CHAPTER 13

Vanish

After our professor dismissed us. I quickly walked out. I suddenly stopped from my tracks when someone grabbed my right hand and hooked her arms on my right arm. I can't stop the smile from my lips. I looked at my side and I immediately saw Villia pouting her lips.

"It's so tiring to study," she sighed dramatically while we're heading into the canteen.

My face crumpled while hearing her rant. Really? Is he tired of studying, always leading the class? Afraid of getting low scores? all lessons so as not to fail. She always rants that she's tired even if she studies so hard every time.

Even though I try to understand what the professor is teaching, only a little of it enters my brain. But at least I've learned some of my lessons right? And I'm proud of my performance lately. compared to my performance in senior high.

Even if I might get a zero, I wasn't worried before. I was just very chill! All my principles in senior high just vanished just like that in the thin air, just because one reason huh?

College is really not a joke. But I always told myself not to be pressured. I want to study while still enjoying my life.

"You know, I didn't study last night. Because I thought there would be no quiz today. I've partied last night in Asher's Club. And I was so wrong! my head is still spinning a while ago, fortunately my scores are not low." she pouted her lips after she sipped on her milk tea.

I was amazed to be able to stare at her. She raised her right eyebrow.

"What's with that face?" she asked curiosly while putting the dish on my plate.

"You partied last night yet you top in our quizzes? Just wow.” I promised while taking a bite. She's so bright and intelligent! I sometimes wish to have a brain like her. But I'm contended with mine though. I'm not that stupid. Let's just say I'm in between.

Daddy and Mommy are smart. I don't even know where I inherited from.

She shrugged her shoulders.

“I'm not satisfied with my scores. But it's okay understandable because I couldn't review last night." she said with sadness in her voice.

I almost spit out the water I was drinking when she suddenly screamed.

“Oh my goodness! I'm so proud of your scores! You're really improving. Didn't you used to have no use for your studies?" she trailed while looking closely at my face.

I nodded and smiled at her. it was like someone hugged my heart while looking at her proud eyes while staring at me. I felt like I've done so great today. In fact, her scores are huge compared to mine. I wonder why she's not satisfied with her scores while me? I'm so happy of my scores even if it's not that big compared to my other classmates.

"You know you're proud. I really can't imagine that you take your studies seriously. I know you're an only child and your family is wealthy. you don't even have to study hard because you already have a bright future in front of you. But look at you now, studying real hard for your future. I can see determination in you.”

"I get asked who is your inspiration. Hmm... I have a man inside my head but I won't spill it. I want to hear it coming from your mouth.” she teasingly muttered.

"You really know me huh? Are you stalking me since before?” I squinted my eyes at her.

She bit her lips dramatically and nodded her head making my jaw drop! Really? Won't he even find a reason? Really admit it!

"Wow I have a beautiful Devil stalker." I laugh while looking at her still bewildered.

I can't even imagine that someone will stalk me! And it's a girl! Why didn't I feel like someone was always following me? Or I just really don't care around me.

"Is your family business a paper maker?" I stopped laughing when I saw her rolling her eyes at me.

"Stop teasing me! Well, you're rich, but why don't you buy paper? Maybe you have a reason for not being able to write. If I'm the teacher I won't buy your reasons. it's just too lame for a rich kid like you!” I laughed at her face because it was red.

"I just don't like to write that's why... What's the use of my paper when I don't even want to write." I scoffed at her.

Her eyebrows rose even more because of what I said.

"Then why go to school when you don't even want to study?" her brows quirked up.

Why does she become more and more cute in my eyes as time goes on. She never runs out of words. I like her because of her humor. It's not just about her humor too. I like everything about her. Oh God, thank you for giving me this kind of angel.

I don't know if I could make it through this school year if I didn't meet Villia. Maybe, I'm still the Angel Kate who doesn't have a single friend. But it's okay for her to be alone because she's used to it.

I'm happy because I picked and chose the right friend. I've noticed that I suddenly opened myself to her everyday. He also knows a lot about me that I didn't expect.

I see her so genuine to me and it's just so unrealistic for me. Because all those who want to be friends with me. I felt different towards them. I just don't feel their vibe.

Even if Villia is so loud and talkative every time she's with me. I don't feel any irritation towards her. Even though I really want to feel irritated with her. At first, I tried to push her away for many reasons, but as time went on, I gradually opened myself to her.

I felt really comfortable when I'm with her. She felt like a sister to me.

