Chapter 24- I Failed You

Tristan's Pov

It all felt unreal.

Nothing in this moment felt real when I saw her eyes flutter closed, as I held her to my chest. I instantly felt like somebody stabbed me in the heart with an acid-dipped dagger, and I felt as her body went limb in my arms.

"Cianna!" I called loudly, in hopes that she would hear me-- that she would open her eyes, say this is all a prank and we walk home together happily. But from sound of my colleagues shouting and the huge knife lodged in her back, I knew that it wasn't possible.

It felt like the world had stopped revolving, like I was in a vacuum as the sound of everything became silent in a single deafening ring. I felt like I was the main silhouette in a paining, with the only highlight being the woman that was now unresponsive in my arms.

I couldn't see anything else, I couldn't hear anything else. I could only feel her frail body flushed against mine, heavy and motionless as the wound in her back drained the life from her body by the passing second.

I felt my eyes stinging as I lifted her carefully, and my feet instinctively started moving towards the exit in a rush. I could hear shouts from people telling me to stop, but I keep moving. I wasn't going to let her die. She couldn't.

"You'll be fine Cianna. Just hold on baby, please hold on" I pleaded to her in her unconscious state. But it was mostly for me. I needed to believe that she was going to be okay.

I didn't even see it coming. One minute we were talking about Mia, then in another, a well known and well respected officer shoved a knife in her back.

I didn't even know how to feel or what to do. I didn't understand why, but all I could think about was getting her to safety. The sounds started to return as they got louder, and the moment I was out the door, it all came back to me.

No longer was I floating in space, where there was no sound and no one but me and her. I was back in real life, and I saw just how very real the situation was.

She could die. And there's nothing I can do about it.

I felt my knees go weak as my eyes flickered to her still unconscious body in my hands, looking so fragile and so soft with the only hint of life being the slow pulse at base of her neck.

"Detective Deckor!" I heard someone call. It wasn't the first time he'd called, but it was the first time I processed it.

I turned slightly, where I saw people rushing towards me in concern. But they weren't really rushing to me at all, but the woman who I had taken into my heart and into my arms.

I was hindering them from doing their job at saving her life by taking her away from them. So I didn't even protest when the professionals took her from my arms, leaving the cold wind to bite their bareness.

It was a good thing that S.P.D invested in having on-site EMTs and an ambulance, or this could've gone a completely different direction if we had to wait on an ambulance instead.

She was still motionless as they gently placed her on a stretcher facing down, gently turning her head as to not suffocate her. Her beautiful face looked so calm and emotionless, and her plump lips were slightly parted.

I knew I should've gone into that ambulance with her. I knew I should've climbed in with those EMTs and hold her hand all the way like a good boyfriend should do. But instead, I felt glued to my spot as I watched them close the door, and the blaring sound of siren echoed through the lot as they sped off.

The minute they were out of sight, I felt a feeling scourging through me that I recognized strongly from years ago.

Anger.

Pure, raw and uncontainable anger.

The last time I felt anger like this was almost a decade ago when I had an anger-management problem as a teen, and I would get in unnecessary fights. All I saw was red as I stormed back into the station, with one thing on my mind.

My reaction didn't go unnoticed by my partner, as he followed behind me, calling out my name for me to stop. Yet, I couldn't. All I could feel were my nails digging into my palm, and the air brushing my upper lip as I breathed hard.

The ground felt like it was crumbling beneath me as I stomped my way inside the section of the stations with the cells, knowing that's where they would be keeping him for now.

"Tristan wait!" Sean shouted as he grabbed my shoulder. "Calm down mate. You're gonna get yourself in trouble"

I nudged my arm away harshly as I glared at him. "What do you care? You'll be happy if I get suspended or better yet! Be stripped of my badge" I spat as I turned to resume my journey, but he grabbed my hand again.

"Look, I know you care for the girl and this might be personal. But you don't need to go against the rules to-"

"F**k the rules!" I gritted out harshly, giving him one last glare. With that glare it told him not to follow as I went all the way.

I knew the consequences that could arise from my actions. But I was too driven on anger to know that I couldn't calm down unless I saw her in front of me, smiling with those beautiful lips and looking at me with those beautiful brown eyes.

But that wasn't going to happen. Because this man shoved a f**king knife in her and now she's in what can be critical condition, or worse.

Nobody was in there when I entered, and I shoved the door open with a loud thud, gaining his attention from where he laid his head in his hands. I could imagine what I looked like simply by the look on his face as he spotted me. I was in front of him in a second, grabbing him by the collar and shoving him against the wall.

He winced at the impact, and I grabbed his other collar with my other hand, shoving him against the gray wall again as I glared at him through squinted eyes. But what I didn't expect, was to see the man start weeping.

"Please, please don't hurt me" Officer James cried. Cried like a f**king baby. "I'm sorry I did it. I had to!"

"What was so urgent that you had to stab her!?" I shouted at the top of my voice, well aware that anyone could walk in any minute. "You don't even know her!"

"P-please. Just let me go and I'll tell you. Please" Despite my gut telling me to punch him silly, I let the old man go. I did, however, stand right in front of him, granting him no space to move.

