Dreams

Will

“ I've wanted it since the day I laid eyes on you.

It doesn't take long for me to take your lips to myself. It feels weird, well, I don't know how to describe it, the only thing I know is that I feel light. Your lips are so soft. I suck on his lower lip with a desire I don't know, as I wrap my hands around his neck, and at the same time I feel his hands play with my hair. The kiss intensifies, and he presses my body between the door, behind me, his hand that was playing with my hair goes down my waist, and... Suddenly I feel someone hitting my shoulder hard.

— Will, wake up! I want to borrow that yellow watch...

I open my eyes with difficulty, I'm not on the recording set. I am in my room. You mean it was all a dream ? I ask and look at my sister, who looks at me without understanding anything.

— What did you dream about? — she asks me with a cynical smile plastered on his lips.

— Nothing, I didn't dream of anything!

Lyn watches me closely.

— If you haven't dreamed of anything, why are you like this? — asks and points down, I see that my body is uncovered, and I realize where it points, my underwear.

— And just a morning erection, no big deal. Shouldn't you be in your room?

She gets up, goes into the closet. I sit on the bed and read the messages on my cell phone. It doesn't take long for you to come out of the closet with the watch.

— If it was a morning erection, why were you moaning? – she asks, and I look at her, I take the pillow and throw it, she runs away and smiling as always.

[...]

“It was just a dream!”

I repeat it as a mantra all the way to the recording set, as well as taking a deep breath. It doesn't make sense, why am I thinking about it? Repeat, Will... He's a guy, and you like girls! I stop at the light and watch the traffic in front of me, and the image of Nate 's mouth comes back to my mind. I hit the direction. What's with me? I already know I need music to forget this nonsense. I connect my cell phone, and the first one that plays is a song that is present on the soundtrack of the series, the lyrics are too beautiful.

Maybe it's because you met me by chance,

Maybe we're together by accident,

Is that it, or maybe you've never experienced this feeling,

And I also didn't know what it was like ....

Humming the chorus I realize the lyrics aren't helping, and I think about him again.

[...]

Recordings continue to go well. Ever since I had that weird dream about Nate , I've avoided being so close to him, when we go out I usually invite someone from the cast, although he's asked me if it's okay to go out alone, and I've declined. I know this isn't the first time this has happened to me, I've been excited for a guy before, but I avoided any contact with him as much as possible. It was when I was in school, it's been a while, and to forget about that madness I started dating a beautiful girl, who was in love with me, and soon after that that enthusiasm passed, although I suffered a little because I was attracted to her. by a boy. Thinking about it, maybe dating a girl is a good option, but if I start dating someone now I'll have problems with the network, after all BL actors can't date when they're under a current contract. The fujoshi needs to be fueled by a possible romance between the actors, at least that's what I hear in this niche. Even if I think it's wrong, it won't change overnight.

It 's been a few weeks since I went out alone with Nate , I've even avoided giving him a ride, however, that hasn't helped, I keep thinking about him, and the dream. The worst thing is that the recordings of episode 5 are very close, and that's exactly what has also been tormenting me, the script I received describes several scenes, including a kiss at the end of the episode. Walk to the parking lot , get out before everyone else. As I approach the car, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around, and try not to show my discomfort, but I don't think it works out too well.

— Wow, you seem annoyed with me! — Nate says as he watches me closely. — Will, if I've done something to you, please be honest and say it!

I want to laugh and cry at the same time. So he's asking me that? I'd like to see his face if I said I avoided him, because I had a very different dream about him, and I still woke up stiff. What would his reaction be?

— No need to worry, you didn't do anything to me… — Is it just me, and my desire to kiss you in a dream, or in reality? Will, please, you're in front of him!

— I thought I said something you didn't like, I feel like you're distant, you seem to want to avoid my presence, and… — I want Nate .

— I'm not avoiding you, I'm just a little too tired! — I think I need to go now...

— Wait! How about we have dinner tomorrow at my place?

— At your house?

I avoided him for a long time, and he invites me to his house for dinner… What do I do?

— Yeah... In my house! My mom wants to meet you, and...

— Does your mother want to meet me? Why?

— Because I always tell her about you, and she said it's about time I met my boyfriend! — says, and smiles in a very mischievous way, while I almost feel sick.

