The Replacement

The way she phrased it is not really requesting him but somewhat that of a person who has long thought about it and is just informing him of her decision.

Daemon was caught off guard but quickly recovered from the shock. Getting up, he gently pulled Devon out of the room so they could talk freely.

“Devon, you know we can’t do that. She is not Emily. Lucy has her own parents who also long for her return. She is not our child. She is not ours to keep,” he spoke to her in the softest voice he can afford.

If repeating the same thing he tells her every day since she kidnapped Lucy over and over again to inculcate it in her head, then he doesn't mind at all as long as it will make things right.

He’s carefully balancing between doing what’s right and logical and not upsetting her though he reckoned that she will still be hurt in the process but he wants it to happen gradually.

Exhaling, she put her hand on her chest and opened her mouth to convince him this time. “I know that. It’s just that, I want to have one for myself too and I’m already imagining her to be our child.”

“What?!” he said exasperatedly because he found her statement to be kind of wild and insane at the same time. “Why are you like this, Devon? Are you trying to replace Emily when we know she’s still alive? We will find her. Why are you losing hope that we will find her?”

She fell silent as if it’s contemplating the intensity of the truth that is just casually spilled on her front as if it’s the first time someone told her on her face.

Time stood still between the two of them as Daemon waited for her answer hoping she would deny it right away as if she did not tell him yesterday her desire to never return Lucy back into her own family and dismissed it as just another of those misheard words he heard.

Afterwards, Devon nodded and Daemon felt his heart breaking into pieces.

“You’re right. Emily is still alive but why is it so hard to believe that now? I know we’ve done more than we could but in truth, I may have come to the point that I’m starting to believe that our daughter is gone forever. She may be dead for all we know.”

He unclenched his fists and felt his ragged breathing slipped out from him. He has the urge to hug her but something kept him from moving in his position.

Is it the empty space in her eyes while he’s telling him that their daughter could be dead or is it the coldness in her expression when she said that?

“No! No! Don’t you ever say something like that! Emily is alive and we will find her! I thought I’m going crazy when I believed in you that our child is alive but as we went along in search for her, I finally realized that she is really alive. She’s there waiting for us to find her so why would her mother ever think like this?! Come on Devon, don’t give up like this.”

Her lips quivered into a cry ashamed of what she implied.

“But Daemon what if she’s…”

“Don’t mention anything like this anymore,” he cut her off. “I’ll pretend that I never heard about this.”

He turned his heels ready to leave him but Devon is still not stopping from tormenting him.

“You know it’s a possibility. When Henderson told me that I should stop hoping for the possibility that my parents will give her back to me, that means… that means…”

She tried too hard to say the word but she couldn't. Her lips are trembling making her swallow back the dreaded word.

“You know what I mean already,” she finished.

Daemon carried all his remaining resolve to face her back. “Emily is not dead, that I can guarantee you. You can kill me afterwards if it turns out that she’s really gone.”

“Is that all you wanted to say?!” she yelled and walked around him and pushed back his body to trigger him. “I will kill you if she’s really dead. That word is really so fuckin hard to say. You just gave me more burden to kill you with my own hands when you know I couldn’t do that!”

“So why did you kidnap Lucy if you’re starting to believe that Emily is dead?!” he gritted his teeth to control his emotions. “Why do you have to take another child, Devon?!”

She bit her lower lip and then brushed her hair aside harshly and then blew an air in both anger and frustration. “Really, you’re asking me that? I did that so I could make them feel how to have your child taken away from them! They took away mine so who said I can’t do the same to them?! Who said I can’t make them experience the kind of hell I went through?! Who said that I could be kind forever?! I was so kind for the longest kind but I am a human being too! I have feelings! I have emotions! I could get angry and plot my most painful revenge against them for stealing away the only reason why I wanted to live!”

Her chest was heaving in so much fury that her tears stopped falling and her whole face turned red, her lips purple from biting it too hard.

“I thought you’re not going to harm her? I thought you'd agreed to return her after a week?”

Devon raised her head and shook it without a care in the world. “I won’t. I’ll keep her for myself. In fact, I’ll give her the best care and love a mother can give to her child. I’ll give her the kind of life that I want to give Emily.”

Daemon can only look at her hopelessly. Perhaps, it should have come to this. Perhaps things are meant to be really out of control and would become messier and uglier than it already is.

