Chapter 42 Baby Steps

— Eveline —

Darren and I needed a little time to ourselves. We needed to re-energize ourselves. It hadn’t been long since the earthquake, then the attack on Ghealach. It was too much.

We didn’t go anywhere fancy. No glitzy resort. It wasn’t the sun we needed but each other. Everyone let us have our space. Blakemore has a big territory, so we went to a waterfall one day, a lake the other, we would hike in the woods, or picnic under the sun. We let our wolfish selves run wild a few times together. We didn’t think about work, about responsibilities, about the things we went through. We thought of all that we can face together. That we are indeed stronger together.

We indulged in a full week of shameless abandon.

But once that was done, we went back to work.

My brother was a little squeamish at the idea. He hid it well, but I know him, I saw it, he was worried. He made me promise to see a therapist. Alone or with Darren but I had to talk to a professional at least ten times. Ten times. This man is insane.

I went reluctantly, but ended up enjoying it. I talked more about where my life was going, than where it’s been. This is what I needed, look towards the future. It may have taken me a long time to mature, but I was slowly getting there. Baby steps.

Darren and I had insisted for combat training. Hand-to-hand, weapons, tactics, everything. We made it our biweekly couple thing.

We couldn’t afford to do it daily with everything that was going on, but we took it seriously.

When I went to return the gun and knife to Mishka he told me to keep them, and he could get me bullets whenever I wanted.

I kept them. I have them on me nearly every day. I also asked him to find something good for Darren, and he delivered. When the situation was dicey, he was a bit of a scary man, but I’ve never really been intimidated by that type of men. And when things were quiet he was a ridiculously juvenile goofball. But he was reliable.

He kinda drove Ylva mad, but I think she doesn’t dislike it, and he clearly doesn’t dislike her. Given his own disregard for his safety, I suppose they could work out, whatever that would be.

I told Kaden I wanted to keep my job and would accept changes only is they went with more responsibilities, but I wanted to stay as a liaison. I think I surprised him, but I asked for two bodyguards, he agreed to three.

I started French classes and I discovered that I really enjoy languages. And private classes are so much more efficient than anything we had in high school. And you skip the drama altogether.

I spent a lot of my spare time with my family. And I had a few serious talks with my sisters. They can’t keep cruising through life like that. I did it and it was a lot of wasted years. Nadine has excellent organization skills that she uses only for party-making, so I convinced Kaden to let me bring her in to organize things when we have people visiting. Who knows, she might discover a career she loves.

I know of the facility, and the war declaration Kaden has given to Nubinero.

I sat with Darren and, as he was more versed in politics than I, asked him to teach me. He’s doing a lot of catching up on Blakemore itself—which I’ve helped him with—and doing so, realized how incomplete my own knowledge of my pack was. We’ve been trying to compensate for this too.

I’m not learning remotely as fast as I’d like, and most of Darren and I’s political lessons tend to rapidly shift to anatomy lessons, but we’ll get there. As I said. Baby steps.

Kaden has had another health scare. I know he tried to hide it, but I saw. I know what to look for now. It scares me. I can’t lose him. The pack would fall apart. Our family would fall apart. No one is ready to take over, and with the present political climate, the gap between him and anyone else is only growing.

I know there’s a lot he doesn’t tell me. I nagged him plenty about it but he’s immune to my nagging. I tried to listen in whenever I can but it doesn’t really work. Getting my information through Darren is way more efficient.

Darren’s birthday is coming up and I called his crew of friends from Stonewillow to come and visit us. And his family too, of course. I offered the private jet and everything. With everything that has happened in such a short succession, they don’t even know about him becoming Gamma.

We decided that once his three-month probation period is passed, we’ll move to a house together, but until then, I moved most of my clothes to the apartment. We might get a home half-way through Blakemore packhouse land and Blakeden. Darren has really grown attached to the town. One day, he came home all excited about seeing a mermaid bar.

“What’s a mermaid bar?” he asked me.

“A bar where there are tanks of water instead of stages where mermaid dances,” I explained.

“Wait! It’s a mermaid strip club?” he asked abashed.

“No, it’s classier than this. And men can’t grope and grind against the dancers. It’s more like a burlesque show.”

“How do you know?” he asked suspiciously.

I raised an eyebrow at him unamused.

He grinned sheepishly. “Well, if it’s classy—,” he mumbled.

“We can go for a date if you want.” Which really cheered him up.

Turned out, we had a blast, I could imagine Marigold, Daniella, Ana, Megan and Kate, go in there to watch the mermen. I should make sure to invite them too with the others from Stonewillow.

I caught my mother looking at me strangely a few times. Mostly at my belly and breast. I think she might have been evaluating if I may be pregnant yet.

I’m not sure about those baby steps. Eventually probably, but I don’t feel any rush. I want to make sure Darren and I have time to be where we want to be when it happens, but I’m not exactly thinking in if’s but in when’s, so I guess this means a lot in and of itself.

I suppose no one is ever truly ready until it’s there, but I’m not rushing things to please my mother.

Like Kaden, Darren and I eat all our Friday dinners at my parents. Everyone as grown very fond of Darren, even Kaden—though he tries not to show it too much—which really made me happy. He’s family and I want him to feel like it.

I know things were tense with his, but maybe this time it will be a little better. They will see he found his place and he’s happy.

I’ve always been a bit of the optimistic.

That is not changing.