VANQUISH THE GLOOM

The tensed atmosphere inside Lorelei's room was making my skin crawl. My best friend is just lying on the hospital bed with dazed look on her face. Luther is just behind me, both of us are just watching her.

Just an hour ago, Lorelei woke up, and I immediately went to her room. My mother tried to stop me because I wasn't fully recovered yet but I was really determined to checked on her.

It's been almost twenty minutes since Luther and I were her but Lorelei was just silent the whole time. Her parents told us that she did not talk to them either the moment she woke up.

I heaved out a sigh and stand up. I guess this is not the right time yet to ask her questions.

I pat Lorelei's shoulder. "We'll get going now. Have an enough rest, Lei. I will visit you again tomorrow."

I gave Luther a small nod, beckoning him to follow me outside. But before I could even open the door, Lorelei suddenly speaks.

"It's my fault."

Luther and I exchange bewildered glances. We turn around and look at her with confusion. I saw how tears pooled on her eyes.

"If only I know that this will happen, I could've done something."

I walk towards her and gently wipe her tears using my thumb. "Lei? What are you saying? What happened last night was not your fault, alright? It was beyond your control," I comforted her.

She shook her head and look at me. She's trying to muffle her cries. "I could've done something to prevent this from happening, Lauren. But I was too scared."

The growing confusion inside me intensifies. I did not respond and just let her talk.

She breathed deep, as if gathering her guts and courage together. "I met Astreia years ago, when I was still in primary school. She became our classmate when we were in elementary. She was a silent and distant person."

"The feud between her and Amber started when Uncle Atticus, Amber's father, had a secret affair with Astreia's mother. From that day forward, she made her life a living hell. Of course, I was against that idea since I believe that Astreia has nothing to do with her mother's misdeed. But I could only apologized to her in behalf of my friend."

I nod my head, remembering my conversation with detective Alessandro and Luther.

"When Astreia suddenly disappeared because of the scandal in which she was involved, everything went back to normal. But that's what we thought. Months after that, one of our friend, Summer, was found bathing on her own blood on Gertrude building. No one saw the person behind that incident-" She closes her eyes for a moment before looking at me. "aside from me. I know who shot her that made her comatose for almost a year."

Shock will be an understatement to describe my expression. It was a bolt from the blue! Is this the reason why she kept on avoiding my questions about their class' past?

"W-Who tried to kill her?" I asked, my voice trembling.

She avoided my gaze. "It was Amber. She saw her as a competition who would tarnish her perfect pristine life. She stabbed her in the back and thrown their friendship because Amber thought that Summer could be a possible hindrance on her endeavor to be the best."

Luther stiffened behind me. I understand his reaction because even I was surprised. I want to ask her questions, but I keep my mouth shut.

Lorelei is fidgeting her finger and biting the skin of her lips, a habit that she always does whenever she's nervous.

"I kept my mouth shut. I did not tell anyone neither confront her. Amber was my first friend. And stupid and unreasonable this may sound, but I valued our friendship too much to the point that I turned a blind eye on the heinous crime she had committed. I tried so hard to forgot the horrifying scene I have witnessed."

I want to burst out in anger. She's right, that was preposterous. A genuine friendship should not tolerate each one's mistake, especially if it can destroy someone's life. But who am I to chastise her? I also have a terrible past and committed the same, pitiful mistake.

I shrugged those thoughts away and continue listening to Lorelei.

"I thought that would be the last. I thought I have seen the worst in them, but I was wrong." She paused to fill her lungs with air. "Astreia came back, and all of us had no idea why. To my surprise, Amber did not even bat an eye towards her anymore, probably because the fragments of her family that was once on the verge of collapsing fall back in the right places. Her parents reconciled. We thought that everything was going just fine. But one time, Amber told us that her mother left them, and she puts the blame on Astreia. She was beyond furious, her mind was clouded with anger and clamor to discard Astreia."

