Twenty-nine

I let the gashes roll down my cheeks. The feelings all came churning in together. I let myself sit on the ground and just let it come crashing down.I felt my breath consolidate, I felt myself scream but I wasn't sure if my voice indeed came out. I gripped my casket, hoping for the pain, the fear, the anxiety to dissolve, it wanted it gone. I didn't want to feel like that, I didn't want to feel like this. Watching Mark walk down cut down and the study that we had been together for so long yet he allowed so lowly of me. I know i wasn't perfect, i was noway trying to be. I was just then simply being and trying to find my own place, to find my own form of expression and just being me. I didn't mean to hurt anyone, not Mark, or Cole or indeed Dylan.

“ Elle?!” I heard Edith's voice call. She was at the far end of the hallway, weaning the beautiful blue dress and some corresponding high heels. She had put on some dark eyeshadow and a nice shade of raw for her lips. On her neck, she had a heart-shaped choker that i hadn't recognized as hers. Oh, perhaps it had been too long my family had actually dressed up. Ryan recognized me and followed behind Edith. He looked dashing in his black suit and the shade of blue he'd picked for the smart shirt. These two looked good together, i hoped they would stay together.

“ Elle, what is passing?” Edith knelt down to where i was sitting

. “ You'll ruin your dress.” I laughed sounding so sardonic.

“ Is she alright?” Ryan asked looking over at me. There were innumerable times i had seen him serious and this very time, in this very moment, i saw that look again. He was concerned.

“ I'm just tired of everything,” I said looking over at her. Edith was trying to help me to my bases but i wasn't giving in, i wanted to stay there on the ground, blubbing and just being miserable because that's what i was in this moment.

“ Do not do this to yourself, not then, so numerous people have cameras,” Ryan said. He was right, but at this point, Steph could have formerly released the filmland to the media and who knew, perhaps i was formerly the talk of the city. Or the whole damn country.

“ Help me get her up.” Ryan reached over to me and seized me by my shoulders. I was on my bases in not me, I mean, the joe was super strong. He was well erected and looked like an athlete.

Edith helped off my gashes with an upset and concerned look.

“ We can go nearly and talk, just not then okay?” She said trying to make sure I could hear them. I jounced.

“ I'll be with the others,” Ryan said walking back to the main hall where the exhibition was passing.

Edith and I decided we'd go to a near cafe or nearly where we'd sit and talk. Tromping through the crowd. We managed to get past the people and the buses that were situated.

We walked to the other side of the road where we spotted a cafe and we made our way there.

“ I told Dylan about everything Edith.” I said fighting back gashes. I didn't want to cry, not in this public place where so numerous could see me and these mode teenagers could fluently take a videotape of me.

We sat on a table near the window. The waitress walked over to us and Edith ordered a milkshake for me and law for her.

“ Elle, you have to stay strong, this isn't bigger than who you truly are. However, all you'll get is feeling miserable, If you cry trust me.”

I didn't really agree with her that. It was a fifty-fifty kind of thing when a person or when i cried. The first form of studies that come by are completely negative. My mind indeed takes me back to a commodity that went so wrong when i was perhaps in council. It comes back and acts as a conviction.That yeah, i smelled as a mortal being. But also over time as i continue to cry, a form of stopgap comes through and i start to say no to the negative studies.

“ Wow! That was so stalwart of you. How did the big man take it.”

“ He was angry, but he ultimately took it all in and also agreed to help me find the person behind this.”

“ Well, that's a good launch. I don't know what happens in that dressing room with you and Steph, what happens?”

.I took in a deep breath and started to explain. “ The day she walked by on Cole and i, we were actually kissing.”

Edith s eyes brows shot up in surprise. It was only natural; for her to be.

“ So when we were alone that day n the dressing room, she easily told me to my face that she knew that and further effects about me.”

Edith but on her lower lip. “ That was suspicious.”

“ Exactly what i suppose that she could conceivably be the person who has been stalking me and taking that filmland.”

“ Yeah that's a possibility but what's her motivate?”

I shook my head. That's what i wanted to know.

“ So you told Dylan about everything and showed him the filmland? And that you guys are now working together to find the person doing this to you?”

