Changing Attitude

Virgínia

Early Monday morning, I was already in possession of a pregnancy test and could verify if I was pregnant or if this was just the result of all the changes that had happened in my life recently, which ended up interfering with my cycle.

But I was not so "lucky" as the test was positive, and I stared for a long time at the object in my hands, thinking about everything that was going to change in my life from that moment on.

" Won't you have some coffee, daughter? " I heard my mother talking on the other side of my bedroom door, which was closed, as it hardly ever happened.

" I'm just finishing getting ready, and I'll be right out, Mom! " I spoke loud enough for her to hear, trying to keep my voice at its normal pitch.

"Let's wait for you, then.”

I deduced that my mother had left and went into despair. This was not the time for a pregnancy! I had so many plans, I wanted to study, make my store an absolute success and do so many other things I was planning.

How could I have breakfast peacefully with my parents, as if nothing had happened? My father was an old-fashioned man who would never forgive me if I just showed up at home pregnant, without ever having introduced a boyfriend.

I didn't even go out to parties, so they didn't even get the impression that I was secretly seeing someone. I was not prepared for what was to come and had no idea where to start.

I dwelt on these thoughts and, with great difficulty, I left my room and joined Mr. Francisco, my father, and Mrs. Beth, my mother. They were wonderful people, and hardworking.

They did everything they could to raise me the best way they could, and if I didn't have the best schools or even little things like a more expensive bicycle or the most modern cell phone, they did everything in their power and always gave plenty of love.

It wasn't fair to my parents that I would now repay them with lies because it was enough to hide what I had done to raise the money for my store so suddenly.

" I am pregnant," I said at once, as I sat down at the table for breakfast.

My parents looked at me as if I had just dropped a bomb, which I had, and I had no way of deducing what they were thinking just from their expressions of complete horror.

" But how could this happen, daughter? " My mother was the first to recover from her fright and was trembling as she asked the question "I know how it happens... I want to know how you let pregnancy happen, in this day and age when you young people are so informed about everything.”

My mother was so nervous that she said everything in jargon, but I understood what she meant and even agreed with her statement.

"I did what had to be done to prevent it, Mom. But it happened.”

I used the same words as she did because sex was a taboo subject in my house, and we never talked about it, not even between Mom and me.

All I learned about it was in school or books and through the internet because sexual orientation was not something my parents sought to teach me.

" Father? " I had to call for my father because Mr. Francisco seemed to be in a state of shock, just staring at us blankly.

" I am... " He seemed to search for the word, and I feared that he would say something that could no longer be undone.

I knew that this was not meant to happen and that this was not the time. Not because I wasn't married or anything like that. But I believed that children should have their parents with them, even if they were not together in a relationship.

However, that doesn't just depend on me in the end. Sometimes the man simply doesn't want to take on that role, and it's up to us to try to make up for that absence and play both the mother and the father roles.

I was preparing myself for exactly that because I had no idea who Murilo was and what he would think about having a child. He might even doubt that the child is his, given how we met and why we ended up having one night of sex.

I looked at my father, who for long minutes just stared at me, thinking, and I waited in anticipation for what he would say, and what came out of his mouth was very painful.

"Disappointed. I am disappointed in you.”

" Francisco! " My mother tried to scold him.

"I'm sorry, woman. But that's what I'm feeling, and I can't control what I'm feeling.”

We were all silent again, not a peaceful silence, but a troubled one, full of unspoken words, but it was better this way. When one's emotions were running high, things were often said that caused great damage.

" I'm going to the store.”

I got up without even eating because I couldn't eat. I went to my room, grabbed my bag with my notebook, and left.

Who knows, when I got back home everything would be calmer, and we could talk more calmly after everyone had been able to analyze the situation better.