Chapter 30 Let Go

Cole's POV

“Seriously Cole,” Serenity snapped, “seriously?!”

“What?” I snapped back watching my supposed mate usher one of the Serenity’s boys out of the room.

I would be lying if I didn’t feel anything seeing her with him, and my stinging cheek was no match to the pain I’m inflicting on her.

“You know exactly what!” Serenity snapped again.

“Serenity, stop it.” Eric intervenes.

“No!” Serenity was livid, that was obvious. “What the h*ll?”

“What?” I growled.

Eric moved to her side but she moved out of his reach and raised her face up an inch away from mine.

“Don’t you dare Cole.” she sneered, “You had no right to do that to Jean!”

“I wouldn’t have if your mate here didn’t bring her to the conversation or if you didn’t bring her here.” It was true but at there was also no way to win this fight with Serenity.

I can feel my wolf wanting to walk past Serenity and go after her, apologize and claim her.

Well, at least, if she still wants to take me.

But I refuse to oblige my wolf the satisfaction. My heart is calling for Tasha, this attraction with Jean is just that- an attraction, nothing more.

“I needed to talk to the boys, and the last time I check I can now go wherever I want to go with whoever I want.” Her red face was slowly turning pale.

“Serenity, calm down.” Eric was finally able to pull her away. “This isn’t healthy for the baby.”

She nodded and I raised a brow.

“Baby?” I asked.

“Yes, a baby.” She glared at me again. “You knew what happened to me, you told Tasha, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but-“

“And don’t you think that Jean might have the same case as I do?”

I finally understood why Serenity was so upset. I never thought Jean was too.

But I was too prideful to admit it. For two reasons. one I needed to make myself believe that I didn’t care. Second, if I think about it, it will take all my control to stop my wolf from finding whoever raped her and kill them.

"I doubt that." I mumbled

“Well she was.” Eric says, “So I'd appreciate it if you stayed away from her if that’s all that you have to tell her.”

Great, Mr. Perfect just had to rub salt on my wounds.

“How come he doesn’t know?” Siam asks, breaking the tension in the room.

“I wasn’t sure when we escaped.” Serenity sighed. “Besides it just been days-“

“We need to have him checked by Mama Ellena again once she comes home,” Eric says, “If he’s growing faster than he should, then maybe he is half shifter.”

Serenity shrugged and nodded.

“You ok princess?” Jake asks.

“Yeah.” Serenity yawns, “Just a bit tired.”

“Well, you aren’t supposed to be out of bed, remember?” Eric says.

“I know, but…”

“But?” Siam asks.

“Liam.” She pointed out.

I’ve been hearing the name several times, but I’ve never met the guy. And Serenity mentioned something about healing him with Jean’s help. I frowned, if he’s one of her boys, I don’t know if I should be allowed in his room.

“I was going to ask what you meant by what you told Jean.” Jake says. “So we’re waking up sleeping beauty huh?”

“If there’s anyone who can help us right now to save Tasha it would be Liam.” Serenity says, “You boys would work better with one clear mind.”

“Hey, what does that mean?” Siam asks, acting hurt.

I rolled my eyes, some king. I thought, my sister’s married to a wuss.

“It means Liam is your voice of reason and you need him to keep you boys in track and alive.” Serenity faced Eric, “I just got home, I’d be damn if one of you boys were hurt.”

“Well, when do you want this to be done?” Eric asked.

“Tonight is the full moon.” she pointed out. “As soon as the moon hits its highest point.”

Siam checks his watch, “We should get some rest then. We’ll meet in Liam’s room at around ten?”

“I want everyone there.” Serenity demanded- yes, demanded.

“I don’t think you need to tell us twice,” Jake says, “I’m pretty sure everyone has been waiting for this day.”

Serenity gave a satisfied smile and a nod, I rolled my eyes. Brat. I thought.

She turned to me, frowning again, I mentally hit myself remembering that she was link to me.

Tasha would whipped your ass for me once she gets home. She said.

“C’mon,” Eric says before I can answer back, “Let’s get you to bed.”

Good thing too, cause I don’t think my come back was that good.

