42

The next day, Gage went to the IWX headquarters. Isis went out to the backyard, dangling her feet in the pool, and called Wraith.

“Wraith, is this you?”

“Yep. What did that ass Gage do today?” he asked in a grumbled tone. “Do you need me to come to get you?”

“Oh, no. I’m fine. We are getting along better. Can I ask you something? You seem to know Gage pretty well.” She fidgeted with the string on her bikini.

“Yep. Known him for years.” Wraith could tell by the sound of her voice something was up.

“Well, I know you used to say how much of a good guy he was. What happened? Sometimes it just seems like he… I don’t know. I think he doesn’t like who he is right now.” She relaxed back, looking up at the clouds passing over.

“Gage just has had a bad run of relationships. Not to mention everyone around him is always wanting something. Especially since he has so much pull with Davis. After his divorce, it was like he just snapped. He seemed sick of it all. Every time he would go on a date, some bimbo would either ask him about his money or try to get famous. Everyone on the roster is surprised he has kept you around this long. He has had a problem with teaming with women in storylines since he caught Summer cheating.”

“Why blame other women for her mistakes?”

“I shouldn’t tell you this, but I think you need to know. Davis tried to keep this a secret from the media to protect Gage from being hurt more than he already was. Do you remember the show segment where he found her having sex backstage with Breaker in a locker room?”

“Yes. It’s a TV show. It’s not like that actually happened.”

Wraith sighed. “Really? Because I remember it differently. I was just outside in the hall when it went down. That segment wasn’t meant to happen.”

“What happened?”

“Summer and Breaker lost track of time and didn’t expect the cameras to come in so soon. When Gage walked into that locker room, he was going there searching for Breaker with the camera crew. He made Gage lose the match earlier that night. When he walked in, Breaker was balls deep in Summer. They still had most of their clothes on, so it didn’t seem to the fans to be real. Thankfully, the camera crew kept what was happening off the live feed. That fight was real. Gage broke Breaker’s nose and fractured his hand from hitting the jerk so many times in the face. If I would not have been outside in the hall to stop him, Gage would have killed him live on international television.”

“I had no idea. That’s horrible. It must have been so humiliating for Gage to have his personal life documented for the world to see. So that’s the reason for the womanizing. He just lost hope in women altogether.”

“Yes. Cyrus and I knew you are nothing like those women. Nothing like Summer.” Wraith didn’t know what she was trying to get at but hoped she was getting the information she needed.

“Okay. Wait? What do you mean by that? You know what?” Isis looked annoyed.

“Crap. I shouldn’t have said that.” He grimaced, rubbing his forehead. “Damn. Listen. You know Cyrus wanted you to find a good man. You were so lonely most of the time and were not willing to go out and meet anyone after you broke up with that last guy. I mentioned Davis wanted a girl in Justice. We both know deep down that Gage is still a good guy. You both needed someone to heal from your past. I know how you felt about him and —”

Isis got mad quickly. “YOU WHAT! You set me up! Wraith! Do you know what hell he’s putting me through? No, you wouldn’t, would you? We’re better now. Better than good. I slept with him, and it was damn good. He has no intent on falling for me. He made that clear. It’s just sex. I decided to stick it out. All you jerks did was find me a sugar daddy who just wants to fuck and have me as his little pet. SO, FUCK YOU! Now I’m sleeping with the man of my dreams, and he doesn’t even love me. Thank you very much for NOTHING!” Isis yelled.

She hung up, and Wraith instantly tried to call her back. After about the third time, she turned off her phone.

Isis slid down into the water, letting herself sink to the bottom of the pool. She wished she could drown. She let herself come back up to float on her back, watching the clouds pass over. She wondered if Gage could ever love her. After what she heard, it was understandable why it would be hard for him to even try with someone on the show. Isis hated Summer for hurting him. For ruining the one man she saw a future with.

Isis got out of the pool and changed into a light purple romper. She sat in the big armchair in the living room, smelling the leather chair that had Gage’s scent. Slowly, through the tears, she drifted off to sleep.

***

“Isis! Where the hell are you! Damn it… Come here right now! I’ve been calling for hours!” Gage screamed.

Isis jumped up from the chair and ran to him. Once she reached Gage, she dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around his legs, weeping.

“I’m sorry. Don’t be mad. Please? I can’t take your punishment right now.” She cried uncontrollably while trying to speak. “Wraith and I got into an argument and I yelled at him. Don’t ask me about it. I just need you to hold me right now.”

