Chapter 15 My Heart

Serenity’s POV

I stirred and heard whispering and shuffling around me. I slowly opened my eyes, meeting the ceiling.

“Thank goodness!” I hear a boy say and felt the bed move. “Are you ok?”

I stared at him. I knew he was a shifter, but there was something different about him, like the same shifter who helped me escape.

I looked around and saw other people in the room. My eyes widened in an instant, and I sat up, pulling the covers up to cover me.

“Hey, hey, calm down…” the boy reaches for me, but I moved away, hitting the side table with my hip. I bit my lip in pain, but I kept my eyes on them.

“You’re scaring him, Ken.” I hear a girl who was standing at the foot of my bed say.

Then an older woman walked up to the bed and sat beside me. She gave me a genuine smile, “Calm down, sweetheart, it’s alright, you’re safe here.”

I looked at all of them again, “Where am I exactly?”

The girl gave a small jump and squeal, stretching out her arms sideward, “Welcome to Funtasia Cirque!”

I raised a brow, “Cirque?”

“Yeah, cirque…” she says, giving me a questioned look, “as in the circus.”

“A circus…” I repeated.

“You have been in one, haven’t you?” she asked.

“Huh?” I looked back at her.

“You’ve been in a circus before…” she pointed out.

“Oh, um, I haven’t, actually.” I admitted, “My father….”

I frowned, remembering the last night I saw them. It has been almost half a year now since that night.

“Your father?” a man pushed me to continue.

I shook my head, “Nothing, forget about it.” I said, then I turned to the boy beside me, “Where’s your brother?”

“My brother?” he asked.

“The one who saved me.” I pointed out.

“Oh, well…” he cleared his throat and glanced at the older man.

“He’s being punished.” The older man said.

“Punished?”

“It’s against our rules to go on some private leisure break without permission.” He pointed out, “And to bring home an additional mouth to feed-“

“I can very well provide for myself.” I snapped.

“Yeah, and yet here you are asleep for two days.” He snapped back.

“Two days?” my mouth dropped open.

“Oh hush now, George.” The older woman beside me says. She then turns back to me with the same warm smile, “It's ok, dear. Cole explained to us everything.”

“Cole?”

“Oh, he’s the boy you are looking for.” She says.

I gave her a questioned look, “Is he your son?”

She laughed and shook his head, “Oh, no dear. As much as I wish him to be-“ the man named George snorted, making the woman roll her eyes, “-he isn’t. But we are the closest to a family that we each have.”

“I see.” I lied. I didn’t get the whole circus act, but hey, they’re putting a roof over my head and me in bed. I’m not one to argue with them. Even if I have been urging to kick George out of the room.

“So, do you have a name?” the perky girl asks.

“Oh, uhm…” I forced a smile, “My name is Serenity, Serenity Grey.”

“What a beautiful name.” the woman says, “I am Dana.”

“Hi, Dana,” I said, shaking her hand.

“And I’m Ken.” the boy beside me says, then he nods toward the girl, “over there is my little sister, Kendra.”

I smiled at both of them.

“And that grouch over there is my husband, George,” Dana says.

“George.” I tipped my head sideward. He snorted again and, obviously, losing patience, stormed out of the room.

Dana sighed and shook her head, “Forgive him. He’s just very protective.”

I smiled, “I understand, I am a stranger and trespassing on your territory, not to mention your pack-“

“Oh please,” Kendra says, “we aren’t a pack, nor do we have a territory.”

“Oh, of course,” I remembered, “Cole is a rogue….”

“You can call us that.” Ken says, “For us, we’re wolves living the life.”

“How is that?” disagreement in my tone, “You are not whole without a pack.”

“We have each other.” Ken pointed out, “That’s enough for me.”

“I hope I can say the same for myself,” I said in almost a whisper.

“Don’t worry, dear, you’ll be back with your mate and brother soon,” Dana assured, squeezing my hand in the process.

