Chapter 29- Malik

THE RAIN was a light patter against the umbrella, but it was the only sound Tami heard.

She never heard the sound of what the priest had been saying in the sermon, nor all the nice words that supporters shared.

It was all drowned in the sound of the rain and her own sniffles.

Raphael held her close to his side with his arm around her waist.

Even though he didn’t know Mr. Knowles, the kind words of friends and well wishers gave him just enough information that he needed to know about this wonderful man.

Not to mention that since the two whole days that Tami had been home, she had barely said a word to him.

Things were just about the same on that part.

Her sister was still pissed at her, and her mother had been busy with family, friends and the media, talking about her husband and her returnee daughter.

He had tried to be there for her the best he could, but she pushed him away every chance she got too. She didn’t do it on purpose, but it was her mourning mechanism.

Still, he tried to be there for her. And though Amy doesn’t speak to him, luckily her mother let him in when he visits. She doesn’t hold a grudge against him like Amy does. In Amy’s mind, they were both selfish to have everyone believing that Tami was kidnapped.

Guilt had been a close frenemy too.

His guilt was never far away whenever reality became real. But it had to be this way. There was nothing more he could do to fix it, except be there for Tami when she needed him the most.

Eyes lingered on her from all over. Some sympathetic, some in scrutiny for what ‘truth’ they had learnt after her return home, and some simply dying to talk to her.

She, however, didn’t feel like doing so very much.

“Would any of the bereaved family members like to share a few words?” the priest asked, looking around expectantly. The funny thing was, all of them except Tami had spoken, and so this was his way of drawing her out.

However, even after knowing this, Tami stayed glued to Raphael’s side, not even making a move to go forward.

More eyes fell on her now but she didn’t care. She simply couldn’t find it in herself to go up there and speak about her father’s life as if she was here for his last few days. She had tons of things to say, but she couldn’t bring herself to even utter a word.

“I have a few things to say,” a familiar voice said boldly over the sound of the rain, and Tami’s body stiffened immensely at his very tone.

She knew that voice too well, and it had been too long since she'd heard it.

Malik.

As if Raphael’s chest was on fire, Tami pulled her head from the spot where she had it to gaze in the direction of her old friend.

It has been so long– too long, and he seemed just the same. Except now, he looked a little buffer around his arms and shoulders, as if he had been working out a lot.

He must’ve been stressed, Tami observed. He only goes to the gym when he is extremely stressed.

Maybe her disappearance did its most on him too.

She suddenly felt even more awful. Since she’s been home, she hadn’t reached out to him, or even bothered trying to check her messages. He must’ve been trying to get to her and she didn’t even know.

Wasn’t he supposed to be in California by now? Of course he was!

They were supposed to leave together. Did he delay his trip for her?

All these things Tami hadn’t been thinking about, and everyday she finds something else to feel guilty about.

But instead of contempt or some kind of hatred-filled gaze that she’s been receiving for the past hour, Malik smiled at her—his famous smile that always had her smiling too.

Tami’s vision of him blurred when tears filled her eyes again, and all she wanted to do was run to him and hug him. But she felt glued to Raphael’s side. It was the only place where she felt peace. Safe.

“Mr. Knowles has always been like a mentor to me.” He started, successfully taking all the attention from Tami. “When Tami, my best friend, taught me sign language, I remember always having the best conversations with him. He surely had a sense of humour.” Malik chuckled, and surprisingly Tami’s chest rumbled for about two seconds in a laugh, remembering all the jokes her father would give to impress Malik.

They surely were a pair.

This, of course, didn’t go unnoticed by Raphael. Since that morning when Tami saw the post, she had never smiled. He couldn’t help the slight jealousy he felt at this. But he quickly brushed it off after remembering the setting and situation they were all in.

“The last time I saw him was at our graduation, little did I know that it would’ve been the last time.” Malik sighed with his head down. Tami’s father’s death was surely a heart wrenching news for him. “But one thing I know is that if he had been here today, he would’ve looked at all our sad faces, and told us to save our tears for the end of the world, because there is no way that we could ever be rid of his memory.”

That much was true, and it was just what Tami needed to hear.

Malik was right. If her dad was here, then he wouldn’t have wanted them crying for him.

But how could she not? It was only natural.

Surely, she will hold onto the good memories they had together, instead of dwelling on what could have or should’ve been. What’s done is done.

There should only be room for healing. Nothing more, nothing less.

Soon after, the service came to an end and Tami was leant against Raphael’s black range rover as he spoke to her mom.

The rain had stopped, and the hint of the sun had been peeking behind the clouds ever since. But Tami wanted the sun to stay away just a bit longer. The day should keep its gloom. It was the day she put her beloved dad to rest, after all.

She could see the headstone from where she was as she twirled the rose between her fingers.

She couldn’t find it in herself to lay it down. It felt too much like goodbye.

