Chapter 2

Jigar Bhansali may have walked off in a huff but he could not shake off the protectiveness he felt for his best friend. Abhilasha came into his life at a time when he had no hopes to have genuine friends. He was depressed, forlorn with no hopes of surviving the stress of teenage life. He was a borderline personality disorder case refusing to take psychiatric help; on the verge of giving himself to drugs. He saw the hope of survival in Abhilasha. She was the one and only friend he had made for life and he would do anything to keep her safe in his life. His protectiveness stemmed from his love and a deep sense of insecurity of losing her to others. He wasn't against her dreams and ambitions; he was against her adventurous ways of seeking life's varied experience.

Abhilasha was too innocent and gullible. She had lived the most sheltered and perfect life, almost in a cocoon and she perceived life in the same way. Her world was divided into two strands: the right and the wrong. There was no chance for grey to exist; either angelic or demonic. However, between the world of right and wrong, she never judged people on the same parameters. Perhaps this is why she had befriended me; to her, I was a product of misguided decisions, extravagant lifestyle, moneyed parents but still a hopeful case who could be redeemed.

She found me cute and frankly I failed to understand her grey matter. Her choices, likes and dislikes were a contemplation in itself. Her carefree, bold attitude was in direct contrast to the societal conventions, she followed so religiously. She was open yet so bounded and secretive about her deep thoughts. She was a mystery and I was still not done unravelling the fine layers of her intriguing character. The star student of her school and amongst our friends; she was a ravishing beauty (34-26-30, something all boys would kill for). Sadly, she never concentrated on her looks, it was always the brain that mattered to her.

The nerd never lifted her eyes from her books to appreciate the glances boys stole at her. Initially, she appeared coquettish to me but later I realized she harboured a deep sense of insecurity with respect to her looks. She could never accept compliments for her outer appearance not even from me. God knows how her brain was wired. According to her people paid compliments as a form of flattery, now that was some logic I failed to perceive.

Mumbai was her dream destination! The city personified freedom to her, the freedom that she had never experienced under the controlled eyes of her parents. To me, it seemed fair that her parents cared and protected her, after all, parents need to be worried about our wellbeing. My parents aren't bad people, they just aren't fit to look after me. I have all the freedom in the world (it seems to Abhilasha), I cannot have a better life than what I am living according to her but I can experience the strong strains of shackles in everything I do. I am judged for who my parents are. My life choices have to be weighed in comparison to them. There is no chance for mediocrity to thrive and yet the truth is I am a very mediocre person. I am hounded by my dad's superlative successful career and my mother's fine lineage. To ask me how I am surviving, I would say I am barely living, I am always under the pressure to be the perfect Bhansali.

Abhilasha was immensely talented. She touched people with her strong opinions, easy banter and I care a lot about the world attitude. While my parents didn't as much like her as my BFF, but they respected her for the bright star she was. She needed the right guidance, the right push that would bring out her wings and help her fly high. But I didn't trust the world. I didn't want her to lose her innocence ever, her trust in the goodness of people and hope for a bright future.

The industry she sought to pave her way in was a tricky maze. Neither can you afford to lose your way nor get stuck. Once caught in the whirlpool, pulling out is never an option. Jaideep Sahani was a living example before my eyes. Calm and composed but scheming and ruthless; stooping to any low to achieve power or to keep himself in prominence. No one could take away the credit from him for being a self-made man; yet he despised independence, freedom and contradictory opinions from every quarter. He took it as a direct challenge to his authority or rather put it more simply breaking away from his line of thoughts.

I could never muster the courage to oppose him, surrendering always to his whims and fancies. To put it more correctly, surrendering was easier than finding the courage to fight for my rights. Gratefully, I was spared the worst. Since I failed to take a keen interest in academics, I was not worthy of much of his attention. His eyes fell on the next in line –my sister Aparajita. She wasn't a whiz kid but definitely a brighter option to invest his resources on. Appu as I fondly call her always loved dad more than ma. She always sided with him in all his wrongs and rights, leaving no stone unturned to shine as the faraway star of his constellation.

I accept it, we fancied our dad's life. Ministers bristling in and out of office, bureaucrat buddies hanging out with him in clubs, the glitz of the government circuit and the cherry on the top was ma's glamorous filmy world. It was a hypnotic cocktail, an ecstasy that was sure to ruin even the most level headed person and, well dad was ...

The walk to my car seemed never-ending. Finding a parking space on a weekday on Park Street was like trying to find a needle in the sand dunes of Sahara. After the long walk, it was now time to hear a long monologue from the man himself - Jaideep Sahani.

"Hello Dad," I grunted.

"Meet me in my office for lunch," was the short statement that brought dread in my entire being.

