So, do you want to date me?

Will

— So, do you want to date me? — I ask and look at him with a big smile.

— Of course I want it. I just didn't order it earlier because I thought it was a bit early, and I saw your birthday, the perfect date, plus it's the day the series premieres!

— It's true. I think I owe a lot to the producers who chose us, but we also owe it to Wanchai and Thirasak!

— I think Thirasak made me see so much, get out of my bubble, and meet Nate, who I didn't know. I know I'm not as caring as you are, but that doesn't mean I don't feel anything, and

— I know, I can already see that you are somewhat closed off and show little of what you feel. A relationship is made of different people who feel something for each other, and show it in different ways.

— I don't know what you saw in me! I'm a pain in the ass, I'm not usually very nice, I don't give much space to anyone, and when we first met I was extremely unbearable with you.

I smile, touching his face lightly.

— Don't you know what I have seen in you? You are a handsome, attractive, sincere bore, and I love it when you fall for my teasing and make an angry face that is actually a lie! — Nate stares at me and smiles, shaking his head in the negative. — And to get back to the point, you said you had prepared a surprise, and...

— So, I want to show you something!

He picks up the cell phone that is lying on his bed and searches for something until he hands it to me. It is a video. When I play it, the scenes surprise me, they were taken from the series, from our social networks, we are together in several moments, and the soundtrack is the song he composed for me. I can't help myself, it's stronger than I am. The tears insist on running down my face. The video comes to an end with him holding up a sign with a question written on it: Will you be my boyfriend? When I look at Nate, he is smiling and looking extremely cute. It melts my heart.

— It was beautiful!

— I'm glad you liked it, but I'm waiting for your response!

— Do I have the option to say NO? — I ask and sketch a cynical smile.

— You have two options. The first you can say YES, and get lots of kisses, hugs and affection...

— Are you being affectionate? Is this a scam?

— Shut up, Will! It may not look it, but I know how to be affectionate. Let me continue... The second option, you will make me very sad if you say NO! — I watch what he says, hand over the cell phone, and caress his face.

— Do you really think I would say no? Of course I want to, kitten! He caresses my face, and his thumb lightly touches my lips.

In your eyes I see so much affection.

— Happy Birthday, little bunny!

It doesn't take long for me to take your mouth with ardor. And miss the wonderful feeling of his mouth? Only if I was crazy!

[...]

Now we are lovers outside of fiction, and we are shooting the scenes in which Wanchai and Thirasak finally become a couple. Art imitates life, and I am as happy as my character. I look like a fool in love, every time I look at him my heart thinks it is at a rave, and when I feel his mouth I go a bit out of control, I think of nothing else.

At this point our series has become a success, and people are beginning to recognize me everywhere I go, and this is very good, because it proves that my efforts have not been in vain. My feeling of insecurity, and everything my parents told me has been thrown away, and fortunately success is knocking at our door, and I feel that a lot is yet to come. We spent the whole day shooting many scenes for the tenth episode, and you have to be very concentrated not to mess up, because the script says one thing, and my mind and heart say another.

Every time I see him, I want to be glued to him, to feel his lips and caress his face, to hug him. It's hard, but I have to control myself! The last scene we have to shoot, of all the scenes we shoot in our "love nest", that was the name given by the director to Thirasak and Wanchai's house, is exactly the most difficult for both of us, because I feel the nervousness in him. In the scene in question, we are ready to go to sleep, Wanchai calls his brother explaining that Thirasak is just his roommate, and that the thing he posted on Instagram about them being boyfriends is just a joke.

— So kids, do you know what to do yet? — we nod our heads in agreement, while P'Tan asks through his microphone, sitting in front of us. — Action.

We are standing, leaning on a wooden desk, Thirasak makes mention of wanting to ask me something, and touches me, while my character talks to his brother .

— My friend was really joking. See you tomorrow, bye!

— What did he want? — he asks as soon as I hang up the phone.

— I wanted to know about the post you made, I guess he still didn't believe what I said.

— When will you tell him the truth, Wanchai?

