Snuck out

RIX’s P.O.V.

I could feel myself breaking down as I made my decision in front of everyone watching me on the app during my lowest point.

Do you watch me stand up on my own when the world tries to knock me down?

Apparently, I wasn't alone when facing the most challenging moment of my life because my friends were here, witnessing my growth.

They offered their help, but I kept refusing it.

And if I said I don't feel anything for Apollo anymore, I would be lying. BECAUSE I STILL DO!

Honestly, I would like to give it another try.

Perhaps my initial decision was influenced by the overwhelming number of eyes watching me.

Humans can be foolish.

Friends often advise their hurt loved ones to stay away, but those same friends act as if they're listening while secretly still engaging with the person who hurt them— going back to the same place that hurts them.

I wanted to avoid falling into that pattern.

I'm only human. I'm not a superhuman capable of controlling my emotions to the point of making rational decisions.

It was a long, long pause. Inadvertently, we locked eyes and silently tried to reach each other's hearts.

"I'm not giving up. No matter what you say to me, remember that I won't give up on you again. I've already been through misery for four years, and I don't want to live that life again."

My heart softened.

How can I deny that I still love the way he comforts me with his gentle words and sincere acknowledgment of his mistakes?

I bit my lower lip, trying to hold back from speaking.

Responding to the situation in front of my friends was challenging. Knowing at the back of my heart that I still want him.

What if they judge me?

Instead of responding, I tried my best to avoid making eye contact with him and went inside Adonis' room.

Adonis was bidding his goodbye to Apollo while I was trying to usher them into the room. I hadn't even finished eating my food yet.

In order to save my ass from embarrassment and the humiliation I could bring, this seemed like the best solution I could choose.

"Mom, are you shy?" asked Adonis, as if he wanted to intervene.

"Donny, don't try to meddle in adult affairs. You're too young to be involved in our problems. Just be a child. That's all I want you to do," I said, smiling at him.

But Donny didn't seem happy with what I said.

"Mom, I don't think it's just adult affairs alone. I believe the family is involved in this issue. As much as I wanted for you to take charge, I can't do it, Mom."

I lowered myself to Donny's level.

"Son, I know it's been hard for you to—"

"Actually Mom, it's not hard for me to see my father," he interrupted.

I pouted my lips. This was breaking my heart...

I didn't think he deserved to be deprived of his father's love like this.

But what should I do? Haven't I learned from the past?

I raised Adonis alone.

There were plenty of people who could help me with finances, to stabilize my income in life.

But they still need to receive my agreement for that kind of deal.

I faced struggles, storms, and thunder alone.

So why on earth do I still feel pity for him?

"I know what you're thinking," she said.

It was Charis.

She added, "If you feel like her presence is making you uncomfortable, just let me know. I will try my best to keep her away from our stories. You know I'm always on your side."

I hugged her tightly.

Adonis joined in the hug too.

"I love you, Mom. And I want to love my father too... my real father, Mom. Can you please give me that as a gift?"

Maybe it was unfair on my part to let Adonis come along with Apollo.

But I failed to see the other reality, that this wasn't all about me.

The thing I was always trying to protect also had its downside.

I was inadvertently affecting my son's childhood.

"Can I talk to you later, my son?" I asked.

Donny looked at me and gave me a calming stare.

"Yes, Mom, but please don't rush. I know that this is the most difficult decision to make because it's between me and my father, who abandoned me. But I wanted to give him a chance, Mom...“

Remember, I'm just a 4-year-old kid.

Was he being bullied?

Could that be the reason why he was fixated on having a relationship with Apollo as his father?

I didn't know. I was stuck in between...

Donny went into the closet where I had turned it into a playhouse for him.

From the outside, it looked tiny, but once you entered, you could have a world of fun, especially for kids like Adonis.

Charis sat on my bed.

"Don't stress yourself out thinking too critically. Life isn't complicated; humans are the ones making it that way. So, if you want to claim your husband's name again, even if it hurts you repeatedly, go ahead."

God damn it, why did I always tear up whenever Charis spoke?

"How are you so wise in life? How can you give me advice on finding accurate and feasible solutions?" I asked.

She tapped my shoulder and said, "Maybe because I see the bigger picture than you because you were also a part of the picture. It's not pathetic to ask someone how your life looks from the outside, from their point of view alone. Maybe you can finally find the solution you've been searching for all your life."

