I want you, little bunny!

Nate

I look toward the door, and there are Will and my mother. I let go of Oat, and he hands me his cell phone.

— Oat, how are you, dear? You and Nate don't change, always the same stupid jokes... — except for my mom, at least I think, because my boyfriend's face doesn't look so good. I stand up and approach him.

— What's going on here, Nate? — his voice sounds like a whisper.

— Nothing, it's just that Oat wanted to get my cell phone at all costs, and I was trying to stop him.

— Lying on top of him? That's a pretty strange way to keep him from getting your cell phone, don't you think?

— Hi Will, I don't think we've been introduced yet, but I'm Oat, childhood friend of this insufferable guy, here! — Oat introduces himself and pats me on the back.

— How are you? — Will asks and extends his hand to him, but doesn't look very happy.

— It was a pleasure to meet you, Will! — he exclaims, and then looks at me.

— I’m going home, Nate!

[...]

Will was not satisfied with the fact that I was standing over Oat trying to get my cell phone back. I told him everything that happened, but it was no use, we ended up arguing and he left here angry. I've been trying to talk to him for an hour, but he doesn't answer me. I ended up talking to Lyn, and she assured me that he is at home. I am less worried, but I need to talk to him. I don't like to feel like this, with a heavy heart, knowing that my boyfriend is upset with me for something silly. I feel an overwhelming urge to punch Oat in the face about it!

Lying in bed, I think about what to do. He doesn't want to answer my phone, what do I do? I feel my cell phone vibrating next to me. I look at the screen, check the icon of messages, and my fucking friend's name comes up. I want to punch him in the face, but I'll talk to him, and if he talks more shit, I'll walk out of here just to punch that kid in the face.

Oat: Did you get along with the boy?

He looked angry, aren't you going to talk to him?

Me: What do you want? you son of a bitch

he left here angry because of you

Oat: I don't understand, isn't he just your friend? Why is he jealous of you?

Me: He's my friend

Oat: but that sounds like boyfriend jealousy

Me: No, he is just my friend

Oat: Tell us soon, he's not just a friend, is he? is there something going on between you

Me: no, there's nothing going on

Oat: If there is nothing going on, why did you make that whole scene with the phone and the things I said?

Me: No, you're wrong

Oat: Nate, please!

I know when someone is lying, and you are lying

Me: Okay, we fell in love, and we are dating!

Oat: I knew itAre you dating that prince? I'm jealous of you

Will is very cute, cuddly, yummy and

Me: Will you stop talking about my boyfriend?

Oat: calm and jealous

Me: I am not jealous. I just don't like you talking about him like that

Oat: I wonder, what did he see in you?

Me: Fuck you, Oat!

Oat: idiot

You have always been "straight" and suddenly you feel attracted to a guy.

Me: It was strange at first, especially accepting what I was feeling because I always thought I was straight, but now I know I'm not

and being with Will, taught me a lot about myself

Oat: I am happy for you

Me: There is only one problem

Oat: What?

Me: It's not really a problem, but it's something that worries me still

Oat: What is it?

Me: We haven't had sex yet

Oat: Have you?

Me: Not yet, I mean, there have been some things, but without penetration, you know?

Oat: Why?

Me: I'm scared I don't know what to do

Oat: Really? very simple, start by taking off your clothes

Me: It's not that simple

Oat: if you are in doubt it is because you want to try it

Me: No, I don't know, he even told me he can be the passive if I want

Oat: you have a beautiful boyfriend, appear to be affectionate, and have even proposed to be the passive

Man, what are you waiting for?

Oat has, what am I waiting for? Why am I afraid? Do I want to be the passive one, and don't have the courage to take it on as it happened in the dream? Is that my fear?

I want to "give it to him"?

Me: If by chance I want to, what do I do?

Oat: you know that you need to do a cleaning process so you don't run the risk of having some surprises

Me: I know that

but I don't know how to do it exactly

Oat: I'll send you some videos later, don't forget the condom

And most importantly the lubricant

Me: Right tell me

something, does it hurt a lot?

Oat: it hurts a little at first, then the pain subsides

it's just pleasure, but it will depend on the partner, don't waste time, go after him

Me: Thanks Oat

I'm going after him

Oat: I want details later

Me: You're no good

Oat is right, I need to go after Will, he left here angry with me. I've been putting it off so long that he must think that I'm not sure what I want, or that I don't want to take this one more step in our relationship. I need to clear this up once and for all.

[...]

— Make yourself at home, brother-in-law! In a little while he'll come up...

— Didn't you tell him I'm here?

— Relax, I didn't say anything to him! But what was it between you, that he came in so pissed off?

— It was a misunderstanding, Lyn! — nods in agreement, smiles.