I jounced. That was veritably correct.

“ He's an operative he more come up commodity presto,” Edith said

I eyes landed on her neck at the heart shaken choker she had on. I smiled, i was sure it was gift from Ryan if not also she had brought it o impress and look good for him. Feelings can be like that when you're just starting out. But i was glad she was kind of pushing herself to keep trying with someone new.

“ Tell me about Ryan.” Incontinently i said his name, his face broke into a huge smile. There it was, a spark. Her right hand moved to her neck where she began to play with the heart-shaped choker. Bingo! Ryan had blessed it to her.

“ He's a great man Elle and i really like him too.”

Indeed, yes we all could easily see that.

“ Is there anything holding you back from completely enjoying what he has to offer?”

Edith looked at me

“ I'm twenty-nine times old Ell, he's your age.” I could only imagine how she felt, feeling as if she had passed a certain age where she could be with someone. But that isn't how it was, those were some shit burro rules someone in society decided to set. Love doesn't come to everyone at the same time, or in the veritably same way, that was the verity society was supposed to be sermonizing.

“ Edith, i know how you're feeling, but age is just a number, the main thing is how are you suitable to stay strong as a couple?”

. “ We aren't yet a couple.” She laughed

“ Well, you're surely heading there.” At least, the commodity was going on right for one of us.

******

Edith didn't let me go back to my apartment and be on my own. She claimed that i stay with for a day or two until she was certain i could go back.

Edith's apartment was way, way neater than mine. As soon as i walked by, i was saluted with a settee that didn't have any clothes, any ladles, or CDs or any socks on it. Her living room bottom had a slate carpet and i saw no single cloth, jeans, or a bra laying carelessly unattended too.

“ Your apartment is well better.” I moaned throwing myself onto her settee. It was comfortable i was sure my reverse could survive for the night.

“ I know, i'm the only person who remembers what mum tutored us.” She was correct.

Edith had gone to her bedroom to place her handbag neatly as she did with all her effects. She also walked back to where i was.

“ I've placed some sweat pants announcement a t-shirt for you to use. I want you to be comfortable.” I stood to my base's announcement hugged her. She was the one person that was ever by my side, indeed in all my stupid conduct, she didn't leave me.

I walked to the room and the sight of her well-made bed made my jaw drop. The wastes were white, from the pillows the who wastes under that min mask she used.

“ Do you indeed sleep on this bed!”

“ Of course!”

I let myself feel the material of her robes and it was clean, it didn't look dirty or indeed smell of sweat.

I changed out of the dress I had been in for the day and wore the sweat pants which were dark green and a black t-shirt.

When I walked back to the living room, Edith had formerly picked a movie for us to watch. She had also placed a coliseum of chips on the table.

“ Alice in Wonderland.” I said, “ You must be kidding me!”

. “ Shut up and watch you know I love this bone.” She laughed, waving for me to join her in the kitchen.

*******

I was so glad that it was Saturday. That meant further sleep time, further sleep hours, and further rest tie for me and Edith. I loved her bed. The pillows were so soft i was sure then was water in them. The mask and the wastes were so clean i could still smell of the fresh scent coming off them. This was a woman was smart, like literally. My bed spent of my own sweat occasionally, yet hers, it was fresh all through. She said the secret is what mum told us when we were youngish and that's washing and changing the bed covers every week. Well, it was a practical approach alright, i didn't argue, but reality differed for all of us and i was just not a clean freak the way my family was.

“ Elle, there's a knock at the door.” Edith rumored. I didn't want her pranking me just for me to be suitable to get out of bed. Come on, leave me alone.

I pulled the mask over my face to guard myself against her disturbance.

“ I'm serious.” She moaned this time also i heard the loud knock that banged.

“ Who do you suppose it is?” I asked her and sorely, i was wide awake.

“ I don't know.” Edith signed

“ Well, you should go and check it out.”

Edith rolled her eyes unbosoming her face in the pillow.

“ It's your house, you would have a better of who it could be.” Edith got out of bed and also walked of the bedroom. I heard her ask who the person was but i couldn't quite piece together the voice of the person. I also heard her steps walk back to the bedroom also the door to the bedroom opened.

