I don't even wonder how she knows that things between Blaine and me are tumultuous.

Occasionally, I ponder. I wonder if we'll ever be the kind of partners who genuinely adore one another.

Usually, it's when I laugh with Blaine or when I consider how he only ever expresses emotion when he's around me or his father.

Occasionally, it's when he stares at me as though he would burn down the earth to be with me one more instant.

That's something else I've observed. When I read, Blaine would just sit in the same room. Even if I can take care of myself just fine, he will watch me while I go for my runs. When we were teenagers, he would occasionally just sit in the living room with me and watch a movie at the pack house. Even though we never spoke or engaged in any kind of interaction, those times are what I remember about us.

I then consider the other recollections.

The ones where Blaine and Mirabel's grunts reverberated through the home while my parents were away on a business trip. The ones where, when I was a youngster, he would make sure I was left out of every party game.

I don't think that's what scares me the most, but Blaine takes douchebaggery to a whole new level.

She always surpasses the one who paralyzes me with terror. I've spent my entire life living under my sister's shadow, and I'm not going to live that way any longer.

Forget Hellen and her counsel. I don't feel lacking in anything. Blaine, or anyone else for that matter, I don't need.

Let's head to the spa and join the rest of the Lunas, Hellen," I said as I turned to leave.