This is my first time feeling this kind of comfortableness towards a friend. i didn't know it feels like this. I used to keep all my thoughts to myself because I had nothing to talk about, but now it's different.

After we ate our lunch. Willia and I parted ways. I've decided to visit Keegan in their building. Their building is far from ours, so these past few days we haven't seen each other much. But he always updates me everyday, I don't always update him because of my busy schedule.

I missed him so much. I wish I could hug him from time to time.

many students looked at me as I walked the way to the criminology building. I pursed my lips and continued walking even if I felt so many eyes staring at me.

I looked up at the number and section on each classroom door I passed. I look down at my phone then back to the door. My face brightened when I saw the number and section of Keegan's room.

The hallway is quite because it's still lunch time. Did Keegan eat his lunch already? I walked closer to their classroom door and slowly peeked in. I roamed my eyes around their four corner room to see if Keegan is inside. I only see a little inside and they are always busy doing things.

"Who are you looking for?" I suddenly jumped in shock when someone suddenly spoke. I calmed my nerves and tilted my head to look at my side. I straightened up and smiled a little.

"Are you a nursing student?" she asked the obvious... It's obvious from my uniform. "Why are you here? Are you looking for something? who? Maybe I can help you.” her last word brightened my face.

I smiled timidly at her and cleared my throat first. she has a boy haircut and based on how she speaks right now. I think she's a lesbian.

"Did you know Keegan? Is he here? I can't see him inside." I slowly said.

I saw how her brows furrowed "Keegan?" she asked confused.

"Are you referring to Alister?" she asked which made my heart come alive.

“Yes it's him! Did you see him? Did he come in?” I asked. She nodded causing me to smile. So he's not absent. Is he eating lunch today? Is he in the canteen? Why didn't I see him?

"I saw him go out earlier. he took the path to the garden." my question was answered because of what he said.

I immediately thanked and quickly made my way to the garden. This University has two gardens. That one is still far away. But there is one near here in their building. It's a secret garden I think. don't tell me his den is there again? And he eats there to avoid people?

With that in mind, I sped up my pace. If he's there, that means the garden is right in front of the canteen!

There is a tree that is not very profitable near the canteen. behind that tree is the secret garden. People who are introverted and not used to socializing with others go there. But I don't think anyone goes there other than Keegan.

I was still far away when I stopped walking when I saw two people talking. My eyes darted at them. I continued walking a little bit to see them clearly. They were behind the tree and talking. It seems like the conversation is serious.

I squinted my eyes and looked at them closely. It was like something in my heart when I saw Keegan suddenly bent down. Yes it's him, even though he's far away I know him well.

He was talking to a woman who was tall and had black wavy hair. I think she's in her late twenties. It's just her side profile that I can see that I'm beautiful. What are they talking about? the curiosity to know what they're talking about urges me to come near them but a part of me stops myself from doing it.

I saw how the woman gave a piece of paper to Keegan and he pointed to something inside the canteen. I did not follow where he directed. I just focused on Keegan. I saw him reading the paper.

My brows furrowed when I clearly saw the woman handed blue bills to Keegan. It felt like something tugged at my heart when I saw Keegan accept it. I saw how his face brightened with joy. why is it easy for him to accept money from other people? But if it's from me, he doesn't want it?

Why is he so comfortable while talking to her? Have they known each other for a long time? Does he want that? In fact, that girl looks a few years older than us, but I can't deny that she is very beautiful.

I felt something else in my chest making me feel the pain. Why did he give money to Keegan? I saw how Keegan walked away from the woman with a smile on his face. I quickly hid on the edge of a large plant just to my side when I saw Keegan heading in my direction.

A lone tear escaped from my eyes. We didn't see each other for a few days. just a few days... but why does it seem so long? As if we are far from each other. Why does my heart ache so bad at the sight? Why did I feel so insecure all of a sudden?

Don't tell me he likes older girls? Maybe a sugar mommy? I laughed out loud at the thought.

"Why are you crying?" I suddenly jumped a bit when I heard a familiar voice.

I looked at the source of the voice. And there in front of me I saw Willia flushed face. Her cheeks are red, especially her nose. You can also see in her eyes that she just got back from crying.

Her eyes mirrored mine.

"Why are your eyes so fluffy?" I also asked her in a broken voice.

She shrugged her shoulders and came closer to me.

"I was the first to ask. Why are you here? And why are you crying?" she asked with her curious tone.

