Fear of confession!
Bella's POV
"Did you take the pill?"
His question send another twisted wave of panic in my gut.
I don't know that my hand shaking because of Air conditioner which on full speed in the car or its because of panic.
"Yes, I did"
My voice is terribly weak and i hate it.
Alex must have sensed it, he intertwined one hand with mine while one was resting on the steering wheel.
"I know you are not feeling well... Don't worry you will be fine, I'll make you your favorite pasta... How does it sound, huh?"
He kissed my cheek.
To be honest the way he said that 'thank god, you are not pregnant' after that I didn't feel the same energy in his kiss. Those words broke something in my heart.
I know he must have his own reasons for not wanting a kid but did he tried to take my opinion on the same. I might want the baby. He didn't even ask.
I want to tell him but my gut is telling me it's not the right time. I am not ready to tell him but eventually I have to tell him. He should know.
Will he be happy, I doubt. Judging his reaction in the hospital, i seriously doubt.
Oh god! Why this dilemma now.
I was so happy, he just proposed me. I was dreaming about my dream wedding.
And now i am standing at the line where i have to gather courage to tell my partner that i am pregnant. It should be the happy moment right? Something special?
But here I am, scared to tell him that i am pregnant. I shouldn't be scared of my own fiance.
He parked the car and I walked inside without waiting for him. The first thing I did is splashed my face with cold water.
I don't know what to do?
Answer is simple, talk to him. Communication is everything that's what they taught us in last lecture.
But what if...
No what ifs Bella, just do it and we'll see what happens next. If he really Love you then he will deal with the situation which is in our favor.
I looked myself in the mirror and my hand automatically touched my belly.
There is a life inside me, my eyes watered with all kind of emotions.
I want this baby. I'll do anything to keep it.
I walked out, Alex is already on the bed. I sat on my side of the bed.
"Alex i need to tell you something..."
He wrapped his hand around my waist and pulled me closer.
"I am all ears..."
He mumbled lazily.
"Why you don't want Baby?"
I asked. I need to know the reason.
"Isn't it obvious__"
Before he finishes his phone rang.
He cursed.
"Babe... This is important... I have to take it."
He picked up the call and started cursing in Italian.
His mood changed within few seconds. Someone must have fucked up with container or warehouse or business deal. I have only this much knowledge about his business. But when he curses like this, it's always about the cargo.
It's definitely not the right time. I better talk this in the morning because he is not in the right mood.
I laid back and closed my eyes, i know sleep won't Grace me today but i have to try, for my baby.
I was drifting into sleep when i felt gentle warm hand pulling me closer. I snuggled closer to him.
If it's a dream i don't want to wake up.
*******
My morning started with morning sickness. Now when i think about it then i realised that i have stupidly ignored pregnancy symptoms.
I actually felt morning sickness few times before but don't know why I ignored that. I was also craving spicy food.
I cleaned myself before Alex notice it. He is outside talking on the phone but i can't trust the distance and timing. He has eyes of eagle and ears owl.
I freshen up and walked out.
"Breakfast is ready... Come."
He hold my hand and led me downstairs after kissing my cheek.
"You are not in a good mood today"
I said, he looks stressed.
"It's not like that..."
He sat on the chair and i took a seat beside him.
"Fuckers were sleeping some street boys stole drugs from warehouse..."
"What?"
I looked at him shocked.
"Street boys stole drugs from mafia prince..."
"Yeah, that's what people gonna think so need to take care of that..."
He sighed.
"They must be planning this for years... Probably would have thought that we won't notice if few packets goes missing..."
"I would be impressed with the guts"
I chuckled.
"Yeah... They must be so addicted to think about consequences... May be security men were involved too, Luca is on inspection..."
He said and my mood soured hearing his name.
Luca, so called husband of my sister. Step sister, sorry. I don't even know if we are sisters anymore. I wish Jasmine would have been with me at this time. I have so much to share with her.
"I think you should give Jasmine chance to explain herself... We shouldn't break relationships so easily... At least hear her out..."
He said filling my plate.
"You are saying this... Emotional things like this doesn't suit from your mouth..."
I looked at him.
"Because I know the importance of the family... Jasmine is your family and i know how much she matters to you... Just like Dom matters to me."
He explained.
I looked at my place and bread and egg made me nauseous. No i am not going to eat this.
Does symptoms gets stronger when we know about the pregnancy. Because It wasn't strong before.
"Here is your Paratha Alex... Enjoy..."
One woman who looks old. Grey bun and warm smile.
"Cool, Della... Thank you so much. I needed this."
Alex gave high-five to her.
One more thing I like about Marino's is they are friendly with their helpers. They treat them like family.
I looked at his plate and delicious smell watered my mouth.
"Bella, She is Della... She takes care of this farm house for me and is excellent cook..."
Alex grinned.
I greeted Della and she left to do her business.
"Alex what are you eating?"
I can't help but ask.
"It's Indian breakfast... I thought you won't like it, it's oily and kind of heavy for you..."
He shrugged.
"Can I have a test..."
I pouted.
"You don't need to ask... But it's spicy, let me tell you..."
He warned.
"That's what I need right now..."
I made a bite and dipped it in a green sauce like things and took a bite.
"So tasty... It's not even that spicy..."
I said with stuffed mouth.
He chuckle at me.
"Go ahead then... I'll tell Della to make more... I thought it will be spicy for your American tongue..."
"I think i should try more Indian food... Don't know what gems you are hiding there..."
I took another bite.
"You should go to my mother then... She is amazing cook.."
He smiled.
"By the way you wanted to tell me something yesterday... Before i come back you were asleep..."
It froze me.
Am i really ready to tell him now. Do i need more preparation. I don't know...
"I forgot... Must be something casual..."
I shrugged it off.
His egle like eyes roamed on my face before he started having his breakfast.
"We need to go back... Something important came up..."
He said and i nodded.
"Okay, no problem... I have assignments too."
To be honest I would prefer to be at home rather than in this place. I mean it's nice and all but at this moment I want to be at home.
May be i can share it with Maa. She will understand me.
I am still worried about Alexander's reaction.
