36

I stormed up to my room as fast as I could and immediately grabbed my cell phone. "Damn you, Domenico De Santis," I muttered while unblocking him. My hands started shaking. I was nervous.

I don't want anything to happen to him. As bad as everything went, I don't want anything to happen to him. I love him.

Fuck. I was so confused Without thinking any further, I dialed his number. It hooted and hooted. It seems like everything is in slow motion.

"Cayetana?" I heard him slur in puzzlement. I closed my eyes to hold back the tears. Thank God. "Cayetana, is that you?" he babbled. "Sí," I replied quietly. "Domenico, where are you?" I wanted to know directly. "Why do you want to know that? You don't want me in your life anymore, then."

My heart contracted. The feelings I had for this man drove me crazy. "Domenico, please tell me where you are," I asked him. He was drunk. Mierda, has he gotten anything wet in the last three days?

"I'm in our club," he slurred. "One more," he then said, and it certainly wasn't aimed at me. Our club. "I'm sitting right where we were months ago, amore mio," he babbled. Amore mio. A few tears ran down my cheeks. "Only the beautiful girl is missing," he slurred, making my lip tremble.

And that was the moment I jumped over my cursed shadow. "Stay where you are! I'll be right there," I said quickly before hanging up. I grabbed my keys from the dresser and headed back toward the door. When I ripped them open, I almost ran into Adriana. I quickly wiped away my tears with the back of my hand. Adriana looked at me worried. "What's going on?" she wanted to know. "I don't have time now, Adri. I have to go," I brushed her off and walked past her. I stormed down the stairs like crazy and practically ran into the garage.

-

With a nervous heart pounding, I've been looking at the club for a full 5 minutes now. I didn't want to think about why I was here last. I took a determined breath and got out. "Don't panic, Cayetana. Keep calm," I whispered to myself as I walked toward the entrance. The security guard let me in with a nod of welcome. I replied and then went looking for Domenico.

I stopped when I saw him sitting at the bar. His torso wobbled slightly. How much had he been drinking? With shaky breath, I slowly walked towards him. I tried to breathe calmly, which I more or less managed.

I sat down silently in the seat next to him. It was my place from back then. I got deja vu.

After a while, when someone sat down next to me again, I thought it was Adriana, which is why I looked to the left. Wrong thought. Instead of Adri, there was literally an Adonis sitting next to me, who smiled charmingly at me. Oh god, I'm almost melting. He's quite broad. Outrageously hot. He had slightly wavy black hair, a well-groomed three-day beard adorned his face and he had damn beautiful blue eyes. Not to mention his distinctive facial features and full lips. He wore casual black pants and a white shirt, which he left three buttons open at the top and rolled up his sleeves to the crook of his arm. I could easily see the outlines of tattoos through the white shirt he wore.

Only this time I was the one who sat down. Domenico looked at me. "Hi," I spoke cautiously. Domenico looked at me in disbelief. "Hi," he replied, slurring. Domenico didn't look away. He actually stared at me.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, trying to sound normal but not succeeding. I ask myself the same thing. What am I doing here? "You hate me and you don't want me in your life anymore. So why are you calling me and coming the fuck over here Cayetana?" he asked slurring. I heard the pain in his voice. It broke my heart almost as much as the day I found out about it all.

"I...I was worried about you," I whispered, close to tears. Domenico doesn't seem to have expected this answer. "Adriano was with me, he told me that you've been missing for three days. And that you don't answer calls," I explained.

"You're worried about me?" His eyes began to shine. I slowly nodded. I couldn't deny that I love him and that I care about him.

Domenico shook his head in protest. "No, I didn't deserve this. I hurt you," he breathed, slurring. Tears welled up in his eyes. "I miss you," he croaked as a tear rolled down his cheek. I felt the urge to wipe that tear from his face, but I held myself back.

This sight broke my heart. He cried. Domenico lowered his gaze. He probably didn't want me to see him like that. "Where have you been the last few days?" I asked. "In clubs," he replied. "You've only been drinking through the last few days?" I asked, shocked. I could imagine that, but actually hearing it was a different pair of shoes.

Suddenly Domenico turned his gaze back up. His eyes were slightly red. His lip quivered slightly. Please stop crying. I asked him silently.

"I love you," he whispered. "So much that it hurts," he slurred and another tear rolled down his cheek. A few warm tears made their way down my cheek.

I swallowed. "Let's go. I'll take you out of here," I said, standing up. "I don't want to go home," he slurred in protest. "I'm not taking you home either," I replied, holding out my hand.

He eyed her skeptically before wiping the tears from his face and grabbing her. Domenico almost fell, but I caught him in time. Domenico slapped a few bills on the counter before we set off.

I left the club with him and we walked towards my car. The physical contact completely threw me off. I place Domenico in the passenger seat and buckle him up before boarding the driver's side. "Where are we going?" he asked slurring. "To my apartment," I replied and started the engine.

-

"Hold on to the wall," I ordered him as I unlocked the door to my apartment. As we walked in, Domenico supported me. I headed with him towards the couch in the living room. "I think sleep will do you good now," I said, gesturing toward the couch. Domenico nodded dazedly and flopped down on the couch. I took off his shoes and laid his legs on the couch before covering him with the thin blanket that was on the couch.

"Are you leaving now?" he asked softly. "No, I'll stay. But I'll sleep in the bedroom," I answered and would certainly not leave him alone now. He just nodded. I was about to run into the bedroom, he said something. "Thank you," he slurred. I turned to him and acknowledged this with a nod and ran into the bedroom.