She nods and kept her eyes at me, “If all goes well, we’d start the search in two or three days. Right now, Jean’s the one who is keeping you out of bed, with her gone I don’t know if I can even save you.”

With that, she left with Eric, looking disappointed.

I shrugged, great, now I feel bad. No, scratch that, I feel worse.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Jake says behind me.

I turned around and saw Siam and Jake facing me.

“What?”

Siam shrugged, “I know you are my wife’s brother, but I would appreciate it if you’d show a little respect in our home and to our family.”

“She isn’t even part of your family.” I mumbled.

“She helped all of us cope from Serenity’s absence,” Siam pointed out, “she may not be the trophy wife that you dream of having, but she is one of the most amazing femme wolf that I have met.”

I chuckled, “I wonder if my sister knows about this little crush of yours, Siam.”

“That’s king Siam to you.” Jake snapped.

“Jake-“ Siam held him down.

“No.” Jake sneered at me, “Not until he proves that we can trust him, I will not let him address you so likely. Even if he is Anna’s brother.” He then turned to leave, but not before he stopped by the door and turned to me again, “You know what? Maybe Jean isn’t as pure or as innocent, but let me tell you this, you’d be surprised at how wise and loving she can be.” He gave a disgusted look and shook his head, “I can’t believe she waited for the likes of you.”

I stared at the open air where Jake was standing moments ago.

She was waiting for me? I thought to myself. Why?

“If you saw her when she arrived, I wouldn’t wonder why you respond like this.” Siam says, breaking the silence in the room. He walks toward the table that held crap and what not, “None of us would want to be associated to her. Every male in the pack didn’t want to go near her in fear that they’ll be mated to her.”

“So this isn’t new at all.”

“Well, yeah…” he glanced my way, “until she started to open up.”

I faced him, I would admit that I was truly curious why these men were so protective of her.

“If you met her the same time we did?” he chuckled, “Trust me, she’d be out of here and away from you even before you find out she’s your mate.” He goes back to going through the papers on the table, not really looking for anything in particular with the looks of it. “We don’t really know when or why she started to open up, but she did. She came in the time that everyone was grieving of Serenity’s abduction. And among all of us, she couldn’t careless of what happens next.”

“What’s her story?” I asked.

He raised a brow, “Well, she was taken by a group of hunters, about the same time that they took Serenity, only she escaped. She saw Serenity being taken somewhere and she went to the nearest Alpha and that alpha sent her to us. She arrived here all bruised and whatnot. She said no one wanted to heal her on the previous towns, but mama Ellena would not have that here. She was healed and was supposed to leave afterwards, but somehow the girls convinced her to stay. Soon, Eric asked her to join the pack. By then she was like a missing link in our group, the one that doesn’t take crap, like Serenity. And we needed that. We needed someone to keep us from acting up and getting ahead of ourselves. And I guess it’s understandable why she is closest to Aaron, he’s the only one who isn’t mated. In return he grew pretty protective of her,” he chuckled, “heck, I think he was protective of her from the very beginning when he would snatch away every cigarette that Jean would pull out, eventually she just stopped smoking seeing Aaron was on 24/7 guard watch on her.”

I frowned, listening to how Siam spoke about her, it was like he was handling a porcelain doll. Every word was thought of.

Then he stopped and faced me, “The thing with Jean is, she’s weak. We know that, but she hides it. She tries and acts to be tough, with everything that had happened to her…” he shrugged and shook his head. “She doesn’t deserve this, Cole. Not from anyone and especially not from you.”

With that said he walked pass me and out of the room.

I sighed and shook my head, “You are a class A jerk Cole.”

Well, it isn’t like it’s my intention to turn her down.

I’m in love with Tasha, and to mate Jean would just make everything a lie.

I know they say that a mate’s pull is strong, and it is, that was why I didn’t want to be near Jean. But all my life I had fought for it, demanding for what I want and making plans of my own, and I swore that not even the fate or the goddess would have control on any part of my life.

Well, I guess they don’t agree on the plan.

It was my wolf who wanted to be with her, not me.

Right?

I shrugged.