Meeting with Jaideep Sahani always spelt doom for me and I wasn't sure what I was up against this time. His voice held no emotion, nothing that I could predict, so I was on tenterhooks.

I swivelled out, leaving no time for my brain to think and overthink about what was to happen at lunch.

____________x____________________x____________x________________x_________________x___

Clutching the envelope in my hand, I made my way out of the coffee shop in no time and headed back home. The meeting panned out just the way I had imagined it to be a totally useless effort in explaining anything about my ambition to Jigar. He had reacted exactly the way he had been reacting since the time I had revealed my intention to travel to Mumbai. I could not understand his wariness and I did not even put much effort to investigate the matter.

I walked past my favourite restaurants and boutiques on Park Street with a longing to go inside and do what I loved the most, eat and shop. I confined my urges with the promise to splurge on myself the moment I started earning my heart's desire.

I opened the envelope and found two neatly folded letters sitting inside. I was about to begin reading when the blaring horn from the Audi driver made me realize I was risking my life in the middle of the road. And they say my generation is hooked to the cellphone.

"Abhilasha, Abhilasha," I could distinctly hear someone calling out my name. I looked in all directions but found no hand waving at me. My ears must be ringing but they weren't. I felt a hand tapping me on my shoulder.

"Hi," Kiara cheerfully lunged at me.

"Hellll oooo," the words sprang out of my mouth as a cautionary measure than anything else.

Kiara, 23, medium height, long hair, dark-skinned was a quintessential Bengali beauty. She was a beauty with or without brains, I was no one to judge. She was Mr Sahani's newly appointed, Executive Assistant, who tailed him everywhere he went. This meant it was a meeting with the man himself.

"Come, we'll drop you. Mr Sahani and I were passing by when he noticed you and decided to help." She spoke cheerfully.

I just groaned inwardly. Of all the days to kill my mood, everyone was hell-bent on choosing this one. I could not refuse and offend him. I accepted the offer politely.

"Thank you. After you." I was happy Kiara made no attempts to engage me in a tete-a-tete with her. She was too busy with her phone. I was hoping this wasn't about Jigar and me dating. We clearly weren't, but we always gave the wrong indication with our choice of words and actions. And it seemed here I was explaining myself and defending him again.

My heart pounded while I thought of all the things I and Jigar had been up to lately. And I couldn't place my hand on anything until Mr Sahani cared to enlighten me.

Kiara opened the door of the car and I slipped in murmuring a gracious thank you.

Sitting before me was the man himself, Jaideep Sahani. He looked formidable in a crisp linen suit, Cartier watch and Louis Vuitton shoes. I could not look beyond that to concentrate on how he appeared today. Well, he had shaved and looked perfect. Why wasn't Jigar like him? I never drooled over him.

I brought myself to Earth in a snap and greeted him pleasantly.

"Good morning, Jaideep Uncle."

Mr Sahani looked at his watch and greeted me with a demure, "Good afternoon."

I was put in my place with his very first words. How was I supposed to last the entire conversation?

"How are you?" He enquired rather amusingly.

"I am good, Uncle," I added meekly.

"Just good! I thought you would be ecstatic and on cloud nine."

Was this sarcasm mingled with anger? I could not put my finger to it. I had no answer to his repartee. Mr Sahani raised his eyebrows at me questioningly. I didn't want to look like a fool and I decided to play along rather than questioning him.

"Yes, yes, I very much am."

Did I just utter those words? What is wrong with me?

"Good, I am sure you would do well. I hope you have a nice time in Mumbai."

A small "oh" escaped my mouth in terms of understanding the entire conversation. Thankfully my "oh" got lost in his enthusiastic wishing.

"Yes, Uncle, I definitely will and will work to the best of my ability." I hoped this was enough to dissuade him from further pursuing this conversation.

"Abhilasha, I am sure you would. What I expect from you is to uphold my words by proving yourself and show your worth to the world. I generally don't do this and I hope you wouldn't disappoint me."

Where was this conversation going? How would I disappoint him? This was way too cryptic and I had no galls to ask him the true meaning.

I smiled ruefully in acceptance and in of hope of not making a fool of myself. When in doubt don't speak. Just suggest. Gratefully, the next time I opened my mouth was to thank him for the ride and not apologizing for my demeanour.

I was out in no time, waving back at him and murmuring thank you which meant nothing to him. I heaved a sigh of relief when his car was out of sight. I was dropped just outside my house with no chance to run away anywhere else even if I wanted to.

I took the stairs to gather my senses and read the contents of the letter. I took the envelope out and in no time was screaming in joy. Jaideep Sahani had got me an internship at the FMN News and also given me a recommendation letter that was as befitting as my degree attained with distinction. I was overjoyed and did not know what to do. As rightly told by him I should be on cloud nine and I could not falter to do anything wrong or disappoint him. I don't think I ever could after this.