Chapter 48 Hard Slap

~Anna~

I was in the kitchens with Aunty J and the Omegas, helping them with the dishes for tomorrow. It’d been three days since the burial and the depressing aura that hung around everyone was dissipating. Also, Liam’s birthday was in seven months!

Early this morning, Rigel banged on the door to wake us up, telling me that Aunty J asked for me. It surprised me that she wanted to meet me, in her kitchen! She was still cold towards me, but I guess that was her way of warming up to me.

This felt amazing! I didn’t realize how much I missed cooking. I hadn’t cooked a single dish since I left my old pack!

We were now cleaning up, ready to call it a day. The Omegas started to leave, and I think we built a connection with my day spent here. We talked like old friends, got to know each other a bit more. I’d always have time for my three best friends, of course.

Taking my stained apron off, I added it to the pile of laundry – dirtied aprons and kitchen towels.

“Good work today, Luna,” said Aunty J with a poker face on.

I smiled at her. “Thank you, Aunty J. And please, call me Anna.”

She nodded.

Goddess, this is actually happening!

“You can come by anytime you want,” she said, walking towards the door. “My girls could use more energy. Now, come. The kitchen’s locked at night.”

“Actually, Aunty J. Do you mind if I stay here for a bit more?” I asked nervously.

She raised a perfectly shaped brow and asked, “Why?”

I hope this wasn’t too much to ask for.

“It’s Liam’s birthday in seven months and I want to prepare an early surprise for him.”

“Here,” she said, tossing the keys in the air. I barely caught it between my hands when she was already going out the door. “I have a spare key. Make sure you clean up.”

“Thank you, Aunty J!” I said as the door swung back. I guess that meant she’d accepted me?

I’d talked to some really great sisters from the Red Circle. I met Liam’s mentor and one of the elders, Helia. I became friends with Luan. Her archery skills were breathtaking. Liam didn’t tell me we had a sister pack! They were all strong warriors.

I was being accepted by the pack. I was more anxious now, but I also felt like this was a huge step. The last thing I wanted now would be to let Liam down.

I went to the cupboard to gather the ingredients that I needed. Flour, yeast, milk, eggs – as I checked each ingredient in my head, I suddenly stopped.

Did Aunty J call me “Luna”?

My jaw dropped and I squealed. She did! She did! Why didn’t I notice that? No matter – I was recognized in the pack now, at least with my fellow kitchen warriors. This was turning out to be an amazing day!

After gathering all that I needed, I began to follow the recipe. I taught myself how to bake using old cookbooks I found on the shelves back at the old pack. Over time, I made my own recipes – which tasted better by my standards.

While I wasn’t entirely sure if Liam liked sweets, he wouldn’t reject what I personally made for him, would he? The timer came off and I took the cake out of the oven. It smelled so good and looked just the way I wanted it. It had to cool off immediately, so I placed it in the blast chiller.

The icing and filling were ready – all that was left was assembly. I wasn’t good at decorating cakes, but I did my best. It actually came out decent. I was happy with it. I then placed it on a box and tied a cute simple red ribbon on top. This kitchen had everything.

After cleaning up, I flipped the switches off and locked the doors. It was still six – too early for bed. I walked back to the castle, enjoying the cool night breeze. A few warriors passed me by, and we exchanged pleasantries. Tonight, I’d ask Liam if I could train with the warriors.

Having them fight off rogues with me doing nothing – these days were over. Next time the pack was in danger, I wanted to be able to do something as well, even if it was as support.

The castle came into view. It’d been almost about a month already and I still found it a dream to be living here. I walked faster, excited to see the expression on his face. This was the first I made for him. Butterflies flew in my stomach at the thought of him not liking it. Lexy told me his favorite was vanilla. I added a bit of rum in the filling for an extra kick. Just a little surprise for my busy-busy Alpha.

I was just behind the hedges when Liam came into view through the floor-to-ceiling glass windows. The curtains were drawn. All the lights were on. Was he waiting for me? I smiled at the thought.

What I saw next made my smile drop. Salina came into view, and she was looking as stunning – no, more beautiful than the last time I saw her. The jade dress she wore fit her perfectly. I hid behind the hedges. They were talking but I was too far to hear them. Salina smiled at him. Even ladies would fall for her after seeing that.

What was she doing here? Liam said the Blue Moon Pack was no longer welcomed here after he won the Alpha Duel.

She placed her hand on Liam’s arm. That made me mad. No one touched my man!

Liam promptly took it off and raised both his arms in surrender. That’s my Alpha! It seemed like they were arguing because Liam pinched the bridge of his nose, but Salina was still smiling at him.

I was about to step out of my hiding place to tell Salina off but the moment I raised my head, my heart clamped. Liam had his hands on her hips. She had her arms around Liam’s neck and her lips… on his. They both had their eyes closed. I immediately hid again, refusing to watch it for a second longer.