In all honesty, Jean is beautiful. If I wasn’t crazy about Tasha and my wounds that night I would have noticed that. She was like an angel when she was healing me, and I had to fight the urge to look at her beautiful green eyes.

And though her scent was tainted, it wasn’t all that bad. Her own scent was much more stronger than those of the humans that corrupted her. When her scent first hit me, it was like the first day of spring, the same day that the birds had come back and the ice was starting to melt. The trees and flowers were growing back.

That was what it made me feel.

It made me relax and calm down. It was as if everything was in perfect place.

Then I realized who she was. The small current that goes through my arms whenever her fingertips would graze my skin while she healed me, the comfort and ease that she gave me. She is my mate.

And if that didn’t prove it, my wolf’s howling would.

Realizing this I start to move away from her, not wanting to be tied down to her. Not with Tasha missing and in danger.

I know I love Tasha, and what I have with Jean was just attraction, just attraction. I said to myself again.

Then why am I so damn confused?

I still want to save Tasha, no, I need to save her. I need to know that she’s within arm’s reach.

But then again, I want Jean with me too.

And lord knows I can’t have that. Not only would I hurt them, but what kind of man would that make me?

I needed to choose. I know who I’m choosing.

The need to be in control of my life was great, and that will never change.

My little ranting with myself was broken when I heard shouting and shuffling at the main entrance of the house.

I went out and stood at the top of the staircase and saw Siam, Anna, Jake, Cam, Aaron and Jean staring at the new comer.

People who are just too familiar to me.

“What’s going on here?” I asked walking up to them and standing between the royalties and my family.

“I had them picked up.” Siam says.

“I can see that.” I snapped, “Why? They aren’t part of this.”

“Not all of them.” Jake says, he nods toward one of the guards who was practically man handling George who was dropped in front of Siam on his knees.

“Please, I didn’t know…” George pleaded, “they said she was a run away-“

“Don’t lie, you perfectly know who she is.” Aaron snapped at him.

“They- they lied!” George stuttered, obviously lying. “They used their powers on me and-“

Siam shrugged and shook his head, “You are found guilty of treason, for taking part of the abduction and attempted killing of the princess and an alpha.” He glanced my way and then continued, “But, my sister, requested to have a fair trial for you. Be thankful that she is fond of your family, cause if it was up to me, I would behead you right here and right now.”

With that said he turned to leave followed by Anna.

The guards then picked up George.

“Take him to the infirmary.” I hear Jean say, “he wouldn’t last the night with all the beating he got from you guys.”

The guard chuckled, “He deserved it Lady Jean,” he says, “You shouldn’t waste time with the likes of him.”

“That’s what the other say about me before, I wouldn’t make the same mistake they did.” She shrugged, “C’mon guys, you know Serenity wouldn’t like this.”

The guards exchanged looks and sighed, “Fine, but we’re staying near, we don’t want something to happen to the most beautiful unmated femme wolf in the pack.” He glanced at Aaron who rolled his eyes.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Aaron snapped at him.

Jean chuckled then glanced my way, her smile disappeared in an instant.

“Uhm, c’mon boys.” She says leading the way to the infirmary.

“Cole.” I turned around and saw Kendra run up to me.

I wrapped an arm around her, giving her a brotherly hug.

“Are you ok?” I asked. She just nodded and I turned to Ken who nodded.

I turned to Dana who was standing there staring at us. “Dana…”

She shook her head, “I’m sorry Cole, I should have known… I should have seen what he was up to-“

I shook my head as well, “No, no Dana…” I reached for her and hugged her, “You didn’t do anything, this was all George’s fault. He never wanted me to there from the beginning and the same goes for Serenity.”

“I didn’t expect him to do that.”

“Everything will be fine Dana, I promise.” I whispered to the only woman that came near to a mother to me.

“You are welcome to stay with us until you want.” Cam says, “I’m sure Serenity would like that.”

“No, we can’t…” Dana moved away from us, “After what my husband did-“

“Cole is right.” Jake says, “What he did isn’t your fault. Serenity would want you here, make a home of her home.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.” Cam says, “The maids are actually fixing up your rooms as we speak, we can show you so you can rest. I’m pretty sure that you are all tired.”

