Chapter 41 Maybe

Jean's POV

“We need to talk.” I said.

Eric sighed and walked toward his seat on the other side of the table.

“I was wondering when you were gonna tell me what’s going on.” He said.

“Yeah, well, I just needed time to think and be sure before I tell you.” I said as I leaned and handed him a folder that is just all too familiar to me this past few weeks.

He raised a brow and flipped the folder open. And as expected he was surprised, for a few seconds, then he starts to read over the letter, the leaflets and what not inside the folder.

I stared at his never changing reaction of a poker face as he read through the papers in front of him while I run through the memories of how I got hold of that folder.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*flashback~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was the same day that we came back from the whole days hopping spree. I had more than two dozens of shopping bags in my hand and was struggling to get into my room when the door opened. I peeked inside and saw Mama Ellena standing at the other side of the door.

“Oh, mama ellena, thank goodness you are here.” I said with a laugh, “I was debating of how I will be opening that door.”

She smiled and sat at the edge of my bed while I dumped the bags inside the walk in closet of my room.

Yeah, Eric and Cam pretty much gave me the accommodation fit for a princess. And seeing that Anna and Cam had usually held girl time in my room to hide from the boys, that littlee walk in closet had become a sacred place of ours that we had to have a bed and a couch put inside and Cam even had it widened and redecorated.

I walked back into my room, slipping out of my jacket. “So what can I help you with mama Ellena?”

“Come here child.” she says and tapped the sit next to her.

I gave her a weird look before I sat beside her. “Is there something wrong Mama Ellena?”

She gave me a smile, “How are you Jean?”

“Oh,” weirder and weirder, I thought, “I’m good. Thank you for asking. Mama Ellena is there something going on?”

She sighed and shook her head, “I know about him.”

“Him?” I asked. then it set on me. “Oh…”

She gave me another look, “How are you holding up?”

“I’m not really sure, to tell you the truth.”I said, giving in. “I mean, I told Eric that I don’t mind, I told the others I’m ok-“

“Are you?”

I frowned and looked down my lap, “No.”

I have been Cole and Tasha for days and well, let’s just say it isn’t getting easier.

I’ll see them beside each other talking, arguing, laughing, teasing… it was hard to bear. But seeing that Cole was happy with her, it was worth it.

“Do you think you can wait a little longer?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, sooner or later.” I said with a wave of a hand. But she dismissed the lie and gave me that knowing look of hers. “What do you want me to do Mama Ellena? Beg for him to accept me? Plead to higher court that he be ordered to choose me over her? it hurts mama Ellena, it does, but I don’t think I’m worth anything for him to lose something that he obviously wants.”

“Jean, a bond does not work like that.” she said. “There’s no pleading or begging, it happens. Its there, the attraction and the pull, it’s there and he’s fighting it.” she reached for my hand, “The sad part of it is you are letting him.”

I shook my head and felt tears fill my eyes, “I just can’t do it mama Ellena…” I said in almost a whisper. “I’m not as strong as Serenity, or as brave as Cam, or as straight forward as Anna. and I’m obviously not any better than Tasha.” I took a deep breath and let it out slow, “Its her that he wants, and I’m fine with that.”

“Even if its breaking you?” I asked.

“Even if its breaking me.” I repeated.

She sighed, “Well, it looks like your mind is made up.” she says, “Here.”

She handed me the folder, “What is it?”

“In case you need to escape.” She says before kissing me on top of my head and left the room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*end.of.flashback~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When I opened that folder I had the very same reaction as Eric did.

“Well, I don’t see why I can stop you from going.” He said.

“I know you wouldn’t,” I said, “I just need to know that you understand.”

He smiled and leaned forward, “Jean, if you need this, then do it. Its about time that you do something for yourself.”

“Eric…”

“And I will support you every step of the way.” he finished.

I laughed and stood up, running to his side and giving him a hug.

“Thank you, thank you for everything.” I whispered to him, not wiping away the tears.