"I tried to stop them, Lauren. I tried to put some senses in her mind," she uttered those words as if she's begging me to believe her. I hold her hands and gently squeezed it. "But she was already consumed with her emotions. When I learned about their plans, I was too late, Lauren. Astreia was already dead before I could even save her."

She couldn't control her tears from falling right now. This is the first time that I have seen my best friend being an emotional-wreck.

"But you know what's worse?" Lei laughed bitterly. "Once again, I turned my back on what's right and just. I turned a deaf ear on the cries and pleas of her mother. I chose our friendship over my morals. That's how much of terrible person I am."

I tighten my grip on her hands, telling her that I'm not judging her. I tried to understand her situation.

"That's the reason why I can't help but to blame myself for what happened. I could've done something for Summer and Astreia, to help them get the justice that they deserve. Maybe everything will not turn out like t-this."

"No." Luther suddenly intervened. He has a stoic expression on his face. "Even if you did that, I don't think the outcome will change. Those people are clamoring for a bloody and  brutal revenge, Lei. Do you seriously think that they will be contented sending your classmates behind bars? Absolutely no."

"They don't want to assume the responsibility of making your classmates pay for the crime they committed in the terrible justice system that we have that is manipulated by money and power. Imprisoning them will not kill the rage burning inside them. They wanted to punish them the same way they tormented Astreia."

I nod my head. What Luther said makes sense. Lorelei ponder with her thoughts.

I smiled subtly. "And I understand you, Lei. You were just caught up in the situation. Wallowing in resentment and letting your guilt drown you in the ocean of despair will not help you neither it will change the reality. What's more important is that, you learned your lesson and will not commit the same mistake again."

She slowly nod her head. "I guess you and Luther are right. Thank you, Lauren."

My lips curved into a smile. "You're always welcome." I stand up from my seat. "Rest now, Lei. I'll be back on my room now, my mother is now furious for sure," I said that earned a chuckle from her.

Luther escorted me outside. While walking towards my room, I asked him.

"How did you find us when last night by the way?"

He gave me a short glance. "Lucas told us."

I arched a brow. "Wait what? Lucas?!"

He nodded. "Yeah, we tried tracing your  location but your GPS was off. Then Lucas appeared out of the blue and told us your possible whereabouts."

His answer did not alleviate my confusion. "How did he know?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know either. I think it would be better if you will ask him personally."

•••••

It was really a surprise that this man visited me. I don't know if I should be happy that he's somewhat concern of my welfare or get annoyed because he's just reading a book.

I throw him a lemon that hits his face. He glared at me but I just rolled my eyes.

"Seriously, did you come here just to read your precious book?"

He fixed his glasses. "It's none of your business, woman. And besides, can't you just be grateful that I visited you?"

I clapped my hands. "Wow! Thank you! Very much appreciated!" I said scornfully.

He shook his head. "You're so loud."

Silence once again reign between me and Lucas. Yeah, he visited me, much to my surprise. I suddenly remember my conversation yesterday with Luther.

"Lucas," I called his name. He arched a brow. I sighed and show a serious face. "How did you know that place? The house where they brought us." I bit the skin of my lips. "H-How are you connected to them?" I asked carefully.

He narrowed his gaze. "Are you suspecting me?"

My eyes widened. I wave my hands defensively. "No! No! Please don't get me wrong! I'm just wondering."

He coldly stared at me for a few moment. "Because I know their plans."

My forehead creased. I swallowed the lump blocking my throat. "So you know who the killers are all along?"

He nodded his head. I couldn't believe it!

"W-Why didn't you tell us? Or the police? Y-You could've save our classmates!"

He laughs humorlessly. "Why would I even save them? Their lives are none of my business, Lauren."

Anger crept up my chest. "W-What the-"

"They deserve it." He cuts me off. "I won't risk my life just save those monsters from the wrath of people they have inflicted anguish on. What happened to them is the consequences of their reckless actions."

He stared at me as if he's staring at the depth of my soul.