But isn’t goodbye the first step in healing? Won't she have to sooner or later?

Sighing, Tami took a quick gaze at where her lover and her mother stood talking while she decided to be brave for once since she came home.

She had either been under her mother’s or Raphael’s shadows, and she knew that she needed to do this one thing alone.

Just this once.

With a deep breath, she pushed from the side of the van and slowly walked towards the graveyard.

Her mind screamed at her to run away, but her heart wanted to do this—needed to do this.

Some people expressed their condolences, while others just stared as she walked.

Tami kept her head down, just staring at the rose as she walked. Once she was in front of it, she bent slowly with her eyes closed, until she came face to face with her dad in his newest form.

Loving Father, Husband and Friend.

“Indeed you were,” Tami mumbled as she ran her hand over the cold, wet marble.

Tears burnt her eyes again, but she didn’t want them to fall just yet. Her heart welled in endless love for him as she tried to put on a brave face for him, since she knew that was what he would’ve wanted.

“Hey dad,” she whispered out in a half laugh—half sob. “I made it.” Her eyes closed on instinct as she took another deep breath.

She needed to do this.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you left for your new journey, but I know you had me in your heart when you did. So I promise that wherever I go, and whatever I do, I will always have you in mine. I love you so much daddy.”

The sob she had been holding came fully, but she didn’t try to stop it.

“I promise to make you proud. And after having so much time to think, I know I will always make decisions wisely from now on, and not for my own selfish desires. I also know that if you were here, you would’ve told me that I should go again, and have some fun.” Tami couldn’t help but laugh at this through her tears. That much was incredibly true. “But I see the consequences that others face for my decisions, and I live and learn to do things better.”

A shadow appeared behind her, but she didn’t pay it much mind.

“Anyway. I should go now, I am starving.” The form from behind her chuckled at this. “Goodbye dad. I love you so much,” she mumbled, letting out a deep sigh with her eyes closed as she rested the rose down.

Finally she had faced him. She had been so scared, but doing it now made her feel…better.

It actually felt like she was speaking to her dad, and having him answer in his usual humourous ways, then ending with how much he loved her.

As she rose tall to her feet again, she smiled down at the headstone, pressed a kiss to two of her fingers and pressed them against the stone.

*Until we meet again,* she signed with her hands before letting out the final breath that she had been holding.

The pain still stood on her heart, but it was one bridge crossed. She said goodbye to her dad, so now it was time to face her other demons. Some like getting her sister back.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” the male voice said from behind her and Tami whipped around faster than lightning itself.

She didn’t see him after he spoke about her dad, so she thought he had left. When he came up behind her just now, she thought it was Raphael.

But it wasn’t. It was Malik.

Right here.

Without a second thought, she launched herself in his arms and wrapped him in a huge hug. He too squeezed her half to death but she didn’t mind. Malik had missed her so much and losing her had been nothing but torturous for him.

First it was the drinking after a whole week passed and she was still missing. But he’s a medicine student. He of all people knew the effect of alcohol on the human body. So he turned to his next coping mechanism—working out.

And that’s all he did. Day in and day out after searching endlessly and still didn’t find her.

He always had hope though. Hope that she'll come home to him one day.

And she did.

A throat clearing a few feet away from them had them pulling apart, and Tami saw that it was only Raphael. For some reason he looked a bit annoyed, but Tami only noticed because she knew him so well.

“Raph…”

“Are you ready to go? I will take you to have something to eat,” he said, more like a ‘come we are leaving now’ rather than a question.

“Actually, I was wondering if we could catch up? I missed you, T. I want to know all that happened. The news, social media…everything is so confusing in regards to your return.”

“I’m sorry, who is this?” Raphael asked as he took a step closer, not threateningly, but out of mere curiosity.

He knew that he was her ‘best friend’. Maybe he was this ‘Malik’ that they argued about. But he wanted to know how deep their relationship goes by seeing how he is with her.

“Oh. Um this is Malik. Malik, this is Raphael.” Tami rocked awkwardly on her heels as she remembered the day they fought about Malik.

“Raphael?”

“Malik?” Both men questioned at the same time.

Malik remembered clearly on the night she invited him to Charlette’s pub, she had stated that she wanted him to meet her friend, Raphael.

That was the night she went missing.

The bartender had said that he didn't see them leave after selling him a drink for both of them. And now miraculously after almost two months, she returns with him?

Could the rumours that she ran away with a man be true? Or…

“Nice to meet you,” Malik said dryly as he shook his hand, then turned back to Tami. “You know what? I just remembered that I had something to deal with. Maybe we can catch up later?”

Tami nodded without hesitation. “Yes of course.” She was just happy that the tension had been lifted.

With one last hug and a nod to Raphael, Malik turned on his heels and left.

Something wasn’t adding up. And he wanted to know why.