Chapter 47: Hopelessness to New Belief

It’s been a few days since we both had joined our duties. Rowan used to handle work; he was in charge of most business; his uncle Silas was helping him to reduce some burden and aunt was teaching me how to be a responsible luna.

I realized wolves respected her a lot, but were feared by Silas. They preferred to be away from him.

Rowan had made some changes in pack functioning, as he was working on the system to recognize each wolf and his human form. It was a unique idea and was supported by everyone. He was quite popular, so every pack member got ready with no convincing.

My routine was quite different. I could choose what I do. Rowan didn’t want me to stress about it, but I wanted to help him run our pack. Luna Rayne was kind and was very attentive.

Laura and I had a lot of fun; she used to wait for her to finish her daily duties of pack house management, so we could spend more time together.

Yesterday, Orson confronted me about my decision to suppress my mate’s bond. He was a special friend of mine. Hiding anything from him was a guilty act for me. I told my insecurities about Rowan and his words back, why he accepted me as his mate.

Fearing Rowan’s short temper, I felt I had made the right decision; I didn’t want to leave him behind. He agreed, but I knew he didn’t support it from his heart.

Everything seemed perfect. It was a sunny day. School had a shortage of teachers, so I joined as an extra teacher to monitor them. Older children were quite sensible and were less troublesome, but younger ones were heart core mischievous. Keeping them busy with games or activities was the hardest task.

“Aylin, watch out. Peter is sneaking away from the window.” Laura was juggling two kids in her arms. I snapped. Her butt was stuck in the window railing. She wanted to play in the mud, but no one let him. I put Sara down and ran towards the window. Peter was chubby, yet smart. She broke out of the class and ran into a puddle of mud.

I came out of the class. Laura was struggling to distract their minds from the window. Sara was giggling at the freshly watered plants and running with her tiny feet stretching her hands. I hurried, picking her up before she touched the mud.

“Luna, pea..se.” She had a cute pout on her creased face; I laughed at her way of convincing me.

“Your mommy doesn’t enjoy ruining your dress, sweetheart.” She humped, crossing her hands while I was caring for her.

“But, I like it.” She hugged me as I pecked her forehead dearly. I was taking her back to the class when Sharon bumped into the corner of the wall. I gripped Sana tight with the fear of falling for her, but I balanced myself sooner. Scared, Sana was trying to hide her in arms.

Goddess, why her? I never saw her after that encounter, nor did anyone mention her name. My brain heats with no reason whenever I see her. She was holding a hated neurotic expression, as she had seen the most disgusting thing in the world. Her hate for me wasn’t hidden at all, but she enjoyed showing off for no reason, nor did she respect me as her luna.

“Be careful, Sharon. You are at school. The child could have gotten hurt.” She rolled her eyes in annoyance, shifting her balance from her one leg to another, trying to display her body covered in a glittery short dress. Who wears such dresses with deep V cuts, particularly in school?

“Don’t be happy because you got married to him. You are still an unworthy human worm.” He forwarded, glaring at me, her lips twitching with suppressed anger.

“Hu… I don’t need to learn how to handle children from a person like you who can’t give birth to Rowan’s child.” I was ready to flip her world upside down again, but her words knocked the air out of my lungs. Sharon walked away, pushing me over the wall, swaying her hips perfectly.

My body was trembling violently, the world became blurry. I sat down, leaning over the wall. A tiny hand cleaned my tears, then I realized I was crying. I looked down at Sana. Her beautiful pink face was scary.

“Luna, don’t cry. I am here.” Her words brought a flood of emotions into my heart, letting it flow through my eyes. My quivering mouth couldn’t open, make any sound. Silent tears were drenching her tiny hands.

“I don’t play in mud anymore.” I held her tiny figure over my chest and shed tears until I couldn’t anymore. My heart throbbed with pain. He wasn’t capable of giving him the most precious gift, the symbol of our love to Rowan. I felt worthless for him, as she said.

