Chapter 43

I walked in to find the party low key. There weren't many people and I barely knew anyone. Abhi wanted to use the restroom to groom herself well, before making an appearance. There were papz but none of them would bother me for pictures. I heaved a sigh of relief. Abhi would relax to find no reporters hovering around us. I am sure there were bigger names to be wooed.

She walked in lazily taking in everyone around us. We both hit the bar to get us drinks. I ordered her a virgin mary while I stuck to plain fruit juice. I trained my eyes to look for Jindal, the man of the hour. The party picked up slowly and steadily as Bollywood started trickling in much later than usual. Jindal walked in with his wife in tow. I waved to him as soon as he caught my eye. He gestured me to come to him. I grabbed Abhi's hand; if she was surprised at being dragged she did not put up opposition or argument. She walked along and played the dutiful friend compliantly.

"Hi, Mr Jindal," She greeted the man formally. Jindal shook hands with her while he hugged me and his wife air-kissed me. She ignored Abhi despite my introduction to her as my friend. However, the man nudged his wife to elicit an acknowledgement towards her. She smiled forcefully and her displeasure for the same was clearly visible. She excused herself on the pretext of meeting some of her friends. Jindal engrossed me in a conversation and ushered me to a group of people, leaving behind Abhi to fend for herself alone.

_x_x__xx_x_x_X

I couldn't fit in this party crowd and felt totally out of place. My appearance spoke of my nondescript status. My work card was a saviour as my presence wasn't questioned by anyone till now. There were familiar faces all around, I had seen them on screen, posters, advertisements, but none that I could talk to. I stood in a corner and observed each one of them laughing, talking and dancing. While everything seemed perfect from the outside, the hollowness was visible to the outsider.

I was fascinated by these people's conversations and latched on to them with all ears. A starlet discussing plastic surgeries of her co-star while being a product of the same was a starkly hilarious situation. Though they sounded catty, it was too much fun to not enjoy. Their discussion when stopped at affairs, it was in such hushed voices that despite my obvious craning to hear, I feared being ousted if went too near them. My bloody Mary had been bled empty. I had to make my way to the bar to refill my glass.

The bartender looked at my ID and murmured to his colleagues about the leeches we journalists were who siphoned off all the free drinks shamelessly. I didn't feel embarrassed or angry at his judgement. That was true. I had observed how my colleagues loved the freebies and left no stone unturned to ensure they got their due share. A sharp chuckle that was audible amongst the loud music made me turn my eyes to find an uncomfortable Karan Thakure turning down the advances of a famous producer's wife. She cajoled him for photos and touched him at the slightest of pretext. He was patiently listening to her with no help around to be excused from her lousy overtures. I went up to him to put him out of his misery.

"Hi Karan," I ignored the lady. "Free to do a small interview with me." He lapped up the available opportunity to escape her.

"Yeah, sure. Please excuse me." He smiled sweetly for the lady. She had no option but to oblige. However, she did not leave without whispering something into his ear, which made Karan turn scarlet red in a matter of seconds. He turned towards me, placed a hand on my back and guided me to a smoking corner which was an open air space. While he was relieved, I found myself struggling to breathe amongst these faggers.

I coughed for a while before I adjusted myself to the smoke. He didn't pay much attention to my discomfort and asked me to brace it.

"Thank you for saving my ass." While he spoke his eyes danced with humour.

"Literally," because I did see the woman groping his ass back there.

"You did mark that?"

"Yes, that was creepy."

"I have seen creepier things than this. Plus she was sweet and well behaved."

Oh my God! If she was the epitome of well, good behaviour, I didn't know what was bad.

"She passed me a room number to meet here tonight in this hotel."

"If you are desperate you should take it up," I said casually. He rolled his eyes in surprise at my candid remark.

"You are too honest for your own good."

"If that is at the cost of my sanity, I'd prefer that."

"So, what are you doing here?" He asked. No journalists were allowed inside the party and I was an intern so this was a very obvious question.

"I am here with a friend." I shrugged my shoulders.

"You have friends in the right place." He stated. He took out a cigarette, lighted it and made a ring in the air. "I hope you don't mind?" He asked.

"I do." He stubbed the cigarette and threw it immediately. "I am sorry." He was quick in offering an apology.

"It's fine." I turned around to lean on to the edge and stared at the skyline of the city. He came and stood next to me. We both continued to stare at the city offering no words. After a long moment of silence, he finally spoke.

"You and I are very much on the same boat. Both of us are outsiders and struggling to survive this city and its mavericks. But I am sure we will fit in someday."

