26

"Tana?" Alejandro asked again after I still hadn't said anything. Dios, I was bloody scared. A wet veil formed before my eyes. "Alejandro," my voice was nothing more than a breath. "Cayetana, what's going on?" he asked, his tone growing concerned. I swallowed the huge lump in my throat before I felt a tear run down my cheek.

How many tears did I have left? "Can you pick me up? Please?" I sobbed. "Tell me where and I'll be right there!" he said. I heard something rustling in the background, probably his keys. I told Ale where I was and we hung up. I hope he wasn't too worried. And I also hoped that it wouldn't be too bad for me.

A chill ran down my spine just thinking about the fact that I have to talk to my father later. "Fuck!" I hissed, tearing my hair.

"How could I be so stupid?" I whimpered while the tears flowed freely. I really wonder how you can hang out with someone and tell them the blue sky just to get information. How can he give a fuck what we had? Or how can he be so bold and still lie to my face.

"I really fell in love with you. Damn, I love you with every fiber of my being! And if I could, I would undo it."

That I don't laugh! Does he seriously think I would buy that from him? Did he really think I was that stupid?

My heartbeat abruptly quickened again when I saw Ale's scale drive from afar. I bit my trembling lower lip nervously. My family will hate me. Alejandro will hate me.

As soon as the car stopped, the car door was opened. I stood up automatically when I saw Ale walking towards me. And without saying anything, he took me in his arms. He put his hand on the back of my head and he wanted to stroke my back with the other soothingly, but stopped when he hit the metal of the gun. He moved her a little away from me and looked at me while he slid his hand to my back again and pulled the gun from my waistband. "What the hell," escaped him and he looked perplexed at the gun that was now in his hand.

"I screwed up, Ale," I murmured under the breath. "Big crap," a tear escaped me again. Alejandro's eyes widened and I'm sure he's thinking completely wrong now. "Let's get in the car first," he said in a calm tone, putting his hand on my back. He gently guided me to the car. After we sat in the car he looked at me questioningly.

"Did you jem-" "God no!" I snapped at him. Did he seriously think I killed someone? Relief spread across Alejandro's face. He picked up the gun again and studied it. "It's not one of ours. Where did you get it from?" he asked. "Ángel," I replied, croaking. My voice was gone.

For the moment there was silence and Ale still didn't drive off. Eventually he turned to me. "Would you like to tell me what happened, princesa?" he asked softly. I swallowed hard, took a deep breath and gathered all my courage. "Domenico, he ripped me off," I said hoarsely. "I really messed up yesterday. Big, big shit. You know, part of the time I was so annoyed with your drug handovers and stuff because nobody had time for me. Well, I told Domenico that. I told him too much. When I woke up this morning he wasn't lying next to me I thought he had already gone to breakfast and then I left his room and then I overheard him and his father talking at the banister and it was all a lie . Domenico was playing me the whole time just to get information. I just met him too, hence the gun. He insists that he really fell in love with me and that he would undo it if he could, but I don't believe a word he says anymore. And if I hadn't overheard the conversation, then......fuck, I'd have you all on my conscience." The words just shot out of me. I watched Alejandro's facial expression with a racing heart. Undefinable.

Suddenly he took his eyes off me and started the engine. I looked at him in surprise. "Don't you want to say anything about that?" No Answer. "Alejandro, please say something. Yell at me and tell me how much you hate me, how stupid I am-" "Shut up!" he said dangerously quietly. I swallowed the fat lump that had just formed in my throat and looked silently out of the windshield.

The silence in the car drove me crazy. Can he please reply to that? I don't know what to make of the reaction. A surprising squeak escaped my lips when Alejandro suddenly stopped. I didn't even notice he pulled over.

