CHAPTER 35

Alma said this could be a bad idea. But, in fairness, she thought it could be a freaking amazing idea, too. I’m choosing to go with the “amazing idea” theory because I just can’t leave things the way we did. I can’t stop thinking of the way Alex made me feel. And I’m not talking just pleasure. I’m talking about the fact that he made me feel gorgeous and revered. I felt sexy as hell with him, and I don’t remember feeling that way for a very long time. He peeled back a layer of my metaphorical sexual onion. It feels raw and awkwardly new, and I need to figure out what to do with it.

I also need to figure out what to do with Alexander.

He was clearly horrified to have inadvertently crossed a line with me, but when I woke up this morning, I had to think to myself… so what? It wasn’t intentional, and even if it was, there is no fault because we did nothing wrong. We’re both adults and free to make those choices.

So my visit to The Dignitary Discretion Hotel Casino, which is Alexander’s hotel and casino, is to make sure he’s okay and isn’t wallowing in regret. Alex and Noel are as tight as blood brothers. It would stand to reason Alex feels the “bro code” has been violated. As such, my purpose here is to make sure his guilt is assuaged and he doesn’t feel bad about supposedly betraying Noel.

I stare up at the monstrous building made of chrome and glass, trying ignore my conscience sneering at me.

Okay, who am I kidding? I’m here because I want more of Alex. Peter may have dinged my self-esteem when it comes to my sexual prowess, but he didn’t damage my overall ego. There’s enough of it left intact, coupled with the fact Alex has awoken something within me that I simply want more of.

Squaring my shoulders, I march into The Dignitary Discretion Hotel Casino and head straight for the concierge desk. I haven’t been in this casino before. Hell, I haven’t been in hardly any of them. Sure, I’d only grown up about forty-five minutes away, but gambling and all-you-can-eat buffets held no interest to me.

From Noel bragging about his best friend over the years, I knew Alex orchestrated the purchase of the land, then pulled together financing with two other partners to build this casino. It’s one of the most popular on the strip, boasting five-star dining, old-world elegance, and superior customer service. Again, all this from Noel, but honestly… I’m so proud of Alex, too. We may have lost touch over the years, but I’ll never forget all the ways in which he acted as a big brother to me.

Ick.

Okay… that’s gross. Thinking of Alexander like a brother.

I scrub my mind clean of that thought and demand myself never to do that again.

Rather, I’ll never forget all the ways in which Alex provided me friendship and support in my formative years.

Yes… much better.

“Can I help you?” a man behind the concierge desk asks with a genuine and friendly smile. Not snooty as I would expect in a fancy hotel, and I guess that goes to the superior customer service The Dignitary Discretion Hotel Casino strives for.

“Yes… hi,” I say as I nervously tuck my hair behind my ears on both sides. “I need to see Mr. Levine. How do I go about getting access to his apartment?”

Noel told me some time ago that Alexander lives here.

The concierge never loses his friendly smile, but a single eyebrow arches high at my temerity.

“Oh, gosh,” I stammer. “That came out stalkerish. Mr. Levine… I mean, Alexander… and I are longtime friends. He used to babysit me.”

“Your name?” the man asks as he pulls up something on his computer.

“Jasmine Poarch.”

After a moment of scanning, he looks up at me. “Your name isn’t on the approved list.”

“Well, he’s not exactly expecting me.”

“I’m sorry, Miss Poarch,” he says with true regret in his voice. “But our policy is strict. No one gets up to the private penthouse without their name on the list.”

I lean on the desk with one elbow and lower my voice. “Just out of curiosity… are there any women on that list?”

The eyebrow shoots up again.

“No, wait,” I say hastily as I hold my palms toward him in a silent plea to not process my last request either mentally or on the computer. “That’s totally stalkerish, and I didn’t mean that.”

“Miss Poarch,” the concierge says, now with a hint of annoyance. “Perhaps you’d like to leave a message? I can get it up to Mr. Levine today and he can call you.”

“No, I need to see him now,” I tell him firmly. “And I swear it’s not to cook a rabbit in a pot on his stove. Can you please just call up to his apartment?”

“That’s not our policy—”

“Look,” I snap as I lean across the desk slightly. “I’m a lifelong friend of Alex’s. My brother is his best friend. We lost touch for a few years, but we ran into each other last night. I really need to talk to him about something that happened last night, and I’m not leaving this hotel until you call up to his apartment.”

The eyebrow doesn’t arch but it does draw inward to meet its match on the other side as he considers what I just said.

“I swear to you,” and here I pause to look at his name tag, “Benedict. Please just call him. He won’t be mad.”

