08 - PAIN OF LOVE
-SAGE-
Dark
and
Deep
"Dark and deep. Just like the richest and the purest soil."
Mumma used to say this whenever she combed my hair.
" My daughter has the eyes of the greenest forest and the hair of the richest soil."
She would say.
Gone are the days. She isn't here anymore nor is her daughter pure anymore.
A soft sight escapes my lips as I place the hairbrush on the dresser. I run my fingers through my hair but disappointment seeps into me when it ended just near my shoulders.
Mumma would be so disappointed in you, Sage.
All I could do was sigh before opening the door of my room walking out. My anxiety probably began kicking in as I walked down the stairs.
Sabrina, Elena and Enrique were sitting in the living room. Elena and Sabrina were giggling about something while Enrique was tying on his phone furiously.
Elena and Sabrina both were wearing black tube dresses, pencil heels, perfectly styled hair and flawless makeup. I looked back at myself, a mustard oversized sweater, black jeans, no shoes, open hair and no makeup. The difference was pretty clear.
Why can't I be like them ? Why can't I be so flawless and lucky like them ? Why did I have to be the odd one out ? Why me ? WHY ME ?
" Sage." I gasp as Elliot yells hugging me from behind.
" My adorable little doll." he laughs kissing my cheeks.
" Elliot." I whisper. He knew I didn't like when someone yells near me or surprises me with their touch.
I just hate being touched.
Touch. A need for humans. A sign of love. A way to show care and consideration, I didn't like to be touched.
" Morning baby." Sabrina smiles when they finally look towards us.
I hum in response sitting down on the couch near her. Elliot sits on the floor in front of me and places his head on my lap closing his eyes sleepily.
" How are you ?" Sabrina asks stroking my cheek.
I hum in response again nodding my head. Just leave me alone . . .
" Morning guys." Shawn yells as he runs in the room with a tray of muffins.
" Tada." he smiles as he hands it to Elena and sits beside me.
" I made muffins for you." he whispers handing me one.
" Me ?" I whisper holding the muffin tightly.
" Yes baby." he smiles.
He didn't need to tell me twice. A huge grin formed on my lips as I stuffed the muffin down my throat. Happiness gushed in me as the sweetness bursts on my tastebuds.
My eyes widen as I choked on the muffin. Elliot held his tummy rolling on the floor giggling at my reactions as Sabrina helped me drink some water.
" Slow there baby." Elena chuckles handing me a paper towel.
" Why aren't you ready to go to the hospital today ?" Sabrina asks wiping my lips.
" Now she's a doctor too ?" Enrique scoffs rolling his eyes.
" Really dude ?" Elliot snaps.
" I got all her pills and her daily injection doses yesterday." Shawn lets a nervous laugh.
" I know. I'm taking about her therapy classes. She needs to attend that." Sabrina says.
Shawn looks at me biting his lips as I stare down at my lap. I hate putting my brother in such situations.
" Her therapist ran away." he mutters.
" What ?" Elliot screams jumping up.
" She ran away." Elena yells as Shawn nods.
" Dammit." Elliot cries out loudly.
" You lost." Elena laughs.
" I placed a bet for two weeks. She ran away just after a week." He huffs giving his money to Elena.
" Sage, why ?" Sabrina mutters.
" Sorry." I mumble as my hair curtains my face.
It isn't my fault. They ask me what I feel, they want me to share my pain but when I do, none of them are able to bear it.
" This was your fourth therapist in two months, love." she whispers as I nod.
Fifth, accurately fifth.
" What does she do that all her therapists run away ?" Enrique asks keeping his phone aside.
" None of your business." Shawn snaps.
" Suit yourself." he rolls his eyes.
" Morning kiddos." Mason smiles as he walks down the stairs with a bright smile.
" Morning dad." Enrique smiles.
" Morning son." he says.
I stare at Enrique in confusion as to how his behavior turned. This was probably the most civil thing I've seen between them.
" All of you on the breakfast table now." he says as Elliot rolls his eyes running to the dining room.
" Come, Sage." Sabrina says.
I nod following them to the dining room. A sad pout forms on my lips as the flashes of yesterday hits me. It isn't something new, dad does gift me such words all the time but with Enrique being here, it feels more difficult to ignore them.
I stand there with Shawn and Elliot bickering about something. Sabrina sits down arranging the dishes on the table as I watch her do it.
Enrique glares at me before he sits on his chair. My eyes widen as dad rushes in the room busily tying his tie.
He stops in his tracks upon the sight of me, I bite my lips as he looks at me from head to toe with disappointment dripping from his gaze.
" Where's your shoes ?" he asks.
I shake my head.
" Why didn't you tie your hair ?"
I shake my head.
" Why can't you dress like a girl from a wealthy family instead of looking like a beggar ?"