I looked up at her, “H-how did you-“

“They were here a few days ago asking about Cole.” She sighed again. “They asked if our minds were linked and if we can reach Cole, probably so they can reach you.”

I groaned, “Please, please tell me they didn’t do anything embarrassing.”

“Embarrassing?” Kendra chuckled, “Far from it, they put George in place and practically saved us from him.”

“What do you mean to save you from him?”

Dana gave Kendra a stern look. Well, we are talking about her husband, aren’t we?

“It’s nothing, love…” she says, “you should get some rest. Cole says he'll bring you back to your family in a week.”

“Deliver me?” I grinned, taking away the tension in the room, “Now I’m a package?”

They chuckled, then I lied down again. Dana tucked me in bed and smiled down at me.

“You are safe here, Serenity. We won’t let anything happen to you.” she says, “Not after helping to get Cole home.”

“Thank you,” I said.

She smiled and left with Ken and Kendra.

Dana turned off the lights and left me in the moonlit room.

Eric was here. I thought he was still looking for me.

A small spark of hope lit up in me as I let myself fall into a dreamless and most peaceful sleep since I last slept watching over Eric.

I made my way out of the trailer that I had been locked in for three days. I pulled Kendra’s coat nearer to me, feeling the chill of the morning.

I looked around and saw a huge tent propped in the middle of the clearing.

People were already busily working and running around, and the sun was barely up.

I walked toward the back of the tent and saw rows of cages where animals were still asleep. I walked up to a certain cage that held a tiger.

It stirs and looked up at me. Its eyes met mine, and I held its gaze. It slowly stood up and walked toward me. I stepped nearer to the cage, meeting it halfway. He leveled his eyes with mine and rested his head between the bars.

And as if it was the most normal thing, I held my hand up and reached for the tiger. My hand running through the small space between its eyes. He purred like a kitten, making me laugh.

“Hey! What the hell?!?!” someone shouted behind me.

I jumped and turned toward the voice and saw burly men walking toward me. The tiger roared and shook its cage.

“What the hell?!” another man shouts again, as one by one, the animals woke up and started shaking their cages.

“See what you did?!” one man snapped at me. He makes his way to me and grabbed me by the arm.

“Hey!” I shouted and tried to move out of his hold. “Let go!”

The Tiger stood up on its hind feet, slamming its front paws on the cage.

“Fuck!” another man shouts.

The man holding my arm shook me roughly, “See what you did?”

The tiger growled again and shook the cage stronger, so did the lion and the bear.

“Hey! Stop that!” I hear someone shout, and the man has pulled away from me, his hand leaving a mark on my arm, and I fell back to another set of arms again.

I watched as a boy pushes the man away from us.

“Don’t you dare touch her again!” he shouted.

“That’s enough, Cole!”

I turned around and saw that a girl was the one who stopped my fall.

Cole, the boy who supposedly helped me escape and saved me, gave the human one last growl and turned toward us.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he snapped at me.

I frowned and stepped away from him.

“You’re scaring him, Cole.” The girl says.

“I don’t care!”

I flinched, and the tiger turned to growl at Cole, who growled back at it.

“Stop that.” I waved a hand toward Cole.

“What?”

“I said stop it.” I moved toward the cage and raised a hand, “Shh, it's ok, calm down.”

The tiger kept its eye on Cole until I was at arms reach. “Shh…”

“Serenity…”I hear Ken call.

The tiger turned to me, and it instantly calmed down. I smiled and reached for its head as it rested it again on the bars.

I ran my hand down its head and snout. I smiled, hearing it give a satisfying purr again.

“Amazing…” I turned around and saw a huge man staring at me. “You had just calmed them all down.”

I frowned.

I never knew the extent of the powers of being the moon’s daughter, but I had always had a thing for animals, and they always loved me back.

“Don’t get ideas, Jim,” I hear George say, “she’ll be out of here by the end of the week.”