With a sigh, he relents and picks up the phone receiver, punching in a five-digit number. After a pause, he says, “Mr. Levine… I’m very sorry to disturb you, sir, but there’s a Miss Jasmine Poarch here to see you. She says she’s a longtime friend.”

I watch as Benedict listens, but I can’t gauge what’s being said as his face remains blank. Finally, he says, “Very good, sir.”

I take this to mean I’ll be getting an escort to the penthouse suite, but Benedict replaces the receiver and says, “I’m sorry, Miss Poarch. But Mr. Alexander told me to tell you he’s busy and can’t receive you right now.”

My eyes narrow at Benedict. “I don’t believe you. Call back and let me talk to him.”

“I assure you, I just talked to him and that’s what he said.”

“Call him back,” I order as I point to the phone.

“I can’t,” he says almost with a wail. “If I do, he’ll fire me.”

Okay, that hits home. I don’t want to get anyone in trouble, so I say, “Fine. Give me just a moment.”

I take a few steps away from the concierge desk and pull my iPhone out. I shoot off a quick text to Noel. What’s Alex’s phone number?

I wait a few moments, but I know Noel is awake in San Francisco at this hour. His phone is always on, and he never ignores a text from me.

He responds with the number before I can even start to tap my foot with impatience, adding on, Why?

I hate the lie, but I write back, Came to Vegas for the day. Thought I’d see if he could meet up for lunch. Haven’t seen him in years.

Cool, he writes back. Tell him I said, “what’s up, douche?”

I roll my eyes as I text back, Real mature. Love ya. Later.

After I save the number to my contacts, I open a new text to Alex. Let me up to see you or I’m going straight back to The Sinful Night Club to satisfy some further curiosities I have.

I hit send and then walk back to the concierge desk. I merely lean one elbow on it and watch Benedict with a silent smile. The phone rings about ten seconds after that.

Benedict’s eyes fly to mine as he listens, and then says, “Yes, sir. Right away.”

When he replaces the receiver, he says, “I’m to show you to the penthouse elevator.”

“Thank you, Benedict,” I say brightly.

He scurries out from behind his desk, and I follow him through the main floor of the casino to a locked door that he opens with a security card. This leads to an elevator that opens when he pushes a button, and then with another swipe of his card on the interior, he pushes a button that says Penthouse Suite.

Nice.

Benedict gives me a smile before he backs out of the elevator and the doors close.

I have no clue how tall The Dignitary Discretion Hotel Casino is, but I’m guessing twenty floors or so. The ride up is swift, though, as there are no floors underneath to stop at.

When the doors open, I’m momentarily stunned to be looking at a living room, as I hadn’t expected the elevator to open right into Alexander’s apartment.

“This better be good, Jasmine,” Alex growls, and I turn to see him laying on a couch to my left with a tennis ball in his hand. He tosses the ball up casually and catches it. He tilts his head my way, one leg laying straight, the other propped up casually.

And wow… he looks good in casual. Just a pair of track pants and a t-shirt that’s not overly tight but fits his form nicely. His feet are bare and the top half of his long hair is pulled back in a ponytail.

“What are you doing?” I ask instead. “Brooding?”

“Not in the mood for your sass,” he mutters as he sits up and puts the tennis ball on the coffee table. He plants both feet on the ground and props his elbows on his thighs to watch me with a flat expression. “Had enough of it during your tween years.”

“Stop it,” I say swiftly.

“Stop what?”

“Stop talking about me as if I’m a kid to you,” I tell him.

“But for the years I was around you, you were a kid,” he reminds me. “That’s how I remember you best.”

“Liar,” I say softly as I walk toward him. “You remember me best by what we did last night.”

Alex’s jaw tightens as he watches me come closer.

“I’m curious,” I continue as I come to a stop on the other side of the coffee table. “Had you ever thought about me in a dirty way before last night?”

A muscle starts jumping right where his jaw meets his ear. The flash of guilt in his eyes and his silence tells me he did. A flood of triumph and desire courses through me as I realize that last night wasn’t just a fluke.

“Alex,” I say as I take a step around the coffee table.

“Don’t,” he snaps at me as he stands swiftly from the couch and moves the opposite way to keep the table between us. “Just don’t come near me.”

I blink at him in surprise. For a moment, I think I might have made an unwise decision. Maybe Peter did more damage to my self-esteem than I had originally thought, because my first reaction is Alex is keeping me at bay because last night was a fluke and he’s repulsed by me.

