62

I can’t see him… I can’t let him sway me, or touch me, or get close. My heart will betray me if I do.

It’s followed by the squeak of one of the cleaning carts and I exhale in relief when it rolls right on by my room and fades into the distance. My body weak with relief, and I sprawl out star shaped on my bed, exhaling so heavily I let out a whoosh noise and then moan at my own stupid despair.

Stop freaking out, Alora. You’re going to get yourself in such a mess and not be able to follow through. Relax, breathe, count.

I put everything into doing just that, remember the techniques I used to use when I stayed in the home and couldn’t relax or sleep on nights when everything got to me too much. I picture a meadow, a sweet-scented field full of pretty flowers, and one by one as I walk through them, I count the heads, picking them out, touching them as I go. I visualize the colors, the feel of their softy silky petals on my fingers, and the way the subtle scent blows around on the breeze. Coming to me in mixed smells as they all dance and sway in ripples. It helps me drift into a calmer state of mind. The noise of nature drowning out everything else in my mind’s eye. If I can just focus my energy for a little while longer, then I can get through this. Once I’m out of here and on my way, it’ll be easier.

It seems to work, I drift into a semi hazy state of rest and before I know it, an hour or more has passed and it’s getting dull outside.

I come to, aware I’ve lost time and must have slept, blinking at the sudden light change of the space around me and check the clock on my wall. I’m shocked that it’s been more than a couple of hours since I came up here already. I guess I spent a long time in the shower to begin with and I hop up woozily, pacing to bring the nerves back in line that are firing up and wakening my senses.

It’s early yet, but I don’t think I have it in me to wait any longer, and I stalk to my window to look out over the back of the pack house. It’s deserted back here, still too light for the guards to take up position and maybe it’s a sign I shouldn’t wait until the dusk hour. Maybe too many will be out there, and I might not be able to make up excuses if I get stopped trying to make my way out. Everyone should be running around, doing chores right now, so I might actually have a better chance if I do it now.

A quick plan comes to mind, and I turn, picking up my damp towels from the laundry and wrap them haphazardly around my backpack, adding my sweats so they look like a bundle of dirty clothes. I had intended scaling down my window later if I could, but this way I can walk through the house, as though I’m late for laundry duty. If anyone sees me then I’m just collecting clothes and I can use the exit in the hall before the laundry room to access the rear of the house. It’s a solid plan, and I don’t waste time in pulling myself together.

I bundle my faux pile up in my arms, checking in the new mirror that was hung in here the other day to see if my backpack is on show. Satisfied it isn’t, I head to the door, take one last look around my room, and take a deep steadying breath.

It’s time to do this.

I use one hand to haul it open, slide out, and head left towards the back stair down to the first floor. The one that’s closest to my door and brings me out in the same narrow corridor that leads to the back exit and the laundry door. It’s perfect. I don’t know why I didn’t click on this before and maybe this is the fates trying to make up for messing with me.

I pass a few people who are lugging carts and hoovers from room to room and keep my head down, not really noticed by them, wishing I’d worn a hoody so I could pull it up, but it’s too late now. I stick on my route, turn into the stair, scale it in seconds in hyper speed and then head along the final corridor to freedom.

Soon as I get near the door I look around, see no one is out here despite the hustle and bustle and steam coming from the nearby closed door to laundry, and head out the back door instead. No one is back here either, oddly. It’s either good fortune, or someone up there is giving me a break. I’m aware a lot of windows look this way though and I’m still not free and clear.

I unwrap my bag, pull it onto my back and kick my dirty clothes and towels in a nearby bush. Look around before sticking up against the house, back sliding along the harsh brickwork, eyes darting all around me to check no one is around. I almost crawl under the window to the room I’m meant to be in right now, holding my breath every inch of the way. Heartbeat’s crazy fast and racing, my breaths shallow and hurried. My face damp with perspiration because I’m scared to hell of being caught and marched to Juan Santo.

I stick in the flower beds, stepping over them so I don’t trip, up tight to the walls, and duck under every window I get to. Taking it slow, trying to remain silent as I do, and battling my own shaking limbs. I’m heading for the tree line which runs one side of the manor and once I get in there, I can run as fast as my body allows me, relatively unseen in its dense close-knit woods. It extends for a couple of miles right out of the valley and into the farmlands beyond. I can’t turn as I don’t want to ruin my clothes now, I only have two full outfits, but I should be able to speed out without doing it.

I hold my breath when a door swings open behind me, freezing in place, half crouched, and eyes widening in horror. I glance back, seeing it swing out into view and my heart skips a beat, sweat rolling down my forehead from my hairline. No one comes out, though a voice waves my way closer than I expected.

“Yeah, leave it open, it’s like a god damn sauna in here. It’s inhumane making us work in this shit for hours on end.” I don’t recognize the female voice and whoever opened the door mumbles in response, retreating inside, and fading in volume level.

I exhale, relaxing heavily, thinking my legs might give out with that little moment of shock, move my ass back into gear and run crawl the rest of the way, feeling lightheaded.

As soon as I hit the tree line, I pull myself behind the biggest trunk I can find and use it as a viewpoint to check if anyone saw me come over here. Taking a much-needed minute to pull myself together, breathe properly, and lean up against the rough bark until I regain my strength, and the wobbliness in my leg’s fade. I check my surroundings, surprised that there is literally no one at all out here, but as Juan has made it clear for days the vampires can’t be out in daylight, I guess that’s why. Everyone is busy doing what they’re meant to be doing, and I can hear voices on the wind from the front of the manor, hinting that a lot of those with no chore work are assembled in the front field. I won’t get another chance like this.

I put my head down, turn into the direction I want to go and set my legs in motion with no intention of slowing down, stopping, or looking back, until there is at least five miles between me and Radstone. I feel like I may have a heart attack as soon as I set in motion, but I keep one strong thought at the center of my mind.

I’m finally free…. don’t let up until I’m sure of it.