“What?” the man named Jim snaps, “Not with a talent like that she wouldn’t be.”

I frowned but kept hold of the tiger.

“We can make money off her.” he says, “Just think, a girl who can tame wild animals.”

“They are not wild animals.” I snapped, “They are smarter than some of you here.”

Of course, they aren’t wild for me. Saying that means that we shifters are half-wild as well.

“Whatever,” Jim says, “if you are staying here, you will have to work for me!”

This time, the tiger’s growl was mixed with the shifters that were now around me.

“Dare to touch her. You’ll have us to deal with Jim.” Dana says.

“And I think it is safe to say that she’ll be protected by your pets as well,” Kendra added.

The lion on the next cage roared in agreement.

“C’mon, Serenity,” Kendra says, “you need to rest if you want to get home soon.”

“And I suggest that you leave sooner.” The girl who was holding me added.

I nodded their way and gave the tiger another pat as it nudged its nose to my hand as if telling me to go.

“You are still in my circus-“

“And you are in my land,” I said. “Believe me when I say that you will not have an easy travel in areas where my people live. I will find you and make you pay if you as much as lay a hand on me.”

With that, I turned and walked toward Kendra along with the girl beside me.

We went back to the trailer where I was staying earlier, along with the other shifters.

I turned to them and smiled, “So that’s a circus?”

Dana chuckled, “That’s what’s behind this supposed fun wonderland is.”

I scrunched my nose, “Where’s the fun in caging those poor things.”

“As I’m sure you feel their pain.” The girl says, “I’m Tasha.”

I smiled, “Serenity.”

She flashes me a knowing smile, “I know.” She gestured for me to sit at the bed. I did as told for a change. “Your mate was here.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“You’d be happy to know that he hasn’t given up hope.”

That small hope from last night now raged into a flame that had almost reached the heavens.

“But…” she paused, “you would still have to wait for a while.”

“Wait?”

She nods, “I would admit, if you leave now, you will be traveling a path which is safer and easier.”

“Then shouldn’t she leave now?” Ken asked.

“That’s what I said,” Cole argued.

“She needs to get through these obstacles now, or else…” she frowned, “it would be your future that is at risk.”

I frowned but remained quiet, and she knelt in front of me and took my hands both into hers, “If you leave now, more lives will be at risk in the future, including your own and those you love...” she glanced at Cole, “your kind.”

I pushed the lump that was building on my throat, scared to put into words what I needed to hear and know.

“What are these obstacles?” I finally asked.

She forced a smile and squeezed my hand, “You already know what it is, princess.” She says, “History tells you what you need to know, and this is as inevitable as your next breath.”

“I don’t think I understand.” I shook my head, confused.

“It is the war of your kind.” She says, “A war that has been foreseen many times acted on even, but nothing will be like this one.”

I ponder on what she tells me, history… war… could she mean the hunters?

“I should probably leave now.” I said, “If you are talking about the hunters, then I am endangering all of you.”

She smiled and sat beside me now, “They say that every daughter of the moon is selfless, I never believed it until I heard your story and the one before you.” she chuckled, “Don’t get me wrong, but I have seen my fair share of spoiled girls with your status here at the circus, and I never expected that someone could defy that.”

“I’m nothing special,” I frowned, “all I bring is harm and death with me. I have no right to strut around as if I am anyone better.”

“You are wise, Serenity, like what a princess and deity should be.” Tasha continues, “Your heart is in place, and so is your head, keep them intact, and you will do no wrong.”

“By simply being who I am is already wrong,” I tell her making her laugh.

“You do not know what your effect to others is, Serenity, even just by being you…” she tipped her head sideward, “Example of that is the scene with the animals outside.”

I remain quiet, and so did the others.

“Leave at the end of the week.” She says again, “To reach your home by wolf will take you three days, that is the night of the full moon, no matter what happens, you must arrive on that night, or your future will shift again if that happens,” she frowns, “I don’t know if you will ever be whole again.”

