Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Maryam's POV

***Two month later***

Kareem still hasn't change, he still gives me cold attitude but I don't care, I'm not backing out anytime soon, I'll continue to love him with all of my heart, because he has captured my heart.

I prepared him his favourite again this morning, which I'm not sure yet if he's going to eat it. I mean, it been 4 months 3weeks of our wedding, and he still hasn't change yet, he doesn't touch my food nor will he eat it.  He don't talk to me nor respond no matter how hard I tried to talk to him. I always make sure to wait up for him in the night before going to bed and makes sure to wake up early to prepare his food but still, he won't touch any of my food and its getting frustrating already.

I saw him coming down in his navy blue suit, white inner shirt and white shoe.

"As salamu Alaykum, good morning, I.....I prepare you a food"

He move closer to me and said "Throw this trash away, I don't....need your poisonous food!" he said through gritted teeth before walking out. I sigh frustratedly, should I back out now? No I can't, i love this man already and I can't leave him in this state, he really need someone to lean unto, but I don't know what or how to do it, how do I make him trust me?

I decide to leave that thought to a side before I finally walk up to his room, though Nanny had been cleaning up his room since the day I was married into this house but today, I'll do that my self.

I salam and entered, I had expected the room to look rough and untidy but to my surprise it was cleaned neatly, I'm very positive that nanny hasn't entered this room this morning,so how comes everywhere was so tidy up?  Uhmm,  Does that mean, he hates dirtiness. I turned around to leave his room but all of a sudden, something caught my attention. The same syringe I saw the other day was there on his nightstand. What has he been doing with this syringe? I clearly remember, he was never a doctor but a good business man. So, what was he doing with a syringe?  I moved closer and took it, I looked at it closely and couldn't even understand what the syringe is all about.

I shrug off my shoulder and decide to keep it in his drawer, it's non of my business if he has a syringe in his house or not, I opened his drawer and saw so many tons of cigarettes, syringe and so many things wrapped in papers. I took one of the paper and unwrap it "what's this?" I asked as i tried to sniff it, then I realize it was a cocaine.

Cocaine?!

"He takes cocaine too? Subhanallah! What am I going to do now?".  I thought roaming around his room. Then I decide to move everything out of the house. After I was done packing everything, I went out of his room. I picked up a scissors in my room before going outside, I unwrap all the cocaine and pour it into the bin, i used the scissors to cut every of the cigarette into pieces and also threw the syringes into the bin.

I don't know, how could a good looking guy like him, born into a well respected family but his life has totally got ruined by a mere stranger. And without thinking straight, he thought this was the right thing to do.  I really have a lot of work to do before it get out of hand. All this crazy things could destroy his health, doesn't he knows that? If he doesn't take pity on himself, at least, he should pity his poor mother. I shook my head in anger as I went straight to my room.

I entered my bathroom and take a warm long shower, I wrap my towel tightly around my self. At least, he just left for work and he's not coming back home anytime soon not until 11:00pm or 12:00am.

Then I heard his voice shouting out my name.

Kareem? In this house, by this time of the day? No way! it can't be.  I think, I'm starting to get crazy because of him. I'm not just thinking about him anymore, now I hear his voice again. I thought shaking my head.

Suddenly, the door burst open as Kareem barged into my room like a mad man.

"Kareem!  Subhanallah, what are you doing?!".  I yelled angrily as I tried to cover my self, I'm almost half naked in front of him.

"What does it seems like I'm doing... Was it true, you entered my room this morning?". He asked.

"What's wrong with him? He's acting strange".  I thought.

"Erm... Yes?"

"Where is it?" he asked as he start rummaging my room.

"Where had you kept it?!  Where is the damn thing?! Where is it?!".  He asked as he roughly scratch his nape and head furiously.

What's wrong with him? He's really scaring the hell out of me.

"Where is it?" He asked still scratching his nape, head, face and nose.

I had no idea of what he's talking about.

"Kareem, I had no idea of what you're saying" I told him truthfully.

"Don't you dare lie to me! She told me she saw you entering my room and now, I can't find it again... Where had you kept it?".  He asked angrily.

Could he be talking about those stupid things I had destroyed.

"Ka... Kareem, were you talking about the cigarettes, syringe and those stupid cocaine?".  I asked raising my brows.

Just as those words fell out from my mouth, he moved closer to me and roughly grip my shoulder tightly. His face was now pale.