My knees felt weak, and before I knew it, tears rolled down my cheeks. That… how could he? They were… all this time, they were…

I couldn’t wrap my mind around what I just saw. I thought they were never together. Wasn’t Salina his first mate’s sister? I thought it was us now. Wasn’t he committed to me? He marked me. He opened himself up to me. I gave myself to him, completely. So why – why would he cheat on me?

Am I not enough for you, Liam?

Was she so beautiful, was he so in love with his first mate that he would do this to me? I understood that I was nowhere close to being her. She was stunning and I wasn’t. She had a wolf, and I didn’t. She was a strong woman… I was trying to be one.

Am I not enough?

Was he lying to me all this time? Making me fall for him just so he could keep his affair with Salina?

My heart tore. Something clawed at it and squeezed it mercilessly that it was getting hard to breathe. I heard the door open and her heels click on the pavement, then the crunching of small pebbles. I hid further into the dark, hoping she wouldn’t notice me when she passed by.

With a hand over my mouth, I breathed in relief when she continued walking past me. I sank on my knees when she was out of sight, the box held out in front of me.

It hurts, Liam. It hurts so much more than getting rejected.

They played me well. I hope they were happy. How could he – how could he when I did everything I could to measure up to everyone’s expectations of me.

Maybe Flynn was right. My sole purpose for living was to atone for my sins. Maybe it wasn’t over yet. The Goddess was still punishing me. I was destined to live my life in penance, never receiving the kind of love my father gave to me. He was the only one who truly ever loved me. He was the only one who truly accepted me.

Head Gamma Aiden Fiora – my father, my best friend, my shoulder to cry on. He was the only one who saw me for me and drove me to become stronger. Now that he was gone, the rest of the world just wanted to use me.

If this was what the Goddess wanted, I condemn it. I glared at the full moon.

For countless nights and mornings, I prayed to You. I believed in You. Do You hear me now, Moon Goddess? I condemn this path You chose for me!

No more. No more mates. No more Alphas.

I loved with all in me and this was what I got in return – pain. My chest ached like my heart wanted to be out. If I could rip it out myself just to stop the pain, I would. He didn’t deserve me.

You jerk. You bastard. You cheater. I love you. I love you so much that the pain of losing you scares me to death.

I wiped my tears with the hem of my shirt. My eyes stung. Taking deep breaths to calm me, I forced a smile on my face.

Look at that.

I still got it. Who knew it was this useful?

I made my way to the mansion with a skip in my step and a grin, and a painfully tight knot in my stomach. He was seated at the foot of the stairs when I opened the door. Immediately, his head shot up and he promptly strode to me.

“Where were you?” he asked worriedly. “Aunty J said she –“

“I wanted to surprise you!” I exclaimed, smiling even more as I pushed the box to him.

“Have you been crying? What’s wrong? Did you get hurt?” He asked the questions in one breath as he balanced the box in one hand and grabbed my shoulder with the other, his eyes roaming all over my body.

I felt disgusted. Those eyes that saw all of me saw all of her.

Treacherous.

That hurt. He didn’t have to pretend he actually cared. Someone should give him an award for best acting. What else did he lie to me about? Did Lexy and Gale know? What about Rigel? Aunty J?

I laughed a little. “I’m fine, Liam. The cake got me all emotional is all.” I reasoned. “Open it. It isn’t much, but I hope you like it.”

“You baked me a cake?” He had a surprised expression on his face. If I hadn’t seen what happened minutes ago, I’d be jumping in joy right now.

I nodded, still smiling, knowing that my voice would give everything away. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close to him. I loved it when we were intimate.

It made me feel protected, safe, and the world faded away. I loved how his scent filled my lungs, knowing it was just for me. When he held me this close to him, it was just the two of us, and nothing else mattered.

Not anymore. It mattered. These arms didn’t want to hold me – they wanted to be with Salina. There was a flowery scent that clung to his shirt, it made me want to vomit. He held me close to him, but it wasn’t just us anymore.

He leaned in to kiss me. I looked to my side to avoid those lips which were kissing Salina just minutes ago. I didn’t want those lying, cheating lips on my skin.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” he asked, holding my jaw and gently urging me to look at him. I couldn’t. I knew if I looked into his gorgeous eyes, I’d reason with myself and forgive him. I’d lie to myself and force myself to be happy with him.

“Anna? What happened? Did someone hurt you?”

Yes, Liam.

Someone did hurt me.

It’s you and even at this very moment, you’re playing innocent.

He gently brushed his fingers on my cheek. I hated the sparks that traveled my skin. It made me sick to my stomach that these hands used to touch me in ways that promised me a lifetime, with him.