“I’ll miss you around here though.” He whispered.

“It’s just for a few years.” I assured him, “I can’t stay that too long from my family.”

He chuckled and then let me go, he gave me a look that was matched with a frown. “It will break Aarons’ heart.”

“Meh, he’ll get over it.” I lied. I knew of all the boys it was Aaron who I would miss the most, well, aside from Eric who was now like a big brother to me. But Aaron was different, he was the guy who I would always wish for to be mated to, and I know I always will.

“I don’t think so.” Eric teased. “When do you plan to leave?”

“After the wedding.” I said, “I can’t miss my big brother’s wedding can I?”

He chuckled and nodded.

“Besides, Serenity will kick my behind if I even try to bail on any of her wedding activities.” I said, “Which, I must add, is driving her mad.”

I gave her a look, “What do you mean?”

I chuckled and whacked him on the side, “And here I thought you know her like the back of your palm.” He gave me a look telling me to continue. “She’s a simple girl, Eric, she’s not for extravagant and loud balls or weddings. All she wants is to be mated and married to the man of her dreams, hell, she’d probably marry you even when she’s only wearing a potato sack.”

He gave a laugh and tousled my hair.

“I wish I don’t have to leave.” I said.

“I wish the same.”

“If only things with Cole’s different…”

“No, don’t do this to yourself Jean.” He said, “Don’t let him be the reason that you are doing this, do this for yourself. This is your dream and its your decision if you want it to come true or not. It isn’t because you are running away from him.”

I forced a smile and nodded.

“Come home, ok?” he says.

“As long as you don’t let anyone take my room and my huge closet space, I’ll be here every chance I get.”

“It’s like you don’t even have to ask.” Was all the respond he gave and gave me another hug before I left for my room.

And I guess the next events that took place shouldn’t have surprised me at all.

Cause the next morning Aaron barged into my room, out of breath. I jumped a feet out of bed and glared at him, half awake.

“What the hell?” I snapped.

“You were the last one to see Eric.” he said.

I frowned, “Yeah.”

“What did you talk about?” he asked.

“It’s personal.” I said, sliding the folder underneath my pillow, deeper underneath to make sure he doesn’t see. “What’s going on Aaron?”

“They’re gone.” he said. “Eric and Serenity eloped.”

I frowned and was soon out of bed and with the others at the kitchen, all holding a mug of coffee.

“If they wee so excited to marry they should have just said so.” Anna says.

“I don’t think its that.” Liam said.

“What do you mean?” Siam asked.

“Eric would never be this reckless, he knows that Serenity is still in trouble and he won’t take risk of leaving the safety of his own pack.” He says.

“And Serenity?” Gelya asked.

“She’s responsible.” Liam said. “She knows when it is too much, this is way pass her limit.”

“No…” I said to no one in particular. “I think they left in their own free will.”

“You don’t know that.” Cole snaps, “You’ve known Serenity what? A few weeks, and you act like you know her better than any of us?”

I gave him a look and noticed that the others had the same look he did, even Aaron. I was in no place to speak then, so I stood up and gave them all a look.

“Well, at least I know her enough to know that she was just riding along with all these wedding crap we’re shoving down her throat.” I snapped back. “All she wants is a quiet life with her mate, a life away from all the drama and pain. Away from here.”

With that said I left for my room and decided that it was time for me to leave as well.

When I reached my room, I grabbed the folder underneath my pillow and dropped it on top of the coffee table where I can see it.

Then I rushed to my closet and started to grab clothes that I would be needing, it will be a long trip and a long time away from the new home I found.

I grabbed my favorite shirt and caught something fall.

A white envelope.

I picked it up and instantly noticed Eric’s hand writing.

I tore it open and started to read.

Dearest Jean,

If you are reading this a few hours after we are said to have eloped, then I guess Serenity is right that a lady would never leave home without her favourite clothes.