— What?

— I'm sorry, that's what she calls you... At first, I didn't really like it when she said 'Where's your boyfriend?', but now I think it's amusing. — I hear that, and I feel happy to be leaning against my car, without it here I would have fallen backwards.

[...]

I couldn't come up with a plausible lie to convince Nate that he couldn't meet my "mother-in-law". So at the appointed time, there I was, in front of his door, holding a bottle of French wine on one side and insecurity on the other. Before I ring the doorbell, the door is opened by a woman apparently middle-aged, with shoulder-length hair, round face and slanted eyes like mine. She smiles happily at me.

— You're punctual, I'm glad you came!

— Thank you! I brought this wine, I don't know if you like it...

Nate 's mom invites me in, and makes me extremely comfortable. She is so cheerful, affectionate, it's no wonder he talks about her time with great affection. In her speech, you can see how proud she is of her only child, and how much she must have struggled to raise him alone. The dinner was delicious, along with the conversation, I never smile so much at a family dinner, Nate 's mother told some of her son's adventures, and also told in detail, in an amusing way, how she received the news that her son would act in a BL, with that, he asks something.

— What do your parents think of all this? — I hear her question, stare at her, and my smile fades. But she seems to know something is wrong. — Do they not accept your profession, or do they not know that you are acting in a BL series?

— Both. They never accepted the fact that I studied acting. I took the course hidden from them. I had to invent a lot of lies to get the role in the series. They know I'm acting, but they don't know the show is a BL drama.

— Have you tried telling them? — Nate asks interested.

— Not yet, I think I'll tell you when the first trailer comes out. They won't be able to stop me, the series will already be practically all recorded, they won't have anything to do...

— But would they stop you?

— I don't know if Nate has already commented to you, but my family has a well-regarded heritage in and out of the country, and money was never an issue in my family, so they could pay the severance pay and get me out of this project without that I knew. That's why I want you to find out when it's almost finished. I know it will be difficult, but so far they haven't found anything.

[...]

The conversation with Nate and his mother about my family dramas was very comforting. Your mother has given me a lot of advice about my parents, but I know I'm not ready to tell you yet. Nate invited me to play the fifth episode lines in his room. I confess that this did not please me much, as I have avoided any closer contact, but it seems that it is something inevitable at the moment.

— I think Wanchai must have some problem, it's not possible that he doesn't understand that Thirasak accepted the fake relationship because there is some love interest... It's not possible! What do you think, Will? — he asks me, I look at his room, and I remember the scene we recorded, when Wanchai meets Thirasak 's room . — What is it? You seem to pay more attention to my room than to me!

— It's just that I remembered when Wanchai met Thirasak 's room ... But don't worry, your room doesn't look like his. I say, and he smiles. — I liked the decor, the miniature cars on the boards, your bed is not on the floor like his, the walls, the curtains and the furniture are all white. In Thirasak 's house it's all dark, when I read the novel I thought he was a vampire.

He and I burst out laughing. I think when we're done recording I'll miss our conversations, your laughter, your smile, your... Will , you better stop! He lies on the bed, and reads something from the script.

— This part is very sad, I don't know if I want to kill Wanchai , or kiss him.

I look at his face, he looks thoughtful, and I'm extremely lost, I think I'd better go away. I avoided him for a while, and now I'm here in his room, and he says something like this, my confused head can't take it. Before I do anything, he anticipates.

— Will, look at this!

— What? — I say and he pulls me down next to him. What the hell, Nate , you don't cooperate! I lie down and face him. ' What's so interesting? '

— Wanchai 's line , he says he's going to hit on the girl, but he's realizing that Thirasak is bad for him, and...

As he talks about his outrage at my character, I stare at him. His face is inches from mine. Wow, how handsome he is! Your mouth is beautiful, it looks so kissable ... Stop it, Will! My heart is beating wildly, he stops reading the script and his beautiful eyes look at me with curiosity, I feel an uncontrollable urge to kiss him, he is stronger than me, I bring my hand to his face, and I caress him, he looks at me scared. Maybe this could be the perfect time for a kiss? I don't know, but before I make a move, we're surprised by someone who enters the room without knocking.

— What's going on here?