Coastal Love 35 Self Doubting

"Morning fiance..." He whispered with his sexy morning voice in my ear. It echoes and vibrated all through my body, down to my tippy toes.

I snuggled in closer to him, inhaling his scent, as he chuckled and pulled me into his arms.

"So, I was thinking to let your dad know about the engagement. Then we could visit my brother and let them know too, maybe over dinner? I'm getting to work for a couple of hours, then we'll do lunch at your dad's and break the news to him."

"Mmm...." I didn't say anything I just stay in his arms. I still couldn't believe that this was all happening in such a short time. I was living my books. Finally, a happily ever after just for me.

We had our slow and steamy morning sex, then he left me for work. I finally got out of bed half an hour later. I look myself in the mirror and blush to see all the love marks that he had intentionally left behind for me.

Then I texted him, missing him already.

Just saw your kisses all over my body. Miss U, Love U - Marissa

He was probably still driving. I decided to take a shower and....mmm....what should I do now?

Then it all hit me in one go.

I'm engaged, I'm nineteen and I'm already engaged. Shit! Am I even doing this right?

I took a deep breath and rest my back on the shower wall.

Alice, I need to talk to Alice.

I quickly finished my shower and get dressed. Then I saw the note that he left for me on the kitchen counter, next to the coffee pot.

For my beautiful future wife.

I love you, baby. Always.

Yours - Nate

Then my hands started to sweat.

Wife? I'm freaking nineteen years old, I haven't even gone to college yet. I haven't had my first job yet.

What the hell, was I even thinking about? I was a suicidal teenager couple of months back.

I left his place and took a bus to the coastal side. I called Alice earlier asking where she was.

"Marissa darling, you don't sound so good. I'm at Novelty with Archie. Are you coming here?..."

I told her, that I was on my way there. That I needed to talk to her, then I hang up. I kept on fiddling with my hands the whole bus ride, until I finally arrived at the bus stop, and walked quickly to Novelty.

Then I saw her and hugged her tight, and let my tears fall. All the feelings that I had, all came rushing down into my hug with Alice.

"Marissa? Is it Nate? What did that fellow do to you?" Archie was coming out from the back room.

Then I walked towards him, and hug him tightly, and cry some more. I was a sobbing mess when I heard Alice let out a little scream.

"Marissa! What's that thing on your ring finger? Who did that to you?! God, I hope it's Nate. What happens? Did he cheat? Changed his mind?...." She was asking me all these questions.

"Alice love, why don't you get the tea out. I think it's done, I'll take Marissa to her seat." She patted Alice on her shoulder making her stop with the questions, and then she went to the backroom for the tea.

"Sit down kiddo, we will wait for Alice then you will tell us what happens okay?" He told me as he gave me tissues for my tears.

I had calmed myself down when Alice arrived with the tea. Then I told them everything, about his proposal, and my worries and anxiety.

"I don't want him to regret this. What if I won't be good enough for him? Not sophisticated enough? Not smart enough? I haven't even gone to college yet."

Then Alice laughed at me. "Ah my sweet young Marissa, if it's love then it's love. No matter how old, or how young you find it. And it won't matter how far you ran away from him. If it's meant to be, you will get back together with me no matter what." She took Archie's hand and kissed it.

I saw the love in their eye. Making me feel a little bit better.

"Just make it a long engagement, maybe married after you finish college or had your first job. It doesn't have to be this month or even this year. I'm sure he will understand. He seemed like a nice young man." Alice caressed my cheek lovingly. Making me miss my mom, then I started tearing up again.

"I'm good Alice, it's just that you reminded me of my mom. I missed her." I gave her my smile. Then she pulled me in for a hug. That was when I feel my phone vibrate.

Oh damn! I forget to turn the ringtone on after my bus ride.

It was Nate.

"Marissa? Where are you? Are you okay? I texted you and you haven't replied to any of them. It's lunchtime...wait have you been crying? Fuck baby, where the hell are you?"

I sighed when he heard my sniffles, as he blurted out his questions.

"I'm at Novelty, I just need to talk to Alice..."

Archie took Alice to the back room, to give me some privacy, while I was talking to Nate. I explained everything to him.

"Just stay right there. I'm coming for you. I'll be there in about an hour." He sounded nervous but relieved at the same time.

"Alice, thank you...for the talk. Nate is coming for me. I'm going to wait for him in the cottage."

"Oh Marissa no need darling, I'm here for you okay...are you sure you don't want to wait here? We could talk some more?"

"I'm good Alice, I need to lie down. I'm going to rest for a while there." I hugged her again and said goodbye to Archie.

I was still waiting for Nate, it was two hours already. He should be here by now. I tried calling him but went straight to voice mail. I was getting worried. I tried to read to keep my mind off of him, but I kept on reading the same page, not being able to finish it.

It was three was almost four hours later, I was pacing the small living room. I got this weird vibe, that something had happened to him.

At that same time, Bridgette called me. I lost my strength, and finally, sit down on the couch.

"Marissa honey... I'm on my way there to pick you up, Nate is in the hospital. He's okay, he was in an accident. He just got seatbelt bruises. But the hospital wouldn't let him leave, they're afraid that he might have a concussion. It's procedural. And he couldn't find his phone, just wait for me I'll be there in about an hour."

An hour later Bridgette arrived at the cottage, I was already waiting for her outside. She was hugging me in no time.

"Oh Marissa, don't worry honey. It sounded more serious on the phone, he was actually more worried about you when he called me. He's perfectly fine honey. Come, we should leave now."

My mind was all over the place. But I quickly rushed my steps and get in her car. I was fiddling with my hands again, then she gave me her phone.

"I'm connecting you to his work phone, it's connecting...go ahead." She smiled and started the car.

"Bridgette, did you get to her place already..." His voice was weak. My heartbreak for him as I imagined him lying on a hospital bed, I cried instantly.

"Hey baby, I'm okay. It's only a chest bruise I'll be fine in a couple of days. They're just keeping me overnight..."

"I'm sorry Nate, but I was...I'm...this whole engagement thing got me thinking..." Then I felt Bridgette's hand on mine caressing me, and grinning so wide making me laugh.

I was crying, and laughing at the same time.

"Marissa?"

"Yeah, that was Bridgette she kind of found out about our news...look, I'll talk to you when I get there okay...yes, love you too...bye." I was giggling when I hung up the phone.

"My god! Congratulations honey! Why didn't you talk to me?..."

"Actually I was going to, then I remembered you being extra close with dad, we were about to tell him the news at lunch today..." I told her honestly.

She let out an awkward laugh. And patted my hand. We talked all the way back to the city. I couldn't wait to see him. I was feeling much better after talking to Alice earlier.

I'm doing this. I love him too much to hurt him.

Alice was right. If it's meant to be then we will be together.