#386 - Not now, and not ever

Faced with the girl's question,

Xu Ming didn't know how to answer.

It seemed like both were true, but also like neither was.

Did he not have any good feelings towards Zhu Cici?

That was definitely impossible.

When an extremely beautiful girl said she liked you, it would be impossible to say you weren't moved.

And was he really just keeping his distance from her because he was afraid of ruining her beautiful childhood memories?

That wasn't it either.

Perhaps it was more that he didn't want to deceive her pure feelings.

Or perhaps it was just a bit of selfishness on his part; he didn't want the good impression he had left on her as a child to be shattered.

Perhaps it was because of the vanity in his heart that he didn't want her to be disappointed in the current him.

Looking at Xu Ming's hesitant and conflicted expression, the corners of Zhu Cici's lips curled up, with a little girl's "I won" kind of cuteness: "Why doesn't Young Master Xu answer Cici?"

Xu Ming sighed again, his tone tinged with helplessness: "Miss Cici, to be honest, I already have two women I like. Yes, Miss Cici, you heard correctly, two, not just one."

Hearing Xu Ming's words, Zhu Cici pursed her lips tightly, feeling a sourness in her heart.

Xu Ming having women he liked was something Zhu Cici had anticipated.

Zhu Cici also knew that even if such a thing really happened, she wouldn't have the right to blame Xu Ming.

After all, how could a childhood promise be taken seriously?

Moreover, she hadn't seen Xu Ming all these years.

Wasn't it normal for Xu Ming to have other people in his heart?

But even though Zhu Cici was mentally prepared, her heart still ached when she heard Xu Ming say these things.

And after Xu Ming confessed to Zhu Cici, Xu Ming himself felt a bit like a scumbag, but he couldn't not say it; he really didn't want to deceive this pure girl.

It wasn't that Xu Ming was worried that after deceiving this girl, he would incur the revenge of Qi State and White Deer Academy.

It really was just because Xu Ming felt that this girl shouldn't be deceived by anyone.

Such a talented woman should have a sincere relationship that she believes in.

"Who are the two women?" Zhu Cici asked, her tone tinged with a bit of unwillingness.

Even though Zhu Cici vaguely guessed the names of these two people in her heart, she still wanted to hear Xu Ming say it himself.

"One is my childhood sweetheart, and also the Holy Maiden of the current Tianxuan Sect—Qin Qingwan. We were born together and have been together since childhood. Even though she went to the Tianxuan Sect, I can't forget her.

The other is the Princess of Wu State—Wu Yanhan. Although I refused Emperor Wu's bestowal of marriage at the time, it was only because I didn't want to be constrained by Wu State. I have many things to do in my heart, but in fact, I do have feelings for Yanhan."

Now that things had come to this, Xu Ming would say whatever Zhu Cici wanted to know, aiming for complete transparency.

Xu Ming also believed that when Zhu Cici knew that the person she had been thinking about was a fickle scumbag, she would give up on him.

Xu Ming really didn't want to say it so directly, as it would indeed hurt her pure memories.

But Cici seemed to be a very stubborn girl.

If he didn't say it this way, he didn't know how long she would struggle or how much time she would waste.

A long pain is worse than a short one; it's better to be frank.

At most, she would only be depressed for a while, and then she would embrace a new life. After all, Zhu Cici and I haven't had much contact, and she's not that deeply involved, so it shouldn't be difficult to move on.

After Xu Ming finished speaking, the two fell silent again.

Zhu Cici lowered her head, as if she was thinking about something. Xu Ming just stood in front of Zhu Cici, quietly waiting for Zhu Cici's reply.

After a long time, Zhu Cici raised her head and took a deep breath: "I understand."

Xu Ming nodded: "It's good that Miss Cici understands, but if Miss Cici doesn't mind, we might be able to become friends."

If you can't become lovers, it's generally difficult to become friends.

Even if you become friends, both sides will deliberately distance themselves.

This is the law from ancient times to the present.

Xu Ming said this only to give both sides a way out, not wanting to make the relationship between the two sides too stiff.

As for whether the two sides can really become friends, it's really hard to say.

"Then how does Young Master Xu view me?" Zhu Cici asked Xu Ming, not following up on the "become friends" suggestion, "I just want to ask, does Young Master Xu really not have any good feelings for me?"

"..." Xu Ming shook his head, "Miss Zhu has a captivating beauty, rare in the world, and is also knowledgeable and refined, with an elegant temperament. I believe that any normal man in the world, as long as they see Miss Zhu, will have good feelings for Miss Zhu."

Zhu Cici's lips curled up; "So Young Master Xu also does."

Xu Ming was stunned for a moment, then nodded: "I do too, but I also belong to the type who is attracted by appearance."

Zhu Cici covered her face and smiled lightly: "Young Master Xu is really straightforward."

"Because I really can't deceive you, Miss," Xu Ming looked at the girl's beautiful ink-like eyes, "So, Miss Cici, I am such a fickle person, really not worthy of your liking."

Zhu Cici shook her head: "Whether a person is worthy of Cici's liking, Cici will naturally judge."

Zhu Cici: "However, Cici is very happy that Young Master Xu can tell me everything."

Xu Ming: "You're too kind, Miss Cici."

"Then I have one more question, I wonder if Young Master Xu can answer it?" Zhu Cici's long eyelashes trembled slightly.

Xu Ming bowed: "Please speak, Miss Cici, as long as I can answer it."

Zhu Cici's pair of ink-colored eyes stared at Xu Ming's eyes, as if any change in Xu Ming's eyes could not escape the girl's eyes: "Did Young Master Xu like me when he was a child?"

"..." Xu Ming's mouth opened slightly, then slowly closed, and finally opened again, "When I was a child, I did like you."

"Then that is enough."

Zhu Cici took a step back, looking at Xu Ming with a smile.

"Xu Ming, you keep saying that you have changed, but in my opinion, you are still the same as before, still so considerate of others.

So...

Let me respond to your suggestion just now, Xu Ming."

A sea breeze blew past, gently stirring the girl's skirt and hair. The girl held down the long hair beside her cheek, and that gentle smile was like a pear blossom blooming in an ink painting:

"I will not become friends with you, Xu Ming, not now, and not ever."