Charis was eating so much food all at once, yet she still had this immense wisdom.

"I don't know, I just don't want to make a hasty decision," I replied.

Charis patted my shoulder and smiled.

"You know, it's not that bad to hold off on making a decision until the end of the session when you're truly ready and won't regret it."

I didn't know what was wrong with me.

Honestly, I knew my decision. I know what I should do as I had stated earlier in front of Apollo and my friends. That's what I thought I should do. Maybe it's the same decision my friends would want me to make.

But honestly, it's not what I truly wanted.

It's not what my heart desired all along. I had kept it hidden, thinking it was the right thing to do.

I had this feeling that someone else was influencing my decision-making process.

It felt like I was dependent on people's reactions.

Public opinion was one of the things I didn't want to think about.

—

Days had passed.

Donny was doing great in school, and my business was still growing, providing enough to support my 4-year-old son and me.

It was late at night, and the world was already asleep.

But my thoughts wouldn't let me sleep.

It kept on knocking my head, trying to wake me up.

Suddenly, someone covered my mouth.

I struggled fiercely, but he was so strong that he managed to drag me out of my house.

Harold was sleeping beside me, but he was on the sofa at that time.

So, no matter how loudly I yelled, no one would hear me.

We were already far away from my house when he finally let go of me, but I didn't release his hand.

I positioned his hand on his back and locked his neck using the other hand.

"What the fuck do you want from me?" I demanded, my voice muffled by his hand.

He withdrew his hand, but he didn't do anything to harm me.

He simply faced me, fixing his eyes on mine, maintaining a distance of a few inches between us.

"Apollo?! Is this really necessary for you to do?" I asked.

"I know it's not ideal, but it's the best way I can think of to talk to you privately," he replied.

But seriously, what is this?

Here we are, in the middle of the night under the moonlight.

He's shirtless, and I can't help but be lost in his abs. GOSH, THIS DIRTY MIND!

I could pretend that I didn't care, but the truth is, the part of me that wants to admire it in a vulgar way is stronger.

"How about we keep this night separate from reality?" I suggested, lowering my voice seductively.

He gently held my chin, and for a moment, I thought it was the beginning of something...

But fuck, I just ruined the moment with my foolishness.

"Please don't make me do something I'll regret later," I pleaded.

"Why would I regret it? I never would," I replied.

He stared at me, clearly bothered by many things.

But he walked away, not going too far from me.

"Maybe if you try to do it, you'll regret it later because it could just be a momentary burst of emotion—"

I didn't let him finish speaking.

I had been wondering how it would feel to kiss Apollo again.

I had rehearsed this scenario in my mind for so long.

I tried to convince myself it was just for show, a fake moment to gain control over him.

But damn it...

I missed this intense and passionate connection we shared. I know that I’m not faking it.

With aggression, I kissed him, and he fought back with the same intensity.

In the midst of our passionate embrace, I managed to utter, "Why are we doing this?"

He chuckled, making him even sexier.

"You're the only one who can answer that," he said.

Apollo carried me, holding me close, and I wrapped my legs around him, still not breaking the mischievous kiss.

Argh...

I could feel the wetness building between my legs.

Apollo was leading us somewhere I couldn't see.

I trusted him and his instincts completely.

Only then did I realize that we were inside his car…

His spacious car had been converted into a makeshift bedroom, shielded from prying eyes with tinted windows.

Oh, my...

Apollo was gentle as he caressed me.

He traced every curve of my body, igniting a storm of desire within me.

Even the tiger lines I have around my legs.

It’s not even beautiful, but he made me feel as if it was because of his way of touching.

Apollo is making me feel alive in every single cell of me.

The sensation rises, as he entered his cock into my opening.

"Ahh…" I moaned silently.

As much as possible I never wanted anyone to see me in such a nasty situation.

But was it nasty or just….

I'm begging him to move faster, asking him for more.

Trying to cum…

But won't just come out yet.

It's not enough, I need more.

Ah…

"I love you," he whispered, in his horse voice, kissing my forehead.

Tears come down as if it was trespassing police.

I don't know how did I feel, or what happened, but it came out of my mouth naturally.

"I love you too," I said, almost above a whisper.

Hugging him is the least of the thing is wants to do.

Or is it the least?

"No matter how long it would take for me to win you back again I will wait."

Now he kissed my lips, as gently as possible, leaning my head to his arm as a final move, resting me in his broad chest.

