15

“Hey beautiful, how was your morning?” Colton slides up behind me and wraps his arms around my shoulder, kissing me on the back of the head before nuzzling in close and calming all my anxious energy with one touch. My grounding force that enables me to set my worries free and I almost melt into a warm puddle of soft limbs. It’s in these reunion moments I realize how badly I miss him all day when we aren’t together.

“Interesting. Carmen sought me out, long story, but I sent your mom to go visit with Tawna a while. She’s not doing so good and we thought it might help. I haven’t had much else to do today except eat, wander the village, be lavished with a ton of gifts I get every time they see me and felt the need to have a nap. I’m so tired today and I have no idea why.” I curl my arms over his and sink back, nestling my head in the crook of his throat and sigh heavily, closing my eyes as I submerge into my own personal heavenly space. Colton’s familiar seductive masculine scent and hot body temperature overpowers my skin and air and further pushes that feeling of being cocooned in paradise.

“Stress, maybe. Carmen, huh… and yet she still lives? Maybe you’re sick” He jests, pulling a hand up to cover my forehead in mock testing that I have a fever and I elbow jab him in the abs lightly.

“Ha, ha! I felt sorry for her…. She seems different.” I state blankly, so not ready to open the can of worms known as my emotions after my encounter with her earlier. I am not one hundred percent certain I even know how I feel about her being here at all.

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve avoided her like the plague since they arrived. I’ve been busy and I just don’t know how to navigate that mess. I’m being a coward.” He exhales against my temple and impulsively slides one of his hands over my breast for a quick grope and then heads for my waist to snuggle in tight. My body tingles at his touch and it ignites that never fading libido that exists between us.

“Stop avoiding her. She’s one of the pack! …. She’s not a threat. I won’t get mad at you for interacting with her because I know it has to happen sooner or later. I don’t think her focus lies with us anymore anyway, and she seems lost somehow. I got the impression that you and I are way low on her list of things to fuck up.” Sometimes I can’t fault my mate’s loyalty, and I know the only reason he’s avoiding her is in case it upsets me. He’s transparent as glass sometimes.

I trust him, trust our bond and I know he harbors no kind of romantic feelings for her anymore so really, logically, I shouldn’t have any kind of jealousy over her. She needs an alpha who cares, she needs to feel she belongs with these people and if Colton showing her a little kindness does that, then I am okay with it, I guess. I mean, I may feel weird at first but I’m sure as it happens more frequently I might normalize it and no longer care. I don’t doubt where his heart lies; he’s shown me for the last six months how much he loves me, and I have absolutely nothing to worry about in terms of his ex being on scene again. He’s mine, he always will be. Our bond is the strongest thing in this world. Just look at Sierra…. even when you don’t want it, it still doesn’t die.

“Well, you’ve certainly let it sink in since this morning, haven’t you? I won’t avoid her; I just think it’s better to not spend too much time around her. It’s only been a few months and I don’t want you feeling insecure or her getting any kind of wrong signals.” Colton nuzzles my neck expertly and my knees weaken with his attentions as he surrounds me with sexy affection in a bid to make the topic less tense.

“What’s her story anyway. I always took her for spoiled and conceited, but I don’t know… she seems so vulnerable now. It’s like I am seeing a different girl and I wonder if maybe it was always there, and I never noticed it before.” I push my butt into his groin to let him know his kisses down my neck are good, better than, and he slides my dress across my shoulder a little to access more skin, tracing his lips over my nape and across the skin gently. He sets me on fire, and I close my eyes and have to fight the moan deep in my throat as I surrender to tingles and goosebumps all over.

“Carmen has always been hard to read and figure out…. An enigma in a way. Her dad mated up for opportunity and not love which I guess started the whole mess of her family. Her mom isn’t exactly one of the strongest of femmes, or capable, but her bloodline is one of the oldest and the pairing put him in my father’s sights. Marco wanted a son, Tawna gave him a girl, and they have been a fractured dysfunctional family since. I know from things my father has said that he doesn’t put any effort into his own family; he feels they weigh him down and make him look bad.”

“Hmmm” I half answer, too focused on his breath trailing by my ear and my hair stands on end as he grazes his lip over the lobe.

“Carmen doesn’t really gel with others because of who her dad is; she was always just this kid in the shadows who tried so hard to be seen and accepted, but the pack avoided. Everyone knows he’s my dad’s beta so there was a fear of getting near her and I guess over the years she developed this tough hard outer shell like she didn’t really care. That she was better than everyone and she looked down on all of us. The attitude, the stroppy behavior, all of it to hide the fact she really hasn’t got anyone, but she’s not really a bad person, not when you get to know her more. She’s lonely and insecure and she keeps everyone at arm’s length.” Colton carries on, both with his words and his gentle assault on my senses, his hands skimming my waist and abdomen and he manages to somehow hug me even closer.

“She needs a friend, maybe? Someone to get through and really see her?” I try to stay on topic but he’s making it hard.

“I dated her for two years and I didn’t ever get past the mask, but I guess I was the closest other than her mom. I saw glimpses but no one gets in, I doubt they ever will.”

What he says makes my heart ache and instantly sobers my sizzling hormones as I think about the reality of her existence. I was like her once. Alone, keeping people out, and looking back, it was that saddest part of my life.

“I feel bad the way it went, how it ended and that I hurt her and walked away from it all. I think being your dad’s biggest disappointment in life has to have left its mark and I never gave a second thought to walking off with my new pack and leaving her behind. My focus was on you, I didn’t think what her staying would be like. I guess I didn’t think that without me and the subs, she was back to being alone.” Colton’s tone matches my newly found internal heaviness and he stops his slow tease and just hugs me tightly instead. His arms coming around my lower rib cage and his face is snuggled against my neck and shoulder.

“Did you ever think about marking her? Two years is a long time to be paired up without marking.” I ask curiously, not because I want to torture myself or anything, but I always wondered what held him back and thinking about it now, I want to know. It’s normal in a pairing for the male to make the move and ask to mate up, femmes don’t tend to do it or have a say until they are asked. Such is the old-world nature of our pairings. A world where men still rule, and females submit. He obviously cared about her, but yet he never made a move to mate with her properly.