CHAPTER TEN: LEO

CHAPTER TEN: LEO

Today marks the fifth anniversary of my parents' deaths. On this day five years ago, our parents died, and Shane lost his ability to speak. Even after five years, the image of Shane hooked up to machines haunts my dreams. Every year on this day, I was in a bad mood, so I rarely did anything except visit their grave. I went over to Shane's room to see if he was awake.

I found him sitting on his bed with his hands over his face, and when he looked up to acknowledge me, I noticed he was crying.

I rushed over to him. "Are you all right, Shane?" I asked, sitting on the edge of the bed beside him and pulling him into a hug. I rubbed my hand down his back, trying to comfort him, but he continued to cry for thirty minutes before stopping.

"Hey buddy, can you tell me what's going on, you're making me worried," I asked quietly but he looked away, as if trying to avoid my question. "I need to know what's going on, Shane, please tell me," I insisted.

"Why didn't I just die with them that day, Leo, my life stinks" Shane signed and my heart dropped; I knew if we didn't talk about it at the time it happened, it would come back and bite me in the ass.

"Shane, don't ever say that again, if you had died in that accident, I wouldn't have anything to live for, because of you, I was able to put up with our father whenever he threw his tantrums," Before continuing, I paused to examine his expression. "Because of you, I was happy after a long time. You are the light in my dark world, you give me hope and I will be devastated if you weren't here with me. That day at the hospital when they told me you survived I was so fucking happy, Shane"

"But I always cause trouble or put you in a bad situation, and I don't like that you have to suffer because of me." Shane signed with a distressed expression on his face.

"I don't care about all that Shane, what I care about is your well-being, so if you're okay, I'm good, and every other issue can fuck itself, Shane, I love you to the moon and back, so don't you ever forget that huh."

"I love you too, Leo, I'm not sure what got into me, I shouldn't have said that, forget everything I just said"

"Shane, I won't forget it because that's what you felt at the time, but as much as it scares me that you think dying that night was better, I'm glad you told me, so please come talk to me whenever you feel that way."

"Leo, don't worry, I'm fine now."

"Shane, promise me that if you ever feel this way again, you will talk to me."

"I swear to you, Leo, I'll tell you if I ever feel this way again."

"All right, let's get this day over with,"

Shane smiled at me and drew me into a hug, "Leo, thank you for being the best big brother ever," I returned his hug, smiling into his eyes, "Thank you for being my little brother Shane," I replied, and we stayed this way for a few minutes before he let go.

"Little man, I need you to get ready because we need to leave in thirty minutes if we want to make it back in time; you know your suspension ends today, so we need to get back home early so you can be ready for school tomorrow."

"OK, okay, I'm going, but do I really have to go back to that school?" Shane signed, sighing loudly as he ran his hands through his messy hair.

"Even if I wanted to take you out of that school, it's not possible, so we both don't have a choice,"

"Yeah, yeah," he said as he pushed me out of his room. I laughed as I walked to the kitchen to make some sandwiches for us to eat on the way. When I was finished and the sandwiches and drinks were all packed up, I went to the bathroom, hoping Shane was already done. He was leaving the bathroom by the time I arrived, so I entered the bathroom and took a quick shower. By 4:48am I was done getting dressed.

Shane and I were out of the apartment by five o'clock in the morning and on our way to New York by 5:10 a.m. The back was quiet, so I assumed he was plugged in and playing with his Nintendo. Three hours later, Shane became hungry, so I handed him the sandwich and a can of cola, and when he was satisfied, he fell asleep.

Since Shane was asleep at the time I stopped the car so I could eat something before we continued our journey to New York.

It was 9:00 a.m. when we arrived in New York; the drive had taken four hours, but we arrived in one piece and on time so I drove to the cemetery where our parents were buried.

I stopped on our way to the cemetery to get some flowers; by the time we arrived, Shane had already awoken and signed, "Are we there yet?"

"Yeah little man, I just want to find a parking spot so we can get this over with," I replied

"Yeah, I just want to go back home also, being here just makes me feel shitty," he signed as I packed the car into an empty spot I found. We both exited the car and began walking toward our parents' graves.