— I will tell him when he is in a good mood.

— I think you have to tell him soon, we are together, we are not children anymore, and...

— For you it is easy, your family has accepted you for a long time, but for me it is difficult, I have never talked about my sexuality with them, even because I was not sure of what I felt? — I answer, put the cell phone on the desk, look at him, and wrap my arm around his. — Don't be boring. For now they can't know that we are together, just for now!

I swing his arm to try to convince him, and he finally faces me.

— I'll just be your friend when your brother is around! - he answers, faces me, and uses his look that baffles me. I'm not talking about Thirasak, but about Nate, that's where I get lost.

— But what about reality? What is it?

In this scene, as much as I try to be professional, he is so close to me, my emotion speaks louder, I hug him and respond.

— You are my boyfriend!

— If I am your boyfriend... — he speaks, coming even closer, gluing his body to mine, I feel his mouth next to my ear. — Tonight... I can... — He kisses my neck, giving me goosebumps, and I pull him away.

— What? Don't you want to? — his question makes my heart beat faster, and this makes me think about how much I wish he would actually ask me this question. — We can just sleep, but it would be more fun if our evening was more...

— Thirasak, I... — I try to finish my sentence, however, he grabs me by the waist. Something I can't imagine Nate doing anytime soon, but it gives me more chills, we're too close together, and I'm honestly afraid of getting hard here on set.

— Yes or no, Wanchai?

— Yes... — I say in a very low tone, more like a whisper, I mean, Wanchai says and Nate, or rather Thirasak kisses my neck several times, and slowly leads me to the bed. My mouth takes hold of him, and if I remember correctly, this was not in the script.

Calm down Will, stay calm!

[...]

Since we left the set, I haven't been able to say much, I think about the scenes we shot today, and especially about the fact that Wanchai keeps hiding from his brother that Thirasak is his boyfriend. This bothers me a little, having to act out the fiction is not very good for me. As soon as we get into his car, Nate questions me.

— What's the matter with you? You look tired.

— Nothing, I'm just worried.

— With what?

— These scenes today made me thoughtful. Wanchai having to hide from his brother that he is dating Thirasak, made me think of the two of us....

— We have to pretend, it bothers you, doesn't it?

— It bothers me, but I know we can't do anything about it for now. — I say, and he moves closer to me, and strokes my face.

— It bothers me too, I wish I could expose that we are boyfriend and girlfriend! In that scene that you... I mean, Wanchai says he's my boyfriend...

— Your boyfriend? Isn't he Thirasak's boyfriend? — I ask and smile.

— Very funny! — he exclaims, moves even closer, and his face is just inches from mine. — In that scene, I controlled myself not to kiss him. — I smile like a fool when he says this.

— If I remember correctly, the script said to hold me by the waist, and give me a kiss on the neck....

— Isn't that what I did?

— The script didn't call for you to stay with your body glued to mine, and shower my neck with kisses, Nate! — I say and he smiles.

— Actors have to improvise, Will! If I remember correctly, you did the same at the end of the scene...

— What did I do?

— You kissed me, and the script didn't call for it!

— Actors have to improvise, Nate!

— Very funny! — he answers, and I wrap my arms around his neck.

— Why don't we improvise now, kitten?

— Will, my car is not like yours, with the windows so dark...

It may sound crazy to kiss in this parking lot, but if I keep waiting for him, I won't get a kiss today. I come closer and touch his lips lightly, I think I am too much in love, or too dependent on this man, and his mouth. The light kiss becomes hot, our mouths seem to need each other, and I feel his hot tongue glued to mine, and a feeling of pleasure spreads through my body, and I know that it is urgent to stop this kiss. I stop, and lean my forehead against his.

— I'm addicted to your mouth, Nate!

He smiles, and uses a look so characteristic of him that I am lost. He caresses my face, making a trail with his fingertips from my jaw to my mouth.

— I am also addicted to your mouth, your smell, your smile, and everything about you, Will!

— How about we improvise some scenes in your house? — I ask, and his eyes widen, his mouth opens and closes.

— What?