I flush with embarrassment and take two steps backward. “Um… I think I might have—”

“Christ,” Alex snarls as he rounds the coffee table and takes me by my shoulders. “Don’t get it in your head that you did anything wrong last night. I can see it written all over your face. You are the sexiest thing I think I’ve ever laid my eyes on, but Jas… you and I are not going to happen again. Ever.”

“I’m the sexiest thing you’ve ever laid eyes on, but you don’t want me?” I ask with uncertainty because I am beyond confused.

Alex closes his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath in that flares his nostrils wide. When he releases it, his eyes open to pin me in place. “You are Noel’s little sister and I just can’t.”

“But that’s stupid—”

“It’s not,” he says softly but with absolute surety.

“I don’t get it. You’ll have to do better than that because we are both adults. I need a better explanation, Alex, because what we did last night… I never—”

“Just don’t,” he snaps again as he spins away. “I don’t need the reminder.”

“Was it bad?” I ask, because that’s the way he’s acting right this moment. Good God, he’s confusing the shit out of me.

Alex looks over his shoulders at me, shooting me an exasperated look. “That’s about the dumbest question you’ve ever asked me, and trust me… you had some stupid ones growing up.”

I take my own deep breath, trying to calm my nerves and my annoyance. “Okay… please just tell me why me being Noel’s sister should stop us from having a relationship?”

“I don’t do relationships,” he says icily. “Only no-strings fucking.”

“I’m down with that,” I say with a shrug. Truly that’s not really the way I operate as I’m more of a traditional girl, but hey… my husband kicked me out of our house so maybe I need to reevaluate my personal norms.

“God, Jasmine,” Alex says with a pleading voice. “Why can’t you just accept—”

“I’ll accept it if you give me a good reason, Alex,” I tell him with sincerity. “Just take a few moments and explain it to me. We’re both adults.”

“Fine,” he says as he jerks his head toward a chair that sits adjacent to the couch. I take a seat there as he silently requested. He sits back down on the couch, elbows on his knees as he looks me right in the eye. “Noel is more than my best friend. He’s like a brother to me.”

“I get that,” I say quickly. “Your parents did more raising of him than my dad did.”

Alex nods. “But that’s not the only reason, Jas. I watched you grow up. No, I more than watched. I had a hand in helping you to grow up. Every time Noel had to watch you, I was there, too. I watched you learn to crawl and then walk. I watched you get scraped knees, play with dolls, and score soccer goals. Christ, you even made Noel and me have tea parties with you. Then I watched you develop into a beautiful girl who crushed on boys along with Alma. I watched your heart get broken, and I beat two guys who hurt you to bloody pulps. Yes, Noel’s like a brother to me, but Jas… you’re like a sister, and I just can’t.”

Complete disappointment floods through me as I had not considered this at all. I thought this was a bro thing, which I can argue against all day long. Noel would never begrudge me a relationship with Alexander, assuming Alex was open to one. He has made me question that, but first…

“When was the first time you had a dirty thought about me?” I ask, changing the conversation to throw him a little off balance.

Never in my life have I seen Alex embarrassed. First, it would be hard to tell given his olive skin—passed down to him by his Greek mother—but second… Alex is just one of the most self-possessed people I know. He doesn’t blush.

Except right now, I can see red clearly staining his cheeks.

“When?” I press upon him.

“Doesn’t matter,” he says as he stands abruptly from the couch. “You wanted an explanation and I gave it to you. I need you to accept it and move on from this, Jas. What happened last night was amazing. You’re amazing and Peter is wrong about you. But it’s not going to be me who helps you along this journey of self-discovery. It can’t be me.”

I don’t stand right away, but merely study him for a moment so I can assess how strongly he believes his own words. Judging by the hard set to his jaw and the concrete determination focused right on me, I’m guessing he believes it deeply.

“Fine,” I say as I stand up and walk toward the elevator. “I just hope it’s not awkward if we run into each other at The Sinful Night Club again.”

“It won’t be,” he grits out, the muscle in his cheek jumping again.

Hmm… I thought that little threat might get him to budge, but he’s calling my supposed bluff.

Here’s the thing, though. Alex hasn’t seen me for a long time. I’ve grown in ways he’d have no idea about. He’s judging me based on an image of a little girl.

What he doesn’t know is that I don’t bluff. If I say I’m going to do something, I do it.

I give him a bright smile as I step backward into the elevator and push the one and only button available. “Good. But if you’re in any way anxious about it, I’d avoid The Orgy Room tonight. That’s the room I want to try out next.”

The doors slide shut, and I smile at the fury on Alex’s face.