"I don't want to fit in," I told him. "I want to stand here and make a mark. The course will have to change from where I stand."

He started chuckling. "Idealism is good but doesn't last too long in this world. The bitter truth that I learnt very fast. I hope you do too but not the hard way... You know," he stopped for a second before he spoke again, "I am sorry I forgot your name."

"Abhilasha Bhayani," I told him.

"Yes, Abhilasha,... change is the only thing constant in Bollywood." I smiled ruefully at his wisdom. "However hard I try to remain true to myself, I find myself changing: slowly, adapting and moving on towards the oneness of these people. Survival here is in a ghetto, your talent can take you so far as to get one movie but your networking and connections can get you many more. In the end, I need more work."

"So, no more fighting the injustices, favouritism and pay parity?"

"No!" The answer was clear. " I can't go back, I can only move on."

"All the best then," I said sympathetically. "I don't want to change myself, I am going to keep fighting to remain the person I was."

"I hope you are stronger than me," was what he said with dismay.

We were interrupted by Jigar's arrival.

"What are you doing here? I have been looking for you."

"Hey," I spoke softly.

"Meet Karan Thakure, and he is my friend Jigar Bhansali," I pointed it out to him.

"Hey dude," Jigar took his hand in a firm shake and gave him a side hug. "Seen your work, you're really good."

"Thank you."

Jigar looked at me and raised his eyebrows in question. 'In a smoking zone? With an actor? What's going on?'

I smirked in reply to let him know, 'laters'.

Our silent exchange was not missed by Karan. He made a move.

"I will leave, thanks once again Abhilasha Bhayani. Hope I see you again and you too." He looked at Jigar with curiosity.

"Sure dude. I hope to work with you one day."

Karan could not control himself from asking, "Are you an actor?"

Jigar laughed and joked about his looks, "With this face, no way, I am good with producing."

An "oh" escaped Karan's mouth. "You're producing?" He asked for confirmation.

"Yes, the script is locked. We will start working once the things are official and we are past the stage..."

Jigar's words were lost in the commotion from inside which perhaps marked the arrival of the superstars of the industry.

"We should leave Abhi. Jaideep is here."

My world spun in a few seconds. What the hell is Jaideep doing at this party? I need to escape before he sees me with Jigar. I panicked for the worst and my face turned pale and my body limp with worry.

Karan who was a bystander to all this enquired if I was okay.

"Is there another exit? I don't want to go inside."

"Why don't you jump down from here?" Instead of helping devise an escape, Jigar was trying his hand at sarcasm.

"You moron, I told you I could get into trouble." I accused him.

"There is nothing to be scared of. We are leaving and the party is going strong, he wouldn't notice us in the crowd."

I scoffed, huffed and puffed, Karan who was flitting from one conversation to another could not make much sense except that I was avoiding Jaideep.

"I can help." He offered. "I can take you out."

"Leaving the party with you would spell bigger trouble. I will be the headline tomorrow for most gossip columns, 'Karan was seen leaving the hotel with a wannabe reporter'."

"God woman you are spinning everything to your convenience and around you," Jigar exclaimed.

"You've lost your senses the moment you've set foot in this city. I haven't."

"Why do you bother so much?" Karan interjected our fight. "I mean I am not worried seen leaving with you, but you are. This is a first. Girls would jump at an opportunity like this." Jigar was giggling like a girl. They air fisted their hands in unison.

"Argghh..." I wanted to tear my hair.

"I am going to leave the party on my own. You two can leave after me. Jigar you make sure...

"that Jaideep does not lay his eyes on you. Totally!"

The two of them seem to find this whole ordeal funny. It was strange for Karan to be a party to this with no rhyme and reason. They both continued to be amused while I prayed to the heavens above to let me go unscathed.

I walked inside. The music was louder than before and the revelry didn't seem to be ending anytime soon. I saw Jindal and Jaideep talking and laughing with a bunch of other people. I quickly moved towards the exit avoiding all eyes. Outside a group of reporters were talking about the new Editor-in-Chief of FMN walking into this party. That definitely piqued my interest. I went closer to them to hear what information they had.

"Some Jaideep Sahani is replacing the Kanwal guy in Delhi for the time being. Let's see what happens next."

Some things started becoming clearer to me but the exhaustion of the day and no food seemed to have started creating havoc within my body, because everything around me was spinning and to avoid collapsing at the doorway, I clutched my dupatta tightly and walked out for a breath of fresh air to hit my nausea.