After taking a short breath, he slowly looked at me. Fear overcame me. "So you're all serious about telling me right now that I kept your relationship with that motherfucker just for me so you could be screwed and spill it all?" His voice wasn't loud, but you could tell immediately that he was angry. "I thought I could trust him," I said quietly and guiltily. A contemptuous laugh escaped him. "You can't trust a De Santis, Cayetana. None of that filthy gang!" he said and started the engine again. "Well, I'm curious about Papá's reaction!"

-

The closer we got to the gates, the harder my heart beat. Immediately I had to face my dad and tell him everything. Alejandro and I hadn't exchanged a word, which also drove me crazy. I've never liked silence. Especially since I didn't even know what Ale's thoughts are right now.

"Dad should be in his office," Ale informed me once we got out. I couldn't even read his tone of voice. However, I just nodded and together with Ale I made my way to our big front door. Inside, I immediately made my way to my father. Alejandro didn't follow me. I had to go through it alone.

I stopped in front of the office door. My body was shaking with nervousness and my heart was beating to the moon. I breathed in and out deeply soothingly. But somehow it wasn't reassuring at all, it just made me more insecure. After a full five minutes I finally got it over with. I knocked. "Sí?" his voice muffled through the door. I closed my eyes briefly and tried one last thing to calm down before entering the room.

My father's smile faded as he looked at my tear-stained face. "What's going on?" he asked worried. "Dapá," I began and burst in front of his desk. "We need to talk and it's long overdue," I continued.

After that I told him everything. Extensive down to the last detail. I had to stop sometimes because I just couldn't hold back the tears. And worst of all, my father's look was just like Alejandro's. Indefinable.

Now there was silence for a few minutes. It seems like all my words are echoing through his head. Suddenly he looked at me in bewilderment. Stunned and angry. Very angry. "You dated a De Santis?" He raised his voice. I jumped when he hit the table with full force. "And you ruined the business?!" he yelled loudly. "Do you realize what you've done there?" he spoke menacingly quietly. "Dad, ic-" "Get out of my sight!" he yelled. Tears pooled in my eyes. "Get out of my sight, Cayetana!"

I got up in no time and left his office. I stormed up to my room as fast as I could and closed the door behind me. A loud sob escaped my throat as the tears made their way down my cheeks again.

In all the 22 years I've been in this world, my dad had never yelled at me. It hurt. But it was my own fault. I got involved with the enemy. And got screwed. "Super Cayetana, you did a great job again!" I mumbled to myself.

Tired, my legs carried me to the bathroom. I just wanted to take a shower and then go to bed. My eyes burned like hell from crying and I was just exhausted. Maybe with a little luck I'll wake up tomorrow morning and everything was just a dream. Although I strongly doubt that.

With a tired grunt, I stretched. "Mierda, what a tra-" I stopped abruptly and sat up. This wasn't a dream. Or does it? I hastily grabbed my cell phone.

28 missed calls from Domenico 35 messages from Domenico

And I was thrown back. And in reality. It wasn't a dream. I snorted, closed my eyes and breathed calmly. I didn't want to cry again. I didn't want to shed a single tear for this man.

Without reading the messages, let alone replying to anything, I blocked him. What was he hoping to get from all the calls and texts?

I shook my head and slipped on my slippers. My stomach growled. I'm hungry but honestly I'm scared to go down. Had Papa let the others know?

I went to the bathroom for a moment to wash my face and brush my teeth. I stretched everything out. The longer it took me, the fewer people might sit at the dining table later. I would also prefer to eat alone.

Now I left my room with slow steps. I didn't want to, but this nauseous feeling of hunger just made me want to. I stopped just before the dining room door. I nervously closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

Completely nervous and scared I opened the door. Everyone looked at me. A bunch of indefinable looks. Why does everyone always look like that so you can't interpret their looks?! I swallowed. "Buenos dias," I said in a small voice, stopping in the same spot. None answered. My heart was pounding against my chest, and as quickly as they looked at me, they looked away. All. Like I'm not here

And if I hadn't been abnormally hungry, I would have gone back now. I slowly started to move and headed towards my seat. It was really awkward that no one replied.