I avoided her gaze and sighed. Why am I crying? Is it because I'm so jealous? That I should be happy because I will see Keegan but I got something else? And why the hell am I crying by the way? why the fuck I'm so emotional when it comes to him! I'm not like this. But why am I weak when it comes to him?

I swallowed while looking into Villia's eyes. I see the sadness here. As I looked at her eyes I've realized that her eyes are sad and broken than mine.

"It's nothing... Some dust went inside my eyes. You, why are your eyes so fluffy?” I asked as I cupped her cheeks.

He jumped a little and gave me a sad smile.

"It's nothing too. Some dust also went inside my eyes." she giggled without humor making me roll my eyes.

I pulled her closer to me and I immediately wrapped my arms around her shoulder. Villia hugged me back making my sad smile pasted on my lips.

I heard her soft little sobs on my shoulder making my tears fall. While listening to the little voice of my friend crying. And I realize that it's not just my heart that feels sadness, sorrow and pain right now.

No one spoke between us and just enjoyed the warmth of each other's embrace. I didn't know that someone's hug helps to ease the sadness in your heart even a little bit.

I found myself inside Villia's apartment. I stared at her ceiling blankly while laying on her bed. I didn't go home first and went straight to his apartment.

My heart felt so suffocated for an unknown reason. I want to breathe for a while.

"Angel, what's more beautiful? this or this?” I got up from lying down and looked at Villia who was busy shopping for a fitted dress.

"Here look at this. I know it's your favorite color.” she showed me a sky blue dress. A smile crept on my lips. Even the smallest things about me. She memorized it all.

"That black dress suits you." I pointed to the black dress she was holding. She smirked at me.

I put some red lipstick on my lips while looking at the mirror. The dress hugged my curves very well. I felt someone hug my waist so I looked next to me.

"You are beautiful," Villia whispered so amazed while looking at our reflection in the mirror.

I smiled because of what she said.

"We're both pretty." I pointed out.

"I think many men will come to our table later because of you."

I chuckled at her statement.

"You won't bring your other friends?" I asked at her curiously.

She quickly shook her head and hugged me tighter.

“I felt like we're both heartbroken right now and we needed to distract ourselves a little bit. I'm so sad now. I want to drink now. I badly want to get drunk and get wasted.” her voice quivered a bit and I felt so sad for her.

I tapped her cheeks “I'm here, you can tell me all your problems. My two ears gladly wanna hear your rants.”

I'm not good at giving advice because it's my first time having a friend. But I'm willing to listen and give an opinion.

If Villia can't open up to me about her personal problems. I can't do it anymore. I want to keep my personal problems alone. I want to keep my heartaches alone.

I've received so many text messages from Keegan. but I didn't reply even once. I just stared at my cellphone. Stunned. I want to ask him badly if who's that woman. I know that I'm still so jealous right now. The bitterness I felt was overflowing. It's like I'm shrinking myself suddenly.

The beauty of that woman is not a joke. one look at her and you'll immediately know, that she can tame anyone.

I held my chest when I felt the pain. Maybe he doesn't want that, right? He said he's falling for me. But until he admits that he loves me, I have no right to him.

I don't want him to be scared of my love. I don't want to be so possessive to the man I'm not sure I really own. Many scenarios come to my mind. I tried to push it away because I was the only one who was hurt by the thoughts.

"Angel we're already here," I blinked my eyes enumerable times when I heard Villia's excited voice beside me.

Villia paid the taxi driver and she quickly left. I took a deep breath and let it out harshly. I saw Keegan's last text causing my tears to form in the corner of my eyes.

My Keegan, My Yuki:

Hi. Are you busy? I'm sorry for being rude. I just want to know if you're okay. I want to hear your voice. Can I hear it even if a little bit of your time? Oh, don't worry, you might be doing something. I can still be a bother. I already have many packs of potchi here but I don't know when I can give them to you. Maybe you are busy and don't want to be disturbed.

My Keegan, My Yuki:

Hi again. Uhm. I'm embarrassed to say this but I just want to say that I miss you so much. I miss your lips too. I miss everything about you so much. Goodnight, my yuki.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm my system. My eyes went blurry while reading his text messages. But I stopped my tears not to fall. I missed him so much too. But I can't always be fragile. I also want to experience that I'm not the one to make the first move. But it seems unlikely that I will experience that because I only liked the innocent man when it comes to love.

"Angel..." I looked up at Villia with a sad smile on her lips.

"Let's get inside?" she asked. I wiped some shed of my tears away and smiled at her.

The smile that tells everything will be okay. and this jealousy in my heart will vanish before morning comes.