"Speak" I commanded sharply as I folded my arms in front of me. He gulped once before speaking.

"A couple weeks ago, a woman came to me"

"Speak straight or you wont have another chance to talk at your own trial" I gritted out. "What woman?" I knew damn well what woman it was, and I also knew that he knew too. So the fact that he wasn't calling her name pissed me off.

"M-mia. She came to me specifically two weeks ago one night when I had a late shift"

"And?"

"She made a deal with me" He admitted shamefully.

My blood boiled even more at that. "You did this for money!"

"No wait" He pleaded, holding up his hand to halt my forthcoming punch. "I did it for my family. Not myself!" I squinted my eyes into slits at this, and I waited for him to continue. "I-I have a wife and three kids. I'm a sick man Detective Deckor. My job barely pays for my medical bills and my family and --I can't--I just didn't want them suffer if anything should happen to me"

My humanity nudged at my mind for a while, showing me to some sense the man's logic.

"I didn't know how she found out about this, but she came to me that day, telling me all about Cianna. I had moved to arrest her then when I realised that she was the woman your department was searching for, but then she started dictating my life." He looked up to meet my eyes with his teary ones. "She used my family against me. My-my wife doesn't work. I have two small kids and a teenager going off to college soon with all my life savings. I still take care of my mother back in the country, and my wife's sister just lost her job. I have it hard man. So when she made a deal I couldn't resist, I knew that if I had to sacrifice my own freedom and dignity for them, then so be it"

"What deal did she make?" My voice was calmer as I asked. I was still furious with the man, but I wasn't on 'I'm going to kill this son-of-a-bitch' mode anymore. Being a man who lost my family, I guess I could understand his logic, IF it wasn't my Cianna who got hurt.

"First, she wired five thousand dollars to my account for good-will and for something the authorities would see when and if I was caught, as the original payment for the crime I commited"

"So there's more?" I asked with an arched eyebrow and he nodded.

"I was only to do the act IF Mia gets caught before she um- she kills the woman. I was instructed to only act if she gets arrested. " He hung his head in shame as my anger boiled again. This all could've still be avoided.

"You were going to kill an innocent woman? That's completely against what you PLEDGED! How many murderers have you taken down huh? Now you want to be one of them?"

"I didn't say I'm proud of what I did. It will haunt me for the rest of my life. But if I didn't stab that girl today or any other day, the remaining twenty-five thousand wouldn't have been sent to my wife's individual account. They will be okay. At least until my eldest is out of school and will be able to take care of them. I needed that money Detective. But I'm sorry. I truly am"

"You will be sorry if Cianna doesn't make it. Because the last string of control I have left, is the hope that she will be okay. You got a lot of time in here James. You better start praying"

And with that, I spun on my heels and made for the exit, trying really hard not to knock him down with my fists.

"I knew she meant something to you Detective" He called out after me. "But my family means the world to me. I had to"

I didn't even give him another glance as I closed the door rails behind me. I felt like I wanted to punch a wall, to scream, to cry. But I just knew I had to see her.

I caught a glimpse of a person moving in the corner of my eyes, and I saw that it was Jason, Mia's brother. I felt incomprehensible anger towards him too, and the look on his face told me that he saw it too.

"Your sister hired a mole in my department and you didn't care to tell us?" I unintentionally screamed at the kid, causing him to flinch back.

"I- I didn't know I swear." He looked sincere, but I was barely buying it.

"Didn't you say she tells you everything?"

"Yes but not this. Why? Did something happen?" He asked, his brows knitting together in confusion.

I simply shook my head. "You better hope nothing happened. "I turned my head to look him in the eyes. "For the sake of your sister."

He gulped, no doubt seeing and hearing the seriousness on my face and in my voice. I hadn't known Cianna long enough to say I love her, but I didn't know how else to describe what I was feeling.

In such a short span of time, she managed to turn my whole world upside-down, melting me with just a smile and giving me the unexplainable urge to protect her with my life.

The very first time she kissed me that Saturday on her porch, I knew it was over for me. She had stole my heart with that very kiss, but I didn't want to scare her off by declaring my feelings for her so early, so I merely suggested solely being intimate, since I knew she desired me as much as I desired her physically. But I couldn't show her my emotional desire so soon, so I had hoped that if she decided to only be intimate, I could slowly steal her heart.

But there was no need for that, because she chose to give me a chance at winning her heart the right way, and I was ao happy.

I lay at night thinking about ways to make her happy everyday too, just like how she makes me happy. I knew there was no one else for me, and I knew it was a bad time to ask her to be my girlfriend. She was still sorta grieving, after all. Yet, I couldn't go another day without looking at her and getting to call her mine, so I had asked her to make it official. I was thrilled when she said yes.

She was finally mine; and now someone was taking her away from me.

So yea I was angry. I was angry at Mia for having such a grudge against this wonderful woman. I was angry at officer James for shoving that knife in her back, despite his reasons. I was angry at Jason for not knowing.

But deep down, I knew I was just angry at myself for not being able to protect her. And now my Cianna was in the hospital, fighting for her life, when it could've all been avoided if I didn't let my guard down for just that split second.

I'm so sorry Cianna. I failed you.