DENICE SMITH

1974-2013

WIFE AND BELOVED MOTHER

IN GOD'S HANDS WE TRUST

****************

ADAM SMITH

1964-2013

HUSBAND AND BELOVED FATHER

IN GOD'S HANDS WE TRUST

Looking at their tombstones now seemed like a joke, our mother never acted like one, she ignored us, using her work as an excuse, Shane was still little back then so he didn't know what was going on, and our father on the other hand was a scumbag until the day he died, when he still had his job, he was less of a jackass but after he lost it, he took his anger on everyone around him especially on me. I tried giving Shane the childhood he deserved but they ruined that for him too.

"Leo, I don't want to come here next year or the next, coming here every year just makes it harder to forget, let's just stop coming," Shane said, and I watched him as he stared at their tombstone without emotion.

"I was going to ask you if you wanted to stop coming here, not just next year, but forever, because we have to let them go someday so we can give ourselves time to heal."

"I'm not sure why we keep coming here even though they didn't deserve it Leo, they were the worst parents on the planet." Shane signed, his eyes welling up with tears.

"I guess we needed closure," I said, looking at their graves.

"Goodbye, mum and dad, we hope you're happier now than when you were with us," Shane and I said as we laid flowers on their graves. We made two more stops, both of which were to see Lily and Ripper.

LILY HUSTON

1997-2012

DAUGHTER AND BELOVED SISTER

REMEMBER YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CAN FILL THE WORLD WITH SUNSHINE

********

RIPPER DANIELS

1994-2014

BROTHER AND BELOVED FRIEND

NOBODY OWES NOBODY NOTHING

R.B

"Hey guys, Shane and I moved away and we are now living our lives for ourselves, you don't have to worry about us anymore, we both love you and wish you were still here, take care of yourselves up there," I said wiping a tear from my cheek, placing a single rose on Lily's grave and a picture of Rocky on Ripper's grave before we both turned to go back to the car.

"Leo," I heard someone call my name, and I turned around to see a very familiar face: Tommy, Lily's older brother, who looked much older now, and a woman I didn't know was standing beside him.

"Hey Tommy, it's been a while, how are your folks?" With a smile, I asked.

"They're doing fine Leo, oh this is my wife Sammy, we came to see Lily," Tommy said, "It's nice to meet you Tammy, this is my brother Shane." I said and Shane waved at her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you both." Tammy replied.

"What about you and Shane and your parents?"

"Tommy, they died a year after you guys left, in a car accident," I replied.

"I'm sorry, man," Tommy said softly,

"No worries, man, everyone dies someday," I said with a pained smile,

"You came here to see them?" Tommy asked, "Yes, Tommy,"

"Have you seen Lily?"

"That's where we were just coming from, it was nice seeing you again Tommy," I said.

"Take care of yourself, Leo; can I get your phone number so we can stay in touch?" Tommy asked, bringing out his phone from his back pocket.

"Okay no problem, but we don't live around here; we moved to a small town called Anwood, which is a four-hour drive from here,"

"It's good you guys got out of this neighborhood, it was really shitty here," Tommy said as I took his phone to enter my number.

"Yeah, it was, take care of yourself Tommy, it's good to see you again, and it was nice to meet you Tammy again."

"Same here, Leo, take care of yourself you guys," Tommy said as he and his wife waved as we walked to the truck. I let out a sigh when we got in; I had no idea I was holding it in; but I'm glad they're all okay.

"Are you okay, Leo?" Shane asked, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm fine, little man, just surprised that's all, let's get going, we've got a long way to go," I said, staring at the graves of our family as we drove away from the cemetery, we said goodbye to that old life with one last glance.

We got back to Anwood by 3:00 pm, we got home an hour early, I was tired and in no mood to cook so we stopped at Rudy's for lunch, I hoped to see my little red hair princess today, maybe I'll finally grow some balls and ask her out, but I made a plan with Shane instead because I didn't want to look like a creep.