Anyway, it is true, we eloped. And I’m not really sure when we will come home.

Thinking of what you said earlier, how you would want things to be different between you and Cole, it made me think.

Things with Serenity and I will never be quiet and simple. It will never be like how we want it to be as long as we are here. So we decided to leave for a few years, maybe start a family alone and away from shifters.

It will be hard and painful, maybe a tad bit dangerous. But it’s worth the risk.

But not everything is.

Like you, I long to see my mate happy and content.

As for you and your mate, that would not be possible when there are unresolved issues between you two. Leaving him would not make things easier, nor will it help you in anyway. But the acceptance of your fate will.

You both will weaken, will be in pain, will long to be in each others presence. I don’t know if there’s a way around it, but it would be better if you settle this before you leave. Unless you want to kill your mate.

And I doubt that that is your goal, if it is, feel free to tell Aaron and he will take care of him for you. Well, then you’d have to deal with Anna and Siam.

Think about this sister, it is your future that you are risking after all.

Remember what I said, I will always be near.

As I would probably need a good doctor when Serenity do give birth to our children.

I will see you soon, sister.

Love, Eric

I smiled and reread the letter, then I noticed something inside the envelope.

One way ticket to Manhattan; just where I was supposed to be.

On the flap of the envelope there was another note.

P.S Serenity hid a letter for everyone, and I think she might have done a bit of too much of a good job hiding it. so if you can just grab the envelope underneath her mattress and put it on a more obvious place, that would be a great help.

I laughed and shook my head thinking of that day we played and horsed around.

I reread the letter over and over again, thinking of what he meant by see you soon, but there was another thing that I had to worry about.

Later that night I was in Serentiy’s room flipping over everything making it look like that I was in search of something, finally I ran my hand underneath the mattress and found the letter.

And I guess I made enough ruckus cause I heard running from the hall and soon they were all there.

“What are you doing Jean?” Anna asked.

I slowly turned around and showed them the letter.

“Eric and Serenity are responsible.” I said, “They would not leave without explanation.”

Liam walked up to me and snatched the letter and tore it open, then he started reading it.

To everyone,

I’m pretty sure that you are all pissed and angry right now, but I’m glad that you haven’t sent in the dogs to find us. Cause, well, obviously you found my letter which is so well hidden that I’m quite surprised you found it.

To answer your question, yes we did run away, but not from you.

We ran away for us.

Eric and I want something that we will never have if we stayed.

I want peace and quiet. I want my children to be able to live like normal kids, and not locked-up and under our shadows. I want them to shine in their own greatness, at their own time. And I don’t see that possible while I am still the daughter of the moon and Eric is alpha, and he agrees with me.

Please don't misinterpret this as running away from our responsibilities. This isn't permanent, but right now, our priority is the family that we want to start.

Our family.

We have decided to leave for a few years, give our children the space and freedom we never had, and we deeply wish that you accept and respect our decision.

As for Eric’s responsibility, we are leaving the Crescent Moon pack under Jake and Cam. When we return, it is up to you if you would want to hand it over to us or not. We have sent word to Uncle Peter as well asking him to continue to run the Marx’ pack until our return.

As for my responsibility, rest assured that I will keep an eye over all of our kind we will come home at the right time.

My heart is still with our kind and all of you.

But for now, I am giving it time to heal and be stronger.

Please do take care of each other. Don’t let our departure change the perfect life you all have, a life that Eric and I are starting.

I know you girls are probably mad at me for not going through with the wedding, but if it would make you happy, I still took the gown and the choice of flower you had to remind me that I was never alone in planning the most perfect day of a girl’s life.

To which I disagree, for the most perfect day for me, will be the day that we reunite again.

The day that we are all happy and content to be who we are and who we are with, the day I cannot wait to come.

With much love and care, Serenity.

After Liam read the letter we were all left with our own thoughts and the room fell into a eerie silence.

“They’re gone…” Tasha says, “They’re really gone.”