"Where had you kept it?!  I need them right now! I really need them! "He roared.

"Erm... Ka.... Kareem, I threw everything away already"

"You what?!". He almost slump down but I quickly get hold of him.

He pushed me roughly away from him.  "I... I threw everything away... You don't need those things Kareem, they are harmful to your health, please Kareem, try and listen to me for once, you can do it please, don't take those harmful things again, it will only ruin your health. It might-"

I was cut off by my words as he roughly took off my towel from my body taking me off guard. I wide my eyes in horror as I quickly use my hand to cover up my body, but who was I kidding? There's nothing a hand could do.

"What are you doing Kareem?".  I ask in a low voice. Now, his face looks scary just like the first day he'd punished me in his friend's presence.

"You dare entered my room right? And you have the audacity to take my things away from my room! now you'll face the consequences"

He took a step forward and I took a step backward. Unfortunately, I fell on the bed mistakenly, I was about to get up and run away from him, but he was faster than I was. He pinned me on the bed roughly.

"Ka...Ka...Kareem, what are you doing? You can't do this, its wrong".  I told him shivering but it felt like I was only speaking to the air, he never paid attention to whatever I've been saying. The only thing I could see in his eyes was lust for my body.

"I'll make you pay for what you've done to me, you will pay" he said kissing my neck roughly.

"Kareem please stop" I begged crying.

"Shut up woman or you'll regret what I'm going to do to you next" he warned.

"Kareem please, please don't touch me,this isn't right"

"You're a whore right? So why are you becoming shy all of a sudden? You gave your self to me the other day, so why not now?" he asked licking my earlobe.

"Kareem please stop!".  I pleaded to him continuously to stop but he never listen.  "Is this how he's going to take advantage of me again? He can't do this to me, no not again".  I thought crying.

And within a blink of an eye, the deed has already been done. I screamed, I shouted for him to stop but he never listen.

****

I was in the bed crying silently when I heard his voice.   "Mar.... Maryam, look I didn't mean for this to happen okay?  I wasn't thinking straight, I don't know what had come over me " he said as if it's something normal.

How dare him?  He didnt even bother to apologise for what he has done. But I wasn't even after that, since all this while that I was thinking that he never knows my name not occuring to me that he did, he got my name right this time around.

"Look.... Can we talk about this? I never intend to do that to you, it was all a mistake, a mistake I'll forever regret, you got me angry, and then seeing you in that towel, you made me remember the woman I loved, you look just as exac-"   I faced him and slapped him so hard on his cheek. Now, I don't care if I'm naked in front of him.

"How dare you Kareem?! How dare you compare me with her?! How dare you compare me with someone who had destroyed your life?!   While I'm far different from her! Can't you see the difference clearly?!  She ruined your life while I was trying to fix you! Can't you see that?!"

"I made a very big mistake for loving you Kareem!  I wish, I had never loved you! I wish, I hadn't because you don't deserve my love!   Never in anyway did you!  First, you took my virginity, I gave you my body without thinking straight, I believed I was your wife and I had to perform my duty, but what did you do in return Kareem?  You video tape our love making!  You played it to your friends! You did! But still I never complained.

I kept believing that, someday you'll change and realize all of your mistakes but no, you did not....and now what?! You raped me kareem! You raped me for Allah sake! What have i done to deserve all of this from you Kareem?! Just exactly what have i done to you?! You had been living in pure darkness for some years now, I wanted to help and this is what you think is right to repay me with?!

You don't pray, you don't read your Qur'an. The only thing you're good at was to smoke and drug your self with those harmful things... I thought, I'd be able to change you but I had forgotten one thing, that a monster will forever be a monster......

Then listen carefully Kareem Abdulazeez, right from this moment, I'll never come to you again! I'll never talk to you unless its necessary! I'll never beg for your attention! I'll never bother waking up early because of you, I'll never bother my self trying to change you for good. If you like, change your ways if you like, don't I really don't care! i won't forgive you Kareem! I won't forgive you for what you've done to me today" I told him with my teary eyes.

"Listen i-" He started but I stood up instead, I picked up my already towel on the floor and wrap it around my body. I entered the bathroom and locked my self in. I slumped my self down on the floor and burst into another fresh tears.

Was he about to say something?  I don't think so.  He's heartless, he won't even understand what I had just said to him.  He will forever be a monster, I've made the biggest mistake of my life for falling in love with a monster, it's a pity.