33

Khushi

I sometimes wonder how my life would have turned out if Niranjan had not set his eyes on me at the university and did not take his so-called revenge on me by portraying me as the one trying to seduce him and break his marriage.

What if Anjali Rathore had not been a killer?

What if Arnav and I had carried on having feelings for each other and one day confessed that feeling? What if we had dated each other and gotten married?

Would I have gotten my happily ever after with him?

Maa used to tell me the story of a prince charming falling head over heels for the princess and taking her away to his kingdom for a happy-ever-after.

When I used to fall asleep hearing that story, I would dream of exactly that ending. A prince coming to me in his white horse and taking me away to his kingdom where there would be only happiness and love between us.

In those few days, when I first developed feelings for Arnav, I saw my prince charming in him.

I really did.

He was not the typical prince charming type. Absolutely not. He had his own style.

A rude man with a cold demeanor. That is what I had portrayed him to be after our first meeting.

But as the circumstances arose when we had to be in each other's vicinity. Sometimes going to get Priya's and Aashish's wedding outfits, and sometimes going to check the venue for their wedding. Those were the few instances when we had to be together.

Not that I ever wanted to go anywhere with him. I knew I needed to steer clear of him if I wanted to enjoy the wedding without thinking about how satisfying it would be to punch him.

That is what Arnav did to me. Whenever I interacted with him, he would push all my buttons in such a way that I would be left breathless with anger.

But slowly, as we started interacting on more occasions, I began to see a new side to him. A side wherein he would give me his genuine smile-the one that would make his eyes twinkle. A side wherein he would share his sadness, wherein he would ask me if I believed in making a wish by looking at a shooting star. All in all, a side wherein he showed how he perfectly hid his vulnerability with his rough exterior.

And I did not know when I started being drawn to him. I was drawn not only to his lighter side but also to his brooding side.

Also, I knew he was drawn to me too. I could see it in the way he talked with me. I could see it in his smile-that one small smile that was reserved only for me.

If everything had remained perfect, ours could have been a sweet love story.

The one where two people first hate each other's guts, then become friends, and then lovers. Then they get married one day to have their forever together life.

But when has life been perfect for me? When has the situation been ideal for me?

That is why instead of living in my happily-ever-after, I am stuck in this hell, which I can't wait to walk away from.

Instead of Arnav being the best thing that happened to me, he became the worst thing I wish would never happen to any other girl.

I sighed as I slowly stood up from the corner of the room.

It has been a week since that night when I made a deal with Anjali-an agreement to destroy Arnav.

I had been relieved that night because I was one step closer to destroying the Rathore siblings.

I had even slept well after a long time that night.

I had Anjali where I wanted her to be. So, the next step was getting Arnav to believe in me.

I smirked as I recounted what had happened the following morning after that night.

I opened my eyes and sat up on the sofa with a start as someone splashed the water on my face.

Looking up, I saw Arnav standing in front of the sofa with a glass in his hand.

"What is the matter, Arnav?" I asked, feeling myself shiver. But the shiver was not from the cold water that was now running down my face to neck to my chest. It was because of the way Arnav was glaring at me.

He did not say anything, only kept standing there with an imperceptible expression on his face, and I slowly stood up from the sofa.

I hate myself for still fearing him. One angry look from him, and I get the flashes of everything he is capable of.

He has given me his so-called word not to ever hurt me the way he did before he knew the truth. But no matter what he says, I can never believe him.

After all, how can I trust a heartless rapist?

"Anjali brought you to the room last night after you passed out from drinking," I said, trying to fill the silence that was starting to scare me.

"Where are your parents, Khushi? Where did you transfer them?" He asked me.

I had expected this question to arise since Nisha successfully transferred my parents, which is why I am prepared to answer him.

"They are somewhere safe, Arnav," I began, and as I saw Arnav getting angrier, I quickly continued to douse that anger. "I know you think I did it because I want to escape from you. I know you think I got my parents somewhere safe so I would run away at the next opportunity without worrying about you using my parents to get me back.