I shake my head.
" Pathetic." he mutters sitting beside Enrique.
Shawn pulls out my chair making me sit, as he glares at dad.
" Morning Mr Martinez." Enrique smiles.
" Morning son. So you're finally taking over today. I'm so proud of you." dad smiles patting Enrique's back.
" Thank you Mr Martinez, I'm so glad that I'm finally back and ready to rule the kingdom we've made." Enrique smiles.
Sabrina rolls her eyes at her talk and hands me my plate. Mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, warm bowl of cereal and a piece of avacado , just the sight of it had my insides groaning.
" Bacon ?" I whisper looking at the fresh juicy bacon.
" Sorry." Sabrina whispers sadly.
I nod my head not wanting dad to catch our attention. Looking back at my plate, I begin with the cereal to avoid it getting more soggy.
I look back at Elliot to see him busy saying something to Sabrina. Dad was busy with Enrique and Shawn was busy wrestling with the eggs on his plate.
Slowly my hand crawls to Elliot's plate as I pull a piece of bacon from it. Immediately, I stuff it in my mouth chewing on it as quick as possible. My taste was so good that I could barely stop myself from moaning out loud.
" Morning everyone." Shawn groans as Ethan marches in the room.
Ethan. My bully and my cousin. The biggest b*tch I've ever seen. He came here to study an year ago and hasn't left since then, according to Elliot's thoughts, Ethan's cursed soul might never leave us.
" Morning uncle." he smiles at Dad.
" Morning son." dad says happily as Ethan sits beside him.
Everyone begin eating there breakfast. I roam my tongue around my mouth feeling the taste of the bacon.
" Shawn, aren't you and Sage late for the hospital today ?" Mason asks as Shawn shares a look with Sabrina.
" Actually her therapist is sick so we won't go for a few days." Shawn says.
" What's wrong with her ?" Dad asks.
Tears began threatening to fall already because I knew Shawn was going to get it all because of me.
" Just fever." Sabrina says.
Dad looks at us suspiciously before nodding his head.
" They're lying. Sage chased her therapist away." Enrique's voice booms in the room.
I gasp looking up at his blank face. Shawn sighs loudly gripping my hand tightly as Elliot begins yelling at Enrique.
" Sage ?" Dad growls.
Ethan bursts out laughing uncontrollably as I felt tears of embarrassment fill in my eyes.
" I'm tired of this girl." Dad yells glaring at me.
" Now where will I find you another f*cking therapist ? Why can't you just leave us alone ? Just go and die somewhere, please." he growls.
" Dad." Shawn screams.
" Its alright uncle. Please don't say such things to her please." Elliot says giving my dad puppy dog eyes.
Dad calms down at this and begin eating his breakfast furiously. I look at Enrique who was sipping on his coffee casually as if nothing has happened.
My tears fall in the bowl of milk and cereal making me cringe. I hate myself.
" Anyway, leaving all this nonsense aside, I want to announce something." dad says gaining the attention on the table again.
" Mason and I have decided something. Everyone on Ellesmere knows that we were going to have a wedding which would connect the two families but since it couldn't happen, we've decided that Sabrina and Enrique will be tied in the holy bond now."
My breath hitches as the spoon drops from my hand crashing on the plate. Tears immediately pool into my eyes as I stared up at my father and Enrique.
" What ? No." Shawn screams.
" Shawn, behave." dad growls.
" No. Sabrina can't marry this asshole." Shawn growls.
" She has given her consent." dad says as I stare back at Sabrina.
She looks at me with tears in her eyes, the feeling of betrayal was hitting my heart even though she was taking something which isn't mine anymore.
" No. " Shawn groans in frustration.
" Your opinion doesn't matter. Enrique and Sabrina are both ready for this and it's important especially what all your little sister has done. This has to happen for our reputation." Dad growls glaring at me.
" My little sister is your daughter too and she didn't do anything wrong." Shawn growls.
" Doesn't matter." dad mutters.
" We didn't want to hurt anyone. Sage, I know its hard for you sweetie but we all have to move on one day." Mason says.
I nod at his words. My mind didn't want to hear anything more. I just wanted to be left alone. Alone with my demons.
" I'm so honored to be married to someone like Sabrina." Enrique smiles up at Sabrina.
My lips tremble as I stare at him, looking at my sister. Nothing felt more painful than seeing the man I worshipped loving someone else.
" Mumma would never like this." I whimper wiping my tears harshly.
" Well too bad, your b*tch of a mother isn't here to decide that." dad yells making Shawn roar in anger.
" You're an a*shole." Shawn yells at dad storming out of the room.
" Sage." Sabrina sobs placing her hand on my shoulder.
" Go away." I whisper yanking her hand away.
Why me ?
Why me ?
Why me ?
- Love that we can't have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest-
