I want to explain

Will

A few weeks ago Nate gave me a promise ring, and with all that ceremony he made me think that I would be proposed to. That night was wonderful. Part of our families were together, celebrating six months of dating. We talked about so many things, but something bothered me that night, and still does.

Success follows us wherever we go, it's like a coin, it has two sides, one is positive and one is negative. Not being able to assume our relationship in front of the public is something negative, but we are instructed to provoke situations for the fandom of our ship to live fed, which is something very contradictory. However this also fosters problems with part of the fandom that doesn't agree with the ship, just enjoys the work of each of us separately, and this is getting worse and worse, because there are many people who like me and stalk Nate on social networks.

Worry has become a recurring word in my mind. Nate doesn't say anything else, but I know that the fake news, and the haters have him worried and sad. This in a way hits me too, because all that image of the strong guy, who doesn't get upset about anything, is only for the cameras, and the people who don't know him, I feel that this bothers him, he is distant, downcast.

I have suggested that he seek help, both judicial and therapeutic. Nate is stubborn, and claims that he doesn't need it, and that everything will be fine, but I am not blind and I see that this is affecting his life, and somehow he doesn't seem to want to involve me, doesn't want me to know. Sometimes I think he treats me like I'm a sacred crystal that can't be tarnished, and that bothers me, because I feel like he acts like he doesn't deserve to be with me, and that makes me sad. After my mother started wanting to get close to me, I realized that this has made him worried.

She has been very insistent on seeing me. Nate doesn't like the idea very much, but she is my mother, and sometimes I miss her. I just wish she was like my mother-in-law.

[...]

At the restaurant, I think about Nate. I don't like to lie, but I chose not to tell him that I was having dinner with my mother, I don't want him to be upset before I know if my mother really deserves the benefit of the doubt, and since she assured me that it would be just the two of us, I accepted.

I look at my cell phone waiting for a call, or a message from my mother, but there is no answer. Strange. My gaze roams the restaurant looking for some sign, but who I see is not to my liking. Kânya. She approaches the table I am at and I take a deep breath.

"Is your mother here yet?" she asks and pulls out a chair to sit down.

— What are you doing here, Kanya?

— Your mother invited me to dinner...

— How is it? — I can't believe I fell for this sorry mother story, how could she be so vile? - She invited you, and said I'd be here?

— Yes.

— So, did you come for me?

— Eh... I...

— No need to answer anything else, I already understand everything!

— Will, I just wanted a chance to get closer to you! I never had the courage to do this before, and your mother, she...

— She has been putting ideas in your head, Kanya, wrong ideas!

— Will, I... - don't let her talk.

— Kanya, until now I have been ignoring your approach, but I will be honest and hope you understand once and for all! I think you are beautiful, but I'm not attracted to you, because I like men... Do you understand?

Kanya stares at me in amazement, shaking her head in the negative.

— No, it can't be! You dated a girl from our school, and...

— I wasn't brave enough to admit how I felt, and today, I won't lie to you, much less to myself!

Kanya is overcome with surprise, and I simply get up, open my wallet, leave the money on the table, and head for the exit. As I reach the entrance, I ask the clerk to bring my car, and wait. Before my car arrives, a hand grabs my arm, and as I turn around, I am surprised by Kanya, who clings to my body, wrapping her arms around me, and no matter how hard I try to pull away, she is like an octopus. Everything happens so fast, I try to pull her arms around the side of my body, she says something I don't understand, and before I can let go, I am surprised once again, now her lips lightly touch mine, I turn my face, and finally I can let go, because I think Kanya has finally come to her senses.

Her gaze seems lost. I feel sorry for her, but at the same time angry, and disgusted. I wipe my mouth, and stare at her.

— What's on your mind? Do you think I'm Sleeping Beauty, who wakes up with a kiss?

Before she can answer me, my car finally appears, I grab the keys from the valet's hand, and get in without looking at her, and start it.

[...]

I park the car in the garage of the building where my boyfriend lives. I turn off the vehicle, cry, and try to wipe my tears before going up to Nate's apartment. I don't want him to see me like this, I feel terrible. Cheated by my mother? I must feel a maternal need too great to let myself be taken in by sweet words. I need to pull myself together. I wipe away any remaining tears, grab my car key, look for my cell phone, but can't find it. Did I forget it in the restaurant?

I open the door. I look around, and there is no one in the living room. I go into the apartment, call his name, but there is no answer, could it be that he has not arrived yet? I go to the bedroom and there he is, lying on the bed, eyes closed. I sit down next to him and take one of the headphones out of his ear. He opens his eyes, and I notice that they are misty, and I quickly notice a not very pleasant expression on his face.

—Nate, I have to tell you something! — I say with restraint.

— You don't have to tell me anything, your mom posted it on Instagram, and you and your girlfriend just made out, and shared it! - he tells me sarcastically, and quickly gets out of bed. — Now, tell me what is going on, because I don't understand anything!

— What's this all about? I'm the one who doesn't understand anything!

— Don't you get it? You left the studio where we shot the commercial, saying you would meet your sisters, and before you arrive, I am bombarded with notifications stating that you are dating Kanya, because your mother posted them, and you confirmed it. — he speaks calmly, running his hands through his hair. — I'm the one who doesn't understand anything, and I want an explanation. I want to know why you were kissing that girl?

— I didn't kiss her, she grabbed me! I was wrong to lie to you. I didn't go to dinner with my sisters, but with my mother.

— Damn it, why did you do that? - he asks angrily.

— I didn't want to worry you about my mother, but I was wrong, she lied and sent Kanya instead...

— Damn it Will, how much did we talk about how she could invent something to hurt our relationship?

— Nate, listen to me!

— Why did you share? What about the story of you commenting that you were in love?

— Nothing is true. I think I forgot my cell phone in the restaurant, when I dumped Kanya, she went after me, and that was her attempt at a frustrated kiss. This is all a frame-up, and I fell for it! — I say and try to approach him from across the room, but Nate pulls away and stares at me with a long, angry look on his face.

— Don't come near me! I'm tired, these last few days haven't been easy for me, and I think you'd better leave...

— No, I'm not leaving while we are like this!

— Will, please go away before I say things I'll regret! — he says and walks to the door, opening it.

Tears begin to flow.

— Nate, I'm not going...

— Damn it, Will, don't you understand? I'm tired of people attacking me, making up a thousand and one stories about me, and still saying that I'm not worthy of you, and to top it all off... How do you think I felt when I saw my boyfriend being kissed by a woman?

He is hurt, and rightly so. I walk to the door, and before him, I wrap my arms around his body, but Nate withdraws each of them. Tears stream down his face, and it breaks my heart.

— Go away, please!

I know that he has been suffering too much, and at this moment I have nothing to do, or say, so I come to the conclusion that it is better to leave. I walk past him, stare at him one last time, but he turns his face away, and this makes me sadder. I try to hold back the tears, but they are inevitable.