Chapter 12 Confused Guesses

~Anna~

In a way, I was glad I wasn’t facing him because my face felt hot. I didn’t need a mirror to know that I looked like a tomato right now. This was embarrassing, especially when he told me that he could smell me, down there.

I actually did it with Flynn! Well, not exactly because we had our clothes on but…

I gulped. Did I want it to happen with our clothes off? An image of Flynn’s topless figure flashed in my mind. He was always in shape, conscious of his looks ever since we were in training.

He rejected me, but… I guess he still loved me. But… if he did, why would he do those things! I almost died that night!

Did Farrell take control? No, I would’ve known. It was definitely him. He did it of his own volition.

I didn’t know what came over me – why I let him do it to me. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t good and that… I didn’t like it.

No, no, no! Anna, he almost killed you!

This was all so confusing. I should’ve pushed him away, denied what he sought from me. So, why didn’t I?

My father often talked about how much he loved my mother, though I never got to meet her. She died to let me live, and I was clueless as to what she looked like because no one had a picture of her. He used to tell me about mates and the bond, rejection, and acceptance – the feeling of being like an entirely new being after the marking was completed.

I’d accepted his rejection, he didn’t mark me, so… why does a part of me still yearn for him? Even after all he’d done, was it possible that I still loved him? Because I shouldn’t.

Seriously, what is going on today? First, Alpha Liam then…

Why did he do those things? And why did I let him?

I’m not easy to get! Why am I getting flustered by these two Alphas!

Loud howls reached my ears, and then the sound of cheering erupted. Turning my head towards the direction of where it came, I could see yellow light push back the darkness of the night. The howls came again, signifying that the mating ceremony was over.

My heart sank. That could’ve been Flynn and me, if only he hadn’t rejected me. I sighed.

I guess I do still love him, even if but a little.

We used to be a thing, and back then I could already picture spending the rest of my life with him. When Alpha Fraser gave me his blessing and spoiled the surprise that Flynn was going to propose to me, I thought everything would be alright, because his feelings for me hadn’t changed even though I was officially wolf-less.

It might’ve been perfect; it was what I asked of the Goddess. Lexy told me I could stay with their pack, but with what just happened between Alpha Liam and me, I think it would be best if I turn rogue.

A rogue didn’t have the protection of a pack and was vulnerable to rogue factions and simply strays, but it probably wouldn’t be so bad. I could live with the humans, blend in perfectly. Without a wolf, I might as well be labeled one anyways. And since I don’t have a werewolf’s scent, rogues wouldn’t be able to tell me apart from humans. Maybe, I really belonged to the human world.

He adjusted me on his shoulder, sighing as he did so. Ha! He probably got tired. So much for acting tough.

“If you didn’t run away from me, we could’ve joined the ceremony,” he said.

“First, I didn’t run away. Alpha Flynn took me. And second, there’s no point in me attending the ceremony,” I snapped. “Why were you looking for me anyway? I’m thankful that you saved me from last night, but you’re not my babysitter. I can handle myself on my own.”

I’m still annoyed that he spanked me. Even Father never did such a thing! And only little kids get spanked. I’m not a kid anymore.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Were you enjoying your little session?” he said mockingly, and I blushed.

“That’s none of your business!” I replied, and he spanked me again.

No more!

I squirmed to get out of his hold, pounding my fists on his back and kicking my legs in the air as I did so. He saved me last night and I truly am grateful, but he had no business poking his nose where it didn’t belong. What happens to me and whatever came down between Flynn and me – he had no right to involve himself in these matters.

“Babe, if you don’t stop teasing me your delicious little ass, I won’t hesitate to fuck you right here, right now, and claim you mine,” he warned sternly, and I stopped.

“Don’t call me babe!” I shouted. “And put me down!”

Why’s he acting so weird? They’re both acting weird! Is this what happens to Alphas when the mating ceremony comes around?

Sighing, he pulled me off his shoulder and I thought I was going to fall so I wrapped both arms around his neck, some sort of reflex, and curled my knees to my stomach, my eyes shut tight. I was practically clinging to him!

I heard him clear his throat, and only then did I open my eyes. I turned my head, and I was so glad it was dark because his face was centimeters from mine. Heat crept into my cheeks again. His back leaned back a little, an arm wrapped around my thighs to support me.

“Let go,” he said calmly, and in my panicked state, I did. As soon as I did, I cursed myself for I was going to fall this time, but he caught me with his other arm. My breath hitched in my throat. I was now facing the most dangerous Alpha, as he held me close to him, bridal style.

“I can call you whatever I want, babe. I’m the Alpha,” he said. I rolled my eyes at him. It was dark so he couldn’t see it anyway.

Arrogant jerk!

“And whatever ‘business’ you have with that abusive lover of yours, it’s over now that I’m here. I don’t want you anywhere near him.” His voice sounded like a command; it was a little scary. But I was a grown-up girl, and I could do whatever I wanted!

I’m about to be a free rogue so nobody tells Anna what she can and can’t do!

“He’s not abusive,” I said, my mind disagreeing. “He’s not my lover either. And I can do whatever I want.”

A low growl came from him and I tensed. How could I have forgotten?

He’s a murderous Alpha!

Way to get yourself killed, Anna. Is he going to kill me here? I bet he knows how to hide a dead body. Goddess, is this the end of me?

“You… You keep on protecting him. Are you actually an idiot?” he said, and that was the last straw.

I’m done with these Alphas acting all arrogant and dominant.

“Put me down!” I said, raising my voice at him. He pulled me closer to him, his hand gripping my outer thighs.

“Keep testing my patience and you’ll regret it, mate,” he said firmly.

There he goes again, calling me his mate. Looks like I have to make it clear for him to understand.

“I don’t have a mate!” I shouted. I didn’t intend to shout at him, but it somehow came out like that, and that same feeling washed over me again. Emptiness – a missing part of me, wanting to be completed.

Why did he reject me? Why did I have to be mated to him when he didn’t want me? Or does he? I don’t know. I don’t know anymore.

I looked away from Alpha Liam and blinked rapidly, breathing deeply, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. I just wanted to be in my room, in the comforting dark, alone and safe.

He stopped in his tracks, and I felt him raise me higher. I stayed silent. He was probably going to do another annoying thing again.

I felt his hot breath on the top of my head, then something soft brushed past my hair.

Did he just kiss me?

Looking up at him, I realized that he had adjusted my position, so my face was just by his shoulder. It was a moonless night, but I could somehow tell that he was smiling. And did I guess right when he told me, “Then why do I want you?”