“ Elle, Dylan is there to see you.” I heard Edith say.

******

I was beyond surprised to know that Dylan knew where to find me. I know i had just left the event without indeed saying bye to him after he literally took care of me the former night.

“ Dylan?” my eyes were in unbelief. As soon as he saw me, he got up and wrapped his arms around me.

“ I'm so glad you're okay.” He said kissing my forepart and also looking into my eyes.

“ I'm sorry i just left the art event, a lot happed with Coles meeting.”

He shook his head as if he wasn't interested to hear my explanation.

“ I'm just happy to know you're okay, i was so upset sick.” He held my face in his hands, and i saw how important joy had to him after he'd seen me.

“ How did you know where to find me?” I asked. Dylan removed his hands from my face and stretched his hair. I really wanted an answer.

“ I asked your workmate and one of them mentioned that if you weren't at your apartment, also you were moreover with Mark or Edith.”

Mmm? How sure could he be? I could have been anywhere, i could have been with some arbitrary foreigner riding his gumshoe.

“ I should get going i've some work to do.” He said looking around the house. I was certain he'd spotted the difference between my apartment and Edith’s. Yes, she was way neater than i could ever be.

“ I know Dylan, it's neat in then.” I laughed. He smiled meanly and i knew he didn't say it because he did not want to offend me. He was a really sweet and good-looking man.

Still, call me you ave my number, I'll be then as presto as i can, “ If anything comes up.” He kissed my forepart formerly again and i walked him to the door where he stood and stared at me. Also, he gestured at me and went off to the main road.

“ Dylan huh?” Edith said walking back to the living room from the bedroom. I go she overheard and indeed saw everything.

I smiled as soon as she mentioned his name.

“ So let me get this straight, if i wasn't around and it was just the two of also you guys would have surely fucked?” She asked. Well, that was an awfully, sorrowfully, and direct question i had ever been asked in my life and yes, i guess so.

I jounced my head and laughed

“ Elle? On my settee?!”

I indeed harder this time.

******

Edith allowed it would be good for us to eat out for lunch. She allowed it would be good if we went out, appreciated the little effects about the megacity of New York from how the thoroughfares could be crowded, to how the roads could be super busy. She said occasionally that's all we need as people. When we've been running too presto, and also we feel restless and overwhelmed, perhaps all we need is a memorial of the little, less complicated effects in life.

So that's what we did for that autumn, we set on a charge to appreciate the little effects about New York.

There's a distinct odor in New York. It hit me the first time I took the JFK shelter into Manhattan. That old familiar scent of a quaint apparel store shirt mixed with sulfur. What exactly are you talking about? Given that New York has been around for eleventh million times, the smell in the shelter is most probably a combination of several effects. Perhaps it's urine, perhaps it's the smell of ethnic food booths, or perhaps it's whatever's storming up from those arbitrary pipes in the middle of the road. They say that smell is the most important memory detector, and the endearing scent of this city reminds me of the fondness that numerous people have for New York, that lived-in smell.

As Edith and i kept on walking leaving the Upper West Side apartment structure, we were saluted by a line of the unheroic colored hacks. The sound of the temptress. The scrap collection vehicle. The hack is moving briskly. The youth was regaled. Heels clicking. The languages of French and" French."A businessman yelling into his phone. The Puerto Rican couple rowed over Facebook. Now multiply everything by ten, pretend it's a fish, and smack yourself in the face with it. Sound is energy, and it's the most conspicuous aspect of this megacity's vibe.

As we walked I wanted to reflect further about myself, I wanted to appreciate me for me. So I accepted all of the effects i knew about me.I was glutinous. I was unprintable. I was also happy. And in this moment for that autumn, I was constantly apprehensive of the space (or warrant thereof) around me because i was constantly in contact with other people, whether it's passing on the road or being stuck in a line outside of a bar. You are about to enter the shelter by touching the turnstile. My legs were in contact with the back seat. The sense of the Post, er, Times, in my hand. Greenwich's cobblestone thoroughfares are littered with my shoes. The warmth of a slice of pizza in my hand. All of these rudiments combine to me New York its distinct flavor. The place i had grown to grasp as my home second to Florida.