"I don't want it to happen either, but it has to happen. Their death is the only way to pacify the blazing rage of those tormented souls seeking for revenge."

•••••

After some days, I and Lorelei were discharged from the hospital. We only stayed there for a short time because aside from minor scratches, we did not receive any major and fatal injuries. Alexandria and Pierce, on the other hand, is still admitted on the hospital.

What happened that night causes a ruckus on the entire society. The incident became the headlines of several news report. It became the talk of the town. Some reporters actually tried to get a scoop from us considering that we're involved in the incident, but I refused. I don't think I have the courage to share to the public the gloomy side of our class. They may have committed transgressions and unforgivable sins, but it's not my own story to tell.

According to Luther, Summer, Aeron and Astreia were convicted for murder. I have no idea what else happened to them. Though I understand their reasons for their revenge, I still can't accept that they chose bloodshed to relieve the pain they have experienced.

Furthermore, the incident serves as the bridge to reopen the cases of Astreia and her mother. Detective Alessandro Davien was actually the one who initiated the re-investigation. The whole town was surprised when Atticus Smith, Amber's father, convicted himself and admitted all his crimes. He is a prominent person in the business world, that's why his case causes a clamor. His statements during the hearing of his case clarifies all the questions left in my mind.

I was beyond furious! He was the main reason why all of those nightmares happened! He is to blame for everything!

If only he's a good father to Amber, then his daughter would not feel insecure and threatened. Her fear of losing pushed her to almost kill Summer. If only he's a good husband, their family would still be intact and his wife would not leave them. There would be no enraged Amber who blamed Astreia for everything.

However, that doesn't justify Amber's reckless actions. If only she tried asking, then she would not misunderstood everything. If only she did not let her emotions clouded her decisions, she might see the real enemy, her own father. And lastly, if only the people around her that she considered her friends lead her to the right path, then everything would not be this messy.

Astreia and her mother was the victims of the wickedness of that obnoxious man. Asther lost both of her love ones, and the only way she saw to avenge her affliction was killing them.

"I already lost count on how many times you sighed in less than an hour."

I gave Lorelei a short glance. "I'm just a bit nervous. I don't know what to tell her."

She smiled at me and squeezed my hands gently. "You can do it, Lauren. Just speak your heart out."

I smiled back. "Thank you, Lei. It took you several chapters to say something decent and nice," I joked to lighten up the atmosphere.

She rolled her eyes that made me chuckled. She focuses her attention on the road.

Almost two months passed, I spend those days and weeks pondering with the circumstances we experienced. And of course, I already told Lei about my darkest secret. I want us to be more open and transparent with each other now.

It wasn't easy. Sometimes, I would find myself crying inside my room while reminiscing everything. The deaths of my classmates leave a big impact on my life. We may not have lots of good and beautiful memories together, Amber and I may have started on the wrong foot, but I treasure them, specially him.

I was pulled out from my trance when the car stops. I turned my attention to the familiar house in front of us.

I swallowed a lump. The sweat forming in my forehead is cold. I feel like something is blocking my throat.

"Hey." I felt Lorelei's soft hands on my cheeks. She's smiling while looking at me. She seemed to noticed the nervousness on my blanched face. "No matter what happens today, you will always have me, okay? It's time to face our fears."

I nod my head and mouthed a silent 'thank you'. She's right. I can't keep running away from the past. I need to face it in order to move forward.

The cold breeze of October brushes against my face along with the warm rays of the sun. I filled my lungs with air as I stood in front of the open gate. Their house did not change even a bit. It still looks warm and welcoming.

I smiled as memories start to flood my mind. My gaze went to the familiar small playground where we used to play. To their garden filled with different types of beautiful flowers that was once our sanctuary. It feels so nostalgic.

How could I abandon those beautiful memories? How could I relinquish the person who stayed with even in the lowest point of my life?

Despite my apprehension and the shaking of my knees, I walk towards the door. I heave out a sigh and knock. It didn't take long when I heard running footsteps towards my direction.