They turned to me and I gave them a nod, “We’ll talk after dinner.”

Dana nodded and walked toward Cam and Jake, who introduced themselves as I leave for the infirmary.

I stood by the door listening to Jean’s quiet humming as she work on George who was asleep on the table.

“What’s your business here?” I hear a guard ask.

“I just want to check in-“

“No one is allowed here but Lady Jean.” The guard says.

“I’m here to help-“

“Did she ask for help?”

“No.”

“Did she ask you to be here?”

“No.”

“Does she even want you here?” I turned around and saw Aaron standing there arms crossed over his chest.

“Aaron, I just want to check-“

“On your so called step father?”

“He isn’t’ my father.” I snapped.

“Then you have no business here, leave.”

“No.”’

He stepped up and glared at me, “Listen to me you pathetic excuse for a living being, the only reason that I didn’t kill you earlier cause Jean says not to, but I swear if you hurt her or as much as talk crap about her again, I will make a dog food out of you.”

I glared back at him, irritated of how protective he was acting toward Jean. Jean is my mate, mine.

“You will learn your place and that’s far away from her.” I sneered.

“You have no right to say that, rogue.” He sneered back, “You lost all right the moment she shed tears for you.”

“Why you-“

“Seriously, what’s wrong with you two?”

We turned and saw Jean glaring at us, arms up, her hands covered with rubber gloves.

“Aaron, Siam needs help with security.” Jean says, “Cole, you can go inside.”

“What?” Aaron asked, surprised.

“Aaron, please?” Jean begged, “I can handle this.”

Aaron gave her a look, one that was saying how he didn’t like this. But then he gave me a last glare and left.

“I don’t want anymore bickering out here,” Jean says to the guard.

“Yes Lady Jean.” They bowed and stood guard.

She stepped inside and I followed her.

“We have our eyes on you rogue.” One guards says as I walked pass them.

Inside Jean was back to working on George’s wounds. She was currently stitching a long gash on his leg.

“You ok with blood and scars?” she asked.

“I don’t know.” I said, “I guess.”

“Good, hold this.” She handed me a bottle of medicine and other things that I don’t even know what’s called and made me stand beside her.

I glanced down at what she was working on and wished I didn’t. I looked away and pushed down the lump on my throat.

I heard her chuckle as she continues to work, “You said you wanted to help, didn’t you?”

“Well, I didn’t expect that.” I snapped.

She sighed and took the things on my hands and set it back down on the tray on the table across the bed. She tries to push the tray to the middle of the table but it was already out if her reach so I push it back for her, accidentally brushing my hand on hers.

She pulled back and looked away, then continued to work on George.

“What do you want Cole?” she asked, all business like.

“Oh, uhm…” I walked away from her, toward a stool positioned behind her. “How is he?

“Well, he’ll be fine really, I just need to stitch close some of his wounds like this one, clean the ones he seemed to have scratched on a glass, after that it’ll be up to his wolf.”

“Hm, that’s good.” I said.

“You think Serenity will be fair on his trial?” she asked me.

“Huh?” I asked, surprised.

“Well, you know her more than I do.” She pointed out, “Though I’m pretty sure she will, I just want to know.”

“Oh,” I nodded, understanding and watching her from behind her as she continues working on George, “Yeah, I think she’ll be fair. I mean, George didn’t really like her and all, but Serenity would act as a deity on the trial I don’t think she’ll get personal.”

“You do know that she had asked a couple of men killed, right?” she said.

“What?”

“Yeah, Aaron told me that she used her powers over a couple of attackers on her birthday and had them killed.”

“Oh…” I said, surprised.

“But you’re right, she’d be fair on this one.” she said, “From what I know about Serenity, she’ll probably get him off the hook and let him leave but banned or banished.”

I nodded and stared at the floor.

“Don’t worry,” she said, I looked up and saw her looking at me, “I’m pretty sure she won’t banish your family.” I gave her a questioned look, “The ones who arrived with him, that’s your family, isn’t it? Along with Tasha?”