"But you cannot be more wrong, Arnav. Believe me when I say I do not want to leave you. I want to be with you here. I want to be close to you," I lied.

Well, it was not a total lie. Now that I think about it, it is actually the truth.

I do want to be here. I want to be close to him, but not how he wants me to be.

I want to be here so I can destroy him. I want to be close to him so I can revel in his destruction.

'You have wounded me deep not only in body but in my soul too. So, how can I leave without giving you what you deserve?' I thought, looking at Arnav.

"Are you telling the truth, Khushi?" He asked, his eyes still skeptical as he peered at me.

"Yes, Arnav. I know we have been through a rough phase in our lives. You made some mistakes and hurt me. But I have begun to see how remorseful you are about what you did," I said, cringing inwardly at my choice of words.

'What you did were not mistakes, Arnav. They were the crimes you committed. You raped me and abused me. You did the worst a man could ever do to a woman.' I thought the words that I could not say out loud.

I have understood it is no use telling all those things to Arnav. Those will only remain to be empty words to him until he realizes the gravity of his crime.

And that day will come soon. Very soon.

With that thought in my mind, I continued speaking. "I also talked with Anjali last night. She told me how much you love me and everything you did was because of the love you had for me.

"I know I have wasted so much time already by being stubborn and refusing to forgive you. But now I have realized my folly. I do not want to waste another second, Arnav. I want to start my married life with you," I finished, resisting the urge to fist my hands or show any sign which would expose my lie to Arnav.

I have never cringed so hard in my life ever.

Everything I just said goes against everything I believe in with every fiber of my being.

But I need to do this. I need to win his trust so I can move on to the next step of my plan.

So, I continued to look at Arnav as he stared back at me. I knew he was contemplating whether to believe me or not.

I felt my heart race as I waited for his answer.

"Are you speaking the truth, Khushi? Are you sure you want to give me another chance with all your heart?" He asked me, and I almost scoffed. Thankfully, I stopped myself in time.

I cannot fathom why he is asking me these questions when my answers do not matter to him at all. Even if I said no to those questions, he would still force me to be with him until I gave in.

"Yes, Arnav. I am ready to give your love for me another chance," I uttered, trying to sound sincere, and I wondered if he believed me.

But I did not have to wonder for long because the very next second, Arnav pulled me to him and engulfed me in a hug.

Disgust rose within me as I felt his arm around me. I fought against my instinct to push him and tried my best not to tremble as he ran his hands up and down my back.

'If this is the price I need to pay to get my revenge, then so be it,' I thought as I raised my shaking hand to hug him back.

It has been exactly seven days since that morning.

I have noticed a few changes in Arnav since then. He has relaxed around me. He smiles more, talks more, and shares more.

I can tell he has genuinely believed my lie about giving his love a second chance.

I sighed deeply and shook my head as I thought about his love.

What he feels for me is not love because no person would do what he did to me with someone they claim to love.

When I was that naïve girl who believed in sweet love stories and dreamed of the same in my life, I used to think when I would love someone, that would be it for me.

I used to think I would love only one person in my life. That would be the person I would marry and live happily with.

I stupidly used to think once you love someone, there is no way you can un-love them.

But I could not be more wrong. Because I un-loved Arnav the moment he forced himself inside me. One second was all it took to dissipate every little and big feelings I had for him.

In that one second where he shredded my dignity, he also shattered every illusion I had about loving him.

That was the moment when I started harboring resentment toward him. I was weak then, so I could not do anything at that time.

I feel pathetic every time I recall how I used to beg him not to hurt me, how I used to plead with him to let me rest for one night, how I used to scream for him to stop when he mercilessly pounded inside me.

I wiped the angry tears that slid down my face as I got the flashes of those nightmarish memories.

Every time Arnav broke me more, the resentment I had for him grew. And now, it has grown to such an extent that I have nothing but hatred left for him within me.

The hatred that has been growing like fire within me.

"And now it is time to burn Arnav Rathore in that fire," I said aloud as I dialed a number to begin the third step of my plan.