“Please talk to me. What’s wrong, Anna?”

His voice pained yet gentle, it awoke feelings of sympathy for him that I immediately squashed. Anger. I should be feeling angry at him right now. Even more so, I was furious. Furious that he lied! He lied to me even when his memories were hidden. He lied to me right in front of his first mate and child. He lied to me right in front of everyone, and I was blinded by my feelings for him to see it.

“Anna, please…”

I couldn’t do it. With both hands, I pushed him on his chest. Then I ran up the stairs with him running after me.

“Anna, please talk to me!” he shouted, now sounding more worried than before.

The tears fell and I bit my lip and ran faster.

I was no match for his speed. He grabbed my arm and spun me around. I saw his eyes soften through tear-filled eyes.

“Who hurt you, Anna?” he asked with a hint of anger. “Is it Salina? Did she do something to you?”

I scoffed. His first guess was Salina. He knew she was here!

Salina did say something during the Alpha Duel. She told me how I’d never been like her sister nor would I ever be like her.

She told me you still loved Sarina and you were just using me to ban her father from your territory.

I defended you, you jerk! I was mad at her for telling lies about you. I told her she was spouting nonsense, that you loved me, even though I knew within myself that I would never be like Sarina.

I’d accepted it, Liam. I knew you still loved her, and I was alright with it because she used to mean the world to you. You mean the world to me. I assumed I was of equal worth to you.

I yanked my arm out of his grasp.

“Stop,” I said weakly.

“You can tell me –“

“I said ‘stop’!” I yelled, shocking myself with the power of my voice.

This is more than enough, Liam.

My heart can’t take anymore. Lies. Betrayal. I can’t… I just can’t…

He tried to grab my hand, but I pulled it back.

“Don’t touch me,” I said firmly.

“Anna, just tell me what’s wrong,” he pleaded.

“Everything!” I shouted in his face then quickly got inside my room and locked the door. My back against the door, I slid down on the floor and hugged my knees. He banged the door on the other side, shouting for me to open the door, asking me what was wrong.

I couldn’t form a single word to reply. My heart was getting stabbed repeatedly, torn into a million tiny pieces with no way of fixing it whole.

You broke me, Liam.

“Please…” he said, his voice breaking. The pain in my chest intensified. He was hurt, too. I could feel it now because of the marks. We mated, and yet he still kissed her. How long had this been going on?

I clutched at my chest and cried. It was all too much…

Liam eventually stopped and all I heard were my own torment. It was my fault. I fell for him, and I fell for him hard.

Finally getting the strength to stand, I wobbled to the bed. Taking a piece of paper and a pen, I wrote a goodbye. Tears dripped onto the paper. I couldn’t help it.

I thought everything was alright now. I finally found a place where I belonged. I was happy with Lexy and Gale and Rigel. I was happy with Liam.

Now I knew why he wouldn’t tell me he loves me. All this time, it was the reverse. It wasn’t I who took up much space in his heart. I was the one taking valuable space for someone else’s. It hurt more than I couldn’t blame him for it.

He loved Sarina. I could never take that away from him, and I accepted it. She was his first mate; it was a devastating loss for him. Seeing Salina, letting her stick around, and even stay in the same room as him – it was his way of coping. He saw his mate in Salina.

He was only with me because their relationship was taboo. I could see it clearly now, and I couldn’t hate him entirely for it because he was just… so full of love for her that… he couldn’t let her go.

He deserved to be happy and so did I.

I swear to Goddess I love you.

But this wasn’t going to work if you couldn’t see a future with me, while I could see the both of us together with a beautiful daughter cradled in your arms years from now.

I didn’t know how long I cried. I hugged his pillow to my chest and cried until no tears fell. When I finally calmed down, I got my phone from the drawer and tapped on a number.

It rang a few seconds before he answered.

“Hey, Bella,” he answered sleepily.

I silently took a breath and licked my lips.

“I’m sorry I woke you,” I whispered.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, yawning.

“I-“I cut myself off as my voice broke.

“Bella, what’s going on?” he asked, sounding wide awake now.

I took deep breaths. I needed my best friend. “Carson –“

“Is it Liam? It’s him, isn’t it? Sit tight, Bella. I’m coming.”

I could only gasp as I fought the tears back. Turned out, I had more in store. “Carson, I need you.”

“I know, Bella. I’m coming. I promise. Don’t hang up.”

“I need you…” I cried.

My father was gone. Carson was the one friend I had left. And soon, I was leaving him too.

“I’m coming, Bella. Did he hurt you? Can you get out?”

My hands shook and the phone fell. Carson was yelling over the phone. I was making him worry. I should answer, but I couldn’t. I clutched at the empty vial that was all I had left of my father. It just hurt too much to talk.