5

~Aurelia Williams~

... The door opened and again my heart threatened to skip a few beats.

But when I thought of meeting this 'ER', I never thought he could look so good. I thought this 'he' was a murderer, but that's not how I imagined a murderer to be.

Standing in the doorway was a six-foot-tall, muscular man with prominent masculine features. He was by far the sexiest guy in the whole world. A God. He had raven-black hair and his muscular chest was clearly visible under his black t-shirt, which was rather tight-fitting. But not to be ignored were his beautiful green eyes, which reflected the forest.

And those very eyes were the reason why my heart was beating twice as fast as before. If it beats any faster then I'm sure I won't survive this. My world suddenly stopped. And there was this spark of hope inside me that was now igniting into a whole flame.

When his eyes met mine, I could see a deep hatred in them at first. But then they softened and he opened his mouth a crack as if he had some realization.

I bit my lower lip. His lips looked so soft, I wanted to pounce on them.

Oh god what am I thinking? I've never kissed a boy before.

Suddenly his eyes went black and he whispered something unintelligible. In response, I gave him an anxious look. He looked like he was about to eat me. And why are his eyes black? That's not normal! Then they softened again and I could see something like disappointment.

I knew that look. That's how my father always looked at me.

But those lips distracted me from continuing to think about my father.

They were so full and soft. I want to try them. Like an invisible force that wants to urge me to him...

I don't know why I thought that either, but before I could think about it any further, he was gone and I was left alone with my thoughts.

Only then did I realize that I was holding my breath.

He is gone. And somehow with him also the flame full of hope. What was I imagining anyway? I mean black eyes alone? That doesn't work. This is not possible.

A few more seconds passed before I heard someone running up the stairs again.

Will he come back? Should I be afraid of him?

Strangely disappointed, I found that it was Steven who stepped through the door.

Still standing in the doorway, he eyed me and it almost seemed like he was checking me for wounds. "Did he do something to you?" he asked, clearly worried. But I just shook my head, and he let out a relieved breath.

But then he said in a broken voice, "I-I'm so sorry, Aurelia".

"What? What are you sorry for? And who was that?" This man looked like he wanted to tear me to pieces. If you leave out the 'hot'. It's all just so absurd. My emotions are on a rollercoaster. On the one hand, I was scared to death and on the other hand, I would have loved to throw myself like a cat in heat at this guy who, to make matters worse, is definitely a lot older than me.

"I'm really so sorry, Auri, but I'm not allowed to tell you about all this. Believe me, if I could, you would have known by now. I'm just trying to protect you." He came up to me and hugged me tightly. Tightly hugged, my hot tears, which had previously accumulated, now flowed down the cheeks.

My emotions seemed to be really ebb and flow. What's the matter with me? Also, Steven just kind of confuses me even more.

I haven't let my tears flow for far too long. I wanted to look strong in front of my father when he hit me again. But now all the pent-up frustration has come out, along with this little bit of fear of life that I've just experienced.

"What's going on here?" I tried again, but didn't expect an answer.

"We both. That between you and me This friendship should never have existed. That was a mistake," Steven said wistfully, and it hurt me in a different way than my dad's punches.

I just didn't understand the world anymore and finally wanted answers to all my questions. But I didn't seem to get the answers I wanted. Definitely not from Steven.

I sobbed as I took in the words he had said. He didn't want me, at least that's what he said. However, holding me in his arms gave me a completely different feeling.

"Come on, I'll drive you home!" Steven tried with an encouraging smile.

Home. The place where I least want to be. But how should he know? After all, I'm not saying anything.

Steven pulled away from me and led me down to the front door by the hand. Without meeting his parents or brother again, we reached his car and got in.

In the car I looked at the clock and was shocked to realize that it was already 5 minutes to 8 a.m. That too.

'Shit' I thought to myself, hoping Steven would hurry up because I didn't need trouble at home as well. The day was bad enough.

The 5 minutes home were the longest I had ever experienced.

Neither Steven nor I said anything during the drive. This silence between us was very uncomfortable and uncharacteristic of both of us. None of us knew what to say. But to be honest, I didn't want to talk to him right now either. The only thing I would like is a proper explanation and that I get home on time. My father will really kill me otherwise.

At 8 o'clock sharp Steven stopped in my driveway. I grabbed my stuff and without turning to Steven again or saying goodbye, I left his car towards the house.

Finally closing the door behind me, I leaned my back against her. It was 8, so I just made it there in time. At least something...

I had to take a deep breath and think about today again. Who was that and what did this man want? What happened to Steven's family? Or am I already imagining things?

In my head, I didn't notice my father entering the hallway. Only when he was in front of me.

He hit me in the face with all his might and I collapsed. "You're too late!" he slurred, visibly angry. I could tell from the slurring that he was -as always- drunk not AT 8 o'clock! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" He particularly emphasized 'before' and 'around'.

I swallowed down the now familiar pain and straightened up to nod anxiously. He won't even leave me alone for a day. Why is this happening to me? Why always me???

The next second, he swung his leg back and buried his foot in my stomach. "ANSWER ME CORRECTLY!" he yelled at me now, spitting. "Next time you don't come home on time because you feel like you have to fuck your boyfriend, there will be serious consequences!"

Before I could reply anything, he looked at me with a disappointed expression and continued talking "Have you forgotten that your mother ran away because of you? That she was totally overwhelmed because of you and cheated on me with another guy because of YOU? YOU ARE ALL THE BLAME. YOU ALONE!"

"No," I whispered softly, because I couldn't forget that because my father held it in my face every day. It was true, when she was alive my parents used to argue loudly. I never really understood what it was about but it seemed to be about me, at least that's what my father told me.

It was my fault she was gone. My fault that my father looked at me so disappointed every day. And probably also my fault that she was shot at that time. It was all my fault that I have such a shitty life.

Holding back tears, I got up and walked past my father up the stairs. Luckily he didn't stop me.

When I got to my room, I lay down on my bed and curled up into a ball.

Right now was the time when I let all the pent-up tears flow again. I knew that crying was useless, but it still felt good to let it out, even if little will change in my life. Because my spark of hope is gone. The mysterious stranger took it with him.