I stared at her deep grey eyes as if leading to a never-ending void.

“So, is that why we feel protective of you?” Kendra asked, “Because you are the said deity of our kind?”

“I guess so,” I said.

I frowned, realizing that Josephine is still not with me. And that the people I am with now don’t have a clue how much a weak link I am right now to them.

I’d have to tell them soon, though, I thought, they will be expecting that I’ll be traveling on wolf form.

“You guess?” Cole asks. “Is your wolf so weak that you can’t even be sure of what you are?”

“Don’t listen to the idiot,” Tasha says, “he’ll meet his match soon.”

“I thought that was you?” Cole scowled.

“So did I.” Tasha rolled her eyes, “Ended out that I’m just a perfect practice for you.”

She winked at me, making me smile.

“By the way,” she let go of my hand and reached for her pocket, “I found this when I was cleaning you up…” she raised her hand, and my necklace dangled from her hand. I stared at the pendant and remembered Liam. “I know this is more than just jewelry. It has quite a history and a future….” I looked back at her as I closed my fist around the pendant, “take care of it, princess.”

Later that night, I stood by the window, looking up at the almost full moon.

“Mother moon, is this another chapter? Cause it’s really getting tiring.” I whined, “I think the first thing I will be doing when I get back is written a manual for the next daughter of the moon of how to be one.”

I stifled a laugh at my own joke.

“I know I shouldn’t complain seeing that I’m just a few days away from home… from Eric…” his name alone brought a smile on my face. “But could we hasten the days now? I really want to see them.”

Then I felt like I was slowly being cloaked with warmth making me smile, I don’t know if that was an answer from mother moon, but I knew I needed to be patient. The right time will come for everything to fall in place as she had planned.

Just like how she had planned for Eric and me to be mates.

I remembered Tasha’s words reminding me to leave at the end of the week.

Knowing me, I would have planned an escape now, going against what is right and sane. Wanting to get what I wanted.

Brat.

But that’s how I had always been, going against something that stops me, like running away from the guards, wanting to have friends other than the ones that Siam approved of… seeing Eric.

Somehow, everything about me and my life end up with Eric. It’s how it is supposed to be, and that is something I would never plan to fight against even if I fought off his pleading words and eyes that night.

I spent weeks forgetting the look he had on his face that night.

Fear. Disappointment. Anger.

It was all because of me.

Even before I decided to run away to save them, he fears for my safety, disappointed that he seemed too weak even to keep me safe, and angry that he can’t be stronger.

What he didn’t know was he was all that. I was just defying him. Though against my will, I needed to. I would rather have him angry and worried about me than not have him at all.

Death was a game I was not willing to play with Eric if I had a say.

I admit it was probably a spur-of-the-moment decision to sacrifice myself for them, but this time I will make sure to do things differently.

I will think better; remember Liam’s words that I am worthless if I die and have a home to go to and protect.

And whatever Rham did, it was nothing but an act. My body was forced to do something, my brain tries to forget, and what my heart can never accept.

So it was up to me if I will dwell into it.

I looked down on my belly and ran my hand over it, and if ever I do carry his baby… nothing will change. They had nothing to do with what happened. For all I know, it was me who put myself in that situation, and I was just too weak to even protect myself from him.

From a person who I thought I could trust.

But will Eric see the same?

I know Tasha says he hasn’t given up hope, but will it still be the same if I was pregnant?

What if he doesn’t want me if I was? I mean, who would want to raise a child who would probably be the epitome of my hell.

But somehow, my heart disagrees with these thoughts.

I may not know a lot about Eric, but I am sure that he will not harm this child, nor would he harm me. But I can’t expect him to love them as his own. That will be asking for too much.

All I can give him is my whole future. After all, he already has my heart.

I sighed and looked around outside the window, and for a second, I saw a man standing at the edge of the clearing, staring… watching.

I squinted to make sure I wasn’t just dreaming.

But the next second, he was gone.