Falling asleep away from my child isn't my thing. I'm not into it because I always worry about his welfare, so I can't just sleep soundly outside my hut, knowing my child is alone.

"Donny is with my driver," he whispered.

Just like that, I let myself soak in the beauty of his presence, allowing myself to fall asleep beside the man I love the most.

Ending this night is my nightmare because tomorrow is yet to be revealed.

But it's okay, it's just for tonight.

What could happen?

——

Last night was a blast.

The morning rises, but it remains in my mind. I will never forget it, I guess.

It was the thing I had been missing for several years.

As I let the sun strike my face, I looked at my naked body, tracing it with my bare eyes.

Releasing a deep breath, only to realize that I'm still not ready for another commitment of love.

Surely, even if he tries not to, it will never go away— that pain is the reciprocator of love.

Once it's over, the pain is too.

And if risking loving him again, fully committing myself would hurt me and my pride.

I've promised myself that the only thing I would focus on right now is none other than Donny.

Looking for the last thing I wore yesterday, while Apollo is still sleeping naked.

I gulped.

I'm sorry…

I'm still not ready to commit.

This wouldn't just hurt me but my friends too.

I'm going to escape again from what I wanted.

As I stepped out of the camping tent that Apollo had set up, I looked outside to see if Harold or maybe Donny was already awake.

It scares me to think that they might find out what I did last night.

I was preoccupied, which I shouldn't be.

"Mom..." Donny called out as I approached my hut. Apollo was right; he had arranged for a bodyguard for our son.

I cleared my throat.

"Yes, honey?" I responded.

"Oh, Mom... I missed your embrace last night. Can I have a hug, please?"

I hugged him.

Donny's birthday is tomorrow.

What can I do to make him happy?

Ah... my mind is wandering again.

"Hey, Beatrix," Harold called out. "What would you like for breakfast? I think we should grab breakfast from the restaurant instead of cooking."

Donny jumped in excitedly.

"Yes, Mom! I want that! Can we do that? I'm so hungry! I want to eat a burger at the fast-food place right now!"

I shook my head.

"If that's what you want, then okay. Call for Yuna and Aunt Charis. We'll have breakfast outside.”

I'm yawning.

I could barely sleep last night, which is why.

I just hope Harold doesn't notice, especially since he's so good at picking up on small mistakes or changes.

Charis and Harley agreed with my proposal to eat outside.

As we stepped outside in the hut, Harold insisted on taking his car instead.

But as we stepped outside, Apollo was already waiting.

"Hey," my boy, Adonis, said, smiling from ear to ear. Just as you were about to reach for my hand, my friends stopped him.

"I thought we talked about this last night," said Harold, fuming as he speaks.

I took a deep breath.

"Maybe you were too persistent when she didn't want it anymore.”

I want...

How can I say that without offending anyone?

"Leave now, Apollo. I don't need you,” I said, looking away.

I clenched my fist as I said those words.

At this moment, I couldn't express what my heart truly desired.

What everyone thinks is best for me will be what I'll accept.

Can I continue walking toward Harold's car?

Apollo grabbed my hand.

"Hey, what happened? You just left—"

"Are you referring to what happened in the past?"

God, damn it! I know he’s not!

"What are you saying?"

"I don't want to explain to you anymore. Let's just pretend it never happened."

His brows furrowed in confusion.

"Are we having a misunderstanding, Beatrix?" I simply shook my head.

"When we had... I don't want to elaborate. You know what we did," I said.

Donny interrupted. "Mom, did you guys talk last night?"

Harold was also curious. "What is he talking about from last night? Don't tell me..."

"Whatever you’re thinking right now, yes, yes it’s true. But let's stop discussing it. I don't want to talk about it anymore. Let's end it here," I said firmly.

I looked at him with indifference, as if I didn't care, and continued walking to work in Harold's car.

With each step, I could feel the weight of my decision.

I don't enjoy doing this, but I believe it's the best decision to make.

It feels like there's something lodged in my throat. I gulped, trying to wash away the feeling.

They all followed me except for Apollo, who was now ignoring me.

It's the first time he hasn't followed me, and I feel disappointed that he doesn't seem to be bothered by it.

I glanced at him from inside the car as we left him behind.

Taking deep breaths, I watched him and couldn't help but feel like this is all my fault.

Am I wrong again for thinking this way?

Charis looked at me and asked, "Tell me what happened."