I frowned hearing how calm she spoke about me and Tasha.

“I’m pretty sure she’ll be back with you soon.” She said, “Siam and the others keep their word. Maybe you can even stay here or with the Siam and Anna seeing that you are her brother.” She says and grinned, “I’m glad she finally found you, somehow she’s more complete now.”

“Jean-“

She chuckled and brushed me off, “You should have seen her when she was telling us how happy she is that she found you. I don’t think I’ve seen her this happy, even after Ximm was born.”

“Jean-“

“By the way, have you seen him?” she brushed me off again, “He’s the cutest thing in the world. Looks a lot like Siam, but he has Anna’s eyes and smile.”

“Jean!” I snapped, she stopped and held her arms back and away from George.

I walked up to her and made her face me. But she bowed her head, refusing to look at me.

“Jean look at me.” I said. She shook her head. “Jean, damn it!”

She flinched away from me, putting a protective arm around her, as if waiting for me to hit her. That’s when I noticed how wet her face was, how red her eyes were.

“Jean…” I reached for her but she moved away again.

“Cole, please.” She begged, “I get it, you don’t want to be with me, but please don’t make this harder.”

“I’m not making it harder.” I said, “I want you to understand-“

“I know, I understand, you love Tasha.” She said, “I get it.”

“How did you-“

“It doesn’t take a scientist to notice Cole.” She said, turning around and walking toward the other side of the bed.

“And you aren’t giving me crap about this?” I asked.

“Would you want me to?” she asked as she looked at me straight in the eyes.

Of course I wanted to, I think. Then again, it would be easier for me to leave her for Tasha if I didn’t have this conversation with her.

“I thought so.” she said, then she glanced at the door, “If that’s all you need, you can go.”

I glared at her and kept my ground.

As much as I didn’t want to care about her, I know I do. That’s why I needed to make her understand that it isn’t my intention to hurt her. I didn’t want to leave her broken and feeling bad about herself. That this was all my fault and I decided to leave.

I know it wouldn’t make a difference for her. She’ll always be hollow and incomplete, and so will I. But I just can’t give into what is expected of me by the society that I am against to.

“Jean, just listen to me, before you kick me out.” she gave me a look then she shrugged, “You have a minute.”

I nodded, “Look, I know I’ve hurt you and made you feel bad and all,” she gave an unlady like snort, the sarcastic smile on her face made my heart ache knowing that she thinks I was taking this lightly. “I’m sorry about that, I know there is no amount of apology or begging that could make the pain go away, but I want you to know that I am sorry. I never thought that it’ll be this hard, really. I never planned on meeting or finding a mate, to tell you the truth.”

I looked down on the floor, ashamed of what I was telling her, and scared to see the pain that I will again inflict on her.

“But you see, I’ve seen so many mates fail their mate. My dad failed my mom when she got killed by the hunters, now there’s George and Dana… Then for a while I Eric and Serenity.” I paused as I rethink of my argument, “Its not that I don’t want to be with you, I don’t think it’s possible not to acknowledge you as my mate, but I just can’t be with you like that. I would be lying to you and to myself if I did.”

I looked up at her this time, “You’re right, I do love Tasha and would probably give up my life just to save her. Do you think you can accept that? A man who is only with you because it was fate that told us to be together? It just isn’t fair to you Jean.” I stepped up to the table, right across her. “I already caused you so much pain in the short time that I’ve been here, and I don’t want that for you. You are my mate and I do care for you, I don’t want you to be hurt, most of all by me.”

She shook her head as she wiped away the tears that hadn’t stopped pouring since I started my little monologue.

“You didn’t have to go and explain.” She said, “I understand.”

“No you don’t.” I groaned, it was like I was back in square one.

“No, I really do.” She said, more calm now as she faced me. “My mom… uhm… yeah, my mom had caused my dad the same pain his whole life after finding out what we were.” She forced a laugh and tried to look away, “She’s the reason you hate my scent, you know?”

I frowned hearing this. She was the reason she was mixed with other men’s scent? Did she use her to get money?

