Chapter 60 Forgiving Imperfections

~Anna~

“Please talk to me,” said Alpha Emery. For the last thirty minutes or so, he’d been begging me to talk to him. Why couldn’t he understand that I didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially him! I pulled the covers up to my neck and didn’t reply. He could keep talking for all I care.

“I’m really sorry, Bella,” he repeated. For what – for lying, for kidnapping me, for killing my father? Why did I even stay in the first place? I was free to go. Why didn’t I just up and leave?

Why do I keep getting myself stuck in messed-up situations!

He sighed. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone.”

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, Bella. I’m sorry couldn’t tell you. How could I, knowing you’d hate me for it,” he said softly. “I’m sorry. I just wanted my daughter back.”

I heard the door click close.

I moved out the covers, resting my back against the headboard. Staring at the walls, with the moonlight seeping through the blinds, I let my thoughts wander.

I thought about the days I was growing up – my time with Father, with Alpha Fraser, with Beta Colton, with my best friends, Flynn and Carson. Trained as the next Head Gamma, I learned to fight for myself and to put others before me. It was my duty.

I thought about the day they were taken from us, and what my life was like after. It was hell. Being scorned every day for their deaths, my love for cooking, and Carson risking his position were the two main things that gave me hope. Along with a promise that I’d fulfilled. I returned the Alpha ring, not as his Luna, but as his friend. That should be enough to free me from my promise.

I took a deep breath.

Then, I thought about my days at the Red Claw Pack. They’d been kind to me. Right from the start, they treated me like I was one of them. Me, a stranger! They looked after me like a sister. Lexy, Gale, Rigel – I missed those three. Lexy and Gale fighting over the simple things like children, Rigel being the dirty-mouthed oddball that he was, would cross his arms and watch them with an amused face until he gets annoyed and smacks Gale in the head. In the end, all three would laugh like idiots – actually, it was all four of us laughing like idiots. We’d create a racket that Liam would have to ask us to keep the “noise” down because he had to work.

I missed those days – when we were having fun.

When the pack was under attack, I saw just how strong their bond was. I saw the strength of the pack under their leadership, under his rule. What did I do to deserve him?

He was simply amazing. His pack respected him, and he stuck to his principles. Then I saw the man behind the statue. He was broken, alone, and hurt – just like me. Willingly, he showed me the ugly parts of him. He trusted me enough to let me in…

Why did I ever doubt him? I know what I saw, but he wasn’t that kind of man. He wouldn’t cheat on me. How could I have been blind? So. what if I didn’t hear him say it back - hadn’t he always looked out for me? Even without his memories, he…

A sob escaped my lips.

What have I done?

I promised I’d always stay beside him. I left. I saw what he was like… but I- I still left him.

Liam…

If Father was here, what would he say? If Mother was here, what would she say? I was confused. I understood what happened. I understood their intentions, and yet I was still mad. At the lies. All their lies!

I miss you, Father. If I forgive him, I’m betraying you. But he’s still my father and I can understand why he did those things.

“Goddess, won’t you show me a sign? I don’t what to do. My father killed my father. I’m doubting what I saw my mate do. I just found out my mother loved me, too.”

You have the heart of an Alpha.

What she meant; I had no idea. The only thing I knew was that I was confused, and I didn’t know what to do.

I missed them a lot. I wanted to see him again. I was worried about them. It shouldn’t have taken this long for me to realize that I cared about them regardless of their shortcomings – I was nowhere near perfect myself.

So why did I stay? What is it that I wanted?

For two years, I wanted my freedom. And yet, every time it was presented to me, I turned my back on it.

Why did you do it, Anna?

I don’t know.

Did you regret it?

I let the question ask it itself over and over again in my mind. The outcomes weren’t easy, but…

My lips pulled into a smile.

Moving the covers aside, I got out of bed and headed to the door.

One father. Two fathers.

I am your daughter.

It’d take time – to forgive myself, to forgive him – but I was willing to use that time to heal.

All my life I had been running. I thought that if I wasn’t around them anymore if I left for someplace else, things would be better – then I’d feel better.

I was done running. I was done being afraid. We didn’t have much time left – I didn’t want to die with regrets.

Mother gave her life for mine. Living this gift to the fullest, with no regrets, with people I cared about and cared for me – she would’ve wanted me to be happy.

I wasn’t sure about this Alpha thing. It was something we could decide on later. Right now, I needed to talk to my father, Alpha Emery.

I needed to go back to my mate, to my Alpha.

I needed to go back to my old pack and see Carson, and… maybe talk to Flynn. I had to know why Alpha Fraser hid the truth. I had too many questions that only he could answer.

There was so much I had to do than stay in bed and push them all away.

Running through the hallway, my steps sounded on the cool tiles. Past the library, past mother’s room, down the stairs, and across the living room – I came to a stop. It couldn’t be. This woodland fragrance, fresh and calming, could only belong to him.

I turned around at the sound of footsteps. A gasp escaped my lips.

He stood in the shadows, a tall silhouette.

“Anna,” he whispered, sending a shiver down my spine.

Wha-what is he doing here?