— I hope you guys understand each other... So, bye!

— Goodbye... And thank you! — I say, smile, and then close the door.

I look around, and I am impressed by his room, I think it is three times the size of mine, it is huge. His bed is further on, facing a large balcony, which could fit four people. I observe every detail, the paintings with abstract art, or whatever... Pictures of him on the walls, and picture frames scattered about. There are pictures of him wearing glasses, with braces, it is so different from what he is today, and there are pictures with his family, and one of these picture frames, on a little table next to his bed, catches my attention. There is a picture of us, a selfie the day we went to Ratchada Rot Fai, the day we first met.

I was so tense that day, that every time he approached me, I expected him to kiss me. My mind repelled this thought, but my body was saying something else. I hear the door open, and someone talking. He enters with his cell phone in his hand, looking at the device and seems to be talking to someone on video call. Beside his bed there are two doors, one facing the other, I open one of them and enter, I don't want him to see me now, he seems to be talking intently with this person, and didn't notice my presence in his room, he sits on the bed, and I leave the door ajar.

— I booked with our friends the other Saturday, everyone will be there Including Kanya.

— So what? — asks Will.

— Come on Will, you say you don't know?

— What should I know?

— That Kanya has liked you since high school

— It's too bad for her, because I can't correspond with her!

— You know that your parents are friends with her parents, right? — the guy on the other side of the screen says and I feel like taking the phone from Will's hand, and tell this guy to go fuck himself, and stop finding girlfriends for my boyfriend.

— I know, Khai, but I'm not in the mood to please my parents anymore, and I'm not going to fool Kanya, pretend I want something with her, if the only feeling I have is friendship.

— All right But you look like you're seeing someone! Don't laugh, just confess!

— I'm not picking up anyone. I'm so tired that I don't have the courage for anything else. — he doesn't know how to lie.

— I know you're lying, and you can bring your girlfriend to our lunch. Oh, I almost forgot, Liz asked you to invite Nate! — Invite me why?

— Why does she want me to take Nate?

— She wants to meet him, she thinks he's handsome, and you know it, right? She's single...

— Okay, I will! Now, I'm hanging up, I'm tired and I want to sleep!

— Bye, Will! — I notice that he doesn't answer his friend, I look again and he is sitting on the bed looking at nothing, and his physiognomy is not at all pleasant.

— That's what I'm talking about! He wants to push me towards Kanya, and on top of that he wants me to take my boyfriend, so that Liz can be with him. Is this serious?

I listen to him cursing to himself. I open the bathroom door a little wider and step out. Will hasn't noticed my presence yet, and keeps looking toward the balcony.

— But I don't want to be with any girl! — I say and he looks in my direction, startled.

— What are you doing here? How did you get in, that I didn't see?

— Lyn opened a small gate in the back of her house.

— Ah... The gate that gives access to the dump, and that we use to escape! But why did you come?

I approach and sit on his bed, looking intensely at him.

— Because I wanted to see you, and get along with you, since you left my house angry with me! — he doesn't say anything, he just looks at me with disdain. — What you saw was no big deal, I told you, he wanted my phone number, to get your number. Since he arrived he had been asking about you, saying things that were making me angry, and...

— I'm not jealous, but you have to agree with me. That scene was complicated, you were riding on top of your gay friend, your faces were only inches apart, and two days before you told me you thought Oat was handsome, so can you imagine how I felt?

I move even closer and sit next to him.

— I know, please excuse me? He looks at me, takes a deep breath, and smiles.

— Okay... I accept your apology, Naetang!

— Are you still angry?

— No.

— Yes, you are angry! You're calling me Naetang ...

— Because that's your name, isn't it? — he asks and moves closer to me, touching his mouth to mine, kissing my lower lip lightly, stopping, and then alternating his gaze between my eyes and my mouth. — I think you'd better go home!

— Why?

— Because my parents and my sister are gone, I'm alone, and if you stay here, I'll want to go a little further than kissing, cuddling and masturbation. Do you understand?

— I see. So, I'm going to stay...

— What? What do you mean?

— I said I wanted to stay, because I've already wasted too much time! — I speak, caress his face and lightly kiss his neck, I place my mouth on his ear. — I want you, little bunny... I want to be penetrated by you!

I step back and look at my boyfriend again. Will looks like he has seen a ghost. I smile, and kiss his mouth lightly.

— Who are you? What have you done with my boyfriend?

— Stop being silly, Will!

— Seriously, the Nate I know wouldn't have that attitude. What happened?

— It just so happened, I realized how much I want you, that's all!

I really realize how much I want to feel him, how stupid I have been and created so many taboos, obstacles, all to waste our time. Before I can say anything, Will steps forward and lightly kisses my lips.