My breathing hitched when someone finally opens the door.

"What are you--l Lauren?!"

My eyes brimmed with tears while I'm staring at her. I can't control the overwhelming emotions inside me anymore.

"Rheign."

The silence between us is surprisingly calming. We're currently sitting on their small garden. This is one of my favorite spot in their house before. The way the leaves and petals of the flowers dance in harmony along with the wind looks so tranquilizing. The gentle and cold breeze brings peace and serenity.

"How are you, Lauren?" Rheign asks while staring at the azure sky.

I smiled subtly though she's not looking at me. "I'm still recovering from the recent incident, but I'm doing good."

She looked at me and showed a consoling smile. "I heard about that incident. I'm sorry for the loss of your classmates."

I shake my head. "Thank you, Rheign." I stared at her for a moment. "Y-you? H-how are you?"

She averted her gaze and closes her eyes as if reminiscing something. "Life has been so rough on me for the past years."

I bit my lips. "I'm sorry. I know I'm one of the reason behind your sufferings," I uttered.

She breathed deep. "I was accused of something I did not even do. My peaceful life turned up side down. I tried to clean my name, but no one believed me. But you know what hurts me more?" She gave me a sad glance. "That the person I trusted the most betrayed me. I was mad at you. For years, I keep on asking myself what was wrong with me? What was my shortcomings as a friend?"

She wipes the tears that escaped her eyes. There is a gentle beam on her face again. "I was mad at you. But you know what? I learned to forgive you though you're not asking for forgiveness. I thought to myself that if I let my anger gets the best of me, I will forever be stuck on that dark moment of my life. I don't want to wallow in despair, because that would not help me to move forward and reach greater heights. I discarded all the anger in my heart."

Tears started falling from my eyes. Emotions are overflowing inside me. "I'm sorry, Rheign. I'm sorry if I failed you. I'm sorry if I chose my fear over our friendship. I'm sorry..."

I've been keeping all of this for the past years already. I tried to forget the terrible mistake I have done, but they are right, you can't always hide.

I thought that the moment we meet again, she would welcome me with a slap, or painful words, or look at me with contempt and rage. But she did not. She's still the Rheign that I know. The kindest woman with the purest heart.

In the midst of my tears, her warm arms enclose me in a calming embrace. "Hush down now, Lauren. Like I said, I already forgive you. We need to start anew. Let's burry all those terrible memories on the past, shall we?" she comforted me, her voice as soft as the feather and as a gentle as a lullaby.

I nod my head fervently and hug her back. "Thank you, Rheign. Thank you."

We're in the verge of being emotional when someone suddenly speaks behind us

"Don't tell me you're going to forget me now that you made amends with her?! Don't you dare, Lauren!"

I turned my attention and saw Lorelei standing with a feigned smug look on her face. She's sporting a resting bitch face, but I know better.

I chuckled and pulled her beside me. "You ruined our moment, you bitch."

Rheign also laugh heartily.

I turned to her and smile. "Rheign, I want you to meet Lorelei. She's a complete bitch at times and has few loose screws in the head, but she's a good friend," I said with a grin.

"Aw!" I winced when Lei pinches my arms. I glared at her but she just rolled her eyes.

She extended her hands. "Nice to meet you, Rheign. I'm Lorelei Shin, but just call me Lei. I'm Lauren's only friend because no one could stand her boring attitude. I hope we can be friends."

My face crumpled while Rheign laugh at her remarks. She shakes hands with her. "I'm Rheign. I'm pleased to meet you too, Lei."

In a span of short time, they became close to each other. Oh well, what would I expect with Lei who's really talkative. She was called a social butterfly for a reason.

I smiled unconsciously while staring at them laughing. Seeing two of the most important people in my life getting along warms my heart. I breathed deep, but this time, it was because of contentment and happiness.

The truth is, unless you let go and forgive yourself, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.

I already made amends with my past. It's time to face the present reality.