Chapter 20- Speak Up

I drove in silence all the way to the station.

I was still too caught up in almost dying--again, and the fact that my mom--who I haven't seen in years, was the one who saved me.

After she saved me and I recognized her, we hadn't said a word all the time until the police arrived to take my attempt murderer away.

I was disappointed to see that Tristan didn't arrive with the squad, but instead his partner came and he wasted no time in asking me a tonne of unnecessary questions AGAIN, as if I wasn't the one who got attacked.

I then called Tristan, and I learnt that he was out of office away on a lead when I called in the emergency, so he wasn't informed about the incident. Pissed he was; pissed at his partner, pissed at Mia and sadly pissed at himself for miraculously not knowing.

He beat himself up too much.

I convinced him to stay at the station, since I was on my way there behind the cop cars, and after much bickering, he finally listened. I knew the news was a lot for him. I only just became his girlfriend this morning. Imagine losing me not even fifteen hours later? Nonetheless, I knew just how to calm him down, so he agreed to wait on me there.

In all honesty, I couldn't wait to see him.

My mom looked uncomfortable beside me, and I tried my best not to make it obvious that I was glancing at her as I drove. I knew she wanted to talk, but I didn't even know what to say.

'Where have you been?'

'Where do you live now?'

'Why haven't you called since my last birthday?'

'Why didn't I get an invite to wedding?'

And the one that I really wanted to ask, 'What are you doing here?'

I never hated my mom, I actually loved her a lot. But I was always annoyed with her choices, and the fact that she doesn't give a crap about me or my dad unless she needed something. So I knew, just knew, that her visit wasn't because she wanted to catch up.

The suspision got too much for me, and I was about to ask the questions that have been burning in my head, but she beat me to it.

"Why was that boy trying to kill you?" She asked, causing me to ogle her in disbelief. I knew for any normal person, that would've been the most obvious question. But for a mother who haven't seen her daughter in over a year, I'd think she would've said something else. You know, like, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?

"There's a lot going on right now. I'm just in a bad place with a very crazy woman" I answered flatly. I didn't intend to pour out my life and soul to her.

"This might be a bad time then" She mumbled to herself with a disappointed look on her face.

I couldn't believe it, even though I knew it. This visit-- the reason why she was at my workplace, was all because she wanted to ask me for something. I shook my head with a humourless laugh. She didn't even know that I worked from home nowadays. She just caught me today because she was lucky.

"You know what mom, just say it. Tell me what you want so you can be well on your way again. You don't need to act like you're all concerned"

"Oh but I am baby. I worry about you everyday and if you're in danger then-"

"Then what? You'll protect me? You know like you always have all my life?" I retorted sarcastically. "Oh wait no you haven't. So why care now? What do you need mother? Tell me so that I can send you back from whence you came" She flinched at my words, and I almost felt bad. But it's not like what I said was a lie.

She stayed silent after I spoke, and I kept my eyes on the road as if I didn't notice. She sighed before replying in a soft voice that I almost didn't hear. "That's the problem"

"Come again?" I asked, leaning over a little.

"I-I cant go back. At least not yet. John and I-"

"Oh so that's step-daddy dearest's name?" I knew I was being childish, but the level of irritation I had towards them in particular just evoked all my pettiness.

After she cheated on my dad with him and they got a divorce, I was a crushed 12 year old. I didn't even know the name of the man that she left us for.

It was really hard for me, especially since I just started puberty. My poor dad had to learn so much about periods, training bras and getting larger pants sizes for when I started to develop.

When I had dances to go to, and I needed to go dress shopping, my dad would always take me. That's how he knew so much about dress shopping nowadays, hair and make-up.

But that doesn't mean it still wasn't hard. I needed her and she chose 'John' over me. And though I forgave her a long time ago, moments like these, when she needed me, I just couldn't help but think. What about when I needed you?

I never held it over her head though, or used it against her when she needed something. I just didn't have it in me.

Years later I heard that she was married, and I understood why she wouldn't invite me or my dad, but she never made an attempt to make things right between us. Yes she called from time to time, and she apologized for hurting me at such a young age, but it never went farther.

"Cianna please...Just listen" I heard the edge in her voice that even after so many years, after so many things, it still made me shut my mouth and listen to her. "John and I had a fight--a big fight. I said some things, and I just need some time away from him"

"Okay?" I asked confused, not really sure what it had to do with me.

"I-I stayed in a motel room for two days just out of the city, but I can't afford to stay there much longer. I lost my job a couple months ago and now I have no way of getting money because John cut me off. I um..I-"

"Need to stay with me" I finished for her, internally rolling my eyes. I just knew it.

"But if it's a bad time I guess I can see what else I can scrape from my credit card, or try and make up with John" She mumbled, doing that thing that she always did to guilt trip me.

I didn't mind letting her stay with me for a couple days, despite our strained relationship. She is still my mother after all. But I wasn't even living in my own house.

"Look mom as much as I'd like to help, I'm not exactly living at my house at the moment. This crazy woman that I mentioned? Well she has a target on my house and I have to be in protective custody...well sorta" I almost blushed at the thought. I would stay in Tristan's 'protective custody' forever."But I don't think sending you there is wise either mom. She's crazy"

"Dear heavens what have been happening?" She asked wide eyed. I couldn't help but chuckle at the thought. You wouldn't even know.

"Nothing that you should be concern with" I said as I turned into the police station parking lot. "For now, I'll cover your motel expenses, and if by the time it's safe for me to return home and you still aren't on speaking terms with your... um yea, I'll welcome you into my home"

I sighed deeply as I turned to face her. She looked the same as I always remembered, but she had distinct dark circles under her eyes, and her forehead had wrinkle lines sketched in it.

She looked nothing like the vibrant, young woman who raised me. I felt a tug of concern on my heart as I thought of the possibility of her not being happy in her marriage. I knew my heart was too soft for my own good. She left us after cheating on my dad. She should face the consequences. Right?

"I don't deserve a daughter like you" She brought me out of my thoughts by saying, her eyes filled with tears.

The last thing I needed was for her to start crying on me, so I was actually happy to see that they were hauling a very scared and very much awake man through the entrance of the building, and I hopped from my car and barged to the entrance also.

This man could be the answer to Mia's location, and in turn, her arrest. I just hoped he speaks up.