He heard the hurt in her voice and softened his approach. Gage lifted her from the floor and took her to the armchair, sitting her on his lap.

“I know. Wraith called me. It worried him when you wouldn’t answer his calls. I called several times too and couldn't get through. Never do that to me. I was so worried sick. He wouldn’t tell me what you talked about. You told him we had sex, didn’t you? He’s pretty pissed at me right now.” Gage grumbled in annoyance and concern.

“I didn’t tell him about any details. Just that we slept together. I was mad. It just slipped out. That has nothing to do with your private lifestyle. That’s part of me now too, you know. I guess I might as well tell you. He and Cyrus set me up. Cyrus wanted me to have a man so he wouldn’t worry about me so much. He was always trying to set me up with his friends. Well, he got his wish. I’m now not only in a fucked-up relationship but now the personal property of Twelve Inch Gage Stone. A man who doesn’t love me and just wants a companion with perks of sex.”

“Isis, please.”

“No, Gage, it’s okay. Ya know, now I think about it, maybe this whole thing is perfect. Maybe this no-love thing is good too. You don’t love someone; you don’t get hurt. Maybe your whole concept is perfect. Great sex, feeling nothing. Perfect,” she tried to persuade herself.

“That is not what you want. I don’t think you can turn off love. If you could, Summer couldn’t have hurt me.” He felt like he had broken her. His sweet Isis was being damaged by his own selfish needs.

“No. I get it now. You don’t have to worry anymore about that. I can be just as cold as my ex used to say I was. The Ice Queen, right?” Isis gripped her hands into Gage’s dress shirt, burying her face in his shoulder. “I don’t want to feel anything anymore.”

“Isis, baby, this is not who you are. Don’t be like me. You’re better than that.” Gage rubbed a hand over her arm.

“Maybe not. Maybe this is who I should be. Why don’t you just fuck me and get it over with tonight? Do whatever the hell you want. I’m through with feeling anything. Hell, those things I said I won’t ever do. Do it. The more painful it is, maybe the number I’ll be.” She felt her body go limp as he held her. “Everything that has ever been good in my life always ends. My dad, school, and hopes that you would love me. I’m prepared for the time you are sick of this and won’t want me at all. I’m just not someone that good things happen to for very long. I expect any minute my career will be over too.”

The toxic thoughts numbed her. Realizing he would never love her was more than she thought she could handle.

“I don’t want you to turn you into this broken person. You’re stronger than any woman I’ve ever met. I will take care of you tonight. Just like you did for me.”

He lifted her from the chair, holding her in his arms, her body limp and lifeless. Her expression, vacant. Just pain and emptiness left in the wake.

Gage took her to the backyard, to the hot tub connected to the pool. Sitting her on the lounge chair, he removed her clothes and his own. Gently, he cared for her.

“Please, Gage. Just have your way with me. Don’t be this sweet guy. Be the Gage you were before. Cold and distant. Please. I’m begging you. Just go back to hating me. At least then I knew where I stood.”

Removing his pants, he looked over. Her head rested on the back of the chair, looking out at the empty sky. He broke her. His pride and anger destroyed her spirit. Something he never wanted.

“I will never be that guy again. Not to you. Not ever.”

He picked up her limp body and stepped down into the bubbling water. It was almost night, and the sun had already set. He sat her weak body on his lap, cradling her with protection from the one thing that hurt her most. Him.

“I’m destroying you, Isis. I can’t let that happen. I won’t.”

“Why? It’s what you want, right? Control. If I release everything, you can turn me into who you need. A fresh slate. An empty shell.” Isis looked into his light brown eyes, wanting to fade away into nothingness.

“No. What I need is you. The real you. Not this person I’m turning you into. I thought all this control was what I wanted. It’s not. I don’t know exactly what I want, but I know I want the real you.” He took her face, holding it in his large firm hands as gentle as holding glass. He lightly kissed her cheek and pressed his forehead to hers.

“Why won’t you kiss my lips? Am I not good enough for you?”

Gage looked away. “You’re more than enough, Isis. I just can’t risk my heart again. Every time I do, I end up losing myself. It’s too... intimate.”

“I understand. You’re right. I can’t stop loving you. I won’t stop. I just wish the real you were still there. I guess that’s just a foolish dream. I hate what that woman did to you. She destroyed your heart and I hate her for it,” she said, pressing her head into his chest.

He pulled her close, thinking he was making the biggest mistake of his life. Here was the woman of his dreams, and he didn’t have enough nerve to admit it. To her or himself. They just sat as the bubbling water enveloped them, wishing they could have each other’s hearts.