I wondered what is the worst thing for her. The thing that I ruined this huge business or the thing that I was dating Domenico. I sit down silently next to Alejandro.

The moment I reached for a bun, I stopped my movement. "Buenos dias," I heard Alejandro say. I looked at him in disbelief. He gave me a minimal and an oh-so-small smile. I replied. Relief spread through me.

"Miss Fernández, what would you like to drink?" Paula asked. "Erm...a coffee please, but with milk." She nodded and left. "You don't even deserve the name!" Antonia hissed and glared at me. I looked at her perplexed.

I tried with all my might not to show how much this affected me. She had no idea. "If that's what you mean," I mumbled, slicing open my boat. "And if I mean that, what are you thinking of?" she hissed again. "Counterquestion: What's on your mind? Just let me eat my breakfast in peace," I hissed back. Antonia only laughed contemptuously. "If I were Dad and Mom, I wouldn't let you eat here! God, you're so pathetic, Cayetana!" she hissed angrily.

"I'm pathetic?" I asked in disbelief, seething with anger. I laughed bitterly. "You're the one who's totally misbehaving right now!" I told her. Her eyes widened in disbelief, sparkling with anger. "But I'm not the one who let Domenico De Santis fuck me and was totally screwed afterwards!", she replied provocatively. I was about to say something in anger, but I stopped when suddenly a hand came down on my thigh.

Alejandro.

My gaze shifted to him. He shook his head almost imperceptibly, which meant something like: Don't go into it anymore. I leaned back and snorted. Luckily Antonia didn't say anything else either, but if looks could kill I'd be dead by now. I mean, I knew they'd be mad, but her approaching me like that hurt me more than I expected.

-

After barely eating, I went back upstairs to my room. What's the point of staying downstairs if nobody's talking to me anyway? Upstairs in my room, I threw myself on the bed and snuggled up under the covers. I enjoyed the quiet to think. To think about how quickly my life could change, or rather how quickly you can fall for someone who was just screwing you. Somehow I have the feeling that it wasn't love, but a lesson. Sometimes it's not the butterflies in your stomach that tell you you're in love, it's the pain. The bitter pain.

A tear imperceptibly rolled down my cheek. I didn't want to shed any more tears for Domenico, but I was powerless. I wasn't like him. He meant something to me. I loved him. I still love him despite that and I hated myself for it.

Love is a traitor. She makes you feel good and the next moment she rams a knife in your back.

I wanted to hate Domenico. I really wanted it, but my love for him was stronger than hate. A sob escaped my lips and my cheeks were soaking wet again. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I didn't answer. I don't care who it was. Nobody spoke to me at the dining table either.

Suddenly the door opened. I took my stare from the ceiling and looked at the door where Alejandro was standing. I didn't say anything, turned around and turned my back on him. "I didn't yell come in or yes on purpose," I murmured, burying my face in my pillow.

Alejandro didn't care, but calmly walked around my bed and sat down on the bed in front of me. "That thing with De Santis sucked," I heard him say. I pricked up my ears. "Do you remember the night I found out about you guys?" he asked. I thought back to that evening for a moment before nodding hesitantly. "I meant what I said."

"I love you, Cayetana. And nothing would change that."

I sobbed and at the same time a relief spread through me again. Suddenly Ale got up and walked around the bed again. Within seconds, I felt my mattress lower behind me and the ceiling lifted. Alejandro snuggled up behind me and wrapped an arm around me. I smiled faintly at the gesture.

"I know I'm not Adri, but I hope you're happy with that," he laughed weakly. "I don't give a damn about this drug sale," he murmured against my hairline. "You trusted him. You love him, that was normal. You thought you could trust him." "Even if the others aren't, I'll always be there for you, you hear me? I'm always by your side," he whispered, kissing my hair gently. I nodded weakly in response. "I love you, Cayetana."