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She needed to tell him the truth. Her past was what had been holding her back, and this was her chance to show that she was only human and made mistakes. If he didn’t understand, then he didn’t deserve her.
Taking a deep breath she confessed, “Cyrus got me into dance. I was shy, and he paid for it to get me out of my shell. He and Wraith were the only ones who ever looked out for me. I was an excellent dancer, and I learned fast.” She took a deep breath, preparing to expose the darkest part of her life.
“I got in a lot of trouble after my father passed. I was doing drugs, drinking, sneaking into bars. I got mixed up with some bad people, and my ex-boyfriend was a drug dealer. He forced me to sell for him, and I made a little extra cash on the side for school. I got into the underground club scene selling ecstasy, mostly. I never tried them, but they sold quickly. I got caught dealing one night when I lived with Cyrus.”
He nodded, remembering how his friends always worried about her then. “Until Wraith found out about what you were doing. I was just a rookie then, but I remember he was always leaving to take care of things with you or Holly. You both were a handful from what I gathered.”
“Yes. It was a week before my seventeenth birthday when they arrested me. I knew I couldn’t call Cyrus. He would be furious. So, I called Wraith. I didn’t have anyone else to turn to. I never had a lot of friends, and my extended family never liked me. They thought I was a goody-two-shoes. People laughed at me when I started getting in trouble, but not Wraith and Cyrus. They believed in me. Sorry, I’m rambling. I know you want me to be silent tonight,” she said sadly.
Gage told Isis to continue. He needed to know where her mind was, and who she was behind the shy exterior.
“Well… Wraith got me out of jail and got my record expunged. Cyrus was still my guardian, and the school called him. When they found out about my arrest, they kicked me out of the program. Wraith told me I had to get back into dance classes or he would send me to rehab. Truthfully, I’m ashamed that I ever did those things. I hated who I was then.”
Gage sighed. He didn’t realize how much she had been through. Losing her father and her future in one blow had to be hard. “Why did you get involved in that at all? You don’t seem the type.”
“It was about dance parties and raising money for school. When Cyrus found out, he made me give away the money to a scholarship fund for underprivileged youth. Punishment for what I did. I’m not a big club person, anyway. I just love to dance.”
She got quiet, gauging his reaction. He didn’t seem upset or disappointed.
“When Wraith found out I loved wrestling, he started training me. I refused to let them help me get signed to IWX. I wanted to do it on my own. When this spot came up, Cyrus talked to Davis. I didn’t know what the plan was. I wasn’t trying to overstep. I wanted to learn from you.” she said with a deep breath, looking for his approval.
“Isis, seeing you dance was beautiful. I see that in the ring too. I don’t see a need for you to go overboard with the outfits, since you are so stunningly beautiful. I also understand what it means to you to keep dancing in your stage character. You perform to be something you don’t feel inside,” he stated, squeezing her hand. “I apologize for making you feel insecure about it. Thank you for telling me all this. We all have things in our past we aren’t proud of.”
A knock came on the door. “Room Service!” A man rolled a cart over to the table in the room and set down two plates.
Gage tipped him, and he quickly left.
“I’m hungry. I thought you may be too. I got us something light. Come eat. Take your shoes off and relax.” Gage motioned her over.
When finished eating, he suddenly asked her to sit at his feet again. She did as he asked, although confused why.
Gage turned on the TV and finished eating. Watching a late-night rerun of Family Guy, he laughed boisterously at the show. Isis just smiled at the sight of him being normal. She loved it when he was more like the old playful Gage she remembered watching on television. Not this beefed-up version he had created. She sat wondering if he would ever go back to being who he once was. The fun-loving man she fell for.
Isis understood he liked control. What male wrestler didn’t like to be on top of everything? This didn’t seem to be who he was under the surface. The real Gage seemed to be in there somewhere; hidden in the depths of this broken man.
Isis sat silently with her hands crossed over her lap, fixated on her thoughts. Being quiet was killing her. She wanted to ask him about being submissive and what it all meant to him. What if it was more than she could deal with? How could she come back from it if his possible deviant behaviors took over her life?
When Gage finished, he leaned back in the chair, looking at her. Even sitting there, he could see her being self-conscious. She kept adjusting her dress and her hair, biting her lip, and fiddling with her fingertips. After the fifth time seeing her pulling down the hem of her dress, he couldn’t take much more.
“Stand.”
She was watching TV and didn’t hear him.
“Isis! Stand up.”
She got her mind back to him as he turned off the TV show.
“Go to the mirror and stand there until I tell you what to do next.”
Isis slowly went to the mirror, holding her head down. Turning her body, she tried to avoid looking at anything but herself. She only looked in mirrors when she was getting ready in the morning. She hated looking at her reflection unless she was the goddess. Once the glitz and glam were rolled away, she was just an average girl with social anxiety and low self-esteem. She still felt like that chubby kid she once was.