“Devon, stop this. I told you already she is not our child and she will never become ours. Three days. That’s the only remaining I could give you. After that, I’ll return her to Brian myself even if you don’t agree,” he said in finality.

He’s been holding on for too long. Every night he hears Lucy asking for her own parents and Devon lying to her face gets him guiltier than ever.

“I hate you… I hate you so much.” She began punching him on his face but he just let her. “Why can’t you at least give me this for once?! Why are you unlike other men there who would do anything for their wives? Is it because you know that I love you more?!”

Daemon looked up to prevent himself from hugging Devon and giving in. Letting her do what she desired now would only lead her to ruin. He will let her go down that miserable path that has no turning back anymore.

“Devon, please. Do not guilt trip me.”

“I am not guilty of tripping you in any way. I just want to tell you what I feel! When you said you love me, are you just patronizing me for a while because you know I would fall for it? Are you still thinking how to exact revenge against my goddamn father, Daemon?! Are you laughing now?! Do you think it’s funny?! Are you happy seeing the daughter of the one who killed your father go through this kind of pain?! Tell me! Answer me!”

That’s when he looked down at her to see disgust written all over her face. Instead of staying silent just like what he initially decided, he found himself talking and dumping it all on her.

“I am not! And how many times do I have to tell you that I’ve already decided to forget about that plan because of you?! When you said that I am unlike any husband out there who would do anything for their wives, you are wrong, Devon. I will do everything for you, drop anything for you and even make me forget the reason why I still survived every day of my life in this world. I dined at the same table as my father’s murderer because of you. I did it all for you. I threw it all away because I found a more meaningful way to live every day through you! Through the hope that our daughter is alive out there!”

Devon shut her mouth closed, her arms automatically falling back down with her eyes on him and with the tears pouring down again.

“I know I’ve committed the gravest mistakes against you and our daughter but that does mean I would just watch while you throw your life away. I won’t let you end up like a bitter and revengeful man like me, Devon. You don’t deserve that.”

He walked closer so he could touch her face.

“So please do not make it harder for me too. Do not talk about my father just like that. Please, I’m begging you. I am more in pain when you disregard his tragic end at the hands of your father just like that.”

Devon’s shining face from tears reflected on his wet face too as sudden realization of what she’d done dawned on her. She began sobbing silently while covering her face in shame. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry…”

He smiled and took her in his arms to comfort her when he himself needed comforting too. After a while, when he made sure she’s somehow alright, he withdrew from the embrace and stepped back a little.

“I know you are but I have to leave for now to think things through but that doesn’t mean I’ll let you have the child. We will return her. That's final.”

His voice is unyielding to her so she will not think that he has forgotten about their initial conversation and his say on it.

“I understand,” she said in a low tone.

Daemon nodded and began walking away but stopped in an instant when he remembered something. He turned to face her, wiping the tears on her face.

“And Devon…”

She raised her eyes to meet his subdued gaze.

“I will do everything for you that includes preventing you from going in the same path that I walked on. As much as possible, I don’t want you to experience the same kind of hell that I had when I was still running in there.”

And then he left her along in the hallway feeling so bad for saying all those things to him.

“Where is my mommy? I want my mommy Aunt Devon! I want mommy and daddy!”

Devon hurriedly sat next to Lucy on the bed when she woke up screaming for her parents.

“Can I be your mommy instead? Uncle Daemon will be a good father too.”

The child cried harder. “No! I have my own mommy and daddy! I want them! I want my mommy!”

She smiled bitterly recalling how Daemon wanted her to see reality. “Okay, Lucy. We’re going back to your mommy now. But did you enjoy your vacation here with Aunt Devon and Uncle Daemon?”

“Yes but I really want to go home now. I want to hug mommy and daddy. I miss them so, so much Aunt Devon. Please, I want to hug them.”

Devon nodded at her and tucked her back in bed. “Okay, we’ll see them as soon as possible after they’re back from their trip, okay? For now, you have to sleep okay?”

Lucy reluctantly let her lead her.

“Now give Aunt Devon a hug.”

She hugged him and Devon responded back by hugging her tightly.

“I’m sorry Lucy but not now. I can’t give you back yet,” she thought and kissed the child’s head.