“They promised to come home.” Aaron says, “Serenity never breaks a promise.”

“But she left without telling us.” Anna says, “She left when she just got home again.”

“They’re doing this for them.” Siam says, “They deserve this.”

“No!” Anna snapped, “They’re supposed to be here, planning their wedding, while we support them.”

“We can still support them from here.” I offered.

They all turned to me.

“I… I know this isn’t the best time to announce this, but…” I glanced around then my eyes landed at Aaron, “I’m leaving as well.”

“What?” Cam asked.

“Uhm, Mama Ellena helped me get into a medical school, and I already spoke with Eric and Serenity, they gave me their blessing and I will be leaving tomorrow.”

“Jean…”

“I need to do this.” I cut off Aaron, “I need to do something for myself. I’m not… I’m not trying to prove anyone wrong about what they think of me. I am proving to myself that I have worth and… and… and that I have a purpose of being here. So, I hope that I get your support even if I’m away from home.” I paused and this time I turned to Cole, “Even if I’m not worth it.”

“Jean…” Anna walked up to me and wrapped her arms around me as a new set of tears came over me.

This time, it was tears that I have been keeping and lying about; tears that I have not shed for myself. I felt Cam hugged me as well, and I looked over Anna’s shoulder and saw Aaron glaring at me then at Cole.

“This is your fault!” he snapped and punched Cole in the face.

“Aaron!” I moved out of the girls’ hold.

“And you!” he screamed at Tasha, “You knew, you spoke to her at the circus! You told her she would be good for him, that it’s about time that they both are happy. Well, you just ruined all that!”

“Stop it, Aaron!” Liam snapped.

“Now you’re protecting her? You aren’t even acknowledging her as your mate, when you obviously know that she is!” Aaron shouted at Liam before storming off.

I looked down at Cole, I wanted to console him and make sure that he was alright. But I didn’t.

“Aaron!” I ran after him, following his scent. He had shifted and ran out to the forest. So I did the same and ran after him.

After ten minutes of running I reached the lake and saw Aaron throwing out rocks into the lake.

I shifted to my human form and walked toward him.

“Aaron-“

“Shouldn’t you be packing?” he snapped.

“Aaron please listen-“

“No!” he turned to me, angry. “No I will not listen to you talking weak and crap cause that isn’t the Jean I know!” I stood there, helpless, seeing Aaron in pain and angry and it was all because of me. “The Jean I know is strong and stubborn, she wouldn’t give up what was meant to be hers and I refuse to see that you are starting to now.”

He walked toward me, “You can’t let him step on you like this. This is your home, let him leave-“

“But if Tasha decides to leave with him, then Liam will be broken-hearted.”

“Then what about me?” he snapped, “What about my heart when you leave?”

“Aaron…”

“You’re supposed to be with me Jean, not that douche who is taking you for granted for some lame human who doesn’t even love him.”

“Aaron, please don’t do this.” I pleaded.

“I can’t.” he says. “I love you Jean, and I don’t think there’s a cure for this.”

“There is, once you find your mate.”

He shook his head, “I don’t think I’ll love her as much as I love you.”

“Aaron, please-“

“Just hear me out, Jean.”

“No.” I stepped away, “As much as I do want this, it’s not meant to be Aaron, we’ll just fool ourselves and hurt those we love. And I know how painful it is to be rejected by my mate because he loves someone else. I don't want you to choose and hurt your mate. I don't want you to be like Cole..” He stared at me in silence. So I took his hand, reached for his face and looked him deep in his eyes. “I love you Aaron, I truly do, and there isn’t a day that I don’t wish that you were the one who I was mated to. But seeing that isn’t the case, it would be wrong and unfair for our mates- your mate, to not be able to put up a fight for you.”

He just stood there, eyes filled with tears which I wiped away.

“I love you.” I said again, “Let that be enough for now.”

“Let me go with you.” he says.