There I took a deep breath. How quickly an evening can change. Before I lay down, I wrote Adriana that I would sleep in the apartment. I left out Domenico's part for now. I was much too overwhelmed for that myself. I took off my shoes and walked towards the closet, from which I then looked for things to sleep on.

Then I lay down and FLASHBACKed the evening. I couldn't stop the tears from falling. The picture of a crying Domenico kept me from sleeping for a while, until I eventually fell asleep.

With a sleepy grumble, I slowly opened my eyes. I blinked several times to wake up before sitting up and stretching, yawning.

I looked around the room and realized I wasn't in my normal room. Now I remembered last night again. I widened my eyes a little in panic. Domenico is here.

Am I awake? I got up from the bed and quietly opened the door. I slowly padded towards the living room, where my eyes widened. The table was covered with food and coffee.

Domenico sat on the couch and looked at his cell phone. Apparently he didn't even notice me. I cleared my throat, which made him look at me. "Buenos dias," I murmured. "Buon giorno," he said, tucking his phone into his pocket.

"Um...I was at the bakery getting other things," he informed me. I just nodded and walked towards the table.

I sat silently next to Domenico and looked at the table. His presence made me kind of nervous. "Cayetana, it tu-" "Not now," I snapped in softly, glancing at him. "Can we have breakfast and talk about other things before we talk about...us?" I asked him. It was kind of weird talking about us.

Immediately he nodded. "Of course," he replied. I grabbed a pretzel. I was suddenly starving. "Why did you run away?" I tried to strike up a conversation while we both ate.

Domenico finished chewing and then looked at me thoughtfully. "My father chose me to take over the business," he began. "I know that. Adriano told me," I informed him.

"Well, I don't know if I can do that. Running a mafia." He paused for a moment. "I used to do whatever it took to prove I was the right person for the job, but now that my father picked me I've really thought about it again. I just don't know if I can handle it and I also had to get out of this house once," he said. I nodded in understanding.

"May I say something about that?" I asked with my mouth full. Domenico nodded. "Yes, please." I swallowed my food and started to speak.

"I think you have what it takes to be a mafia boss. I don't know what the typical characteristics of a mafia boss are, but I think you nail it," I said.

-

A few minutes had passed. Domenico and I talked about irrelevant topics. It was a bit odd or weird at first, but the more we talked the better it got. It was really nice to talk to him about normal topics.

I became more and more aware of how much I actually missed him, but I still don't forget his actions. But secretly I enjoyed his eyes on me. Or how he tried to scrutinize me unnoticed. Somehow cute.

"What happened to your security guard? I asked curiously. Domenico's facial features hardened, as if this subject suddenly infuriated him.

"You really want to know?" he asked me. He knew I knew what he was like. "Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't think so," I replied, grinning slightly.

Now I was running out of topics to talk about. And we were done eating. Inwardly, I'm trying not to talk to him about us. I was kinda scared.

"You can't imagine how badly I want to undo it," he said suddenly. "What? That thing about the security guard?" I asked, knowing what he meant. "Cayetana," he said, tilting his head. I snorted. "Yeah, sorry," I mumbled.

"But you can't undo it, Domenico," I said softly, beginning to play with my fingers. "I know," he breathed.

"But I want you to believe how sorry I am and that I really do regret it. And above all, that I love you, Cayetana," he said in a slightly pleading tone. I swallowed and looked at him. "Do you still love me?" he asked cautiously. And how I do it. But I was afraid to tell him that. I didn't want to feel that pain again. No way.

I quickly got up to avoid his question. "Let's clean up," I said frantically, grabbing things. I don't want to feel that pain again.

Domenico stepped next to me and gently grabbed my wrist. My gaze lingered on the table. "Please don't avoid my question," he whispered as he cupped my chin between his thumb and forefinger and turned my face toward him.

I swallowed before his beautiful blue eyes met mine. I looked at his lips uncontrollably, but quickly brought my gaze back up.

He gently placed his hand on my cheek, which made my skin super electrified. I closed my eyes tormentingly and snuggled minimally into his hand. "Do you still love me, Cayetana?" he repeated his question. His voice was a whisper.

With my eyes still closed, I slowly began to nod. "Use your words, amore mio," he breathed. I swallowed and slowly opened my eyes. I took a deep breath. "I li-"

I was interrupted by a ringing. The front door. I frowned and looked to the left. I turned away from Domenico and ran to the door. Who is that supposed to be?

"Alejandro?" I blurted out questioningly while I looked at him. His gaze wandered over me to Domenico. "What are you doing here?" I wanted to know in amazement. "Because you don't answer your phone and you wrote to Adriana yesterday that you're sleeping in the apartment." "But you didn't mention that," he said, pointing to Domenico. I was visibly uncomfortable.

Alejandro almost stabbed him with his eyes. "Can we talk in private for a moment, Tana?" Ale asked without taking his eyes off Domenico. "Sí," I replied.

Ale and I went into the bedroom, where he immediately closed the door. "What the hell?" he asked in a questioning tone. "How did that happen? Does it have anything to do with Adrianos showing up yesterday?" he wanted to know. I let out a sigh and sat down on the bed.

Completely overwhelmed with the whole situation, I buried my face in my hands. "He says he's sorry and that he really loves me," I murmured. I felt the bed close by me sink and Ale sat down next to me. "Do you believe him?" I swallowed before shrugging. "I dont know. I think so," I replied. "I don't want to get hurt again, Ale. I can't take this pain again," I murmured, unable to keep my eyes from stinging slightly.

Alejandro put an arm around me. "You should listen to your heart, hermana. Dios, that sounds so cheesy. Do what your heart wants," I said softly. My heart wants Domenico.

Since the first second.