“Aylin?” Laura’s concerned voice pulled me back from my misery. She ran hurriedly, watching me sitting on the ground. I got up and tried to compose myself, tidying my crumbled dress with one hand. Sana was holding me calmly, asking no questions. I looked at her, finding she was sleeping profoundly in my arms.

My heart warmed at the sight of a peaceful face nuzzling faintly over me. I was so overwhelmed that I couldn’t stop kissing her face multiple times.

Laura asked dozens of questions, but I couldn’t answer any. She threatened to tell Rowan. Then I had to spill the beans. She was so mad at her; the table broke with her single punch.

She was consoling me for different reasons, asking me to keep faith in the moon goddess. She said, I am wolfless, but my body is strong enough to carry a child. I don’t know what will happen in the future. Sharon opened the wounds on my heart again. It was painful to know I couldn’t bear a child for my Rowan. She really proved me as an unworthy bride for my Rowan.

It was hard to push it away. I couldn’t concentrate anymore, and I went to rest in my room. Sara was still asleep in front of me. She must have been exhausted.

Her both parents were working, they were busy handling stuff around. I couldn’t control my emotions, ending up bringing her with me.

Her tender smiles were claiming my burned nerves. She smiled in sleep whenever I touched her soft pinkish cheeks. Wherever my fate leads me, I will. I still hope I can carry a child for him.

I won’t regret it even if it costs my life. Finally, it will be worth it. I had understood this destiny had its own mind, our decisions, and willingness don’t reach to her.

Until last year, I was trapped, who wished to see the twinkling lights every night, but today, the Luna of that pack, beside my mate.

“You look adorable with a child.” Rowan’s arm pulled me towards him. He was lying behind, spooning completely. I was so lost, I didn’t find him entering the room. I had freshened up, otherwise he had found it from my face.

“You seemed tired. Did you work too much?” He planted a kiss on my neck, turning me to face him. He leaned down and snatched a long passionate kiss from me as if he was getting re energized.

“I will never tire of loving you. I can love you until the end of this world.” He bit my nipple over my dress, making me grasp aloud.

“Rowan, Sara is here.” I was blazing red. With him, I feel an ultimate level of peace. I was glad. We both were wearing the rings, otherwise he could easily find out my depressed mood.

“Then she has to go.” My eyes went wide at him. He wanted to kick out a four year child to spend time with me?

“Her mother is waiting behind the doors for her.” He licked my lips and loosened his weight over me. I hand over the sleeping Sara to her mother. She was moved, knowing I took her with me.

Rowan picked me up as soon as I closed the door and entered the bathroom. We took cold baths together, enjoying just being in the water with each other.

“Tell me why a kid was sleeping in our room?” He sucked my neck, getting lower and lower.

“She fell asleep in my arms, so I brought her here. You didn’t like it?” He made me look with the tip of his finger. His gaze was possessive.

“It’s not that, but I am too selfish to share with you. You are only mine. I won’t share you even with our baby.” His hand descended downwards, tickling the skin he shouldn’t.

I felt my heart tugged with thought of our child, but I melted hearing him. Wasn’t his heart longing to see the face of his child? But I wanted to carry his child.

“You are really crazy. The best thing that’s happened to me.” I held his mountain of desire. Stroking gingerly, making him moan, and he spoiled my mouth again.

“How was your work?” I asked, distracting his naughty mouth and hands. He was really busy nowadays. If it wasn’t me, he wouldn’t even step out of his office.

“It’s getting boring. I was expecting another attack from vampires. They missed two opportunities to invade, but they didn’t as if they were waiting for the right time.” He was relaxed and enjoying our bath, holding me in his favorite position. I wasn’t surprised at all by his weird behavior, but I like him too.

“What are they doing? Any news?” He nodded, pulling me closer to him hard.

“They are moving away from our territory, towards the north end of the Avaline ranges.”

“And?” He smirked and rubbed his increasing desire over my entrance.

“Waylen thinks there is a mole in our pack.” I jerked away from him. He was sure, but didn’t take action. He pulled me back, pinning tighter than before.

“We will act at the right time.”