Chapter 27

In the dark night and the equally dark water of the sea stood the shining beacon of light- the Haji Ali Shrine. The sea ebbed and flowed, yet the shrine remained constant and so did the faith of the people in the saint. I walked to the shrine. But instead of finding peace, my mind got embroiled in the empty pursuits of life. The hawkers dotted the path and their loud chants to the customers was a rude reminder of materialism and the pursuit of happiness in money. I was no different. I wanted money to enjoy the luxuries of life; the need for money in life was constant.

I wished for a sea-facing home, I wished for a car waiting outside my house, I wished I could dine in the finest restaurants in the city, I wished to go shopping without worrying about the price tag. I wished and I wished and all my wishes ultimately ended up being a wish because of the lack of money in my pocket. What an endless pursuit it was!

I felt so vain and small amidst the emitting aura of holiness from this shine. I was perhaps confessing to Haji Ali the shallowness that existed within me. I had no courage to walk up to the shrine. I retreated from my steps and walked back towards the bay area, sat down at the promenade and gazed at the dark waters. I had to get my act together.

I hadn't called dad in ages and I decided to call him. Unlike the other people in my life who were always late in being there for me, dad was dad. He picked it up on the first ring.

"Everything is good?" Dad seemed to be on the verge of paranoia.

"Yeah, I am missing you." How I wished my dad would have fanned over my call. But he was a man of little emotions.

"We miss you too. Where are you?"

"I am at Worli, I came for this interview with Laxmi Charu Gupta.

"Good, good. I am so happy you are doing what you love." It choked me to find that my dad believed in me so much.

"Totally. Dad, I need to keep the phone, my colleague is calling me." I lied. I couldn't have stopped myself from crying, had I continued speaking to him anymore.

"We will talk later and if you need anything you can ask."

"Yes. I know. But I am managing fine and once I start getting paid, I will be paying you back."

"No worries on that."

"Bye." This was so convoluted. I wasn't going to earn a penny. I was running out of money, and most of it was being spent by me on my travelling and food. I will have to cut on my eating out in the cafeteria to survive a little longer.

I was dejected. There was no good work coming my way, and whatever little chance I had of impressing people, I screwed it up with my inconsequential questionnaire. I don't know who I was supposed to be angry with, Agam, fate or myself. There were no tears to unburden my guilt. My conscience was heavy by lying to the people I loved constantly about petty things. There was no sight of hope from the grave I had dug myself. Perhaps, I should take up Jigar's offer of looking for locations for his film and start earning some money.

It must have been aeons because I hadn't bothered to check the time while I was self-pitying. It was nine. Bua must be worried and will call any moment. What was the nearest station to take a train back home? I should have stuck to the safest option and rode back to the office. Why the hell did I have to get off here? I will have to spend extra on a taxi to reach the station. I crossed the road and waved my hand rigorously for a taxi to stop but there was no luck. They zoomed past me. It wasn't worth waiting so I kept my feet moving, hoping to find a bus stand nearby.

A car came to a sudden halt and the noise of the screeching brakes made me think of the worst. The window was rolled down by the driver.

"Need help? He asked me sneeringly.

"You are here!" I asked him furiously.

"Well, yes I am here." He replied pretty coolly. "You are walking towards the opposite direction of your home." His eyes were laughing at me and all I wanted was to roll my eyes at him.

"Thank you, but I don't need your help."

"Yes, you do." He said convincingly.

All I could do was growl at him.

"You won't get a taxi in ages unless you want to walk home."

The idea of walking home was hideous. I opened the door and sat. I kept my eyes on the road and lips tightly sealed.

"Vowed not to talk." He asked me teasingly.

I smirked in reply.

"Listen, I am sorry."

"What for?" I asked surprised.

"For getting angry and..."

"Why should it matter?"

"If it doesn't matter, why this sad face."

"You think too highly of yourself Mr Agam..." I forgot his surname.

"Khandelwal" he filled in for me.

"Yes, you think too highly of yourself Mr Agam Khandelwal."

"And why is that?"

"Because I am not sad and even if I am, it is nothing because of you."

"Great. Point taken." He however did not stop at that and continued his interrogation.

"Why are you sad?"

"I am not sad. I am just disappointed."

"Hmm, care to explain."

"Why do you care?"

He shrugged his shoulders while his two hands were steady at the wheel.

"I am disappointed with the way work is panning out. I haven't done anything that I would call learning. Today was a disaster. I screwed up big time and I feel lonely and homesick..." And why am I confessing to him candidly?

"You didn't screw up. You were just not prepared. And I never intended to take you, it was a spur in the moment decision. But..." He continued. "But you've got to be prepared. You have stepped into this world, so news and facts should be at your fingertips. You need to form your own opinion not sway with the popular opinion. Now, that does not mean you can't align to the popular opinion, but having your own formidable opinion is very important."

Well, there was some perspective to this.

"Networking, Abhilasha is the key in this world. You can't stay aloof and you can never survive with two odd friends in this world. Make lots of friends, they need not be your bosom buddies but friends who are the sources of key information. Keep your eyes and ears open. And trust, don't trust anyone except yourself."

"So, why should I trust you and your advice?" I asked him looking into his eyes. And there was complete sincerity and no mocking on his face when I looked at him.

"If it makes sense then keep it otherwise throw it back on my face."

My lips curved into a smile on their own.

"Okay, continue with your advice."

"Read, read and read. Do you know why the intern's area is strewn with newspapers from all over the nation?"

I nodded my head.

"So, process it all, it might not seem of use in the immediate days but will in the future." He took a sharp turn and that's when I realized we were nearing my home.

"Why are you dropping me home?" He raised his eyebrows in bewilderment.

"I mean I thought you were dropping me off at Dadar station."

"You need to learn a little about the roads if you intend to stay longer in Mumbai." This was a deliberate insinuation on his part.

"I know. I am a little, ok a little more lost, but it's been two weeks in Mumbai.

"Three weeks in Mumbai and you seem to be pretty lost always."

I broke into an explanation but refrained.

"You don't have to drop me all the way. My stay in Mumbai hasn't been very eventful. I continued. "I am stuck between home and office."

"Get a life. Check out Mumbai." It seemed so easy coming out from his mouth. But...Unlike him, I did not find Mumbai to be this hot curvaceous lady worth making love to.

He interrupted my thoughts of self-pity.

"I am going to Colaba and it's on my way."

"Okay. Fair enough. Thank you."

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you spot me?"

"Where should I drop you?" I turned my eyes from him to the road.

"That bus stop would do." I got off the car and before I could manage a thank you or goodbye, he was gone.