For people who don’t understand being bullied and tormented, it would seem silly. But for someone who had experienced the ruthless taunts, it was clear how it could affect one’s psyche so profoundly.
“Isis. This is your next lesson. Take off your clothes,” he insisted.
She quickly turned to him with her eyes wide, surprised at the request. Her eyes said what she was thinking. “You want me to do what?”
He grumbled, “Do it. You don’t want to make me mad tonight. Now, do you? You were doing so well.”
Isis took a deep breath and gently removed her dress from over her hips, pulling her thong with it. Unfastening her strapless bra, she then laid her clothes on the dresser. She couldn’t believe she was doing this so willingly. Isis covered herself with her arms as best she could. Feeling vulnerable and chilled in the cool room air.
The overweight child she used to be was screaming from inside. Yelling at her to stop before he saw her flaws. She needed to stop before he said something that would hurt the child within. She was fit but still had normal flaws, as anyone does. Somehow she couldn’t see what his motivation was behind all this.
Gage’s soft, graveled voice came across the room, making her fully aware of her utter vulnerability. “You can wear those outfits on stage, but you are afraid to show your body to me?”
He went and stood behind her, watching as her skin went flush from the embarrassment. She wasn’t a virgin, but she hadn’t even had sex with the lights on before. More-less allowed a man to look at her while she was so exposed. Her eyes went to him with a broken sadness. The same sadness he felt over the past few years. At that moment, he realized they were not much different. They both had issues they needed to overcome to live again.
“Put your arms down. Show me, baby. Show me your body.”
She looked up at him through the mirror, feeling exposed, and pulled her arms tighter around herself. He moved closer to her and guided her arms to her sides, gently running his hand down her side to rest on her hip.
“There. See. Beautiful. I think from now on when we are alone, I want you naked. Think you can do that for me?” he asked.
Her body went rigid, not sure how to respond. Finally, she shook her head, yes, thinking she had to know what this was. Could she submit herself to someone?
“Good. That’s my goddess. Now. Look at yourself in the mirror.”
She did as Gage said hesitantly.
“You’re lovely. Your body is like the most perfect porcelain doll. You remind me of a ballerina in a music box. I want you to see what I see. Look at your natural breast, the shape of your voluptuous curves, that beautiful hourglass shape. It’s like looking at fine art in a gallery. You are truly a goddess, Isis. Instead of pretending, know that you are.”
Gage leaned down, kissing the soft skin on her shoulder, and said, “I want you to look at yourself every morning in the mirror. Not just to get ready for the day. I want you to see your genuine beauty.”
He watched as her eyes hesitantly viewed her own body. It was like seeing her reflection for the first time. He could feel her relax under his touch as she leaned into his bare chest. He guided his fingers across her abs as she worked her way closer to him.
“That’s my girl. You’re seeing it now too, aren’t you?”
Isis looked up to his eyes in the mirror and smiled sweetly with a nod.
“Now. Touch your body for me.” Isis tensed again, and he could feel it. “I told you this is not about sex. I’m not asking you to do that. Just feel your curves.”
Gage took her hand, guiding her hands over her breast and abs. “You see? Now, you do it. Don’t stop until I tell you to.”
He walked over to the bed, removing everything down to his boxers. Gage sat back against the headboard, watching her with pure adoration. Suddenly becoming aroused watching her, he knew he couldn’t let his sexual desires take over. This was about her, not his sexual prowess. He pulled at his growing erection with a slight moan. With a growl, he adjusted himself to relax so as not to get carried away. The longer she touched herself, the more comfortable she became, and the more aroused he was.
Isis could feel a tingle of energy growing in her core. Just knowing Gage was watching her explore her curves was exciting. In a moment, her hand wandered over her womanhood.
His head leaned back on the headboard, smiling, seeing Isis getting turned on from touching herself.
Gage’s eyes narrowed, and the look of the glorious devil washed over his face. “You can take care of yourself if you like. I wouldn’t mind watching you. When you’re done, come to me. We need to sleep. We have a big day tomorrow.”
Isis came back to reality with his words and realized she was almost pleasuring herself in front of him. She noticed the wetness pooled between her thighs but was surprised at how comfortable he made her feel about it. She stopped herself and went to his bedside. Pulled her into the bed, he wrapped his arms around her with a hum.
“My goddess. Sleep. We have a lot to talk about in the morning. You did well tonight. Maybe we can treat you for your good behavior.”
She relaxed into the pillow; her back turned to him. Gage ran his fingers over her side and pulled her close.
His approving comments brought a sense of joy she had never felt before. Smiling to herself, she snuggled back into him, quickly drifting off to sleep.