“But the thing is,” she continued, “my dad never left her even after everything she did to me. She had me raped so that no other human would go through what she did after finding out about father being a shifter. She reminded me on how much she hated our kind, my dad and me. She never let my dad touch her or even hug her. But he stayed with her, until now. The reason I can’t go back home to him is because of her.” she wipes away another set of tears poured out of her. “He gave me up, he keeps his place beside a woman who once loved him and he still loves now despite everything she had done. And it wasn’t just because of fate or the bond. It was because he loved her, he truly loved her.”

If I was guilty earlier, I was ashamed now.

“And you are right, it wouldn’t be fair to me if I force you to choose me over her.” she said. “Cause like what Aaron said, I do deserve better.”

I looked away hearing her words, she deserved better? Meaning I wasn’t enough?

Then again, I wasn’t man enough to let her know all these things before, was I?

“So thank you.” I looked up at her, surprised. “At least, somehow, I know you do care.”

I shook my head, “Why Jean?”

“Why what?”

“Why aren’t you angry?” I asked.

She stifled a laugh, “You’re my mate Cole, no matter what you do, I can never be angry with you.” she said, “I am upset and disappointed, but seeing how the fates and the mother goddess had chosen me to be with someone that is so scared to hurt me that he’d rather not be with me, and even telling me these things face to face…” she sighed and gave me a pained smile, “I’d have to admire you for that.”’

I shook my head, frustrated, and walked toward her, grabbing her by the wrist and making her hit me on the face.

“Hit me, slap me!” I said, “Punch me!”

But all she did was pulled her hand and stepped away from me.

“No Cole,” she said, “this is what you want. You are in enough pain as it is, I can’t add more to that.”

I stared at her, amazed at how she was calm now. I was supposed to be the calm one, I was supposed to be happy that she understood, that she accepted that I can’t be with her cause I love Tasha.

Not this man who is forcing her to hurt me so I will have no reason to regret of leaving her.

She looked me straight in the eyes and reached for my face, the moment our skin touched, I felt calm.

“If you are happy with her, who am I to refuse you that?” she asked.

And at that very moment, I knew why she was chosen to be my mate.

A girl who had lived through life finding happiness, only to find out that she had to let go of the person that could give her that.

She do deserve better, I said to myself.

Later that night after dinner we were all to meet at the bedroom of that boy Liam.

We were standing around his bed and Serenity stood at the foot of his bed staring at him.

“Are you sure this is safe Serenity?” Anna asked. “He’ll kick your butt if you hurt your baby.”

Serenity chuckled, “I think it’ll be ok.”

“Serenity, sweetheart, you don’t have to do this.” Uncle Luke said.

“No.” Serenity says as she walk beside the bed and sat beside the boy, “This was my entire fault.”

She pushed back his hair away from his face and left her hand to cradle his face.

“Hey, its time to wake up ok?” she whispered, “So you can stop popping in and out of my dreams.”

We were all quiet and watching her as she stare at the boy.

I looked around, Eric stayed near her. Anna was beside the king, both looking worried.

Jake and Cam stood behind them, expectant. Aaron stood beside Anna, near Jean who was watching Serenity’s every move.

While Liam’s father, Uncle Luke, sat across Serenity.

Then Serenity sighed and planted a kiss on his forehead and pulled out her necklace.

She then pulled his hand toward her, putting the pendant on his palm, then she put her hand over it and wrapped his hand with both her hands, putting it over his chest as she closed her eyes and start to whisper.

“Step out of the darkness, leave death’s silence.

Lit by the moon, a path is shown.

A path to home, I bid you to come.”

Slowly, a light shined from between their hands. Then a strong energy radiated from Serenity.

Then, as if a camera went off, a quick flash of light lit the room and the next thing we knew- while we were all still adjusting our eyes, there was a groan.

“Serenity?”

“Hey sleepyhead.” I heard Serenity say.

I looked back and saw the boy looking around. “About time you got home.” he says, his voice raspy. Then he turned to his side, “Hey dad, you look like crap.”

The man laughed and hugged his son.

The room was now feeling relief and light.

Then Liam sat up and turned to Serenity. “Where is she?”

“Who?” Serenity asked.

“Tasha.”