“Siam needs you here.” I shook my head.

“He has Liam.” He said.

“But Anna would need you.” I said. “Jake would be busy with the pack and Cam. Anna would need a friend, one that she had known for a long time. Someone who is not scared to throw a punch at her brother cause he's being a jerk.”

He chuckled and I smiled. “Besides, Serenity would want no one but the best to guard her nephew.”

He stared at me before he also wiped away my tears. “I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“So will I.” I said. “You’re my best friend Aaron, nothing will change that.”

“I know,” he then stared down at me, “don’t hesitate to give me a call when you’re in trouble, ok?”

“I won’t.”

“Good.” He smiled and then gave me another hug. “Reach for the stars Jean, reach for the stars.”

Aaron and I spoke and laughed for hours that it was way past midnight when we came home. I went straight to my room and looked around, I picked up the folder again and flipped through it. I was lost in thoughts of my plans once I step out of the plane that I didn’t notice a certain someone step into my room.

Well, almost didn’t.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“Jean…”

I turned and saw Cole standing by the door, his face bruised.

“Aaron got you good there.” I said walking up to him and checked his bruise.

“Yeah, that little boyfriend of yours actually is stronger than he looks.”

I gave him a look, “He isn’t my boyfriend.”

“The bruise on my face and his screaming dare to disagree with that.”

I step away and glared at him, “What do you want Cole?”

He shrugged, “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that you’d be crazy enough to leave your home just because I’m here-“

“I’m not leaving because of you.” I turned around toward the cabinet where I keep a first aid kit.

“Do you really think I buy that crap of yours of doing this for yourself?” he snapped.

“Its not crap.” I said walking up to him.

“Yes it is.” He stepped up.

“No it’s not.”

“Yes it is, you can’t lie to your mate.” He says, which surprised him.

“Well, you took your time.” I shrugged, “Sit.”

“What?”

“I need to heal that bruise of yours.” I said, “Or do you want to walk around looking like a raccoon?”

He sighed and did as told. I knelt in front of him and settled between his legs as I began to clean up his bruise. I caught him staring at me and I refuse to catch his eyes. Which was pretty hard when you’re fixing up his face.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I really am sorry, Jean.” He said. “I don’t mean for you to leave your home.”

“You made a choice and I respect that.” I said non chalant as I continue to clean his wound.

“If it helps I can leave and-“

“No.” I said, “If you do that then Anna would get sad and I’m sure Tasha would leave with you, causing Liam to get depress, then he won’t be such an effective beta. Then Siam will have a depressed wife and beta.”

“But what about you-“

“I’ve been alone my whole life, nothing new.”

“You don’t have to be alone.” He says. I stopped and looked at him. but he looked away, “I mean, Aaron seems a nice guy-“

“He is a nice guy, he’s great in fact. But I’m not crazy enough to steal him away from his mate.” I continued to clean him up, dubbing ointment on the wound on his cheek.

Then to my surprise, he took my hand, making me stop working. I looked back at him again.

“I do want to be with you Jean, my mind, my wolf and my body wants to be with you.”

“But your heart is calling out for Tasha.” I said. “I get it Cole, she was the one who was there when you had no one. She understood you when no one did. But did you ever think that maybe the reason the fates chose us to be together so we would learn to trust others? Learn to accept that we aren’t so great that we can go through this life alone.”

I frowned, “I was like you, I never believed in mates, until I saw Eric. How he hoped and fought to be with Serenity again, I learned that there will always be things in life that will hurt us, that doesn’t go as we planned. But it doesn’t mean that we should give up. That we should take those pain and disappointments to hope that tomorrow will be better, that we can’t get any lower than we already are.” I looked deep in his eyes, hoping that every word I spoke got through his heart, “That there are things that are worth the risk.”

I pulled away from him and stood up, fixing the ointments and materials I used.

“That would bruise for maybe a couple of days, but if you-“

I was cut short by Cole and a kiss.